Capricious

Chapter 1: Fuura Kafuka

It was weighing on my mind a lot though. The difference. Between is and was and if he was some odd combination of both wrapped in the fear of it all, in the wonderful gray in the middle as a refuge. Because shade is safe. Not all one, not all another it spoke against bitter loyalties that only ended in betrayal. It was an admittance of disloyalty and that might have been better, but I wonder if he was admitting it to himself.

He knew though, I knew he knew, in that ever growing pit, everyone has a pit. A dark pit where everything is all or nothing, is is or is not. Because there. I can see all the ises and is nots. And if I have a dark pit than so must he of course. Everyone has a dark pit.

So I just don't know though. Whether or not he was an is or an is not. So I thought, maybe he was a was. And I didn't know really what to make of that, baffling situation, but. There are times when people are not ises or is nots. It is these times when they grasp out in utter confusion and despair. Because imperfection. We love structure, we hate structure.

What people need to see is that it's all beautiful. All the ises and is nots are of equal beauty and grace and even everything in between everything from the cherry blossoms to the noose burns to the splash of red on the wall and oh, the red. The immediate is not is beautiful for someone grasping at is and is not, and the decision of is not makes a red that's so pretty and...

But wases? Is that what to call the middle? A was? Even I'm not sure. Does that make me a was? I don't think so. I think I'm an am. I am.

But I can't be an am, for there was a time when I was an is, and I don't know if an is can be an am. Or maybe I was always an am, but just now, I was a was or was I still an am? For now, I am. And it's beautiful. I wish I could make everyone an am. But is nots are pretty too. But only red comes out, not their dark pit, and I'm kinda sad cuz if I saw their dark pit I could know for sure if they were at one point an is. But maybe the dark pit turns red when you're an is not. Chiri likes is nots, because they're completely is nots, while ises can always become wases or is nots. Is nots stay is nots. I'm just an am though.


A/N: It's about time I wrote a fic that was more than a chapter. XD This fic is over halfway done, though I'll post it a bit slower, with a few days in between...anyways, this is gonna be sort of stream of consciousness and about 11-12 chapters. It's gonna be weird, aha. XD The chapters are gonna be fairly short, so there's that too. Feedback appreciated!