AN X-MEN FANFICTION
PAIRING: Logan x Remy (Wolverine x Gambit)
BETA: De Ore Leonis – thank you for your great help
GENRE: First Time, Romance, Comicverse
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the boys and I won't make any money with them. Pity. But they'll have probably more fun with me than with those who earn actually money with them.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm from Germany. I did learn some French in my past, but I have to say I never was any good at it. But I'm trying and who knows, perhaps I'll do better one day. So if you see any mistakes: e-mail me. I'll correct them.
SO LIE BACK, DRINK A GLASS OF WINE AND ENJOY
The Benefits of Sharing the Same Sleeping Place
A Djap storyPrologue
It was deep in the night when a lone figure found itself sitting once again at one of the mansion's windows. The man was smoking at the open window and contemplated this very situation that he had repeatedly found himself in during the last few months.
The noises from the next room were driving him insane, but he didn't know what he should do about it. This would be a lot easier if the person next door would just have sex. He would get horny, jerk off, and be done with it. He'd be back to sleep in no time.
But this was different. The person next door was suffering from endless pain and the few emotions the lone figure could feel reaching him through the barrier of the solid wall and over a tormented mind were anything but pleasant.
Something needed to get done, but Remy wasn't sure he was making the right decision. He was kind of attached to his head and his other body parts, so it would be a shame to lose them if things went sour.
But after all these nights he just couldn't stand it anymore. He finished his cigarette, closed the window and went on his way.
Logan was cosy and sleepy. Overall, he felt good. This was a rare occurrence. But what in the nine hells was that goddamn sound right beside his ear? It woke him in an instant although he had been sleeping soundly only a few minutes ago. First it would rise and crescendo, then silence would followed for a few seconds and then afterwards an even more awful heaving sound would ring in Logan's sensitive ears. Where was it coming from? And even more important: What was it?
It sounded like… Logan tried to get his foggy brain to work, but he needed at least ten more minutes to finally place the noise as…
"What the hell?" he yelped and leapt up.
Logan was out of bed so quickly, that he nearly tripped over his own feet. He stared back at his own bed, disbelieving what his own eyes tried to tell him. On said bed laid someone he would never had expected to find there: Remy LeBeau, master thief, Cajun and all in all pain in the ass of One-Eye.
"Stop complainin', Logan! Come back to bed, Cher! Remy's tired."
"Don't you 'Cher' me, Gumbo!"
Logan's claws snicked out without conscious thought. Remy just rolled his eyes at them, sighed and turned around on the large bed. He pulled Logan's comforter over his head while he tried to go back to sleep.
Logan stalked over to the bed where he gripped the sheets and pulled hard.
Remy tried to fight him but he didn't have much success with defending his warm blanket because he was still not fully awake yet. As soon as Logan had managed to wrestle the sheets out of the intruder's capable hands, he released a breath he hadn't known he had been holding.
While Logan used to sleep as naked as the day he was born, at least Remy wore decent sleeping clothes in form of a pair of dark blue cotton shorts and a black tank top. So they had been sleeping there, not… doing something else. Thank the Gods for that. If he suddenly turned gay he at least wanted to remember doing it with another man.
Finally Remy stopped pouting and instead, used his mouth for stating:
"Stop complaining, Cher. It's way too early in the morning for your foul mood."
Remy quickly shielded his sensitive eyes as Logan suddenly switched the light on. Both of them could see each other clear enough in the dark thanks to devil eyes and enhanced senses, but Logan needed some light to understand, what was happening here.
Remy didn't feel the same, so he immediately switched it off again. A sudden fight over the light switch ensued but Logan eventually grew tired of it. Instead of grabbing for the switch he growled a low menacing warning in the direction of one special Cajun.
As direct answer to that Remy turned pouting back to the wall, where he performed a ridiculous imitation of a ball to preserve as much body heat as he could without the benefit of a warm blanket. But Logan wasn't in the mood for a pouting Cajun – he wanted answers:
"Why the hell are ya in my bed, gumbo?"
Logan all but shouted while he buried his claws in the nearest available surface. Sadly that was the exact moment in which his battered wardrobe decided that it had been pierced once too often. It gave up its outward appearance and crumbled in on itself. The crash was so loud it surely woke the whole mansion, but it was especially bad on Logan's sensitive ears and on his already damaged, and therefore short-lived, patience.
Remy was in a really bad mood too because he had never been a morning person. So he started yelling, even before Logan, although the stocky Canadian was quick to follow:
"Come back to bed and sleep! Remy had a really bad night and he needs 'is beauty sleep. It's in de middle of de night!"
"You still ain't answered the question, gumbo." Logan was back to growling in warning again: "I don't know why I should let you sleep here. That's my fucking mattress, which I won't share with ya! Only over my dead body! Or better yet: only over yer dead body!"
"Oh, come on, get over yourself, Wolverine! You've already shared your bed with me! A couple more hours won't hurt anybody."
"Just give me one reason why I should!"
Both men were standing now, eye to eye and nose to nose, only a few inches apart and both breathing hard from all the shouting. But after the last sentence Remy suddenly looked away, seemingly shy, before he mumbled quietly:
"I'm not sure you'll like the answer, Mon ami."
Patience and reluctance never agreed with Wolverine in his shouting mood: "Just fucking tell me already!"
Remy sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the bed, burying his head in his hands. The simple gesture touched a softer, seldom shown side in Logan. But Remy looked really tired and lost sitting there on the edge of the bed. His features betrayed no trace of the usual pokerfaced Remy, which the Cajun usually showed the rest of the world.
That alone intrigued Logan enough that he actually tried to calm down. He willed his claws back to their rightful place and sat beside the other man on the bed.
"Just do it, Cajun! I'm starting ta feel real nervous about all this. For a moment there I really thought…" suddenly embarrassed, his cheeks started to pink around his nose as he couldn't finish the sentence.
Remy looked surprised and curious, needing a few minutes to grasp the full meaning of what Logan was trying to imply. Then the Cajun suddenly started chuckling: "You really thought Remy and you did the vertical tango? Mais Cher, Remy never knew you swung that way…"
"That's because I don't!" Logan growled.
"What a shame. You sure would get enough attention from de men, with all dat strength and all dis testosterone pouring out of you…"
Logan eyed him warily: "You trying to sweet talk me and drag me off to have your wicked ways with me?" This time it was Logan who chuckled relaxed. He liked the Cajun and knew he was only joking. Even if he wasn't with Rogue anymore and even if he flirted with both genders, he was always with a woman at the end of the day. He could regularly smell them on him, nearly every night, whenever the Cajun had the time to go out.
Remy chuckled along with him before they finally quieted down again. As the silence stretched Logan repeated his question:
"So what are ya doin' here, Cajun?"
Remy seemed still reluctant to answer, but eventually gave in. When he spoke, he uttered nothing but the truth. Logan could smell it.
"You were driving Remy crazy, Cher. All dees nightmares, all dis yelling around at night. Remy already sleeps badly enough, he doesn't need you keeping him awake too."
Logan felt bad in the wake of that particular piece of information. He was so used to his regular nightmares that he wasn't even aware of the trouble they could cause other people. He had been sleeping alone for years.
On top of that, he had never thought about his new neighbour and the fact that thieves probably needed to sleep lightly.
Back when Remy had returned from Antarctica, he had gotten a new room right beside Logan. That was One-Eye's doing because he had wanted to make life easier for Remy. Logan always told everyone what he really thought about them and he never condemned Remy for his sins. Every human being had the right to make mistakes and he wasn't the right person to judge others. How convincing could he be when he knew so little of his own past?
So Logan treated Remy always like nothing bad had happened and most other X-Men and some of their pupils handled the situation the same way. Even Rogue made an effort to appear civil, but Cyke still thought that it might be better to place them on different floors. Even Chuck had approved of that decision so when Remy didn't challenge the idea he swapped his rooms with Bobby.
But while deciding Remy's place, they had forgotten why Bobby had initially occupied the room: He slept like the dead and never woke up when Logan started yelling during his nightmares.
"I'm sorry, gumbo. We'll find ya another room."
Apologies were seldom uttered by Wolverine, but when he spoke them, he meant them sincerely. Remy seemed to understand that, so he just shook his head before adding:
"Non, Mon ami. It's okay. Remy doesn't want another room because he likes de one beside yours. He feels safe there. Besides, Remy knows how it feels to suffer nightmares. Remy has had his own share in his life. So Remy thought…"
Remy looked unsure, but Logan urged him to continue and tried to not look quite as intimidating as usual.
"So I thought, perhaps…" Logan noted the change from third person to first and understood how difficult it was to explain for the usually pokerfaced Cajun. That was the reason why he silently vowed not to judge the slightly younger man for whatever he said.
"Every time I have a nightmare, I can't go back to sleep, as long as I'm alone. I'm too…" Remy stopped again to look up and into Logan's eyes when he admitted: "I'm too scared to get back to sleep alone."
Remy looked away, before continuing his explanation: "That's why I go out so often. The sex relaxes me, so I can go on with my life. But I won't find sleep there either. I used to sleep soundly, when I trusted the person sleeping beside me. So I decided to give it a try. I just thought it might help you too." Remy tried to lessen the meaning by shrugging with indifference, but Logan could see how serious the man really was.
Logan felt oddly touched by those words. He had never thought to see the day when Remy LeBeau openly admitted trusting anybody. Let alone admit to trusting Wolverine of all people. Yes, of course the other X-Men trusted him too – but this was something more. Trusting him not to hurt him when he wasn't in his right mind might even be a death wish.
"I could have seriously hurt you while having one of these nightmares, Remy. I ain't used to sleeping with another person near. It has happened before and will most definitely happen again."
Logan tried to be reasonable, but he failed, when Remy suddenly started grinning: "Remy doesn't think so, Cher. Remy came over about 2 o'clock. You slept like a baby as soon as he lay down beside you."
Logan snorted. "And you are judging this by what? Five minutes?"
Remy chuckled again: "Just look at de clock, Cher!"
With that the Cajun grabbed for the sheets, which were still lying on the floor. He pulled them over himself, lay down and waited for Logan to see reason.
But Wolverine was dumbstruck. The clock in his room showed 6 in the morning and he just couldn't believe it. He NEVER slept this long. The latest he woke was usually around 4 a.m., when his nightly nightmares grew too heavy, even for him. He couldn't even remember when he had slept for more than four hours straight.
"Close your mouth, Cher. It makes you look very stupid."
"No buts, Cher. Come back to bed! Breakfast is at seven t'irty and Remy wants at least one more hour of sleep. "
Remy just looked at him and patiently patted the mattress beside him.
"Come on, dis is de first time in four weeks dat Remy has slept more dan four hours straight too. Let's enjoy it as long as it works for us. Or are you afraid of dis innocent Cajun?"
"I ain't afraid of anything. And yer anything but innocent!"
"Come over here, Mon ami. I won't bite… much."
Logan clearly wanted to argue, but then he just let it go. Instead he sighed, went over and lay down awkwardly beside his new bed companion, leaving as much space between them as he could without falling out of the bed again.
For a few minutes they just laid there, Logan barely breathing. He felt really strange and uncomfortable and didn't know where to put himself. He heard Remy sigh beside him and even without looking to check, he knew, that the Cajun was looking at him.
"Relax Cher. Nothing's gonna hurt you. It's just old me."
"It's difficult gumbo. I feel silly lying here wide awake with you beside me."
Remy sighed again, then he finally stood up.
"You are right, Cher. It was a stupid idea of Remy. He'll go now, because he is already wide awake, too. So why shouldn't he start his day now? He is behind with his danger room schedule anyway. This is as good a day to change that as any."
Logan really wanted to stop Remy from leaving, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to. Instead he listened to the door falling shut and contemplated exactly how he had gotten into this mess.
The church bells chimed 1 o'clock when Logan found himself once again screaming loudly after his latest nightmare. He instantly felt bad about it and cursed his new knowledge. He wasn't mad about the nightmare itself, but he knew now that he was keeping Remy awake with his screams.
Stupid Cajun. Why did he have to tell him he felt safe in the room beside his instead of just taking another room? Why did he have to make things so complicated?
But he couldn't really blame Remy. His own traitorous body was telling him that it felt more relaxed than it had in years. How could just four hours sleep without any disturbance give you so much energy? Suddenly he felt very old. Had he really lived that long in pain and agony that he'd become accustomed to it? Well, even when his mind was wary, his body remembered just fine how good it felt to sleep beside someone else.
Consequently he was in a strange state of mind all day. Neither the pupils nor Bobby's latest prank could anger him. Instead he just put on his scariest grin, were he showed his fangs, and watched the boy squirm under his scrutiny. He told him calmly that he'd get him back for transforming his favourite training gi into a pink mess. This time, Bobby felt genuine fear – Logan had smelled it. If Logan had ranted and threatened him in the usual way, the prankster wouldn't have been so scared. So score one to Logan.
But now that he was lying alone in bed again, he didn't feel so good anymore. He knew that unconsciously he was waiting for Remy to come to him again. But consciously he knew the Cajun wouldn't, at least not after the awkward scene he'd made this morning. What had seemed stupid and weird this morning suddenly wasn't anymore in the darkness. His eyesight was keen and the dark had saved his life more often than he could recall. But he still hated to be alone in it.
Damn, now he was wide awake. All this thinking so late at night wasn't doing him any good. What he did need now was a chance to work out a little. That would clear his mind again and he would be able to get at least one more hour of sleep as long as he got himself tired enough with his workout.
So he rose from the bed and put on his second favourite black gi, before he left his room in search of the danger room. Everything would have been alright, if he didn't have to pass Remy's door on the way to the danger room. He smelled the cigarette right away and he acted on an impulse before he could stop himself.
He opened the door to Remy's room while grinning broadly and asked:
"Are ya tryin' ta get killed, gumbo? If Blue finds ya smokin' in here he'll lecture ya ta death!"
But Logan didn't get the chuckle he had bargained for. Remy had seated himself right at the opened window wearing the same sleeping attire as the day before. He didn't even look at Logan and instead kept staring at the stars outside the window.
Logan felt stupid standing there, but although he wanted to, he couldn't just leave the other man without another word. It was apparent that Remy was in a strange mood, and Logan just couldn't leave. He closed the door behind him and went over to the opened window. He grabbed for Remy's cigarettes, lit one and inhaled deeply.
For a while they stood there at the window, silently smoking and looking at the stars. Logan felt strangely at ease standing beside the younger man, just saying nothing. So he needed a moment to answer, when Remy finally broke the silence.
"What are dey about, when you have them?"
For a moment Logan felt torn between leaving or playing stupid and misunderstanding the question. But when he checked Remy's eyes he didn't do either of those things. Instead he answered honestly.
"Mostly it's about getting the adamantium. About the pain and about being caged. But…"
"But what?" Remy was so serene, it was impossible not to answer, although Logan usually never talked about that special part of his nightmares. Talking about his time as Weapon X was easy by now, talking about this was not.
"Worst are when I loose myself to the animal."
He wanted to tell Remy about its thirst for blood, its wish to kill. About how much it sometimes costs to stay human. But then he realized he probably didn't need to say it after all. He saw Remy's compassion right in his eyes. So instead he just answered with a question of his own:
Remy looked bitter but he answered the truth: "I used to dream about my childhood, which hasn't been that great. But now…"
"Now?" Logan urged him on, as Remy had done for him just moments before.
"Now it's just about de ice."
Logan grunted, meaning that he already figured that much. A slight grin stole across Remy's lips before he shrugged:
"I always 'ated de snow and de winter. It's worse now."
"I can imagine, bub." And that was that.
Another silence followed while they enjoyed the rest of their cigarettes, before Logan finally offered: "I didn't want ta make you feel bad about it."
So they were talking about that morning again, although earlier that day, both had made an effort not to.
"Just forget about it, Cher. It's not important."
Logan knew that Remy meant it and desperately wanted it to be that way, but somehow it had become important.
To both of them.
"It is, Remy. We could try again, if ya want?"
"You don't 'ave to, Cher. It was a stupid idea, Remy understands."
Logan felt slightly miffed at the change of person in Remy's speech. This meant Remy was putting his old mask back on and hiding behind it. Logan should have liked that, but somehow he didn't. He'd liked the unmasked Remy LeBeau better.
"Stop being a pain in the ass, gumbo. I want some shuteye, and my body decided it wants you near by. And you want the same – I can smell it. So where's the problem? Do ya really want ta challenge me in this?"
For a very long time Remy seemed unsure, but then, he suddenly grinned: "Your place or mine?"
"I don't see why we shouldn't crash here. It's as good as anywhere else, Cajun."
And with that Logan went over to the bed and after stripping down to his boxers, buried himself under the sheets. Then he lifted one edge and held it up so that Remy could climb in beside him. Remy hesitated for about three seconds before following Logan on nothing but instinct. Logan quickly understood why, Remy was freezing – in a real hot and humid summer night. Only then did he realise that Remy hadn't been woken by all his yelling, but instead by one of his own nightmares.
Suddenly it didn't feel so weird anymore. To him, this wasn't solely about his problems anymore, but about the Cajun's too. It made it easier for Logan to accept this new development. He didn't like showing his own weaknesses, but protecting people he cared for, he could do that easily.
He silently watched Remy trying to find a comfortable position beside him in the small bed without actually touching him, before he finally spoke up.
"Will ya stop making a fuss, gumbo? I can hear your teeth chattering from the cold. Come over here and let yourself get warmed up!"
But now Remy sounded genuinely pissed: "I'll do fine without your nicely offered help, thank you very much, homme."
Logan wanted to argue, but didn't in the end. It seemed that Gambit didn't like showing his weaknesses either. Well, no surprise there. So instead of arguing about it, he made himself comfortable and tried to get some more sleep.
He had more success than he would have ever believed.
Logan still felt disorientated, when the insolent snoring woke him once again the next morning at about seven o'clock. But he felt warm and content and oddly safe. So he had bedded someone, nothing new there. It happened from time to time. He just hoped he hadn't unconsciously hurt her in any way. He must have been pretty wiped out last night because usually he wasn't so stupid to actually fall asleep with his one-night-stands.
But that wasn't the only strange thing. The snore was pretty heavy for a woman. He was also sleeping on his stomach, draped over her - something he rarely did. He never went for women who were taller than himself because the animal in him didn't like that very much. But he was in fact the short one in this position. So why was he the one lying on top of her and why wasn't she complaining loudly about his weight yet? Women always tended to complain about his heavy bones.
He nuzzled his face into her neck contentedly while contemplating all this and suddenly encountered a thin beard. He was just about to jump out of bed again when everything that had happened the last two days came back to him. He forced himself to relax again and only then became aware that the snoring had stopped too.
He heard Remy sigh and murmur:
"So you're not freaking on me this morning, Cher?"
Logan snorted while still nuzzling the neck in front of his face. "No. You?"
Remy sounded amused: "Why should Remy freak out?"
"'Cause I'm pretty heavy and I'm a dangerous and growling animal!" Logan joked relaxing into the warmth of another body right under him.
"Oh Remy doesn't know. The growl sounds more like a purr at the moment. Besides, you're not that heavy, Mon ami. Remy doesn't break that easily."
"I! NEVER! PURR!" Logan tried to sound indignant about it, but failed. He felt way too good after that much sleep. Remy just chuckled again.
They stayed in bed for another half an hour, dozing on and off in the same position. Not even the animal inside Wolverine could argue against such a 'female' position when it felt that good and relaxed. But like all good things, it had to end at some point.
"We do have to get up, Mon ami. The children will be up in no time, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to start any rumours about us suddenly becoming gay. We should probably try to get you back to your room wit'out anyone noticing."
Even Logan had to admit that this made sense and he was thankful that Remy had thought that far ahead. His brain wasn't functioning as efficient as it usually did and somehow that made him happy. When was the last time he had been so completely relaxed? He decided to share his musings with the other occupant of the bed while they reluctantly disentangled and tried to get up.
"I think this is one of the best ideas you've ever had, Cajun."
Remy looked surprised, but pleased. "Really, Cher?"
"Does that mean…?"
"Tonight: Same place, same time, gumbo. No, wait, we'll take my bed instead. Thanks to my bones Xavier got me a slightly bigger bed."
"Sounds terrific to Remy, Cher."
The first nights it was still awkward going to bed together. They'd painstakingly avoided touching each other before going to sleep, but they always ended up the same way when they woke: entwined legs, one draped over the other (usually the heavier bulk of the Canadian over the tall form of the Cajun) and touching in as many places as their bodies could manage without actually crawling into each other.
There were different reasons why they ended up that way: Mostly it was because Remy was a blanket thief and although Logan never actually grew cold, it irritated him. He liked to feel the blanket over him: it gave him a strange sense of security, so he usually had to fight Remy's sleeping form for it.
During other nights, one of them would wake after a nightmare. After that one night they had never talked about nightmares again, but instead just curled into each other and quieting down and before going back to sleep.
But it was Remy's weakness which finally stopped their pointless avoidance routine. As much as Remy obviously hated it when Logan saw him sp weak and cold, Logan finally couldn't take the macho shit any more. Thankfully he didn't need much to convince Remy to jump over his own shadow and let himself get warmed up right from the beginning.
Both knew that Logan was half lying as he stated, "come on, I'm Canadian. I'm used to feeling warm here, unlike you little swamp rat. So get yer ass over here!" It was still summer and Remy's state had nothing to do with the weather or his birthplace. But his pretence did the trick and finally they went to bed the same way, as they would wake up in the mornings.
"Remy never figured you for someone to cuddle, Mon ami," Remy purred when he awoke the next morning.
He felt a warm hand stroking his hair and head and another one drawing circles on his back. He was half lying on his bed partner and knew perfectly well, that he was playing with fire with that comment.
The answering growl was a warning, but not a menacing one, since the hands never stopped their work. Remy enjoyed the ministrations for a while until he felt his partner, who had been half asleep while petting him, slowly surfaced. Suddenly the hands stopped as the words, which Remy had spoken, finally registered. Logan went tense and finally asked, "did it bother ya? I wasn't…"
Remy purred again. "Non, keep going. Remy's a sensual creature and craves de touch. You're very welcome."
He tentatively lifted his right and answered the cautiously returning touches with some of his own, wherever he could reach Logan without having to move his own body from the welcoming heat of Logan's body. First he stroked over the stubble on Logan's chin, than softly over the man's Adams apple before exploring the thickly muscled neck.
This time Logan answered with a purr of his own and relaxed again, just enjoying the light touches and slowly drifting back to another intended nap.
"You feel pretty good to me, Mon ami. I just never t'ought you'd be comfortable enough around me to actually cuddle with me. I mean we don't even have sex…"
Logan snorted. "What did ya expect Cajun? Heightened, senses, right? Yer smell's all around me, all around this room since you started sleeping here. Of course I'll get comfortable around you – I'll trust you enough to let ya sleep here after all. Besides… of course I like to cuddle. And if you ever tell anybody, that this special word is even in my vocabulary, I'll kill you in a very painful way…"
Remy chuckled and hurried to reassure the other man. "Dere's nothing to fear, Mon ami. If I ever would tell anybody, I would also have to explain exactly how I knew dat particular piece of information…"
Now Logan chuckled along with him. "Good point." Then he added more seriously, "actually this is about my senses too. Every human being craves contact, even those who stupidly state they don't. But to me, touches feel even more important and good. There's always so much pain in my body when I fight, there are so many people who want to hurt me. So when I get the chance to feel something good, I usually take it – no matter what."
"That makes sense. I just didn't t'ink it t'rough before. So feel free to use me as your personal cuddle pillow whenever you feel like it, Mon ami."
Logan looked at the other man with suspicion in his eyes, but then just shrugged and made motions to stand up and leave the bed.
"I'll take yer word for it, gumbo. Now let's get this day started!"
"No. No way in hell, gumbo!"
"Ya reek like sex on legs. Where did ya go?"
"Well, ya won't get in this bed. That much 's for sure."
"How many women did ya sleep with this night?"
"Just one. Why?"
Logan growled a warning.
"Stop lying gumbo, I smell the truth."
Remy sighed ad looked irritated. "Where's de problem, Mon ami? It's none of your business who I sleep with."
"Yeah, I don't actually give a shit about it, but I still won't let ya in this bed as long as ya reek like a whole whore house."
Remy looked unsure before asking quietly:
"Does it really smell so bad to you?"
He sniffed his trench coat unconsciously but couldn't smell anything beside the usual.
"It doesn't smell bad, but it's bound to get me horny all night. I'm just a man – how did ya think how I'd react to the smell of pure sex on you?"
Remy smiled fondly at the other man. "Remy t'ought for a second, you wouldn't want him in your bed anymore."
Logan snorted. "Of course you can sleep here – but only after a long, hot shower with lots of shower gel. Now get ta work, I have classes ta teach tomorrow and a job for Chuck waiting for me. So have you."
Remy nodded and quickly left for the bathroom.
The changes in their relationship hit Logan full force one Sunday morning at breakfast. He had just brought some bread over from the kitchen, buttered it, and put it wordlessly on Remy's plate without another thought. Remy just answered equally unthinkingly with some slices of apple he had been cutting and put them right beside Logan's plate. Nothing new there, they had been doing similar things for nearly every day since they had taken seats right beside each other at the breakfast table.
Suddenly Rogue went mental, cursed loudly, and left the room still muttering to herself.
Remy followed her with his gaze but didn't say anything. He just went back to his breakfast and munched away on his apple slices. But Logan's mood was so good and relaxed, that for once he wanted to know what had gotten on her nerves.
At first nobody wanted to answer until finally Storm spoke up.
"Are you and my brother pursuing a relationship?"
To Logan this had come out of the blue, but Remy's stance showed him that he must have been expecting this question for quite some time. But he didn't move to say anything, so Logan answered harshly:
"What makes ya think so, 'Ro?"
Ororo's features clearly showed not only concern for Remy but annoyance about his evasive answer.
"Some of us saw Remy coming out of your room quite early in the morning, when he would usually be asleep. Did you really think we would not notice how often you are in each other's personal space? Just look at you!"
And look he did. His face went white as he actually saw what she meant. They were practically sitting in each other's lap. And he hadn't even been aware of it! He needed to think about this, alone.
He felt Remy's eyes on him and he was sure that Remy could feel his growing distress about this new situation. Logan somehow watched in slow motion as Remy made motions to explain that they weren't having a relationship. Then something in Logan suddenly snapped:
"It's none of your business what Remy and I do or don't." And because he was feeling in a defensive mood he added aggressively: "Or do you have a problem with two guys together?"
Now Ororo was equally angry as she answered sternly: "Of course not, Logan. You should know me that well. I only wondered why you two didn't tell us about your relationship. We're all friends here – or at least I thought so. We would be happy for you."
Logan tried to get a grip on himself and finally calmed down: "Of course we're friends. I still need some fresh air. I'll be outside in the woods if I'm needed for a mission."
It wasn't fair to leave Remy to deal with this, but when he looked at Remy's eyes he could see understanding.
So he stood and left the breakfast table to blow off some steam.
Logan stayed in the woods for the rest of the day, where he chopped wood, hunted and went for a run. He didn't feel up to another discussion about this yet, so he had stayed hidden. He wanted to come to terms with his own feelings before he had to defend himself again. When he finally did come back to his room, he found Remy lying in his bed and it was already late. The Cajun was reading a book and had obviously been doing so for quite some time.
So Logan hadn't been the only one who had been in hiding.
That was Interesting.
The thought made him secretly smile as he asked gruffly:
"Did ya explain the situation after I left, Cajun?"
"Ya didn't?" Logan thought that he would feel annoyed at that admission, but surprisingly he didn't. Instead he just inquired curiously "Why not?"
"Because it keeps Rogue off my back."
Logan didn't know what to say to that, so he kept quiet for a moment which prompted Remy to add:
"Are you angry at Remy?"
Logan shook his head, while he disrobed. "No. Just surprised. I didn't know she wanted you back."
"It started three or four weeks after I got back."
"But ya don't want her back?"
Remy sighed. "Oh, I do, Cher, but it wouldn't do us any good."
Logan grunted his approval at that answer while he finished his task and finally made himself comfortable beside the Cajun.
"You're really not angry, Cher?"
"You sound as if ya wish me ta be angry, gumbo." Logan finally grumbled, irritated, while draping himself over the lean form of Remy's body.
"I just thought… je sais pas… it would make you uncomfortable, if they thought you to be gay. I do know that you're no bigot, Mon ami, but I thought it would be something else when it concerned you. It's easier to do something like dis in de dark dan to stand for it when it's in front of other people. Especially if it's as innocent as dis."
Logan didn't correct Remy even though he thought differently now. While hunting out in the woods he had finally admitted to himself that something was happening between them. He had needed time to get his head around it, but it didn't bother him anymore. Now he and his inner animal where curious about where this would lead them. By now he was pretty sure wherever they'd go it wouldn't stay as innocent as it had been so far.
Instead of correcting him he just shrugged and answered: "Was surprised myself. But what's about ya? They'll think the same about you. Not everyone's like Rogue. Ya might want to try bedding one of them in the future, won't ya?"
Remy snorted while wriggling himself under the heavy bulk of Logan until he found a position to his liking: "This Cajun doesn't give a shit for the opinion of most of them. Not after the ice."
Logan could understand that perfectly well. He nodded and silently urged Remy to explain further, absently stroking down the Cajun's arms, as if to sooth an animal. His partner was quiet for a moment before he suddenly grinned his patented Gambit grin:
"And if it were true, I wouldn't mind them all knowing either, because my real friends would just be happy that I've caught such a good lay."
Logan felt oddly touched by the easy admission, even if it had been meant as half a joke. Still he could smell the underlying truth, so he answered gruffly:
"Now sleep, Cajun. The Wolverine's tired."
But Remy wasn't quite finished yet: "You been hunting, Mon ami?"
"Already ate it."
"Well, Mon ami. Then it's time for all good little Wolverines to brush their teeth."
Logan groaned in annoyance but he knew arguing wouldn't get him anywhere. If he could make the Cajun shower in the middle of the night because of his latest bed acrobatics, he had the right to make him brush his teeth.
So he stood, not liking it, but doing it anyway and made his way over to the bathroom.
"I'll get ya back for that, gumbo!" he grumbled.
A chuckle answered him: "Remy'll be waiting for it, Wolverine."
It was another day during the weekend with not much to do. They didn't have any special missions, they had already eaten lunch and it was still too early to go for a beer and a round of pool at Harry's. So Remy was bored to tears and absolutely restless.
He had already been working on his bike, on Logan's beloved jeep and had even been as restless as to assist Ororo at the green house. Even Jubilee, who always adored Remy, was growing annoyed at him.
Not even their fearless leader Cyke's attempt at poker had managed to calm Remy down and all of them were slowly loosing their patience with him.
Suddenly Logan felt that familiar tugging at the back of his mind that was Xavier asking if he could talk to him mentally. Not liking it, but still letting the professor form the link he heard him actually growl:
"Would you please take him to bed? He's driving everyone mad around here. Hopefully a few hours of sleep will manage to relax him."
Logan chuckled at the Xavier's desperate and unusually annoyed tone and so he didn't even challenge him on his knowledge. With Xavier's abilities it just wasn't possible to pretend. Besides, he knew that Xavier knew about their new sleeping arrangement, because one night when he'd called the X-Men for a rescue mission, he hadn't bothered to form an extra link to Remy's mind. He just told Logan to fill the other man in.
Logan sent a mental yes at the professor, followed by a 'But you'll owe me!' before the connection broke and he focused his attention on the Cajun, who was currently nagging Jean about what she would cook for dinner.
"I think I need some shuteye, bub. And so do you!"
Everyone suddenly grew interested in the prospect of a fight that would surly follow such a command. But to the other X-Men's utter surprise Remy looked angry and ready to argue for about 6 seconds short, before he somehow deflated and just nodded.
All of a sudden he looked tired, and his mask came off. Something was obviously bothering the young Cajun, but Logan knew he wouldn't talk with anybody about it when asked. Not to Xavier, not to 'Ro and certainly not to him. They just had to wait until Remy would talk about it on his own.
"Remy t'inks, dat a good idea, Cher"
With that he left the room and silently made his way upstairs. Logan felt the questioning stares and the knowing looks of some of them, but he couldn't care less about it. Remy needed him now – if not to speak about the problem – then at least to get some sleep.
They could think whatever they wanted about his relationship, it didn't bother him. It was really none of their business, like he'd stated at breakfast, not long ago. What mattered was Remy, who was waiting for him so he could get some decent sleep.
So he made his way upstairs without another word and got some shuteye, although Logan had to admit it felt slightly weird to do it in the bright daylight. But he found that he still didn't give a shit.
The next Friday morning Logan awoke with a serious morning wood poking him in the hip. For a moment he wondered, why it had taken so long for something like this to happen. After all, they were two grown, healthy man who woke every morning plastered against another warm and pleasant body.
He probably should have felt grossed out, but he couldn't bring himself to actually care. In some matters he was probably beyond feeling weirded out by now. So instead he felt playful and started stretching under his bed partner knowing it would wake him. As soon as he felt the first flutter of eyelids he teased:
"That for me, gumbo?"
Remy just snorted sleepily: "This Cajun has to take a leak."
When Remy had finally wrestled himself out of Logan's grip and the sheets he padded over to the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door. Logan stayed in bed, waiting for the Cajun to finish so that he could get his day started too. While waiting he listened to Remy's morning rituals, like he'd done for more days than he could care to count.
Logan realized for the first time how much Remy had changed his habits over the course of the last weeks. As opposed to Logan, Remy had never been a morning person, but he never complained about having to leave so early. He had just accepted it as part of the bargain for being allowed to sleep at the feral's side.
Suddenly Logan had another thought, which made him feel uncomfortable. Remy wasn't the only one who profited out of their arrangement. It did wonders for him too. So it somehow didn't seem fair to him, that Remy was the only one who had to make amendments.
Thinking also about the confrontation they'd had before with the other X-Men about their growing relationship he suddenly said:
"You do know that you don't have to leave so early every morning, right? I know you'd like to sleep in and I meant what I said. If they want to believe that we're fucking they can for all that I care."
Remy padded, still bare foot back into the room smearing shaving cream all over his face before he stated:
"Non, Mon ami. I don't want to. I know you don't like to sleep in and waste precious daylight."
Logan tried again: "I don't mind you staying in bed when I'm already up. You should know that by now."
To his surprise an already clean shaved and now tooth brushing Remy entered again before he answered:
"Remy doubts he would get a good rest without you sleeping beside him. So no sleeping in anymore for this Cajun. Besides… Remy likes having his breakfast with you, Cher."
That last, seemingly thoughtless comment from the other man made Logan feel good and warm all over. But he didn't know yet what exactly to do about that, so he ignored it and just started with his own morning rituals for the day.
"Ya gotta pee again, Cajun?"
Another weekend, another Sunday morning and again morning wood poking Logan's hip. It felt like déjà vu and Logan had an epiphany, he wasn't the slightest bit grossed out. Although he hadn't ever woken up in this situation before - at least as far as he could remember - he suddenly understood that it should have grossed him out big time. But it didn't and it hadn't that time before either.
Logan felt the responding chuckle of Remy, while he still lay nestled under his chin.
"Remy might have misunderstood his body the last time, Cher. It looks, like he should make another visit to the nightclubs."
Logan's inner animal didn't like that last comment one bit. The Canadian growled inwardly at the possessiveness he could feel growing in himself. He couldn't stand the thought of the Cajun with some faceless woman. He tried to fight it, but he couldn't. When Logan fell, he did it the hard way. No half measures in his life.
Logan somehow knew that it was now or never to finally start this. The fear of loosing this friendship was slowly swallowed by his immense feelings of jealousy. Logan knew he couldn't stand to end up in the same situation as Jean and One-eye in the past. There was only so much one man could take. Either this would begin now and work out, or he would have to leave.
Still he knew that he needed to do it slowly if he wanted to ensure that he did not drive the Cajun away. Slow wasn't easy for him, but if it was what he had to do to get what he wanted, he would do it. So when he felt the yawning Cajun rise, he growled, feigning sleepiness.
"Stay put, Cajun. It's Sunday, meaning no classes to teach today and I don't wanna be up yet."
When Remy tried to challenge this, his words suddenly got stuck in his throat as he felt a probing hand at his neither regions. He was used to Logan petting him in the morning, but it had always been chaste touches so far. This was far beyond chaste and Remy's body went rigid at the new and unexpected feeling.
Logan could smell Remy's irritation and disorientation but he didn't stop his ministrations. Still feigning half-sleep he purred and started massaging Remy's erection through the thin cotton shorts.
"What…?" Remy sounded really distressed now and tried again to stand up.
For a moment Logan considered that he might have pushed his luck too far. He stilled his hands, but stopped the Cajun's attempts to stand up, by grabbing him around his waist with both arms. His inner animal wanted to roll them over, so that he could pin the other man to the mattress. But his human side knew better and instead he fastened his mouth against Remy's throat.
He knew how very sensitive Remy was there and he had to suppress a triumphant chuckle, as the Cajun immediately hissed in pleasure at the slightest touch of his tongue there. A second moan followed quickly, but Remy was still resisting.
"You sure Cher? Remy doesn't want you to freak when you finally wake up for real."
"Yer actually arguing against getting jerked off? Where is Remy and what did ya do ta him?" Logan joked. He had judged Remy's mood correctly and he felt relief at his companion's answering chuckle.
"Remy doesn't contradict, Cher, just wants to reciprocate. So, may he touch you too?"
"Silly question." Logan pushed his already straining erection against the Cajuns hip, which made him chuckle again.
"Seems so." Remy's rigid posture finally relaxed as he rolled off Logan's body. The Canadian grunted in protest, but Remy shushed him quickly: "Non, dis be better, Mon ami. More freedom for both our fists, you see?"
Hell, Logan did see alright. Remy had clever thief fingers. That much was for sure. They made short work of his shorts by pushing them down as far as was needed.
Logan moaned softly as his erection sprang free from its confinements and impatiently did the same to the Cajun's shorts. For a short moment he felt silly lying there like impatient teenagers with their shorts pushed just to their kneecaps. But Logan stopped thinking coherently right afterwards, when Remy's clever fingers closed around his trembling dick.
Gods this felt good. And that went for everything, not just for his overly happy dick. Logan was warm, he was surrounded by the smell of his partner, he was cosy and he was getting jerked off in the most expert way ever. His last functioning brain cells wondered how Remy could be so good at this, but they filed the question away for later considerations. This was definitely not the time for this kind of questions.
Words were overrated anyway – this was raw and animalistic and perfect. Guys just being guys.
Remy's right fist established a slow, steady rhythm, while his left tugged softly on Logan's balls and played with his pubic hair. His grip was upside down; like one would grip a joystick and his fist didn't only do an up and down motion but a slightly twisted one too. That way not only the main vene got extra stimulation but the head of his dick good an extra massage too. Adding to that was that the grip was perfect too: just hard enough to please the animal but not rough enough to bring the human off too quickly.
Logan moaned steadily now, not being ashamed of the sounds he made. He never had been, so why should he start now? It was probably only because of his inner animal that he actually managed to grip for the Cajun's cock to reciprocate. It was already drooling in anticipation of things to come and left a wet trace on the inside of his fist as he grabbed for it. Remy's surprised shudder showed Logan that he hadn't been expecting Logan to have enough brain cells left for such a manoeuvre.
Logan mimicked the slow steady rhythm, although he had to admit he didn't know what he was doing. This was actually difficult to do while being distracted and without having the usual sensual input to decide if it felt good. But when he tried some different movements, he felt smug as Remy faltered in his own ministrations.
Somehow this turned into some kind of competition as both men started to drive each other crazy with different touches. They broke into a sweat and most of their body parts tried to crawl into each other to get even more friction.
Logan wanted to do so much more than this, wanted to claim the man as his, but he knew it was too early. Everything in him screamed to take what he wanted, but thankfully Remy was good at being in charge too. It helped Logan's human side to keep the animal at bay – at least for the time being.
Both were grunting and humping against each other as finally Remy pushed Logan over the edge by biting hard into his shoulder. The pain of the bleeding bite went straight to his cock and let him explode with pleasure. He came so hard he saw stars, which made him squeeze Remy's cock hard too, triggering his orgasm right away.
Bliss. Pure and beautiful bliss. Logan felt sweaty, sticky from the come they had managed to get all over themselves and more satisfied than in what felt like years – just by getting jerked off. He couldn't wait to find out what it would feel like to actually make love.
When their breathing finally quieted down enough for conversation, Remy was the first one to speak, his hesitation obviously returning with the speed of light:
"You not freaking out on Remy, non?"
"No gumbo. 'M fine. Enjoying t' afterglow. Was nice."
"This mess no strain on your sensitive nose?"
Logan thought seriously about it, but than he shook his head: "No. It isn't. Care for another nap, 'fore we start this day?"
"Yes Logan. That would be very nice."
"Could we… cuddle some more, too?"
Remy chuckled: "Already thought we did, mon ami."
"Take off yer shirt for me? Wanna feel more skin."
"Dieu, de Wolverine's insatiable…"
"You don't know half of it, Cajun. An' now shuddup and take that stupid shirt off, so I can touch ya some more."
Remy hesitated long enough for Logan to notice, but finally he did what he was asked. His smell was betraying his feelings though and Logan stopped his movements.
"You freakin' on me now?"
Somehow Logan was sure that this hadn't to do with their intimacy but with something entirely else. Finally he got it and instantly tried to reassure the Cajun:
"I could feel them already. I mean, when I touched ya before."
Remy went rigid at that comment and hesitated once again. He tried to put on his usual poker face but failed miserably. Wolverine was of course talking about the scars on his back, which he hadn't been keen on showing anybody. He usually hid his scars under his full body armour. Remy hadn't thought the man would be able to feel them through the shirt, but he obviously had underestimated the Canadian's enhanced senses once again.
"Why would ya want ta hide 'em? 'M sure, they're pretty."
Remy stared at him in astonishment because he found his scars anything but pretty. He had also been told so repeatedly by other people, especially women, who had been put off by them. He wondered whether Logan was mocking him, but when he checked out of the corner of his eyes, the man looked pretty serious. So what the hell was that strange man talking about now?
"Yeah, pretty. I always envied people for being able to get scars."
"Why would you be jealous of them?"
"Because my healing factor prevents me from getting 'em. In my opinion scars can show who you really are."
Remy silently contemplated that while he felt Logan starting to stroke over his now exposed back, slowly tracing each scar. A shiver ran down on his spine, but it was not one of disgust but rather one of pleasure. He still mulled the words over in his head while enjoying the light touches, before he finally added:
"But dey also bring bad memories which you probably wanted to forget."
Logan nodded seriously: "Yeah, they show bad times, but they show your ability to survive those too."
Remy didn't know what to say to that. He had never thought this way before; he had only focussed on the bad things that kept happening to him. It was astonishing that a man with Logan's past could show him this other way of thinking. Only in times like these you could see the wise man Logan had become while living much longer than normal human beings did.
"Will you tell me how you got em one day?"
"Not today, mon ami. But… I'll t'hink on it, okay?"
"Good. Shut up then and go back ta sleep. I'll still want some shuteye."
It really hurt to entangle themselves from each other after their nap but they both thought it had been worth it. Dried come and body hair just didn't mix, but what the hell? Life wasn't perfect, right? You had to take the chances as they came.
When they tried to clean themselves in the bathroom, Wolverine finally spoke up again:
"You empathic or something? How come yer so quick at learning how ta do me?"
Remy sighed, obviously not liking the question but still answering truthfully.
"Non, Mon ami. No empath. At least no real empath. Just impressions I can seldom sort through, but…"
"But there are people I feel better around than other people. Dat's the reason why I trusted you. You feel good to me – to my senses."
"How does it feel?"
Remy needed longer to answer that question, mostly because he didn't know how to answer and not because he didn't want to. There weren't many people who knew about that extra ace up his sleeve – and even less had ever asked him to describe it.
"I think it may feel like your heightened senses. In my opinion everybody can judge other people by what they feel about them – I just feel a little more than other people. It's a real good ability for a thief, if you ask me."
Remy smirked and Logan couldn't help but answer with a chuckle: "Yeah, that and clever fingers." Logan bridged the short distance between them and grabbed Remy's right hand by his wrist. He pulled it to his mouth and kissed the palm, before licking over the middle finger. He purred when the taste hit his tongue, because it still tasted like sex.
Remy grew nervous again and didn't know where to look. Finally he did ask, obviously annoyed at his own behaviour because he wasn't used to being the prey instead of the predator:
"So, Remy wonders: dis happening again, mon ami?"
"Fine by me. Ya?"
"D'accord. Saves Remy the cruising."
Logan felt very, very stupid, which didn't happen that often. Of course he always knew that he could die like everyone else. Even if he lived longer than anyone else he had known, he had never imagined it would happen in such a stupid and pointless way.
What was he thinking, returning to Canada in the middle of winter? Just because Xavier thought it was a real trace to his own past it wasn't necessarily one. Of course his lifelong nemesis Sabretooth would have wanted to lure him there to finally get his revenge.
Even if he had been able to defeat the beast more times than he could count, it was bound to go the other way sometime. Even if his inner animal didn't like to acknowledge that fact, it seemed pretty certain right now.
He was tired and for some reason he didn't want to fight anymore. He had been searching for his past for so long now and he was getting tired of never getting anywhere with it. Everywhere he went he just found dead ends. Everywhere he went he always had to fight. Would it ever end?
He had relished being home so much, that he had gotten careless. So he had pushed his body more than he should have, of course knowing better all the time. Still the real problem probably was that he didn't sleep. He had tried to, but had failed miserably. Sleep just wouldn't come to him anymore without Remy at his side.
As a direct consequence, he was now exhausted and easy prey for Sabretooth. Currently he was lying under the stinking beast, who was laughing maliciously at his fruitless efforts to free himself from his death grip. His air was slowly running out and all he could think of was how stupid he had been to come here in the first place.
Pathetic, really. Well, story of his life.
His eyes watered and right as he felt his conscious slipping away due to air deprivation, several things happened at once. His foggy brain heard something like a loud explosion and then Sabretooth's stink, together with his weight on him, just vanished. Logan felt the familiar tingling as his healing powers kicked in on his damaged Adams apple and neck, while his lungs tried to get as much air as they could at once.
He still felt dizzy but he tried to stand when he heard the sounds of an ongoing fight right beside him. When his vision finally cleared he saw Sabretooth falling off the edge of the cliff they'd been fighting on for the past few hours.
Seconds later, standing slightly above him, bleeding and breathing hard, was none other than the Cajun himself.
"Stop making a fuss, Wolverine. I'm fine."
They were in his tent now and Logan made an effort to peel the injured Cajun out of his clothes.
"We need to disinfect those wounds. Who knows where Creed has been with those claws lately."
Suddenly Remy looked sick and let himself get stripped without further interruptions on his part.
"Good point, Cher," he amended
Remy was shivering and Logan knew it wasn't just about the fight or his hatred of ice. So he tried to take Remy's mind of the discomfort. Clearly Remy hated to go to the doctor – even if it was just Logan doing damage control.
"What are ya doing here, Cajun?"
"I've been told that it's really pretty here and I thought to give it a try for my latest vacation."
Logan bandaged the scratches on Remy's arm and snorted: "Right. Ya hate the ice Cajun."
Of course Remy knew what Logan was doing, but right now he couldn't care less. He shrugged: "Remy thought it must be beautiful, if you love it that much."
Logan contemplated the question in earnest, because he could smell real curiosity behind the words. It was his turn to shrug: "It just feels like home. Life here is easy. Not much to distract my nose, my eyes or my ears. I'm never as focussed as when I am here. The school and cities are always so noisy, but here it's really quiet. My healing factor helps with the cold too."
Remy shivered involuntarily. "You just had to mention de cold, Cher, didn't you?"
"Stop complaining, gumbo. I'm done in a few. We'll get you warmed up in no time after that." Remy nodded and bit his lip trying not to shiver too hard.
"The jet's only about six hours from here."
Logan looked surprised: "That far away? How did ya find me here then?"
Remy obviously didn't want to talk about it so he answered cryptically: "I have become good at finding my way in the ice, Cher. Besides, Sabretooth isn't as careful about destroying his track as you, Mon ami."
And that was that. "I never told you where to find me, when I left. I just said that I'd be to Canada to look for my past."
Logan remembered the day he'd told him about his trip quiet clearly. Somehow he had expected the Cajun to argue with him or at least complain that he wouldn't get any sleep without him, but he hadn't done anything like that. Back then, Logan hadn't been sure if he liked this behaviour of the Cajun or not. Any reaction would have been welcome, but Remy had just shrugged it off, like so many other things he hid behind his mask.
"De Professor used Cerebro."
Logan contemplated that while he tended to a particular tricky injury right on the Cajuns left shoulder. His ministrations made Remy hiss in pain, but he didn't complain or pull away, so Logan worked as fast as he could to get him back into his warm clothes.
He suddenly grinned, showing his canines: "Missed me that much, huh?"
He had looked for a playful answer, but Remy was earnest, when he finally gave him one. "Of course I did. But dat's not why Remy came. He… You'll think he's stupid."
The mighty Gambit, the joker and teaser, suddenly blushed – a sight Logan never thought he would get to see. It was definitely a sight to remember in the future. He would never admit it, not even under torture, but it not only made the Cajun look younger and even more attractive, but also cute. Logan was intrigued.
"Come on, gumbo. I won't tell nobody your little secret. What was it? I'm sure it's not stupid."
"I just had this feeling, mon ami. I know you can watch out for yourself, but… I don't know. This time just felt different. The first few days were okay, I wasn't concerned, but suddenly, when I came back last night from a mission, I grew concerned. I had the feeling you were in trouble. But I shouldn't have come here. You've dealt with Sabretooth on your own for decades and are surly old enough to watch out for yourself."
Misery was coming off Remy in smelly waves and Logan didn't like that at all. Under normal circumstances Logan would never have told him the truth, but he knew he had to do it now:
"Did I thank you yet for saving my life out there?"
Remy snorted "Don't insult Remy, Logan. He doesn't deserve dat."
"I didn't. Told ya the truth, bub. Do ya really think Xavier would've told ya where I am, if he thought I was doing so great on my own?"
That comment made Remy think until Logan had finished tending to his injuries.
"Now let's get some sleep before we go back to the jet."
"Can't we leave right away?" Remy whined, obviously troubled by the sound of his own voice and instantly trying to hide his embarrassment.
"We're both way too tired, gumbo. And even Sabretooth will need some extra time to recover from his most recent fight. I'm sure he'll like your cards even less now."
That made Remy grin, before he answered thoughtfully: "So you're sure he survived the fall?"
Logan nodded grimly: "He's done it before. But he won't bother us for the next few hours. Let's get some sleep before we'll both go home."
"But what about your past?"
"It was just a ruse from Sabretooth to lure me here. There's nothing here for me to find but him."
They were quiet and only snorts and grunts were heard while they wiggled into a comfortable sleeping position that would suit them both and wouldn't put a strain on Remy's injuries.
"Just a couple hours, Cajun. Then we'll be back to the warmth."
"D'accord. Remy'll be good."
The morning after their return from Canada, Remy thanked Logan profusely for looking after his wounds and sparing him another visit to Hanc. When he first felt the probing touch of a skin hungry Logan he stopped him for a short moment. He extricated himself from the nest they'd made, making Logan frown:
"What's wrong, Cajun?"
"Nothin'. Hush, Cher, and let me make you feel good!"
Remy glided down on the shorter man's body until he reached his goal, where he gave Logan the longest, most perfect blowjob of his whole life. Remy's expert touches rendered him speechless and incapable of doing anything else, within the blink of an eye. Logan just felt himself falling deeper and deeper into the pleasure the thief was evoking in him.
Logan used his last ounce of willpower to keep the Wolverine inside him in check and prevent Remy from getting hurt. It wanted to grab Remy's hair and pull hard until he bled. It wanted to grab the Cajun's neck and force its cock into this wide accommodating throat over and over at its own pace and with as much more force as it could muster. But Logan's human side did neither and was rewarded beyond every expectation he could have imagined.
Actually it was so good that he lost consciousness for a few minutes before coming back to himself in blissed out stupefaction. He was very glad that his raspy voice held only curiosity and no accusation, when he finally did get his speech back to ask:
"Ya did that before, Remy, didn't ya?"
Remy, who had crawled back up and was currently lying on top of Logan's body, tried to shrug it off and demonstrate that it was no big deal of it: "Remy was orphaned when he was five. He was poor and he had devil's eyes. His new family took him in when he was already 15. So Remy lived on the streets. He… survived."
Logan could smell that Remy didn't feel bad about revealing this particular piece of information about himself. He felt neither embarrassed nor angry about his past, it was just a statement. It was nothing that could hurt him anymore or could get used against him by his enemies.
Logan understood, so he didn't pity the man lying beside him. He had made similar difficult decisions in his life. But there was a thought that kept nagging at him and he just had to set it straight:
"You do know, that ya don't have ta pay me for letting you sleep here, right? This is an arrangement with benefits for both of us. I don't want ya ta think you owe me, because ya don't. And I don't want ya to do anything ya don't want ta either."
Remy was still serious, when he lifted his head again to look Logan in the eyes, still letting the rest of his body rest on the heavier bulk of Logan.
"Remy knows, Logan. He… I just felt like doing something good for you. There was no other thought behind it." Then he suddenly smirked: "Of course you're way more relaxed when you're satisfied, Mon ami, and I felt like cuddling a little more. But since this is no weekend I thought I'd offer you an extra treat to get this Cajun what he wants."
Logan grinned, delighted and answered:
"Yer lying, Cajun. Ya just wanted a good blow job in an easy way, so you upped the ante and now wait for me ta do ya back."
Remy's eyebrows flew up in real surprise at Logan's answer, because he clearly hadn't expected it. But he kept grinning and moved in compliance as Logan rearranged their bodies so that Remy was now lying on his back. His cock was still half hard and with a few expert strokes it was back to its full bloom.
Remy still couldn't believe what was happening to him. To say that he was surprised as Logan actually let him share his bed with him would have been the understatement of the year. Then, he was not only cool with the other X-Men believing him to be gay, but also with jerking off each other on a regular basis. That had felt more like a miracle to him than anything else. So what should he call this now? What was even more surprising than experiencing a miracle?
Remy hadn't much time to ponder that question before Logan finally got down to work after a quick sniff of the Cajun's pubic region:
"So let's see what a novice like me can do."
Jesus. Logan had been really serious. Remy caught the excitement and primal lust seeping out of Logan's every pore. He wanted it, was even eager to learn all about it. Perhaps it had something to do with the pheromones, Remy mused and he was right about it.
The pheromones Logan was picking up were driving him crazy with want and animalistic lust. How could one person be so sensual, so attractive? How could he be so turned on by the body of another man although he had never felt such things before?
Logan's senses were on overload. His eyes feasted on the smooth, silky skin of the nearly hairless body. Logan had always thought it odd for a man to have so little body hair. It was only found under Remy's armpits, on his legs, from the navel on downwards and nestled around his cock
The rest of Remy's body was hard, much harder than a woman's body would be, and well muscled. It also was milky white where it was hidden most of the time under his black and pink suit. There were so many places to touch and for Logan's eager hands to explore. But not only did he wanted to touch it, he also wanted to explored with tongue and teeth.
Still he didn't – at least not yet. It was too early, and he didn't know how Remy would react. The Cajun was still too tense, even if he took obvious effort to relax his muscles and enjoy what Logan was offering. So instead the Canadian focussed on the main attraction right before his nose.
Remy's cock was of an average size and slightly bent upwards. It had an angry red colour and twitched slightly, whenever Logan blew hot, moist breath over it. To Logan's nose it smelled delicious, musky and sweaty and very male. He felt his inner animal getting irritated with the smell, but he forced that feeling down.
Okay, Remy was most definitely a man – so what? Even his animalistic side usually went for challenges, didn't it? And seducing one Remy LeBeau was definitely a challenge he wanted to take, because he just knew it would be worth the trouble. There was no need to feel threatened by another alpha male, right?
So he bent down for the first probing licks around the head, getting rewarded by Remy trashing uncontrolled in the sheets. Logan smirked and gripped the Cajun's hips hard to hold him in place. Then he lifted his head and showed his canines off, grinning. He saw Remy gulping and felt even better, bending down again, while feeling an apprehensive shiver working its way down Remy's spine.
Did Remy really want somebody with canines like his near his most important body parts?
The next time Logan bent down he ignored the rock hard erection and buried his nose directly in Remy's pubic hair. God, that Cajun did smell good. He breathed in deeply, nuzzling his balls before opening his mouth to lick them.
After a short while, in which he lapped catlike at Remy's balls, another new smell invaded his nose. When he looked up curiously, he found that the tip of that tasty looking cock had started to dribble. He dived in for a first taste and savoured it with long, wet licks.
He wanted to take Remy's cock deep in his throat, because he assumed it would feel good. But when he tried it, while being careful his teeth, it didn't work out. His untrained gag reflex clearly highlighted his own limits. It had looked so easy when Remy had done it, but it was really tricky. He tried two or three times until he finally decided he would just have to practice every time he did it, before he allowed himself the help of his right hand.
Remy didn't seem to mind though, because more and more often a moan would escaped his usually quiet lips. Spurred on by that, Logan wanted to hear more of those pleasure noises and felt wickedly proud that he could evoke them. So he stopped teasing and got to the earnest sucking, filling the room with wet sounding licks and even some groans.
After a short while Remy broke into a sweat, which made him taste even better to Logan. Then suddenly the sharp tang of blood made Logan's nostrils flare. His head whipped around and he looked directly at the source of that sweet smell. He instantly crawled upwards and licked the blood from Remy's bruised lips. Remy went very still, not daring to respond, as Logan, half in animal mode, initiated their first kiss.
They had teased and nuzzled and licked on spare skin, had become real experts in jerking each other off, but they had never kissed before. Remy was shocked and waited for Logan to finally get back to his senses. He just hoped the dangerous man wouldn't freak out before he had gone down on him. But nothing happened. Logan just nibbled, licked and sucked purring at the bite in his lower lip, until he had the Cajun's mouth coaxed open.
Their first touch of tongues was gentle, but it did undo Remy completely. He stopped holding himself back and decided just to go for what he wanted. With a quiet moan he finally responded to the kiss as dirty and as passionately as he could. He dominated the kiss, pushed his tongue inside Logan's mouth to explore it. To his utter surprise Logan just let him, which turned out to be a major turn on for him. Instead of fighting for dominance Logan just kept purring and contented himself on merely answering his every move with equal passion.
At the back of his mind Remy wondered how intensive the taste of semen must be in his mouth for someone with heightened senses.
To Logan every new sensation felt just great. But it did remind him that he had another unfinished task waiting for him, and if he didn't get it done now, he probably wouldn't, judging by the way they were humping each other right now. So with some regret he finally broke the kiss and mumbled:
"There's time for more of that later, gumbo. Now let me finish my promise!"
That tore a hearty moan out of the Cajun, who usually wasn't very vocal in bed. He had bitten his lip because he had tried to muffle his cries of pleasure, but somehow Logan disarmed every defence he'd ever built with seemingly the most minimalist effort ever made.
And somehow Remy cared less every second. For the first time, in what felt like ages, he didn't needed to be in charge. He just knew that Logan would let him have his part whenever he needed it. So it was safe to give it up to the other man now.
Remy gently laid his hands on Logan's head, twirling his fingers around the short bangs. He didn't direct Logan anywhere, because everything he did felt just wonderful, but he liked the extra connection it brought him. And if he judged the purr coming of Wolverine right, Logan liked it just fine too.
Remy felt his orgasm approaching fast, but when he tried to warn Logan by gripping his hair and shoving, his fist got slapped away, which instantly triggered an intense orgasm.
He must have blacked out afterwards, because when he came back to himself, soft kisses were raining down all over his face. He actually purred, stretching under Logan's heavy bulk like a satisfied and content cat before answering the kisses with as much tongue as he had to give.
That made Logan chuckle, while he tried to take the onslaught without loosing his dignity. They kissed for a while, just lying there and enjoying each others' company. Both knew that they should talk about what was happening between them, but neither of them seemed very interested in conversation. So instead, they went for another nap first, curled up around each other, before they finally cleaned themselves up and started their day.
Logan understood right away that he was in serious shit over his new sleeping arrangement when the latest mission went awfully wrong. They had thought it would be an easy mission, but they didn't know back then that Sinister was involved. Of course it went downhill from there.
Everybody who still didn't believe in Remy's loyalty and his friendship to the X-Men after his return from the ice had been in for a big surprise. Any suspicions about Remy's sincerity were crushed when Sinister managed to capture him. He got his hands on him only for a few hours, but he managed to torture him well enough that everybody was convinced of the Cajun's innocence. He even did it partly in front of the other X-Men for quite some time, without them being able to help him in any way.
Only after Logan had gone feral was there enough distraction for the rest of the X-Men to rescue their team member. That wasn't what bothered Logan though. He knew that he was developing deep feelings for Remy, but he was surprised by how few things this changed between them as team mates. All of his friends were important to him. They trusted him and he would have fought in the same way for every one of them.
Logan had always been possessive of his lovers. Besides that, he had good reason to fear for their life. Whoever came too close to him had a tendency to die a painful and sudden death. But with Remy it was different. He had his own past that not only haunted but on occasion threatened him and with him being an X-Man too, he often had difficult and dangerous missions to do.
So Remy had decided to go down this dangerous path – getting close with Logan wouldn't really bring him more danger, perhaps only the focus would change. But Logan knew he could live with that. His inner animal longed for a mate – someone he could protect, but wouldn't die directly if he failed. When he was in love with someone, Logan often had the tendency to fail, and that was one of the things he hated most about himself.
Besides all that, he trusted in the abilities of his team mates. All of them had their strong and their weak point, but none of them was a stranger to fighting. He knew the Cajun could watch out for himself and that gave him a special kind of warm feeling he didn't feel the need to analyse yet, even if he knew that would have to change in the near future.
Of course it hurt to see Remy in danger, but that was just who they were. That wasn't the problem. All the X-Men knew what they bargained for, when he went on a mission. And even if he tried to, Wolverine couldn't take all the injuries for them. Even he was just a human being and he could die like everyone else.
So it wasn't the mission which had gone bad. It was the fact that he was bone tired despite lying wide awake in his own bed. He tried for 2 hours straight now, but without success. And it wasn't concern for the Cajun either, that kept him awake. He'd talked to Blue, and Henry had assured him, that Remy would be alright. He was just on observation in the infirmary, not because he was in danger. Blue had probably used the opportunity to do all the examinations at once while Remy couldn't flee and no one had to actually pull him to the monthly examinations.
That last thought made Logan smile fondly for both of them but it didn't help him with his sleeping problem. He just couldn't sleep without Remy at his side anymore. As soon as his eyelids dropped the next nightmare started he woke within seconds. He was too terrified by now, to even close his eyes. The last half hour he'd silently cursed his own stupidity for letting this happen in the first place, Remy and his stupid ideas, Sinister, the crew from weapon X, which had brought him those nightmares and everything else he could think of.
And still, sleep wouldn't come.
Of course it had been the same when he'd gone to Canada and on the few times he'd been on missions alone which lasted longer than one day. That had been nothing which could be helped in any way. Unlike those nights the Cajun had been too far away for Logan to change his mind and share his bed with him. But this night the Cajun was in the mansion and they still couldn't get any sleep.
He was sure by now, that Remy wasn't getting any sleep either. Having encountered Sinister once again in his still young life, the Cajun was bound to have some nightmares that night too. But still, there was nothing they could do about it, right?
Finally Logan accepted his fate, cursed everyone else to hell and rose from his bedding. Even his brief consideration of some aggression management in the danger room didn't look good enough to pursue. He was still sore from the fight with Sinister earlier in the day and on top of it, he had classes to teach the next day, too.
Right now Logan wanted just two simple things: make both their nightmares stop and get some decent sleep. So he dressed in baggy jeans and a flannel shirt to head down to the infirmary.
He out marched nearly everyone else, but he was actually so tired, that he didn't check properly for Henry. When he thought the air was clear, he just stepped into the infirmary. Henry hung bat-like from the ceiling, as his voice reached Logan's ears and it nearly gave the strong Canadian a heart attack.
"What can I do for you, my dear friend?"
Logan's mind was at a blank. He had no idea, how exactly he should answer that. There was just nothing but the truth and he certainly didn't want to tell that to the blue furred mutant. So he kept quiet and just shrugged while Hank looked him up and down with a speculative glint in his eyes.
"Word is, my friend, that our resident feral and our resident Cajun are developing feelings for each other. Do you happen to know whether these rumours are true, my dear friend?"
Logan shrugged helplessly again. The relationship between Remy and himself wasn't as innocent as it had been the last time he'd gotten confronted about it. But they still hadn't talked about it yet because both were used to hiding behind their masks. He couldn't just go and talk to Hank now, if he hadn't had the guts yet to confront the Cajun about his feelings. It just wouldn't be right.
So he tried for a different approach:
"Why would it matter, Blue? It wouldn't change anything for you."
Hank acknowledged that as true with a curt nod and a fond smile. "You're right, my friend, but it certainly would change things for you and how I deal with you here now."
For a heartbeat Logan actually feared that Henry was homophobic and he misinterpreted Hank's last sentence somewhat. But whenever he felt threatened in any way his inner animal pushed to the surface. It was his nose that told him, that Beast meant no harm to them. Hank must have felt his barriers coming up, so he lifted his arms to show he was no threat.
"I just wanted to make a suggestion, my dear friend – and I wanted to be sure not to offend you with it. The bed in the infirmary has been built to accommodate the heaviest mutations. So it can take not only your weight, but some additional weight too, without any problems. It's also wide enough for more than one person."
Logan blinked a few times while he tried to digest the new information and the hidden meaning behind it. Then he slowly started grinning.
"I could watch him for ya, so he won't be gone in the morning as soon as nobody's around him anymore. Ya could get some sleep too."
Hank also showed his toothy grin while nodding: "I'd be delighted to get some sleep myself."
"Blue has always been my favourite colour, ya know bub?" With that and an amused chuckle he made his way to the room where Remy was supposed to be sleeping in.
"Get some shuteye, Hank. I'll take care of things!"
"Good night, my friend."
And then Hank added so quiet, that even Logan couldn't hear him:
"I'm very happy for both of you."
"I don't get it, Remy. Why would you turn away from women to go out with Wolverine of all people? It just doesn't make sense!"
Logan recognised the speaker as Jubilee. She was alone in the kitchen with Remy. Logan had been out on a mission, so he was obviously not supposed to hear this. But he had heard the comment and was now intrigued. So he listened closely to the harshly whispered discussion.
Jubilee knew better than to say something like that too loud. Having a serious talk and having it remain privet was difficult in a place like the mansion, if you weren't careful.
So Jubilee had been careful – but not careful enough.
Logan could easily pick up her voice as he listened in on their conversation. He knew he shouldn't, but curiosity was killing him. He was interested in how Remy was going to answer that particular question.
"What exactly is the problem, petite? Dat Logan is Logan or dat Logan is a man?"
While Remy sounded cautious, Jubilee snorted – something she must have picked up from Logan – and even without seeing her, Logan knew that she was rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, right. A mutant who is a bigot. Don't be stupid."
"Most people are stupid, Jubilee. It has happened before and it will happen again. It's just the way people are."
"Well, then I'm not stupid. I couldn't care less about two guys getting off. As long as it's mutual…"
"So what else is de problem, petite? You don't like Logan?"
"I like Logan just fine, Remy. He has been one of my closest friends to me, since I arrived here."
"This is about you Remy. It's just not like you to suddenly go for men, especially not for such a fine example of masculinity. I can't get my head around it, it's just so strange. You've always been a women's man."
It was quiet for some moments in which Logan imagined the Cajun hopping on the counter, if he judged the sounds correctly. Finally Remy responded, clearly choosing each word with great care.
"Jubilee, 'ow long 'ave you know me now?"
"A couple of years."
"And 'ow many of dose years was I with Rogue?"
Jubilee snorted again: "Like forever. You've always been with her, until… well until the trial."
Jubilee clearly wanted to say more on the subject, but Remy had made quiet clear after his return, that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. So she kept quiet and waited for Remy to continue, which he finally did with even greater care:
"Do you t'ink I cheated on 'er?"
Now Jubilee sounded scandalized: "No, of course not."
"Even wit' all my flirting and teasing?"
"You wouldn't." she was sure.
"I'm impressed with the faith you have in this Cajun, Petite." Remy chuckled sadly and the sound of cards could be heard. Obviously Remy was playing with them to find his way through this difficult discussion. "But you are right, I didn't even think about it once. And do you know why?"
"Because you loved her."
"Dat's only half the trut', petite. I still love 'er and probably will until the end of my days, but back den, I was in love with 'er."
"That's what I said." She replied in exasperation. A kind smile sounded in Remy's answer.
"Non, it isn't."
"But I don't see the difference, Remy!" Jubilee whined, sounding impatient. "And what has Rogue got to do with you suddenly going out with Logan? I don't get it."
"If dis Cajun falls for anybody, it's always 'ard. No 'alf measures, no compromises. It doesn't matter what gender the person is. It's about what I can get from my partner in return."
"So what do you get from Logan?"
Another pause and a deep breath, before Remy finally admits:
"Safety. Jealousy. Passion. Possessiveness. Care." Remy chuckled, before adding "And dose are only 'is bad attributes."
There was a grin in Jubilee's answer too: "So what are the good ones then?"
"Come on, de man is sexy as 'ell, Petite. Don't tell me you didn't notice."
"Nah, not my type, Gambit."
"What?" Remy's voice became playful and mocking: "Too many muscles? Too much body 'air? Too short? Bad accent? Come on, really! Dis man's sex on legs. You 'ave to admit that, petite."
"No, really. I'd never go for him. We're just friends. Nothing more."
Remy grew serious again and got back on his feet. Judging by the sounds, he took some steps toward Jubilee and hugged her.
"I know, petite. I'm sorry I can't be for you what you want me to."
"I don't know what you're talking about Gambit…" Jubilee was probably flushed and tried to look anywhere but at Remy.
Logan heard the faint rustle of clothes again, which spoke of more hugging and petting. Instantly jealousy reared its ugly head, although Logan knew this was just Remy's natural touchy side and didn't mean anything sexual. Remy was just trying to make her feel better.
Now Logan felt really bad for listening in on the conversation in the first place, because he knew how bad unrequited love could make you feel. He had also been turned down on occasions and it still stung sometimes that Red had never returned his feelings.
"You better, petite?"
Jubilee sniffed but mumbled bravely: "No, not really. I'm sorry, it's stupid. I never wanted you to know. I knew you would never want a freak like me."
"Non, Cher. Feelings are never stupid. Of course I would go out with you, if my heart didn't already belong to someone else. You are a nice young woman, Jubilee, and certainly no freak. You'll find your other half one day too."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because I have been in exact the same situation as you are now. It was even anot'er man I 'ad dis massive crush on."
"Really? Who… who was it?"
"'E 'elped me to get away from the streets. Brought Remy to 'is new family. But 'e never returned my feelings. 'E did love me, but he was never in love with me. I didn't understand what 'e was trying to tell me back den with dose words either."
"So you've been into men before Logan?"
"Yes. Never many, but dere have been other men in my life before Logan."
"And there's no chance I could ever win your heart?" Jubilee sounded sad but very brave as she asked that particular question.
"I'm sorry, petite. I would never 'urt you when I know that my feelings just wouldn't be enough. You're one of my best friends, Jubilee. To give you hope would just be very cruel of me and dat's nothing you do to your friends."
Jubilee started sniffing again, but was obviously trying to be strong about it.
"Okay. I'm sorry."
"Don't be, petite. It's me who should be sorry to turn you down in the first place."
"It's okay. I'll deal with it. But… I think I need some time alone, Remy."
Logan hurried away from the corridor and tried to stay out of Jubilees way. She probably wasn't in the mood to cross his path, especially right now. So he kept out of her way and afterwards, when she was gone, made his way over to the kitchen.
Remy was still there, obviously waiting for him. As Logan had already expected, Remy had been aware that he was listening in on the conversation. He looked ready for a confrontation and was in defence mode. He probably expected a fight.
But Logan wasn't in the mood to fight. He wanted to finally get his Cajun for good. And this had sounded as if he actually had a chance.
"Were ya serious, Cajun?"
"What if, mon ami?" Remy sounded cautious and on guard.
"Answer the question! I asked first."
Great, now Logan sounded as if he was five years old and spoiled. Remy rolled his eyes and sighed, finally answering:
"I just wanted to let de petite off easily. Don't be mad about it, mon ami. This Cajun didn't mean anyt'ing bad."
Remy was good: if it weren't for Logan's sensitive nose, he probably would have believed every word. But Logan knew better. So he tried another approach:
"I can't keep doing this without feelings, Remy. My jealousy wanted me to do some pretty bad things, when I heard you hugging her."
Remy blinked in confusion because whatever he had been expecting this was not it.
"You were really jealous?"
"Of course! Quit with the stupid questions! What did ya expect, Cajun? Why should I treat you any different than other partners I've been with before?"
"Partner?" Remy echoed stupidly, seemingly unable to understand a single word that Logan was speaking.
"Yeah, 'partner'. Did ya really think I wouldn't grow possessive of my belongings?"
Remy still couldn't believe what he was hearing, but the few feelings that Logan was broadcasting were very serious. He wasn't mocking him. He meant exactly what he said. In Remy's stomach started something to fly – a feeling he hadn't dared to anticipate for months, while on his lips a tiny smile appeared. A tiny one, but a real one too.
"So this Cajun belongs to you now? Is that what you are trying to tell me, homme?"
Now Logan sounded suddenly uncharacteristically unsure of himself and played idly with the beer bottle, he'd taken out of the refrigerator.
"If… ya want this old man."
Remy's glorious smile was blinding.
"Of course, I want you, Cher. I've always had a weakness for older men."
Logan growled low in his throat, clearly a warning: "Don't talk about other men anymore. I meant what I said: I'm jealous and possessive and when something is mine once, it will belong to me until my dying day. And beyond."
Remy answered that with a fond smile, something in his stomach was doing happy summersaults: "Sounds exactly like what I want. And need."
"Good. Then let's get upstairs so I can claim what's mine." Logan growled, put the beer bottle away and grabbed for Remy's coat. From there he pulled the compliant form of his lover upstairs to his room, thankfully not encountering anybody on his way. They'd have time for the big announcement later.
When the door fell shut behind them, they started kissing frantically, with Remy leaning back against the doorframe and Logan pushing his right knee between the Cajun's thighs. Logan dominated the kiss, growling, shoving and not really knowing where to put himself. Now that he finally was allowed to do this properly he didn't know exactly how to get rid of all his pent up energy without hurting Remy in the process.
The Cajun's hand's were gripping Logan's hair with equal fervour, pulling him in against his mouth and keeping him in place. He seemed as desperate for this final connection as Logan.
But Logan wanted this real first time to be gentle. He wanted to show his love with every touch, and in his every movement. He also knew this would be over much too quick if they continued like this, probably even before they reached the bed or lost their clothes. Gods, he felt like a horny teenager again and he couldn't even remember his teenage days.
So Logan showed his famous willpower and tried to calm them both down by stopping the frantic humping motions. Consequently, Remy grunted impatiently, bit Logan's lips in a bruising kiss and tried to make him move again, but the older man stayed calm.
Logan smelled Remy's irritation and soothingly stroked his flank up and down to assure him that he wasn't having second thoughts and that he just wanted to slow this down a little.
Speech was beyond him, which always happened when the animal lurked just beneath the surface, but even the Wolverine knew the difference between mating and fighting. So he purred and started to rub sensually, in slow motion against Remy's hard and muscular body.
In answer to that particular move, Remy's beautiful red orbs fluttered shut and they started kissing slowly with delicious passion, until Logan finally did get his speech back. It happened at the right moment, too because Logan suddenly had an epiphany, about how he could best show his feelings.
"Ya…" Logan cleared his throat, before he mumbled, not meeting Remy's eyes, because he was suddenly nervous about all this: "ya can do me, gumbo, if yer want."
Remy instantly froze, lifted a questioning eyebrow and looked at him with a wide eyed expression that went beyond mere surprise.
"You sure? Dat… dat really what you want, Logan?"
Logan was pokerfaced, when he met Remy's questioning gaze, unwilling to show his insecurities. Every part of the Wolverine screamed inside him, demanding to know whether he'd gotten insane in the course of the last few seconds or what the hell had happened to him. But Logan had lived long enough with this part of himself to know how to keep it silent in important situations.
"I wouldn't have said it, if I wasn't sure, Cajun."
"But why, mon ami? You know there's no turning back after that, right?"
Logan nodded earnestly: "I know. I want ta give this ta ya. Ta show ya that this is no game for me…"
So Remy contemplated Logan's seriousness before carefully asking another question: "Why not de ot'er way around, Cher?"
Logan looked at his feet when he mumbled: "Healing factor, did ya already forgot?"
Now Remy looked smug: "So Remy was right, you did just want to put yourself in 'arm's way, like you always do, right?"
Logan shrugged, not wanting to show that the Wolverine considered Gambit weaker than itself. Consciously Logan didn't, but his inner animal had other ideas. It knew it could kill Remy in ten seconds flat, were it to put some effort in – especially since Remy had started trusting Logan – so it had to watch out for its weaker mate.
"It doesn't have to hurt, if you do it right."
Logan released a breath, he didn't know he had been holding when Remy didn't comment on what he knew could be his most annoying behaviour. So instead of worrying about it, he voiced another concern:
"Look, what makes ya believe, I won't hurt ya? Ya can't know if the Wolverine wouldn't just take what it wants…"
Remy just lifted an eyebrow and snorted:
"Yeah right. Because everything we did before was wit'out any passion and every time you sleep with a woman, she's dead afterwards."
Of course Remy was right, but he still didn't get what Logan's real concern was. It was just so difficult to tell, but he took his courage and just plunged forward, like he always did:
"But I can't even remember the last time I wanted to claim someone so badly. I don't even know if I ever did want anybody that much…" he finally confessed, not meeting Remy's eyes. He felt exposed and silly for admitting this, but it had needed to be said.
For what seemed an eternity neither of them spoke. Remy was silently contemplating Logan's words and his sincerity. Then he gripped the feral's chin and made him look at him:
"Okay, this first time, I'll take you, but only under special conditions. For a start you'll promise to reciprocate as soon as we're up to another round."
Logan clearly wanted to argue, but Remy shushed him with his index finger resting on the Canadian's lips.
"I'm serious, Logan. I do trust you and this trust includes de Wolverine too. You didn't hurt me before, not even when in feral mode or when you were having a nightmare. I don't see why you would start hurting me now, Cher, especially when we give each other pleasure instead of pain. Besides…" a genuine smile appeared on Remy's face and his eyes twinkled: "…this Cajun doesn't break easily. I'm sure he's been through worse than your care…"
Logan slapped his shoulder playfully, chuckling along with him.
"Thank ya very much for that Cajun. I'll pay ya back, ya can be sure…"
"Oh, this Cajun's waiting for it…"
Still chuckling along Remy leaned in to kiss Logan once again. It was just a chaste peck of lips but it felt so fucking good, that he had to pull away quickly, because he wasn't finished yet.
"Do you 'ave something we can use to slick up?"
Logan's brow furrowed in concentration while contemplating it, before he finally shrugged:
"Only some lotion in the bathroom. I didn't think that far ahead yet…"
"Never mind, I'll just go and plunder my drawer den. Give me thirty seconds!"
Logan didn't like the thought of Remy leaving even for one second, because he feared the Cajun would get second thoughts, but he pushed his fears away and just nodded curtly. To Remy, Logan's insecurities were almost tangible, so hurried to his room as quickly as possible.
With that, Logan found himself alone for the time being, not knowing where to put himself. It was more than awkward to stand around with all these strange feelings churning in his stomach. Would he really go through with what he had proposed? But even when the Wolverine was insecure, Logan knew exactly what he wanted. And he wanted Remy – badly. So he would do it the only right way there was.
And if the Wolverine didn't like it, it could go fuck itself.
Logan intended to enjoy every single second of it and he was actually surprised to feel that he was half hard by merely thinking of it. For a moment he wondered if he should work himself to full hardness to stop thinking altogether, but then he decided against it. If Remy felt anything like he imagined him to feel, his control would get strained enough through the course of the night.
While looking for a distraction, the stocky Canadian crossed his room and started undressing. He lost his pullover on the way by pulling it carelessly over his head. Then he sat heavily on the bed and started untying his hiking boots before pulling them off quickly. His socks followed soon, while he listened in on the noises Remy was making on the other side of the room.
Logan tracked his partner's path to the other room, not really having to put in any effort because of his enhanced hearing. He clearly could hear Remy rummaging around in his search for the required utensils. Logan smiled secretly as he heard a victorious "Got you!" from his partner.
The door of Remy's room got closed in a hurry, while Logan started to undo the buttons of his jeans. They were already tight enough, so he relaxed as the pressure finally eased somewhat.
Meanwhile Remy burst into the room like a whirlwind just as Logan hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans to pull them down. Remy stopped dead in his tracks, staring at him with obvious lust, his eyes feasting on the view. The intensity of the appreciating gaze made even Logan blush like an inexperienced virgin.
Of course he knew that women found him attractive because of his extreme masculine looks in form of muscles and crispy body hair in all the right places. But he'd never imagined such a classical and very male beauty like Remy looking at him like that. He felt like a piece of meat and instantly felt his erection spring into full bloom.
"Dieu, you're gorgeous. So much power...Dis really for Remy to take?"
Once again, speech was beyond him, so Logan just nodded dumbly. He had stopped his movement, but now Remy urged him on: "Go ahead, show Remy what you've got!"
This whole situation clearly shouldn't turn him on that much, especially since they had already been intimate with each other. Nonetheless it did turn him one just fine, probably because neither of them had to hide their appreciation of the other's physic anymore. To his relief Logan could smell how much Remy was also turned on and he could clearly see the outline of what must be a painful erection through the Cajun's tight trousers.
Logan still had enough sense to force a grin and nod his head in the direction of the open door. Remy followed the movement with his gaze and blushed deliciously at seeing that he'd forgotten to close it in his haste. So he hurried over to slam it shut before crossing over to Logan's bed, where he sat down. From there, he looked coyly at Logan, who stood only a few feet away with his clothes scattered around him and his thumbs still hooked in the waistband.
"Come on, big man. Make a show for Remy!"
Although he felt a little silly for indulging, Logan just did that. He'd never taken this long to get rid of a pair of jeans, but what the hell? The look he got from his lover was definitely worth the effort it took to move so slowly. His erection was twitching madly on its own, and Logan felt dizzy under the rush of arousal as Remy licked his lips in anticipation. While watching his lover undress, Remy started to knead his erection through the fabric of his pants. But his hands got quickly slapped away by an advancing Wolverine who growled in warning:
"That's mine alone to play with!"
Remy had to take a deep breath to suppress another shiver, which wanted to travel along his spine at the possessiveness in Wolverine's tone. He had always wondered what it would feel to be the focus of so much attention and care. By the look of it, he'd soon find out and one thing was pretty clear: it was already a major turn on for one curious Cajun.
Logan surfaced again, pushing the Wolverine aside to growl another command:
"Too many clothes, Cajun. Off! I want my own show runnin'."
Logan made encouraging motions for him to take his place, while he lay down comfortably on the bed. Remy's legs were shaky when he stood to leave the security of the bed and he wasn't sure he would have the patience for a real show. Logan was right. He was wearing too much clothes and by the time he removed them, he'd probably be insane with lust and longing for his feral lover.
But on the other hand he really wanted to make this good for Logan. He was still overwhelmed that Logan found him attractive, so he wanted to show off to him in order to give him pleasure.
While Remy stalked to the middle of the room, lacking his usual grace due to acute nervousness, Logan crossed his arms behind his head. That made the Cajun grin, because although Logan tried to hide it, that was not a sign of relaxation, but of prevention. If he'd even so much as gazed intently at Logan's angry red and twitching erection it would probably blow.
The control his new partner showed and the lurking lack of control behind it, turned Remy on beyond his every expectation. So he started to undress for his audience, doing it as sensually as he could without actually dancing. First he shrugged out of his trench coat, which soon lay forgotten on a nearby chair, before he turned around to bend over to unlace his shoes.
He smirked at the appreciative hiss which that particular course of action brought him, as Logan got a real good eyeful of his ass. He took his time loosing first one and then the other heavy boot, showing his flexibility in every move. Afterwards he straightened his form again and pulled his shirt over the head, taking the extra time to throw it right at Logan, who caught it midway and sniffed it appreciatively while looking right in his eyes.
Remy tried desperately not to focus on the things that action did to his libido, because he wasn't keen on coming still half clothed without having been touched either. He considered what action would be most appreciated next and a devilish thought crossed his mind. He started smirking and oh-so-slowly started to peel his pants from his hips without further ado.
The Wolverine purred under his breath as he realised that the Cajun was going commando under his fighting outfit. He'd always wondered about it thanks to his senses, but learning it this way was very arousing.
Initially Remy had planned to turn around now, to give Logan a fuller view of his now exposed front, with its rock hard and already weeping erection, but he never made it. Instead he was tackled from behind, and strong hands were suddenly all over him. Remy was manhandled by the Wolverine to the bed, but since he didn't put up a fight, it happened without any further incident. He couldn't believe how much he liked giving up control to this dangerous creature.
Still, the Wolverine was very gentle with him, even in its passion. Remy was kissed so thoroughly, so passionately, that he wouldn't have minded dying by oxygen deprivation. This felt just too good to stop. But thanks to the Wolverine's impatience, they kept on living, as it broke the kiss and started sniffing him all over. When they'd been intimate before, he'd always felt that Logan was holding back. As he wasn't sure Logan didn't want to do, he had figured it had to do with him being a man, but obviously it wasn't.
Logan must have been holding back only because he'd feared rejection, which he could now feel clearly. As if Remy could have rejected such a passionate creature. Dieu, he'd probably be dead from happiness and exhaustion by the end of the night.
But what a way to go, right?
The Wolverine was taking its time, sniffing him, licking him, learning every angle, every smell and each pleasure centre, and it felt so fucking good, that Remy couldn't do much besides moaning and mewling. If Remy had known that this passion, for him of all people, had been lurking right under the surface of Logan, he'd never once started a relationship with Rogue. Dieu, he probably could have had this years ago!
After a while Remy couldn't stand lying still anymore and started to touch Logan back as he could without getting in the way of his own ministrations. The Cajun stroked through the crisp hair on Logan's head, through his whiskers and over his torso. He even managed to get away with some well placed licks and kisses, which he already knew would arouse Logan even further.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of lying there moaning and touching and kissing, Logan surfaced once again and growled, "your turn Cajun. If ya don't do me now, I don't think I'll be able ta let ya have me at all tonight."
Remy nodded understanding and his anticipation spiked once again, so Logan quickly rolled off him and lay on his back. It was Remy's turn to grin.
"Non, mon coeur. Remy wants you to do it yourself. Dat way, de Wolverine gets all its control it needs and Logan will get 'is sacrifice.'"
The last part was said mockingly, but kind. Still Logan furrowed his brow in silent question without answering and without moving. His patience was wearing really thin and he obviously wasn't up to discussing this again. Sensing his lover's growing irritation Remy hurried to explain.
"I want you to ride me, Cher."
"Ain't I ta heavy?" Logan blinked, slowly understanding dawning in his fuzzy brain. Remy snorted. "Did I ever complain about your weight, mon ami?"
Logan contemplated that and then smirked.
"No. Ya seemed ta like it just fine."
Logan started grinning as he straddled Remy's hips, before he candidly admitted:
"I'll need some direction though..."
He leaned in to kiss his Cajun some more, deliciously slow, passion burning just beneath the surface, which Remy could feel clearly. Logan was right, if they didn't do it quickly, they'd both loose it. So when they broke the kiss, Remy ordered:
"Grab for de lube, mon cœur!"
Logan did as he was told and brought the lube up on the bed. He didn't reach for the condoms though, so Remy lifted an eyebrow in silent question, which prompted Logan to explain himself.
"We won't need it, Remy. I know ya watch out for yer health and even if you were ill, there ain't a virus which could kill me. I always disliked them myself, when I had to use them with woman to prevent them from getting pregnant. I... want to feel you fill me up and mark me as yours." He paused for a moment to let his words sink in before amending: "But we will use them of course, if you want to..."
Remy shook his head quickly, wide eyes staring in disbelief, but obviously touched by his lover's words.
"Non, mon ami. Remy'd like to do it dis way." His voice sounded shaky even to his own ears, so he wasn't surprised when Logan bent down to check on him.
"Ya okay, gumbo?"
"You really want me, don't you?"
Remy still couldn't fully believe it. He understood sex easily, but he had problems grasping the possibility of people who actually wanted to be with him. Not just because he was good looking, or a nice fuck, or because of his natural charm, but because they honestly liked him.
He had been betrayed so often in his life by those who he loved, that believe didn't come easily. But he knew deep down that he could trust Logan not to hurt him in that way. He might have problems believing it in his head, but his heart knew all along.
Although it was still difficult to believe Logan really wanted him, not just his body or his pretty face, but his whole persona. If that was not scary thought, Remy didn't know what was. Sill, he was no coward and he had never been one.
Logan wisely didn't comment on the feelings which were playing openly over the Cajun's face and just nodded as seriously as he could.
"Of course I do. From now on, ya'll be mine. And I don't ever share, never forget that!"
The last part had been added by the Wolverine and Logan gave the impression he would have preferred to have kept it to himself, but it made Remy feel only warmer on the inside.
"Come on, Logan. I want you. Now!"
Logan nodded, smelling the difference in Remy's emotional state and put the lube into the Cajun's waiting hands. Remy's fingers shook with anticipation, but he managed to open the tube and put a great amount of the slippery stuff on them.
Then he steeled himself to look at Logan and motioned for him to shift higher, so that he was half sitting on and half kneeling over his rib cage. He didn't take long to reach for his goal and to start massaging the hidden entrance there.
Logan hissed again, closing his eyes in concentration, but for the rest he held himself perfectly still. Remy had the urge to ask if he should stop, but he knew it would only anger the Wolverine now. So he just kept probing the secret entrance with his right hand, while his left covered Logan's angry red cock, which was bobbing up and down right in front of the Cajun's face.
The heady smell emanating from it and the constantly weeping tip made him dizzy with lust, but he tried to shrug it off and concentrate on the task before him. He established a counter rhythm with his middle finger and his fist, while a trembling Logan tried to remain still. Remy could well imagine that the Wolverine didn't like this new sensation at all, but Logan was keeping it in check.
Remy kept working with concentration, conjugating Latin verbs in his head just to keep from rushing things. Logan's body was very tight, but loosened up faster than expected to Remy's expert touches.
He could work up to two fingers in no time, as Logan already started moving with the thrust of his fingers before finally growling.
"Enough! 'M Ready!"
If it had been someone else, Remy would have put up a fight, because Logan couldn't be ready yet (from the feel of it was actually far from 'ready') but under these circumstances he didn't. Logan was old enough to know what he was doing, and there was something to be said for his healing abilities and his capacity to take a lot of pain without so much as blinking.
So Remy just nodded and grabbed the lube again. Touching himself to slick his erection up was pure torture, but he managed it by not breathing too much and concentrating on boring things.
Finally they made it and both of them wouldn't have been able to stand even one more second. But everything else stopped mattering, when Logan finally lowered himself down on Remy's length; the feral's gaze now holding Remy's for every second of it. Logan took deep and even breaths, pushing steadily at the intruder with his muscles at every small down stroke.
Both were drowning in the sensations which were flooding their bodies and minds, both captured by the moment. Their feelings and their coupling were suddenly the only important things, everything else forgotten. Even back at the start, when it was s till painful, just before Logan learned the pleasure of this one wonderful spot deep inside of him, they both felt pure need and also love.
They didn't rush it as they moved slowly and steady together, but at the first hit of Remy's cock head against his prostate Logan came, howling his pleasure out for anyone to hear. He didn't go soft for even a second though and he never faltered once in the constant thrusting.
The feral just kept moving and moving like the proverbial energizer bunny, his healing factor taking care of everything else. Remy felt like flying, breathing as hard as if he had run a marathon and totally lost in the sensation of this hot, powerful body tight around him.
They were sweaty, dizzy with pleasure and the room reeked heavily of sex and come, while they kept mating, as if there was no tomorrow.
Somewhere in the middle of it they had grabbed each other by the hands, linking their fingers, still maintaining their sweet, slow rhythm. They had long lost the ability to realise who made what noises, but the room was filled with sound. There were grunts, growls, moans and cries, but neither of them could have care less about that.
When they came, this time Remy was first and followed quickly by his feral lover. They howled their pleasure, collapsing onto each other and instantly losing consciousness.
They didn't care about that either as they slept the sleep of the truly happy for the first time in a very long time for both of them.Epilogue
Logan was in the gym working through his training katas when he heard his lover coming back from his latest mission. It was difficult to maintain his concentration and finish the katas, as his whole body screamed to go and greet Remy with a deep kiss and a long hug.
It had been two weeks now, since they'd finally admitted their feelings for each other and had made love for the first time instead of just having sex.
But they hadn't actually told anyone yet. Of course the professor, Beast and Jubilee already knew about it, and most of the others suspected it, but still the Cajun hadn't made a move to make it official.
That puzzled Logan to no end, since nobody had reacted badly about it. Even Rogue kept to herself and tried to be as civil as she could to them. She hadn't started even one fight with him or Remy for the last four weeks, which in itself was something to notable.
But for some reason, Remy seemed afraid to touch him in front of the others and show his great affection. This was really strange for a touchy person like Remy.
At first Logan had thought that it was to do with his training as thief, that somehow Remy didn't want to show the others the weakness that such deep feelings obviously entailed, but the longer he thought about it, the less it made sense.
Something else was holding Remy back from what he desperately wanted to do and Logan just couldn't figure out. So he decided to just wait until the Cajun was ready to talk to him. The one time he actually had confronted Remy with it, it had ended in their first real fight as a couple. Thanks to their mutual stubbornness they had nearly slept alone that night, but in the end, had thankfully settled for make-up sex instead.
And then there were the three magic words. Logan might be a feral inside, but he was also romantic too. He knew that Remy was in love with him. Every touch, every small smile showed it. Also he'd clearly stated it in his little talk with Jubilee.
But somehow the Cajun couldn't voice the words when he was with Logan. That hurt Logan more than he would ever tell anybody, but there was nothing he could do about it but wait patiently. Logan inwardly snorted at his own trail of thought, as he had never been known for his patience.
So the words were right on Logan's tip of his tongue, but he held them back. He didn't want to make his lover feel bad because he couldn't say them. He would wait as long as the younger man needed him to, even if it hurt.
Nearly everyone was present in the gym when Remy arrived from his latest mission, but he only had eyes for his lover. Dieu, Logan was so attractive when he went through his katas.
Remy had always wondered how Logan did it. How could one be such a feral creature, and then find this grace and inner calm in their katas? He knew how much Logan loved Japan because he had found his inner peace there – if only for a little while – after a real bad episode in his past.
Logan went to Japan as often as he could and Remy pictured him in the monastery that Jubilee had told them about after her trip there. Suddenly Remy became aware that Logan hadn't been going there for months now, which most certainly related to their new sleeping arrangements.
Now he knew what he'd buy his feral lover for their first monthly celebration. He had been racking his brains, but suddenly a great idea formed in his mind. He could buy him a ticket to Japan and propose to accompany him. The part of the country where the monastery stood was colder than Remy preferred, but the sight of an utterly relaxed and happy Logan would probably be more than worth it. If his lover didn't want him to come along, he would be able to accept that too. On the other hand he was pretty sure that Logan would be delighted with his company.
Watching his lover go through the katas, Remy felt the presence of other people in the gym even more heavily than usual. But the wish to greet his lover with a hug and a kiss was growing stronger every second, but he tried to hold back as best he could.
He was still insecure about how Logan would react if he did it. He didn't want to push the older man into anything just to please himself. Surly he wouldn't want any public displays of affections from his younger lover, since he was usually a very private person.
He could remember how stiffly Logan had reacted when Ororo had confronted them at the breakfast table and he wouldn't want to make Logan uncomfortable just because he was so needy. He had been a touchy person right from the beginning and it cost him to stop himself from touching other people – especially when he was so deeply in love with them. It cost him so much energy, that even Logan picked up on it, as their latest argument had shown.
But he didn't want to risk loosing what he had with Logan because of such stupid, little things. He remembered times when he hadn't feared getting dumped over the slightest mistake, but that felt like ages ago. The ice had probably been the last straw in building these insecurities, but knowing this didn't help him.
He felt whole and good like a real person for the first time in a long while and he didn't want to risk loosing it for anything.
And yet, knowing all this, he felt his legs start moving on their own account. He couldn't stop himself walking over to Logan's now still form, as he finally finished his katas. He couldn't keep his arms from lifting either, or his lips from connecting with Logan's mouth, which was opened in a surprised 'Oh!'
He felt all eyes staring at them and couldn't bring himself to care as Logan returned his kiss with an overwhelming passion. Hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in even more, deepening the kiss further and further and pulling needy little moans out of his throat.
He felt a great wave of relief flood his mind, which must come from Logan. Suddenly Remy understood how wrong he had been with interpreting his lover. While consider his private nature he'd totally forgotten the Wolverine inside.
That feral creature probably needed to openly stake his claim and to warn everyone about touching what belonged to him. Grinning against Logan's lips, Remy found that he liked that particular trait.
He was sure that this relationship would hold plenty of future misunderstandings and problems for the both of them, but instead of fearing the future, he looked forward to it. With Logan at his side, there was nothing to fear anymore, so he leant in to finally whisper the much needed words in Logan's sensitive ear.
The rest of the X-Men never got a chance to comment on that intense kiss they had witnessed, because Remy got immediately pulled upstairs by his lover. So they looked at each other, grinned knowingly and then shrugged as they went back to their own business.
Finished 25th February 2010