Another songfic! You wouldn't believe how many times I re wrote this piece, but still an enjoyable ride at that.
Dedicated to one of my personal favorite writers in the game…Novus Ordo Seclorum! Aka N.O.S.
Wasn't easy and took me forever but here it is and I hope you enjoy it!
On with the story!
Raven drew a small frowny face on the fogged window. The Fall rain outside was coming down hard making it cold in the tower. The heater was broken and would take a little longer to fix. In the meantime she went back to her window drawing.
"Rae, that's the last box." Beast Boy said from behind her. His voice was filled with underhanded desperation. An attempt to get a rise of emotion out of her.
But she did not turn around, instead she grunted in response.
"Well uhm if you have nothing left to say to me then I guess I'll be on my way."
"Bye." She said pressing her forehead to the cold glass and closing her eyes.
She heard a sigh escape from his lips and he turned around as began to walk out. But she heard him abruptly return and the door slammed behind him.
"Rae what's your problem?! Why are you acting like this? I'm leaving Rae and I'm not coming back. Don't you care; does it bother you at all?!"
Raven looked toward him for the first time that day. His jaw was locked aggressively yet not threateningly. His eyebrows lacing together. His shoulders tensed and his hands remained at his sides wanting desperately to turn into fist but couldn't find the energy.
Her hard looked remained on him even though she was too tired to be angry. They both were.
"Yes your leaving bothers me but these things happen and there is nothing we can do about it apparently."
"That's just the problem Raven; you always pretend things don't bother you. You've always been cold. And that's why we're in this situation."
"We're in this situation because you decided to go off and move in with Marris and abandon the team." Raven retorted with a hint of jealousy in her voice only he could pick up.
"I'm not abandoning the team and she is not the reason why I'm leaving."
"Oh really." She said standing up. "Then please tell me your real motive for leaving."
"You don't want to know." Beast Boy said avoiding her eyes at all cost.
"No don't start something you can't finish, I need to hear it from your mouth."
"I'm leaving because of you Rae. I can't stay here with you anymore."
Leaves are on the ground
Fall has come
Blue skies turning grey
Like my love
I tried to carry you
And make you whole
But it was never enough
I must go
Beast Boy now Garfield laid on the couch his head resting on the arm. In his hand was a remote. He was plopping through channels trying to find something to occupy his time with. He had stopped paying attention a long time ago.
His ears perked up involuntarily as he heard the door to the one-bedroom apartment open and close.
"Hey babe I'm home." He did not look at the door or turn his head. He sat up while still keeping his eyes on the T.V.
"Hey Marris." He replied in an almost rehearsed tone.
She came in the room and kissed him. She then walked into the back room still talking to him.
"So what did you do today?" She called out.
"Nothing much, went to the gym, ran a couple laps in the park then crashed all day."
He could hear the shower start up.
'Probably washing away the evidence.' He thought to himself.
When he was on the team, he was known as the idiot. But this was just insulting.
He knew Marris did not work until 6:30. He knew that she was cheating on him, but he really had no conviction to call her out on it, if he had she would kick him out and then he would be homeless.
He couldn't go back to the tower. Not while she was still there. It was hard enough to pretend like he didn't love her anymore, but seeing her would make it unbearable.
"Marris I'm going out for a couple of hours." He called to her over the running water.
"Where are you going?" She replied.
Garfield decided not to answer. Instead he threw on his coat and closed the apartment door without bothering to lock it.
'Make it easier for the poor fellow.' He thought bitterly to himself. All he had to do was tell Marris he was going out for a while and she would have any boy she wanted over in a flash. She was good with quickies.
Not that he would know of course.
Garfield walked through the lobby and the doorman opened the door for him. The cool winter air slammed into his face.
He walked outside and began to walk down the block. Time went by and street signs changed but he didn't turn back not once. His feet began to ache but he seemed mesmerized, almost hypnotized. There was some place he had to go but didn't know where.
He started thinking about Raven and what she must look like after three years. A very random thought but he needed something to keep himself occupied on this long journey to nowhere.
They had been separated for so long, absolutely no contact. Cyborg had tried tracking him several times but with no success.
'Hey, I guess I'm just good at hiding.' He chuckled darkly; none of his jokes seemed to be pure hearted anymore.
He turned a corner and saw that it had been blocked off. There was a large crowed surrounding the area. There was screaming and chanting. He didn't have to wonder long what was going on when he made out that the rants were cheering on the Titans.
Apparently the heroes were going against Adonis and apparently they weren't doing too well. He saw Robin now Nightwing pelt him with exploding disks. Starfire, God bless her, was throwing starbolts as fast as she could. Cyborg and that oh so huge cannon blasting away, and the new guy they had replaced him with.
Gar didn't know the full details of his powers but knew it had something to do with invisibility.
'Why fight when you can hide.' Beast Boy mocked him in his mind.
He looked around trying to spot Raven but couldn't find her. Adonis was chucking cars at the team which Raven could easily catch and return had she not been MIA.
"After all these years you guys still think you can take down Adonis?" He let out a laugh and hurled another car at Starfire in which her response was flying out the way making it a close call.
"Adonis is the strongest, meanest, baddest there is!" He exclaimed to the heavens.
'Baddest?' Gar questioned in his mind. 'Is that even a word?' He brushed it off and decided it was best to leave. He turned around and began to walk away.
His feet brought him here for a reason, but what did they know? They're feet.
Numerous exploding sounds roared behind him which he took kindly to ignoring. Beast Boy made his way around another corner.
He looked up and saw a figure fly into a building. More like hurled into the building. He ignored it at first thinking surely the Titans can handle it, but something didn't feel right.
It was weird, he felt compelled to go find out what it was. He followed his gut.
There was panic in the building, people screaming and running outside.
"What's going on here?" He asked what looked like secretary grabbing her things ready to head out.
"The building's under attack!" She screamed.
He turned away from her. The calamity ensued around him with people, papers and security going haywire.
Garfield ran to the stairs and took a less than a second to contemplate whether he should go up or down. His instincts propelled him upstairs and he ran.
Flight after flight he ran.
He stopped when he saw the same gaping hole from outside.
He saw a movement on the floor, barely visible to the eye but he was quick enough to catch it.
"Is someone here?" He called out.
The only response was a groan. He took that as a yes and ran to the spot. The figure was under a desk which he threw off to the side with little effort.
'Raven. Of course. It had to be her.' He thought trying to be spiteful but couldn't find any honesty in his words.
He lost any form of resentment when he saw the condition she was in.
Panic flowed through his veins. She was bleeding from her forehead due to the long scar running from the center of her face to her left ear.
"Perfect." He spat disdainfully.
He took Raven's face in his hands and shook her gently.
"Come on Rae, I'm gonna need you to wake up now. Raven wake up!"
Her eyes flashed open but quickly closed again.
"No Rae come on don't give up now. Wake up."
He saw her eyes twitch and they opened groggily.
"Beast Boy what are you doing here?" She asked drifting in and out if consciousness.
"I'm here to get you out of here." Beast Boy put his arm around her back and lifted her into a sitting position.
"Beast Boy get out of here, this isn't your fight." He sighed trying to calm himself.
"Raven, you're my friend which means your fight is my fight. Now I'm getting you out if here whether you like it or not."
He proceeded to pick her up and walk toward the door. Her tattered uniform hanging off her body. Her face puckered and bruised.
"Rae what happened to you?" He asked hoping to God she wouldn't take it the wrong way. "I mean three years ago you wouldn't take a beating like this from anybody. Especially Adonis. You always walked away with the least amount of scars."
"I guess things change over time." She paused to cough. She tried stifling it to try and save some of her dignity but couldn't hold back the fit.
"What could have brought on this Rae? There is no way you could have gotten weaker. You're not the type; you're the type that only gets stronger."
"Maybe I'm not the same person since you left."
"What, are you saying that I did this to you?"
"Believe it or not Beast Boy, I do care about you. And I did take it hard when you left."
"Could've fooled me." He said with slight regret in his voice.
"Maybe that was the idea all along." She said before she fell asleep in his arms refusing to answer any more questions.
Who is gonna save you
When I'm gone?
And who'll watch over you
When I'm gone?
You say you care for me
But hide it well
How can you love someone?
And not yourself?
Raven lay in the infirmary for close to three hours now. Gar glanced up at the clock at the wall. He did this only at short intervals since it seemed to move slower when he looked at it.
One of the double doors opened slowly to reveal Cyborg. He aged a bit. Not very visible but the stress must not have been too well for him.
"Hey BB how have you been?" Had this had been three years ago, Cyborg's greeting would have been more life filled. Now it seemed to be drained and running low.
"How have I been, how have I been?" Beast Boy repeated squinting up at Cyborg from his chair. "You haven't seen me in three years and that's all you have to say to me?"
"Well I'm sorry but under the circumstances there really isn't anymore to say to you."
"So you hate me too. You think I'm responsible for Raven's condition too."
"B I don't hate you, and no one blames you for what's happened to Raven. Dude she's going to be fine, she's awake right now if you want to talk to her."
"I really shouldn't"
"I wouldn't know what to say."
"It's better than saying nothing."
"Cy she doesn't want to talk to me."
"Only one way to find out." Cyborg said in a final tone as he held the door open for Beast Boy.
He walked in slowly and heard the door shut behind him. Raven was lying down almost like a corpse. This frightened him a little. Almost like a look into her future.
A look into her future with him not in it.
It took him a moment later to notice that someone else was in the room. The invisible guy. A flash of anger came fast and left just as quickly when the attention came onto him.
"Scarce can you give us a second?" Raven said surprisingly normal rather than weak like he expected.
The one named Scarce walked out not giving Gar a second glance.
"Is he your boyfriend?" Gar asked shortly.
"He wishes." Raven replied which made him smile.
Raven sat up some more which he took as an invitation to come closer.
"Listen Rae, I know…"
"No Beast Boy let me talk. I'm grateful that you saved me; I owe my life to you. If you ever need a favor, please don't hesitate to ask. With that being said you can leave with a clear conscience and do not take any responsibility for what has happened. And don't deny that you do because I heard some of your conversation outside with Cyborg."
"What?" He replied as if her speech completely went over his head.
"I said thank you and don't feel guilty. So you can leave now."
"Raven I don't want to leave."
"You don't want to leave, or you can't leave? I told you I'm fine and you do not need to feel guilty."
"Raven as much as I want to say I don't feel guilty, I do. You're hurt, had I have been there, this could have been avoided. Had things turned out differently we could, I don't know. But I bet it would have been better than this."
"We can't know that for sure. It's best not to dwell on things we have no control over."
"Still the same Raven."
"Beast Boy please don't drag this out any longer than it has to be."
"Raven please. If you really want me to leave then I'll go. But if we still have a chance."
"Beast Boy, it's not about what I want. It's about what's best for both of us."
He sighed looking at her again. He walked over to her and looked down at her again. He bent down and gave her a hug.
"Please Rae, this has to last me a life time." She understood what he meant and hugged him back.
They released each other despite both their feelings to hold on. He turned around and walked out.
And when I'm gone
Who will break your fall?
Who will you blame?
I can't go on
And let you lose it all
It's more than I can take
Who'll ease your pain?
Ease your pain
Raven sat in the living room looking out at the winter snow falling roughly on the ground. It's time like these she tries to feel grateful that she has a warm place to sleep and food to eat. But this time she felt empty.
She knew why but refused to speak it out loud or even think about it.
She had had Beast Boy right there. She could feel him, she held him, and just like before she unjustifiably pushed him away. Let him go without any real explanation as to what her motives were.
She rubbed the back of her neck slowly. Ever since the accident happened, that area has flared up during the cold weather.
She went back to her thoughts of not thinking about Beast Boy.
'He had a look of a lost animal in his eyes. Like he didn't know where to go. And I shoved him back out. I left the kitten out in the cold.' Raven had a feeling of self disgust take over. It lingered for a moment and dispersed when a voice appeared behind her.
"Hey Raven how are you doing?"
"Uhm I kind of made you some hot chocolate." He handed her the mug. "Be careful, it's hot."
"Thank you Liam. This was very nice of you."
"It's nothing Raven."
She returned her gaze to the window looking out at the snow covered city. Knowing Beast Boy is somewhere out there with his Marris.
She resisted the urge to scoff out loud. That normally brings about people's attention.
"So uhh kind of rough weather we're having huh?"
"Yeah but when you're inside surrounded by people you care about over a warm cup of cocoa, it kind of makes the atmosphere nice. Don't you think?"
"Yeah I guess."
"Rae, are you sure you're okay? I mean ever since Beast Boy…" He cut himself off in realization. "Oh wait; please don't tell me this is about him. I mean come on Raven, that was two months ago. And frankly I think that you're better off without him."
Raven felt like turning her gaze over to him, to show him her irritation and aggression towards his words. But she remained looking out towards the blizzard outside.
"Look I know you guys had something going on before and I completely understand. But Rae you have got to forget about him. I mean you're the one who always bounces back first. I've never seen you so hung up on a guy before. Maybe you just need a distraction. Someone who will help you get over him."
Raven took in a deep breath and spoke before he had the chance to continue on with his ramblings.
"Listen Liam, I'm going to be straight with you. Apparently you are telling me to forget about Beast Boy and move on with my life which I completely understand your point. And just like you are giving me advice, let me give some to you. You are telling me to forget my feelings and my suggestion is you take your own advice."
Liam gave her a confused look which she could see right through. Right underneath the surface she can see his nervousness.
"Yes Liam, I know you are harboring feelings for me, I have known for some time. And please I would like it if you stopped. Forget your feelings about me and move on. In short, get over me; it's not to going to happen."
She went back to looking outside. Liam questioned if he should retort but realized it was a losing battle. With that he got up and left.
Raven looked at the window. She looked at it so long she almost thought she saw his face.
She let out another sigh almost being able to hear his voice.
Who is gonna save you when I'm gone?
Who'll watch over you?
Who will give you strength when you're not strong?
Who'll watch over you when I've gone away?
Snow is on the ground
You long to hear my voice
But I'm long gone
Raven had been sitting in a café for almost an hour now. She was now working on her third cup of tea. She got up and went to use the bathroom. After washing her hands and drying them she went back into the diner finally deciding to go back home.
She walked over to her seat when she saw someone sitting in her seat with their hood up.
"Excuse me but in case you haven't noticed this seat is occupied."
"Oh I'm so sorry, I must not have noticed." He looked up and saw her face. "I guess I'm not thinking clearly. I'm kind of missing someone right now."
He smiled at Raven which she replied with nothing.
Not a single word.
"What's the matter Raven? You look like you've seen a ghost." Garfield was enjoying toying with her. Enjoying being able to get a reaction out of her.
"Beast Boy, what are you doing here?" She let escape her mouth finally.
He stood up and wrapped his arms around her.
"I've missed you too." He motioned for her to take a seat across from him which she did.
"Rae, I think it's time we talked. One on one, no more bull." He said sternly but Raven refused to take it seriously.
"Okay, I guess I'll start. Rae, after we started going on it, was great but after a while I don't know. You kind of just seemed to get colder. Like you were pushing me away more then when I first asked you out. I tried talking to you, and you kind of just brushed it off. I couldn't stay there being in love with you and lose you at the same time. I had to go."
"Beast Boy, I'm sorry you probably don't go by that now. Garfield, you are absolutely right. Which is strange coming from me, but you are. I did push you away and I have to come clean and say it was intentional. I pushed you away hoping you would eventually break up with me. It sounds crazy I know but I was a teenager who has never been in love before. I know that's not an excuse and I don't want to get into a sappy story on how I don't deserve you but inside I know it's true. I know deep inside that somehow I would mess things up and…"
"Wait wait wait a minute. You thought you were going to mess things up? Rae, I'm the king of messing things up! If we were going to break up, most likely it would be my fault."
"I guess we both messed up."
"We messed up royally." Gar laughed. "Rae, what does this means for us?"
"It means that we both made very rushed decisions. And we both regret our decisions; well at least I know I do. And I know I screwed up the first time but we might actually have great chances of making it. That is if you're not too involved with Marris."
"Please Rae, don't make me laugh." He said grinning. Raven returned the smile with one of her own. Beast Boy stood up and picking up Raven's jacket. He helped her into it then paid the check. He escorted her way out whispering into her ear.
"Besides, with me gone, who's gonna watch over you?"
11 pages that I'm actuallyproud of! But worth it if N.O.S. likes it!
Yeah I know you're all thinking that I have some explaining to do. Well at first I went on vacation. Much needed actually. Then I took up a new activity which dominates most of my time. I now don't get home until like 7 or 8. And I'm not good enough yet to write at like 2 o'clock a.m. like most of you awesome writers do!
1. I tried to update all my requests at once which didn't turn out so good I'm sorry to say. But I will update them eventually and I don't mean that as in by the end of the year. I am no longer taking requests but I have written half of each request I've gotten. Now the hard part is writing a good ending for all of them! :D
2. This one was a break from my usual fluffiness which I really liked. I like writing more serious pieces of work which isn't easy seeing as how the show was a kid show.
3. Review or not if you like but they are always encouraging! Well like I always say, Peace, Love and Animals! ;)