Honorable Mention in the Missing Moments Contest
Title: Broken Dawn
Your pen name: Mistress Elektra
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical lyrics, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot and lyrics are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Parts of the novel Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer were lifted into this fanfiction, and I must give credit to her for writing them.
Summary: What really happened at the end of Chapter 23 of Eclipse after Jacob and Bella's kiss? For the Missing Moment Contest, what really happened between Jacob and Bella. At least IMO. This didn't really meet the parameters, but Le Crepuscule was kind enough to give me an honorable mention for it. That's super-nice and unexpected! Thank you, Le Crepuscule!
From Chapter 23 of Eclipse...
For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet eyes. As if I were looking through the filter of Jacob's thoughts, I could see exactly what I was going to give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save me from losing. I could see Charlie and Renée mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing as protector if I needed him. For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them.
And then, quite distinctly, I felt the splintering along the fissure line in my heart as teh smaller part wrenched itself away from the whole.
Jacob's lips were still before mine. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with wonder and elation.
"I have to leave," he whispered.
He smiled, pleased by my response. "I won't be long," he promised. "But one thing first..."
He bent to kiss me again, and there was no reason to resist. What would be the point?
This time was different. His hands were soft on my face and his warm lips were gentle, unexpectedly hesitant. It was brief, and very, very sweet.
His arms curled around me, and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear.
"That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never."
Against his chest, where he couldn't see, the tears welled up and spilled over.
I couldn't respond- everything in my body wanted to keep him here- just a little while longer. I just couldn't say it.
"Bella?" he repeated.
I felt his hand slip under my chin, lifting it up. He saw my tears. His big, brown eyes grew concerned- and a little triumphant.
"Don't leave me, Jake," I whispered. Something inside you is going to die if he does, a voice screamed inside me. "Please don't."
He looked at me, and something in his gaze said that he knew- what I was thinking, feeling, despite not being a mind-reader. I reached up to touch his cheek- it was warm- living, alive, so different.
"Say it," he murmured. "I know you feel it."
"I need you," I whispered. Maybe that wasn't what he wanted, but I knew I had to tell him something to have him progress. "I want you."
I ran my thumb over his eyebrow, over his cheekbone, over his lips. He was so warm… the ache in my chest told me what I had anticipated all along- he was my living mate. Edward was dead, but Jacob was not.
He kissed my fingers and then my palm. My whole world melted and disappeared. He was so close to my lips, my face... I did want him. I wanted him badly. My want was burning inside me- sensations I had been trying to squelch, beat down, deny. He grabbed me around the waist with his giant hands, almost completely encircling my middle. His lips claimed mine, not just a sweet, gentle brush, but a real kiss. His hot tongue slid past my lips, and I welcome him in. I had longed for a warm mouth to kiss mine- openly, not clamped shut chastely.
I knew reality was behind me. This couldn't possibly be real.
His hands unzipped my hoodie, slipping it off my shoulders. I shivered in the cold winter, my arms exposed under the sleeves of my t-shirt. His hot hands skimmed my arms, making me shake, slightly. "I want you," I repeated although I wasn't sure if that was really true.
He grabbed the hem of my shirt lifting it up off my torso. I lifted my arms over my head compliantly.
"Jake," I breathed. I was now standing with my breasts exposed to him. He examined me, staring, as if the world revolved around my breasts, his giant hands floated above them. The heat of his hands finally made contact. A strange, gutteral sound came out of my mouth. It was obvious what was supposed to happen next. What needed to happen- something I craved.
I took his shorts came off, kneeling down to take them off around his ankles- now he was standing completely naked in front of me- even more intimidating looking up. I had never been naked in front of a man before- ever. He kneeled down to my level, his body melting the snow. I pressed my lips to his chest- he was burning hot. He unbuttoned my jeans, reaching in, pushing my panties aside to touch me with those giant fingers.
The feelings crashed into me- like a tsunami. I did want him-- so bad. I needed something- and Jacob was willing to give it to me. My head flopped back, enjoying the touch to my slick skin, causing me to shiver, cry out. His fingers felt a little too expert, a little too pushy. Something inside me panicked.
"Jake," I said, not sure.
"Have you done this before?"
He blushed. "No… but the pack… a lot of my brothers have and… you know…"
"Oh," I muttered.
He pulled my jeans the rest of the way down, taking my shoes with it. We didn't bother with my socks.
I was now complete naked in front of him. I realized how strange my naked body was, and crossed my arms over my chest to cover up. He was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
"Bella," Jake said. "You're beautiful."
Now, there was nothing to hide- nothing to hide behind for either of us. When he pressed his naked body to mine, the heat of his skin warmed and chilled me all at once. He kissed me again, it seemed more and more natural each time. I felt his dick rubbing against my thigh- I had never seen a naked man before- not even my father. The lock on our bathroom door worked at home. I whimpered under his kiss.
I was over thinking. "It's… it's okay," I said. I couldn't think right now. My nails dug into his back, shivering, gasping, waiting- I felt his head grazing the top of my cleft. It felt too good to not give in suddenly. Feeling, sensations I had only dreamt about with Edward… No… "I need you, Jake," I whispered. My legs bent, letting him in toward my core.
He pushed in and hit the barrier of my virginity. He smiled. "I thought so," he whispered. I felt him drive in, making me scream.
I hadn't been anticipating the pain. I thought sex was enjoyable.
"Jacob!" I cried, shutting my eyes tightly.
He groaned. "God, Bells… I never thought… I never thought it was true… I'm sorry," he slurred. "You feel so good… so good…"
"It hurts," I whimpered.
"I'm sorry," he said, holding me close. "I'm sorry, Bella."
I opened my eyes and realized something- it didn't hurt anymore. Not as bad as that one moment. I saw Jacob looking into my face and I relaxed. It was just Jake and me.
He began to move, and I felt his member rubbing in and out of me. I felt the friction and quickly attempted to move with him.
This was it- I got the rhythm down and realized how pleasurable and comforting it was. His shaft was inside me- buried inside- we were one. Literally one.
"Yes," I hissed. "Oh yes, Jacob!"
"I waited so long for this," he said, kissing my lips. Our mouths connected and I grazed my tongue over his teeth.
"Bells," he muttered. "I love it when you say my name."
"Jake!" I repeated. I felt the tension coiling and building with the friction. My nails scratched down his back, the shockwaves going through my body. He burst into me, sending me over the edge.
He stroked my hair as we came down. It was only a snap, only a second. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I understood what I had been looking for in Jake.
Yes, this was it. Jake squeezed me and I felt warm again.
This was perfect. The ice-covered trees and the snow all around our naked bodies. Jacob holding me, stroking my hair and gazing into my eyes.
I had been so wrong. So wrong about so many things.
"That was perfect, Jake," I sighed, sounding like a little kid.
"Bell, I'm sorry."
"Why?" I asked.
"I have to go."
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
He wasn't going to stay with me.
He was going to fight.
And possibly die.
But… I had done more than just kiss him!
I thought stupidly, that sex with him would make him stay with me for a while longer. But, he was loving me and leaving me!
He let go of me to get up off me.
"Jacob," I pleaded, feeling tears in my eyes.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I had to go defend the rez."
I stuttered like a little girl. "Jake-"
"I'm sorry. This is my blood. My family. Who I am."
He bent down to kiss me. I turned away and he got a mouthful of dried leaves stuck to my hair. "Stay."
"I'm sorry, I can't. 'Bye, Bella. I'll be right back."
With that, Jacob turned around and began to run, his gate turning into a gallop and his russett skin changing to red-brown fur. I was left alone with the realization that I had just just my virginity to Jacob-- I was bleeding all over the frozen ground where the snow had melted from Jacob's heat-- and Edward, my love, my soulmate- was waiting for me back in the tent.
I had betrayed him. He had to know. I stood up and sorted through our scattered mess of clothing to pick out my own garments, along with what was left of my dignity.
What was I thinking? I felt like an idiot. Jacob had succeeded in driving in a wedge, one that Edward could never forgive me for.
After last night's argument between Jacob and Edward, he was tuned enough to Jacob's mind- he had to know.
My cheeks were wet and I was freezing in the light snow. But, I felt like dying at that moment, giving myself over to Victoria. Edward didn't deserve a person like me.
I dressed in the cold, my lady bits aching, my white socks getting dirty and wet, and trudged back to the tent. "Edward?" I asked.
He wasn't there. He could never love me again. I was sure of it. How was I going to tell him what he'd already know, just listening to Jake.
I lay facedown across the sleeping bag, waiting for justice to find me. Maybe an avalanche would bury me here. I wished it would. I never wanted to have to see my face in the mirror again.
There was no sound to warn me. Out of nowhere, Edward's cold hand stroked against my knotted hair. I shuddered, guiltily at his touch.
"Are you alright?" he murmered, his voice anxious.
"No. I want to die."
"That will never happen. I won't allow it."
I groaned and then whispered, "You might change your mind about that."
"He went to fight," I mumbled into the floor.
Jacob had left the little camp joyfully-- with a cheerful "I'll be right back"--running fill tilt for the clearing, already quivering as he prepared to shift to his other self. By now the whole pack knew everything. Seth Clearwater, pacing outside the tent, was an intimate witness to my disgrace.
Edward was silent for a long moment. "Oh," he finally said.
The tone of his voice worried me that my avalance wasn't coming fast enough. I peeked up at him and, sure enough, his eyes were unfocused as he listened to something I'd rather die than have him hear. I dropped my face back to the floor.
It stunned me when Edward chuckled reluctantly.
"And I thought I fought dirty," he said with grudging admiration. "he makes me look like the patron saint of ethics." His hand brushed against the part of my cheek that was exposed. "I'm not mad at you, love. Jacob's more cunning than I give him credit for. I do wish you hadn't asked him, though."
"Edward," I whispered to the rough nylon. "I... I... I'm--"
"Shh," he hushed me, his fingers soothing against my cheek. "That's not what I meant. It's just that he would have kissed you anyway-- even if you hadn't fallen for it-- and now I don't have an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too."
"Fallen for it?" I mumbled almost incomprehensibly.
"Bella, did you really believe he was that noble?" That he would go out in a flame of glory just to clear the way for me?"
I raised my head slowly to meet his patient gaze. His expression was soft; his eyes were full of understanding rather than the revulsion I deserved to see.
"Yes, I did believe that," I muttered, and then looked away. But I didn't feel any anger at Jacob for tricking me. There wasn't enough room in my body to contain anything besides the hatred I felt for myself.
Edward laughed softly again. "You're such a bad liar, you'll believe anyone who has the least bit of skill."
"Why aren't you angry with me?" I whispered. "Why don't you hate me?" Or haven't you heard the whole story, yet?"
"I think I got a fairly comprehensive look," he said in a light, easy voice. "Jacob makes vivid mental pictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting nauseated. But Sam is making Jacob focus now."
I closed my eyes and shook my head in agony. The sharp nylon fibers of the tent floor scraped against my skin.
"You're only human," he whispered, stroking my hair again.