Disclaimer: Twilight, and all the recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
A/N: I thought I'd try writing from Seth's POV for a change. It's kinda depressing, but Seth can't always be happy, and I wanted to explore a different side to him.
"Our sense of worth, of well-being, even our sanity depends upon our remembering.
But, alas, our sense of worth, our well-being, our sanity also depend upon our forgetting"
Remember The Memories
Seth remembers things: when everyone whispers hurtful things about his sister, he remembers a time when these same guys would come by his house unannounced hoping and praying for a change to see his older sister.
He remembers when Leah used to smile, when her laughter would reach her eyes, and she literally glowed.
He remembers that time so well because that girl was his sister.
The person that sits across from him now days with that sneer on her face and insults on her lips—that girl isn't his sister. She's a shell of who his sister used to be.
He hates the fact that this person—if you would call her that—has taken over his sister body.
He knows that his sister is buried somewhere inside—deep down inside—because he remember a Leah who spend all her time on the phone ignoring him during the day—but it was okay because right before he went to bed, she would always come into his room and tell him about her day.
They had a relationship. They were siblings.
The person everyone calls "Leah" now is always angry—and he understands—because if had to go through what she did he would be angry to, and a part of him is angry, because he went through almost every hurtful and painful thing Leah went through, and it's no excuse for shutting him out of her life—especially when all he wants to do is help her.
But Seth understands that she needs time, but he doesn't get why. He remembers that Leah wears her emotions on her sleeve. If she is upset no one will have peace, and that is the case with this Leah, but yet at the same time, it's not the same.
She's angry—all the time, and he remembers when she used to get angry. His father would blame it on the fact that she was a teenage girl, but she would get over it. But this anger he remembers it because it's etched into his head as the thing that is now his sister.
Seth remembers. Because that's the only thing to do. He remembers his father, because the memories are all that he has left and he'll be damned if he forgets Harry Clearwater.
He remembers when his house was filled with laughter. When his mother would come home smiling, and Leah, no matter what had happened would roll her eyes and laugh along with them.
Seth remembers when his mother would smile a real smile. The one she wears on her face every day is forced, because she doesn't smile like she used to, and every day it's like a punch in the gut.
He remembers when Leah would smile. When the whispered words were words of envy and jealousy instead of now when all she does is scowl and the words that are whispered are those of pity and distain.
But what he remembers most is having a family. Sure he still has Leah and his mom, but without his father it's not the same. He remembers their fishing trips and weekly family nights, because he misses it and wishes that those things were still able to happen.
He remembers the good times, the happy memories because now days he can't even walk two steps without wanting to cry.
He remembers these things because being happy is all he wants for everyone.