HI EVERONE! THis is my onest fic, so review plz! If you like it mabye i'll right mor.

Discliamer: I have no possesionz.

One day, after the awful accident, Cal was walking down the street holding a ~pineapple~.

"Oh, Mr. Sir Dr. Lightman, why do you have that pineapple?" Asked Heidi. Also, Heidi asked the question.

"Well, luv, I has this pineapple because everybody knows that pineapples are the ~fruit of love~. Okay, luv? Luv luv luv luv."

"Pineapples are the loving fruit?" Heidi asked as tears poured into her eyes.

"Yes, luv. Very yes." Lightman said, and for the first time since yesterday or maybe an hour ago, tears poured into HIS EYES.

"This is be for your true love?" The question said.

"Yes. Gillian is me true love, luv. My heart is her heart, luv. I live for her life or something. I just figured it out on the way over here. And look at this pineapple? Doesn't it remind of beautiful Gilian? The leaves? The pokies? The yellow?"

More tears poured into Heidi's eyes, so much so that they were DROWNING in love. And syrup.

"Luv, luv luv luv luv." Cal say.

"Oh what does you have here?" A voice came form behind thems, and they turned and they looked. It was Foster standing behind them. She was the one who just talked. She is also standing behind them. Behind Dr. Lightman and Heidi. Foster.

And then, more and more tears poured and POURED into Cal's eyes. And ears. And then some dripped into his nose somehow.

"My very love, is make gift of this pineapple. It is the pineapple of love, luv. Luv luv luv. Oi!"

"Oh, Mr. Sir Dr. Lightman!" Gillian said, "From the very beginning of our attendance, I love-ed you. I waited and waited for you give me love fruit. But will you prove to me your love?"

Cal nodded. Also, he moved his head up, and then he moved his head down. This is something people do in America when they mean yes. Even through Cal is from Germany. He does it because he in America.

"Luv, my luvey luv luv, I will prove you my love a million zillion times. Gillian is the one I'm talking to."

"Yes, I know, Cal. You always to be calling me by my first name. Ever time."

"Luv, Gillian, how will I prove me love? Do I sing you Evanescence?"

"NO DON'T DO THAT I'LL HATE YOU FOREVER AND STOMP ON YOUR DEAD BODY." Gillian was person who said that line. Also, she pick up the pineapple and threw it at his head.

"Do I cut off my arms to show my love, luv?"

"No, I need your arms to hug me."

"Do I cut off my legs?"

"No, you probably will need to use those at some point. Also, me no likey the blood."

"Do I stand on this desk?" Now, Lightman was standing on the desk. "Do I scream that I love you?" Now, lightman had was screaming what he said he scream.

Gillian sighed the awful sigh and thought, "Oh, I love you so much." And then she said, "Oh, I love you so much."

"She is so beautiful. Like the morning of Leningrad. Or Somewhere in my home country of Germany." Cal thought. And then he said, "You is so beautiful. Like the morning of Leningrad. Or Somewhere in my home country of Germany."

And they laughed happy laugh. This was the laugh of joy. Laughing is what people do in America when they're happy, but not in Leningrad. Billy Joel say so.

When they laughed the happy laugh, Gillian screamed. "Oh!" She screamed. She said something with a high volume.

"What is it, my luvey luv luv?" This was Cal talking now, He holded her hand and bended downe to hold it.

"I think I am pregnant. Because of your declaration of love. You so romantic it give me babies."

"How many babies?"

"Hundreds." Right now, Gillian is pregnant with Cal's hundreds of babies. In her tummy. You see, when a man and a woman fall in love . . .


"Is that word you say?"

"THOSE ARE MY HUNDREDS OF BABIES AND I WILL STEAL THEM!!!!" Alec said. He was standing behind them the whole time, behind a leafy plant.

"GAAAAAH" This is still Alec who speak. He tries to took Call down from the desk, but Cal kicked him in the head and threw the pineapple at the awful head of Alec.

"You killed me with the fruit of LOVE!" Alec say, dead on the floor.

"I'm pregnant with hundred babies, Alec is dead, a have pineapple, and Cal is my love forever." I'll let you guess who say this. "This best day in many, many moons."

"Is good thing, yeah. Pineapple saved day. Me Tarzan." Cal speak.

"Yes, we owe every happy to this beautiful pineapple. We be happy forever because."

And they kissed the pineapple, and as Gilian gave birth to a million billion babies, tears poured into and out of every orifice in their face.


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