Have I Insulted You?

England and America get into some form of argument.

Sorry about the delay, if any of you were actually anticipating this chapter. . English 10 CP kind of took my confidence and snapped it in half. And also I've been lazy. Veeeerrry, veeerrry lazy. Any of you guys attend Kumoricon 2010?

"Well fine, jerk!" America turned on his heel and prepared to storm away from yet another argument with England when a derisive laugh stopped him.

"'Jerk'? You always use that one. Can't you come up with anything better?"

"Excuuuuuuuse me, asshole."

"That's 'arsehole'!"

"Jerk off!"


"Douche bag."

"Cunt." The argument had become less of an actual argument, and more of an insult contest.

America smiled grimly. "Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me handsome, what the hell happened to you?"

England tossed his head and smirked. "A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you, my friend, can kiss my ass!"

America adopted a look of mock amazement. "God! If you're gonna act like a dick, at least wear a condom on your head so you can look like one."

England softened his glare and in a breathy tone said, "I want you... I need you... to get get out of my face!"

"Yeah well, talking to you is about as appealing as the thought of playing leapfrog with unicorns!"

"That was a low blow! There's nothing wrong with unicorns! I bet they'd make great leapfrog partners!"

"Just because you take it up the ass." America smiled, clearly impressed with his comeback. In response, England snapped his fingers. "Scaryyyy", mocked America. England smiled serenely. Seconds later, America received a unicorn horn in a very sensitive place.

All the insults, from the rhymes onward, I found on the internet.