***Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and her licensees. Used without permission for nonprofit entertainment. Go buy some copies of the manga and anime, it'll keep 'em out of my hair.***

**TRANSLATED TRANSCRIPT NT-039-001**

To be included in martial artist infopak NT-039, as well as individual hunk packs 39-1, 39-2, and 39-3

**Draft Copy--from personal recorder**

Oh, thank God! You speak English! My friend over there can speak Japanese very well, but I barely know "Sayonara" from "sukiyaki." Sigh.

Oops! Where are my manners? I believe introductions are in order. My name is Russell Wood. You can call me Russ! The blond guy getting the snot beat out of him is Ken Bakker. Huh? What's so funny? Oh. His last name sounds like the word for "idiot?" Heh. Well, the brown-haired guy over there by Ryoga is our resident translator, John Green. And you are? Nabiki Tendo? That's a beautiful name...

Well, I suppose you'd like to hear our story, right?

I'll take the yen signs in your eyes as a "yes." Short form: we're new martial artists in town, we all have Jusenkyo curses, and, right now, my friend is getting rated on the Nerima scale by Ranma.

Before you ask, I'll get to the curse forms in a minute. I need to explain just why we're here. We want to go home, but in order to deal with the weirdness that goes with a Jusenkyo curse, we need some training. I mean, where else but at the Tendo Dojo would we find teachers with practical experience, right?

And, no, we're not extra fiancees for either Ranma or Akane. Heaven forbid!

Hmm? You need more info? Well, Ryoga said if you asked too many questions to have the answers applied to our tabs. You'll think about it? Okay, but Ranma said we should get it in writing first. Brrrrr. That was one of the most effective "cold death gazes" I've ever seen! Too bad Ken couldn't take advantage of the opening in Ranma's defense you caused.

Ah! A contract! Written in English, no less! You're good. Mind if I read it first? Cool.

Uh-huh! Looks good, but I can only sign for myself. My friends are really paranoid about contracts and stuff. They read everything very carefully. There you go. I hope our business relationship can be mutually profitable. Now, down to brass tacks. Huh? Oh. It's an expression. Kinda like, "Let's get down to business." It's a little archaic, but a lot punchier! Heh.

The whole thing started while we were on our way to an anime convention in Baltimore. We'd gotten to the city okay, but John had gotten us lost on the way to the convention center. We spotted what looked like someone dressed as a character from this martial arts show John's always raving about, so he stopped the car. He hollered out and asked the guy if he wanted a ride.

John had figured that if the guy was walking in costume, then we couldn't be too far from the convention, right? Might as well ask the guy to direct us to the con center. Big mistake. Our mysterious hitchhiker was... Right. Ryoga.

Huh? What anime character was he dressed as? I'm not sure. John is the biggest otaku in the group; he's into everything anime. Ken's into the old ultra-violence and giant robots. I just watch Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star and stuff like that. Maybe a few Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan movies on the side, but otherwise I just play video games and do martial arts. What style? Jeet Kune Do, third dan, with a red belt in Tai Chi and three weeks training with Ryoga. You've probably already figured out that Ken's style is Okinawan Karate. Don't worry too much about John; he just started doing martial arts three weeks ago, but he had a really good sensei.

Hmm? My Japanese seems good? No. I just know the words that have been widely used in martial arts flicks in the States. What? Who was his sensei? Oh, just some shrivelled up perverted letch called... Wait, he's right behind me, isn't he? No? Well, how about that? Happy surprises me again... What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost. Huh? Happy was your father's sensei? Wow. Small world isn't it?

Anyway, back to our story. Ryoga accepted our offer and John had him direct us. Well, we drove into a tunnel under Chesapeake Bay and came out in Paris. Then, we drove through the Arc de Triomphe and went around Trafalgar Square a couple of times, having somehow travelled to London. After that, we just gave up on rationalizing what was going on and drove around completely lost until we ran out of gas at Jusenkyo.

Ouch! Damn! That looks painful! I sure am glad I'm not facing Ranma. Huh? Why? Well, according to Ryoga, the property damage would be more severe if I somehow had my curse activated while we fought. I'm not sure why, though.

Right, you wanted to know our curse forms. Well, I fell into Paoniichuan, or the Spring of Drowned Leopard. I don't remember the Chinese names of the springs the other guys fell in, but Ken fell into the Spring of Drowned Red Panda. The little ones, you know, not the great big black and white teddy bears. John was lucky. He gets to stay human. Huh? Nyanniichuan? That doesn't sound like what the guide told us John fell into. What's that? Spring of Drowned Girl? Well, yeah, he does turn into a girl. Damn cute, too. You'd like to use his "talents?" Sorry, John said absolutely not. I'm not sure why, but he seemed to expect someone to ask that. Hell, John has been downright scary since we got here. He's the one that led us here after we made it to Tokyo, and he's never left America before our trip. It's almost as if he knows Nerima like a native... Well, that's not important right now. It's my turn to get evaluated. I get to face Ranma's father.

Well, nice talking to you, Nabiki. See you later!

**End Transcript NT-039-001**