AN: Also written for an English assignment... This is sort of set in Sarah Shalom David's Sarah universe. Well... our Facebook/MSN role-play version of it. It has Sarah and Ziva in it, the rest is different. Her stories are VERY good. She broke 300 the other day. Go check them out. I love you little one :) Please read it at least everyone. A review would be nice? Sorry to you guys that are waiting for more in "Truth in the Lies" it is coming... eventually.
Not a day goes by that I do not hate myself for what happened. I could have stopped it! I should have stopped. She was right there in my arms when I was knocked out and then, I woke up and she was gone.
The last thing I can recall was answering the knock on the door, seeing the pure rage in Michael's (pron. Mik-i-el's) eyes, my baby crying... or was that the other way around? And then... nothing. Blackness, blankness, emptiness.
I came to, and I could not see her, I could not hear her. Where was my baby? I searched, frantically, I tossed the house from top to bottom. I went to the police, they could do nothing. I told them about Michael, they practically threw me out of the door. I still do not know why. Who was he, that they were so afraid? Or were they not afraid at all? Did they not care that my baby was gone?
I knew then that they would not help me. I looked for her everywhere. I spent all my savings hiring private detectives to help me in my search. After two years my parents and my friends who had stuck by me, tried to convince me my baby was dead. If she were dead I would know. I would feel a gap, an emptiness in my heart in the space she fills. Wouldn't I?
I had to get out of Tel Aviv for a while. I drove and drove and drove, as far as I could. I do not recall much of where I went or why or what I did. I could not think straight without my baby girl safe in my arms, without the knowledge of her well being I was at a loss as to what to do. I could not eat or drink, for I was too busy looking for my little princess. I could not concentrate on anything that did not involve finding my first born child. I do not know what happened in the months that followed, for it was like a heavy fog that clouded my judgement and memory attempting to block out the harming feelings from the loss of my daughter. I do not know how I got here, for I am in Egypt with a friend of mine now and finally I feel the fog beginning to clear, even though I know in my heart that it will never fully lift from my life. I will never give up looking for my child although part of me admits that she is gone. Noam found me there, and to this day I do not know how. We talked, for a very long time. He finally convinced me to go see my baby's grave. I knew it was empty but he told me that it would help. I think I have finally accepted now that she is gone. That, although she is not dead, I refuse to believe that she is dead, she is never coming back. I will never forget her.
The world may never notice
If a snowdrop does not bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way,
For all eternity.
The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.
There are other children now, a little boy named Aaron and my second baby girl, Tali, but... I will never forget my first baby, my little princess. My Sarah.