"Absolutely not."

"Why not, West? I mean, it's not fair…"

"It's perfectly fair, Gilbert."

"It's not! Why does Francis get his own? And Feliks? And Alfred? And all the Nordics? And you?"

"Stop glaring at me, bruder. Since you're technically East Germany now, we kind of share it…"

"Nein, Ludwig. It's not fair. I want one for Prussia, too."

"You've never liked sharing, Gilbert. But you technically can't because nobody can discover anything in Prussia anymore."


"That's final, Gilbert."

"You're such a mean little bro, West! And after all I've done for you…"

"Or rather, after all I've done for you."

"C'moooooon. Couldn't Marie Curie just…"

"She wasn't Prussian, Gilbert. She was Polish. And besides, it's not like it's a big deal if you have one of your own."

"And she gets her own element on the stupid periodic table? Curium? It is a big deal!"

"Gilbert, it's an element."

"And Francium? Polonium? Americium? Scandium? Germanium? C'mon, West. I want my own. It's like, a symbol of awesomeness."

"Stop being immature, Gilbert. If you want, go discover some new element and name it Prussium or something. Are you happy now? Wait, don't smile like that, Gilbert. You make me nervous when you do that–"

"Gott! West, that's genius! Sometimes I'm so proud of you. You think there's some cool undiscovered element in the backyard? Hey, where'd you put the old shovel?"

"Shut up, Gilbert."

"You can't shut me up! I'm going to discover Prussium, and when I get the Newbery Prize whatever for finding it, you aren't getting a mention in my acceptance speech!"

"Ugh. Gilbert, get back here. Gilbert!"

notes: Americium is technically shared by North and South America.

Polonium and Curium were both discovered by Marie Curie, who named the former for her home country.

The Newbery Medal is given to outstanding novels. Gilbert (probably) means the Nobel Prize.

a dialogue-only exercise I did because someone told me I describe too much.