A/N: I did not intend to write this, but the idea came to me, and it was like, why not? Lol. I hope you guys like it. And yes, I know the title is corny, as well as really… I don't know, lol, but I could not resist.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Harry Potter series, though I've kidnapped baby Cedric until further notice.

Dedications: Dedicated to my friend Amanda, who gave me the idea when I told her Sirius was a great bottom and she asked if that was a good thing. Lol. Thanks sweetie :P

The Bottom Line

Sirius and James are sitting outside by the Black Lakes, waiting for Remus and Peter to get out of their last class, Arithmacy for Remus, Care Of Magical Creature for Peter, so that they can head off to dinner together.

"I can't believe you're the fucking bottom in the relationship Padfoot," James says, remarking on something he had walked in on earlier that day during lunch, before doubling over in laughter as he tries to look at his best friend.

Sirius scolds, stretching to smack the messy haired teen upside the head, only to end up whacking him in the face since he was still doubled over.

"Oww," James whimpers, clutching his nose. "Whuf the fuwk wuf thaf for?"

"Why are you talking like that," Sirius asks, dodging the question as he tries not to laugh and fails miserably.

"You hif my bloofy nowse!" James shouts, trying to glare at his friend. "It hurwts. I cwan't breawth."

Sirius snickers. "If you couldn't breath you wouldn't be able to speak, you fucking wanker. For Merlin's sake, stop being so bloody over dramatic already."

"You'we stwill a fuwking botwom," James mutters, looking pleased with himself.

Sirius shrugs. "Not all the time. We take turns. Sometimes Remus is the bottom, and sometimes I am. It doesn't really matter to me and Remus who bottoms and who tops. I mean, so long as we're together, and we know that it's each other that we are making love to, that it's each other's name that we get to call out when we finally reach completion… You have no idea what that's like Prongs," the sixteen year old says, a small smile curving his beautiful mouth upward.

James scoffs, removing his hand from over his nose and wiggling it slightly to make sure it isn't broken. "You're such a fucking pouf," he states snidely, words now coming out normally.

Sirius shrugs, grey eyes suddenly guarded. "I know I am. I wouldn't be with Moony, be in love with him the way I am, if I wasn't. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Do you?"

James sighs. "I didn't mean it like that Padfoot. I meant, what you said, just now, sounded so… I don't know, girlie. I mean, us guys don't usually say things like that. We're usually too embarrassed to."

"You say things like that all the time to Lily," Sirius says, scolding just a little. "In fact, half the things that leave your mouth when you're around the fiery Miss Evans are much, much poofier."

"Yes, but she's a…"

"Girl," Sirius finishes, a dark look creeping over his face.

"I'm sorry. I should probably shut up now before I say something that would really piss you off." James says. "I'm not trying to. I mean, not seriously, no pun intended."

Sirius laughs just a little. "I know. I guess I'm a bit touché one the subject."

"I still don't get it though," James says, looking at his best mate. "I mean, you're bigger than Remus, more filled out and everything. Why do you bottom? I mean, between guys and girls, the guy tops and the girl bottoms, that's just the way it is, there is no changing it up…"

"Unless the girl has a two-sided dildo," Sirius interrupts, a wicked grin curving his lips.

James shudders. "I don't… Merlin's hairy balls Padfoot, I don't even want to think about that. That's not the point though. What I mean is, if guys and girls don't switch up the role during sex, why do guys and guys do? Why don't you just always top?"

Sirius laughs softly. "Well, for one reason, if I tried to be the only one that ever took control, or if Remus tried to be the one to always take control of me, we wouldn't be equals in our relationship. One of us would always be the dominant one, the superior, and that's not how it works Prongs. Sure, it's ok for guy-slash-girl relationships, because unless the couple is really, really kinky, there isn't any other way, but for guys, they both have dicks, they both have arses, so why not put all those parts to use at one point or another?"

James nods slowly. "Ok, disturbing images now… but I suppose that that makes sense. Is there any other reason? I mean, you said 'one reason…' so there's another right?"

Sirius smiles softly. "It's a bit, well… a bit sappy…"

James laughs. "Oh, I should so go find my quick notes recording quill."

"If you do…" Sirius warns.

James laughs again, louder this time, before falling quiet at his friend's murderous glare. "Ok, I won't. I swear Padfoot. Marauder's honor."

Sirius rolls his eyes. "You once said that Marauders have no honor."

"Well they do when it works in their favor," James says, grinning mischievously.

Sirius rolls his eyes again but can't fight the grin that's forming on his lips. "Bastard."




"Four eyes."

James' eye twitches as he looks at his friend. "What are you Padfoot? Bloody five? For Merlin's sake…"

"Pussy whipped son of a bitch," Sirius interrupts, a smirk spreading across his face.

"I am not pussy whipped," James shouts, only to have every student outside turn to face him with expressions of either shock, amusement, or disgust on their faces since he has spoken so loud.

James blushes as he turns to face his friend again. "You did that on purpose, you bloody bastard."

Sirius grins. "Maybe…"

"Oh fuck," James mutters, slapping his head. "We got way off topic. Tell me the other reason for you being willing to bottom."

It was Sirius' turn to blush. "Fucking perv," he mutters. "Can't get your own sex life so you are prying into mine and Moony's?"

"You know that's not it Padfoot. It's just, you're my best mate, and you're in love, and the person you love loves you back. I've never had that, you know?" James whispers, gazing sadly over to where Lily is sitting with a group of friends.

Sirius' expression softens. "You'll get her someday mate. She'll have to be insane to resist you forever. "

James grins, beck to his cocky self once more. "I know. After all, who has ever been able to resist me?" he asks, continuing on before Sirius can start making a very, very long list. "But anyways, you're in love, and willing to go give up a lot for it. Wait, that's not the right word," James mutters, brows furrowing in concentration.

Sirius just laughs. "I'm not giving up anything, or sacrificing anything. Bottoming for Moony isn't a chore, or a hardship, or something I'm forced into doing. It's something that I want to do, that I actually love to do."

"And now we're back to my original question," James says. "Why do you bottom? What do you like about it? Isn't it painful?"

Sirius groans. "What are you, a bloody reporter?"

James shakes his head. "You've banned me from using my recording quill, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Sirius says, smirking. "I knew I was brilliant."

James groans. "Stop dodging the fucking question and just answer it already."

Sirius sighs. "It's not really something I can explain Prongs. I mean, to be able to trust Remus enough to have him inside of me, to be able to love him enough to just…" Sirius sighs again, closing his grey eyes as he tries to gather his thoughts. "I mean, yes, bottoming is painful at first, but your partner has to be sure to be gentle, and to prepare you, to be patient enough to stretch you properly and passionate enough to do it in a way that can bring you pleasure. That's how Remus is with me. That's how I hope I am with him. It's just… knowing that he loves me enough to put so much effort forth not to hurt me is just incredible, and having him in me, in a place where no one else has ever been or ever will be, it's indescribable Prongs. When he's in me, everything I feel for him comes forth, and in that moment, I can let myself go, you know? I can stop being strong, and brave, and cocky. I can just drop all the shields I have up against the world and be me, and not be afraid that he'll judge me. Having him hot and ha4rd inside of me is just so… fuck, the feeling is fantastic, to know that that is him in me, and that we're one, and to feel him as he moves, I just love it so much. Yes, it may be poofy, and deeming to men, but I do love to bottom, love to know that Remus, shy, bookish Remus can take control and pleasure me so well. And God Jamie, he's so beautiful while he fucks me, all wild and free and passionate. I just…. I love it almost as much as I love him. It's magnificent. That's the bottom line. It doesn't matter if it hurts, or if it's deeming. I love him, and he loves me, and it's one way we have to show this."

James blinks at his best friend, looking at him with wide eyes and mouth agape.

"Prongs…" Sirius asks, looking a tad bit worried.

"Bloody hell," James whispers, shaking his head. "You really do love Moony."

"Of course I do," Sirius says in a voice that says he is shocked and a little bit offended that James ever doubted it.

James grins a bit shamefully. "I almost wish I was gay, haha, just to see what you mean, if what you say was true."

Sirius laughs. "Don't worry Prongsie, I'm sure you'll find something similar to what me and Remus have when you finally nag Evans, even if I doubt your sex life will ever be as magnificent as mine and Moons."

James sputters for a moment and Sirius grins, though he almost jumps out of his skin when a hand falls onto his shoulder.

"Why are you talking about our sex life?"Remus asks, coming over to sit beside his boyfriend.

Sirius grins at the tawny haired boy before pulling him in for a kiss. "No real reason Remy," Sirius whispers, pulling back to nip at the shorter boy's chin. He winks at James over Remus shoulder before turning his full attention back to the werewolf. "But I suddenly have the insane desire to bottom right now. Willing to fill me up with that glorious cock of yours?"

James chuckles loudly and Peter squeaks, but all of that is ignored as Remus' eyes darken from brown to almost black, pupils dilating, as he drags Sirius up and off to the dorms.

They don't eat dinner that night, and James and Peter are forced to sleep in the Common Room.

Sirius and Remus both got to show each other how pleasant being a bottom is though.

A/N: This is about six times longer than I intended it to be, lol. Please review? And hopefully I'll update Terribly Mistake tomorrow or Saturday.

Can I get 15 reviews for this? Please? Haha.