I'm Not Gay: A Toboe X Tsume Fanfic

By: Smilingrightnow7

A/N: This is so unbelievably OOC. Sorry guys, that wasn't planned, but hey, what can you do, right? And also, it's probably pretty crappy but, I'll let you be the judge of that.

Warning: Contains yaoi. If you don't like it, don't read it and don't flame it. It's not like I didn't warn you. :]

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Toboe [Tsume would throw a fit if I did] and Tsume would hurt me if I tried to own him. Hige's an idiot and would get me busted if I tried to own him and Kiba is not owned by me either. But they do make an entrance into my story (that I do own the plot of, yay!) that is a figment of my more-than-a-little screwed up imagination(Let that be a warning). Wolf's Rain, however, that I own. I also invented the yo-yo, have met Captain Jack Sparrow, lived on Pluto for a decade, and own a purple polka dotted dinosaur named Buffy who protects me from my very real and very violent imaginary friends. Apparently I don't spend enough time with them. I'd say I do, but they're listening….they're always listening… **looks around nervously**

Alrighty, I suppose I've made you wait long enough...here you go (finally, I know, I'm long-winded. ;) )

R&R Throw me a bone here, I'll feed it to the wolves... ;D

"No." The voice was as hard, sharp, and cold as a steel knife.

"Aw, but Tsume!" The younger of the two whined.

"Absolutely not." Tsume said after turning on his heel to walk away. He kept a carefully blank expression on his face.

Toboe caught up and automatically fell into step with his older companion. Looking up, he waiting for Tsume to acknowledge his presence.

Which he didn't.


Toboe's strong point never was in patience therefore it wasn't a surprise when only a few short moments later he broke the silence. "Come on, what've we really got to lose?" Instantly, Toboe knew he had made a mistake. He winced as Tsume stopped in his tracks standing stock still to finally meet his gaze.

"What have we got to lose?" Tsume said through his teeth, glaring.

Toboe didn't really think that Tsume's reaction was totally justified. Sure, it was different but it wasn't immoral or anything.

"But Tsume, it's only one night and there's free food; I'm hungry." As an afterthought he added, "And it's not like it would have to be real or anything."

Tsume studied his younger companion. He had always known that Toboe was a compulsively friendly if somewhat annoying person. Perhaps that's what made him grow a fondness of him in the first place. But that gave him no right to bring him to a place like this.

"Then go in yourself." Valid point, Tsume thought.

"I can't. It's a couples-only entrance tonight."

"Then go tomorrow."

"Then Hige would find out and make fun of me."

"Hmmm, I wonder why," Tsume said sarcastically, "Maybe it's because, oh, I don't know, you're trying to get into a bar for people who are gay?"

Toboe became defensive, "Hey, there's nothing wrong with that!"

"Oh, really?"


"What about the fact that, hmm, let's see...you're NOT GAY?!" At this point they were both pretty fired up, and were right up in each other's faces.

"How do you know?! Have you ever asked?"

"No-why the hell would I?" Truth was that he hadn't but he did sometimes wonder. And that was something Tsume was not comfortable bringing up at the moment.

"Well, you seem pretty interested now."

"Let me remind you that you're the one who brought me to a gay bar."

"Yeah-for the free food!"

"Well, excuse me for not being able to read your mind correctly when we walk up to Mr. & Mr. Hoise: The Place Where We Don't Judge without any explanation!"

Toboe backed off a step. "So, you'll go in with me?"

"Have you been listening at all?! No, I won't go in with you!"

"But why not?"

"I'm not gay." Tsume said flatly.

"So what? There's food in there and I want some."

"I'm not gay and you're starting to sound like Hige."

"No one would have to find out we went in."

"I'm not gay." Tsume didn't know why Toboe kept pushing this.

"There's nothing wrong with gay people."

Tsume thought that this was getting utterly ridiculous, "For the last time, Toboe, I'm not gay."

"Are you saying that I'd make a bad boyfriend for you?"

Clearly, Tsume was thrown off by that question. So much so that he just stood there taken aback, mouth agape, for what seemed like forever. Then Toboe blushed, rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, and took a step back.

And another.

"Look, fine, whatever. You don't want to go in. It's okay, I get it. You're not gay."

Toboe refused to meet Tsume's eyes as he turned and started to walk back along the path.

Tsume wasn't sure what he should do. He knew he felt bad-really bad-about saying no. He also knew that it was ridiculous to feel bad; he really wasn't gay. He also realized, almost without meaning to, that Toboe would make a great boyfriend; he was just always so happy, carefree, and compassionate and he was kind of adorable in his own Toboe-ish way, with his hair that framed his innocent-looking face and the smile that brightened up anybody's day and his optimism and perseverance and that cute little phrase he always said-'I was getting ready to, all right?'-even though it was clear that he wasn't getting ready nor planning to in the near future. Yeah, Tsume thought smiling faintly, he really would make a great boyfriend. But not for him of course.

"Toboe," Tsume said sighing inwardly, "Wait." Toboe hesitated, probably wanting to run, for a moment but stayed where he was awaiting Tsume's humiliating comments.

When Tsume reached him, Toboe was prepared for the worst. But Tsume didn't say anything, instead he just stood there, not sure of what to say. When Toboe glanced up, he briefly met Tsume's gaze before looking away again. Tsume wanted to see those hazel eyes.

"Look at me." Toboe obeyed.

Tsume felt like he needed to say something, but what could he say? He opened his mouth hoping that something-anything would come out. At that moment he realized that Toboe never did say his preference. And that he never did ask. "So, are you?"

Toboe was confused which made Tsume even more uncomfortable about asking. He was very thankful that he rarely, if ever, blushed. Why had he asked such a stupid question? He didn't care, it wasn't any of his business and it didn't even matter, not really. He didn't explain any further, maybe Toboe would let it go without him needing to clarify. Ha, fat chance.

"What do you mean, Tsume?" Toboe was now staring at him, waiting for his reply.

Not being able to think of a better way to phrase it, Tsume bluntly said "Well, are you gay?" It was Tsume this time that could not hold Toboe's gaze. After a just-long-enough-to-be-awkward moment of silence, Toboe responded.

"Well, I suppose you can't really know if you like or don't like something unless you try it, right?" Toboe paused, seeing if Tsume was going to respond. When he didn't, he continued. "And, I've never been on a date with anyone so I wouldn't really know. Why?"

How much more awkward can this get? thought Tsume. A lot more, actually, as they were about to find out.

Instead of answering a question that he didn't know the answer to, however, Tsume made a split-second decision.

"I'm starving." said Tsume. Toboe didn't get it, as was clearly implied by his bewildered expression. And, instead of explaining, Tsume grabbed Toboe's hand and led him back down the path to the bar.

"Free food, remember?"

"Really?" Toboe couldn't keep the hope out of his voice-or his eyes-as he started to grin.

"Well, it is free food and I am really hungry and we are just pretending and no one will find out, right?"


"Then no harm done." Tsume declared as he put an arm around Toboe's shoulders.

"Um, what are you doing?" a surprised Toboe asked.

"Well, we want to make it believable, right?"

Toboe grinned for a second, "Absolutely." he said and proceeded to put his arm around Tsume's waist.

"We definitely want to make this" Toboe said as he lowered his hand, "believable." and with that last word he squeezed Tsume's butt playfully.

Caught off-guard, Tsumesimply settled for a "I'll let that slide, runt." before continuing towards the entrance wondering where Toboe's newfound confidence came from.

When they got through the door they both groaned inwardly knowing that they would never live this down. Then again, maybe they didn't want to.

"Oooh, we better make this believable…" said Hige loudly.

"Of course," said Kiba equally as loudly, "we definitely have to make it believable. We wouldn't want any of the strangers who don't care to be in doubt."

They were both obviously drunk.

"And of course we're just pretending so I'm going to squeeze your butt like I've been wanting to do for ages." Hige's tone was mocking.

"Ah, yes, that's right! It's all about that free food in here. All of those peanuts make an extremely hearty meal." replied Kiba.

Tsume looked around, and discovered that Kiba was right. The only food he saw were the peanuts in little glass bowls on each table. He looked at Toboe who proceeded to look at his feet and retract his arm, while a very deep shade of red stained his cheeks.

Tsume sensed the emptiness where Toboe's arm previously been. He didn't like the feeling, pointedly taking Toboe's arm and putting it back in its rightful place. He wasn't quite sure of what made him do it, though, he wasn't gay after all.

"Hige, you owe me ten bucks, hand it over." Kibasaid, holding out his hand, palm up, to a very displeased Hige.

"But, Kiba! They haven't actually kissed yet! I don't owe you nothin'."

Maybe it was just to get Hige to lose the bet. Yeah, that must have been it. That's the only reason Tsume tilted Toboe's very, very red face upwards and leaned slightly forward. Exactly why the world melted away as Toboe stood on his toes, hands on Tsume's very defined chest for support. Exactly why Tsume's arms found there way around Toboe's waist, a perfect fit. And exactly why they were kissing. No, it wasn't because they wanted to or because they were meant to be together. No, it wasn't because of those that.

And it definately was not because they were gay.

Oh my gosh! It's finished! 3am and my very first (but hopefully not last) fanfic is COMPLETE! I'm officially not a fanfic virgin anymore *gasp* =O hahaha
I don't care if you flame but only if 1) you truly want to 2) it's not about yaoi and 3) you offer some sort of way to fix whatever it is you're complaining about.
R&R (good, bad, indifferent, I don't care) It would be worshipped and savored and I'm aware I sound desperate but you can review and tell me that if you want. Just say something, anything. =]
Please and thank you!