AN: Hey! This is my first story, so I hope that you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, though I wish that I did. The plot is also loosely based on Roxanne, the 1986 movie starring Steve Martin. I don't own this either (though owning Steve Martin may be fun Also, just to be safe, Court and Spark is a song and an album by Joni Mitchell produced well before I was born. I own a copy of said album, but I do not own the right to it. In fact, I own next to nothing.

Snape hated looking himself in the mirror. Most people found one thing to hate about themselves and they'd harp on it until they got tired and moved onto something else. He wasn't one of those people though. Nope, he hated everything about himself. His chest was scarred from the multiple beatings Voldemort seemed so fond of giving out as well as the wounds of war. His neck had a pale scar left by Nagini's bite, but he was able to hide that easy enough with a high collared shirt. His hair was thin and greasy, not due entirely to potions. No, he naturally produced more oils in his hair than most people. He'd given up on trying making it look good years ago. Still, he hated his hair. Then there was the fact that his face was too long, which his thin greasy hair only accentuated. Still, this wasn't his biggest complaint about his appearance. No, the biggest one was the hardest to miss.

His nose.

How he hated his nose. It was naturally larger and longer than anyone else's. The fact that it had been repeatedly broken over the years didn't help matters. It had been healed, but each time it had grown back more misshapen and larger than before. His nose had become a symbol of everything that had gone wrong in his life, everything about him that was ugly. If he could ever fix his nose, well, he didn't know, but he sure did wish that he could.

Snape scowled as he looked in the mirror. If he had the choice, he wouldn't be looking into the mirror at all. He would just brush his hair and march up to the great dining hall. Headmistress McGonagall though had made it clear that he was to make himself look presentable for the newest Transfiguration professor. He didn't see why; it's not like he was that close to anyone anyway. Whoever it was would probably only tolerate him at best and the effort to look good would be wasted. Still, he was frightened enough of the Headmaster to try to appear presentable for her newest protégé.

He brushed his hair out for a few minutes until it looked halfway decent. Maybe this day wasn't going to be a complete waste; at he finally looked decent. Then his attention was drawn to his nose again. Scowling, he decided that he was done messing with his face. He put on his best black overcoat over his good robes and stormed out.

The hallways were empty as there wouldn't be any students for a few more weeks. Snape enjoyed the silence of the hallways. For a few moments, he could let his face down and show no emotion. He didn't have to scowl and appear intimidating, though he didn't mind doing that. Instead, he could let his guard down for a few precious seconds.

As he approached the dining hall, he heard laughter and loud voices. He tried to make his face appear as emotionless as possible, but he could feel his mouth trying to twitch into a scowl. He burst into the room and looked around at the head table. Minerva looked down from her discussion with Professor Longbottom and smiled. "I'm glad that you've decided to join us Severus," she replied.

"It's not like I had a choice," he grumbled as he took his usual seat to the right of her. Instantly, a breakfast of eggs, bacon, and pancakes appeared.

"Yes, well you look nice," the Headmistress replied.

"Is your Transfiguration professor here?" he asked not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice.

She sighed. "No, she's running late."

She huh. Yep, give her a couple of days and she'd hate him. This morning was a complete waste of time, he thought. "Stop scowling Severus!" she warned.

"I'm not scowling," he muttered as he began to cut his pancakes. "I'm thinking."

"Well stop. She's almost here," Headmistress McGonagall.

Snape rolled his eyes and looked back down at his plate. "Sorry I'm late!"