This one-shot MIGHT have been inspired by several youtube videos of wonderful Kirk/Spock crack!fluff. . . . -shift eyes- As for this story itself, I have no idea if it's crack OR fluff; I just know that it's silly, then serious, then. . .well, you'll see. ^^

Hopefully everyone will enjoy it, anyways. This is my first time slashing Kirk and Spock, so any sort of feedback would be highly appreciated and very nice to read.

DISCLAIMER: I own none -sobs- Not even the Disney song.

WARNING(S): Strange hilarity and weirdness and crack and whatever abound. So, you have been forewarned. (Oh, yeah, there are swears, to. Some of them more-or-less 'F' related. Take heed).

XXX

"If there's a prize for rotten judgment. . . ." Jim mutters moodily to himself, glaring out into the deep, fathomless void of space before him. "Well. Guess I've already won that, huh?" He snorts. Then he shakes his head and takes a step back from the window. A scowl tugs across his tanned and handsome face. "No man is worth this goddamn aggravation. That's ancient history- been there, done that-!"

There are footsteps echoing behind him suddenly and Jim gives a start, nearly jumping out of his boots. Blood swims to the surface of his cheeks in irritated humiliation as he turns around.

What the hell? It's. . .Bones. And Uhura. They don't look too happy. Jim instinctively takes a step back, closer to the window. Farther from them. Oh, shit! They didn't hear me go off, did they?

"Who the hell do you think you're kiddin'?" Bones barks gruffly. Confirming all of Jim's fears and suspicions in that one, spearing look the doctor gives him. And not only does the blush redden in the captain's face, his scowl creases deeper and he hastily turns away again. He can't take those plainly accusatory looks the pair is tossing his way.

"He's the Earth and Heaven to you." Uhura adds. Unhelpfully. "You can try to keep it hidden, but honey? We can see right through you."

Jim grits his teeth and tries to force out the images whirling through his head. A certain Vulcan. A pair of piercing black eyes, near as infinite as the reaches of space itself. Staring at him. Straight through him. There's nowhere left to hide because those eyes crumble all of his walls and he can't even breathe-

"Man, you can't conceal it." Bones grunts.

And then there's a gentle hand on Jim's arm. "We know how you feel," Uhura gazes up at him steadily, a wry twitch to her lips, "and who you're thinking of."

More than horrified at the embarrassing (and completely untrue, dammit!) turn this confrontation has lead to, Jim yanks his arm away from the Lt. In fact, he's so desperate to get the hell away from his friends that he covers his ears as he starts backing away in a different direction. Shaking his head some more.

Acting childish and in denial about it. About everything.

"No chance, no fucking way!" Jim snaps. "I won't say it- no, no!"

Uhura rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "You swoon and you sigh over him, Captain. Why even deny it?"

Bones nods to this, though he doesn't speak. He's staring at Jim with a frustrated, but pointed expression, like, Yeah, it's pretty fucking obvious.

What the hell brought this on? Why were they ganging up on him, from out of absolute nowhere? What has Jim done to warrant this? Can't they leave him to be in misery, in peace? Hell! His First Offices will never reciprocate these terribly misguided feelings of his!

"It's. . .it's too- cliché!" Jim sputters, stumbling backwards and out of the door. "I won't say I'm in love."

The air-locked glass doors slide shut with a shink. And Jim is practically running past crewmates and engineers so Bones and Uhura can't catch up to him. His heart is pounding. His blood is singing, stinging. He's done nothing and yet he's struggling to even keep his lungs working right as he gasps in a breath.

"I thought my stupid heart has learned it's lesson?" He mutters. His hands are shaking when he runs them over his face. "I mean, it feels so good when you start out. . . ."

A feverish play of colors and sounds and those dark eyes and those quirks in his mouth when Jim can break through that Vulcan mask- working with him and being close with him and breathing near him and breathing him in-

GET A GRIP, KIRK! Jim's head screams at him. Unless you want to fucking cry your heart out. But the swirls of images don't stop rushing through his brain. They're branded onto the insides of his eyelids, and the rush of feeling and adrenaline sizzling through his veins at the memories is painful and terrible and incredible and beautiful. . . .

The Captain runs into an silent, empty wing. But there's not time for relief, not even a moment for him to try and get a handle on his wildly reeling emotions. How the fuck did Bones and Uhura get here first?! For crying out loud, Jim didn't even know where he was going, and yet, here they are!

"Dammit Jim, you keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling!" Bones throws his arms up in the air. Clearly a tad exasperated.

"Yeah, baby, wear not buying. Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling." Uhura smirks, standing on McCoy's left. Her hands are on her hips.

"Face it like a grown-up-" Bones starts.

"When are you going to own up that you got it bad?" Uhura finishes.

Besides the annoyance from Bones, the two look weirdly amused in their own way as Jim, again, trips over his feet and back out the door. Now they're stalking me! How the hell is this going to help anyone?! I do not have it bad for Spock! I don't, I don't-!

"WRONG. No chance, guys! I won't say it again, okay?" He yells. Burning so red it's a wonder that his head hasn't rocketed off of his neck. "NO!"

"Give up, Jim. Give in-" Bones moves to dart after him, and Uhura certainly isn't shy about doing just that, either.

"Check the grin." Her smirk broadens triumphantly. They're too close to him and why hasn't he started running again-?

Wait, WHAT?Jim, horrified, brushes his hand against his mouth. The upturned corners are a complete give away. Fuck me, I am grinning! How the hell did that happen?!

"You're in love." Bones seems to confirm this train of thought with a crooked, surly little grin himself.

This is just too much. If Jim takes much more of this, he's likely going to end up spontaneously combusting on the spot and then Spock will never know- NO! That's just it: Spock can't know! He can't ever know! It took them so painstakingly long to get even a friendship out of the Vulcan; how could he ruin that by. . .by. . ?

"This scene won't play, guys!" Jim calls over a shoulder. Voice cracked. Maybe even slightly unhinged in its breathlessness. He's darting back down the corridor, full-out sprinting now. Much to the shock of the various onlookers. "I won't say I'm in love!"

"You're doin' flips!" Bones yells behind him. But he sounds frighteningly close in the long hall. Which means they're coming after him. . .again!

"Read our lips-" Jim can hear the smirk ringing sharp in Uhura's stalled comment, which she and Bones both finish together. Loudly. So loudly that everyone in the hall and likely in every room branching off of it lapse in an entirely shocked silence that follows the outburst.

"YOU'RE IN LOVE!"

Jim's boots skid along the floor as he takes a sharp turn. Right for the bridge, he's headed. He doesn't know why. Because that's only going to make things worse. . .isn't it? Spock is on the bridge. Jim has barely flung himself through the sliding door but he can recognize that sharp, straight-backed profile of the Vulcan at a glance, anywhere.

At least Spock appears to be the only person on the bridge. No, that's a bad thing! Jim looks around wildly, practically hyperventilating as his anxiousness expands into full-blown panic. It's too late for escape, though. He's made an awful lot of noise, and his breathing is loud and so heavy that Spock undoubtedly heard him the second he fell through the doors.

The Vulcan turns from his readout viewings with, as per usual, a smoothed and unreadable face. But there seems to be a slight raise in one of his brows as he stares at Jim. And Jim stares back. Recognizing the tiny display of emotion with a jolt somewhere in his midsection.

Spock opens his mouth, on the verge of no doubt asking whether or not his Captain has finally cracked (or something along those lines), when Bones and Uhura ram into Jim from behind. The impact almost sends the three sprawling to the floor. Almost.

"Goddamit- you're way off base!" Jim hisses at the pair, pushing them away from him violently. His eyes are wide and blue and pleading, begging them to leave him alone. Please! He thinks desperately. Spock can't know, he can't!

"I won't say it, so get off my case!"

Knowing smirks. Flashing eyes. And they're not moving. While Spock takes two steps closer, hands folded behind his back, observing the entire exchange with no expression. Or, at least, an expression fighting hard to remain expressionless, what with the bursts of confusion and bewilderment inside of the Vulcan's mind. His brows furrow in the slightest. Like he might just be. . .concerned.

"I won't say it, I won't. . !" Jim mumbles. But even he doesn't hear the argument in his voice anymore. His temples are throbbing and the floor is tilting strangely beneath his feet; this entire scenario has been so insanely surreal that he isn't even sure if it is real anymore.

His shoulders buckle. He struggles not to sigh. His eyes are burning, and he's glaring without effort at the door behind Uhura and Bones.

"Man, don't be proud." Bones shrugs, sounding subdued himself.

"It's okay," Uhura nods in agreement. "You're in love." The simple statement is a quick, meaningful whisper in his ear. Then, Bones and Uhura are gone. And the lowering of tensed and heavy quiet in the bridge chokes Jim.

No. . .must not. . . He won't. . . There's no way that Spock feels. . .what I feel. He doesn't. I know he doesn't. I can't wreck what we already have. . !

Hands clenching and unclenching loosely by his sides, Jim finally gives up. He slips them into his pockets and turns to face the Vulcan. He has moved quite close to Jim in the last few, dizzying moments. There's about a foot, or maybe two, or crackling air left between them.

And as Jim stares into those perceptive dark orbs, he know that he can't disguise the feelings flooding his own eyes. They blur by so fast and so vivid and so clear that he can't stop them. And from the slight, ever-so-slight widening of Spock's own gaze, he sees everything.

He sees the doubt and the anger and the aguish and pain in every shade of blue in the Captain's unblinking irises. He can hear each and every confession of happiness and sadness and frustration and longing in this silence, in the rough, uneven hitch of Jim's breath, in the furious stabbing of Jim's heart, in the soft rustle of fabric as Jim shifts his feet. . .

. . .and then clears his throat.

"Captain?" Spock urges. There is a strange shift in his mechanical tones. Their pitch is lower. Softer. The Vulcan takes one more step closer and Jim knows that this is wrong and he shouldn't and it wouldn't be fair and it's going to hurt so fucking much. . !

At least, out loud. . . I won't say. . . I can't say. . .

But the battle is quickly, exhaustingly, lost. Instead of hunching forward and drawing himself in, to protect himself from the whiplash that this comment will no doubt cause him, Jim stands up straight. Lifts his chin and holds back his shoulders, determination and resignation in the firm set of his jaw and the blazing in his blue, blue eyes.

"I'm in love, Spock." His voice rings loud and clear. No hesitation. No misgivings. The plain and obvious truth.

Overwhelmed by the smoldering intensity of the situation, and terrifyingly, frantically attempting to get his raging emotions under control, Spock cannot speak for several moments. And then for several more minutes after that. A hardness has crept into Jim's eyes. A barrier.

A last minute defense.

"And why does this declaration of illogical human emotion concern myself, Captain?" Spock finally manages to get out.

Jim's smile is tight. He wears it to draw attention away from how badly he's shaking. What the hell am I doing, here?! Dammit Bones! Why the fuck did you and Uhura have to do this to me?!

"Why, don't you know?" He asks quietly. "I haven't made it clear enough?"

Spock draws in an unsteady breath. "I assure you that if you had, I would quite easily understand what this matter is to which you are referring-"

"I'm in love, Spock." Jim interrupts the Vulcan. Expression blazing and fierce and confident and. . .glorious. Radiant. Like the sun.

"I'm in love with you."

I can't believe I said it.

Those five words hang between them like a kiss. Uttered so softly, so shamelessly, so heartbreakingly sad from Jim's mouth. His lips curling and curving every syllable with slow and deliberate tenderness. He looks at Spock, and his gaze is so just damn blue and precise and beautiful, that it burns the Vulcan's soul to stare back.

But he can't turn away.

And as the silence stretches, and small moments slip into endless eternities, Jim is trying to pretend that he can't feel the swift and agonizing tear in his chest, or hear the despairing crack of his heart when Spock takes a step back.

"You. . .are in love. . .with me." It might be a question. It might be simple utterance of the truth. Whichever, Spock says it with audible, disbelieving wonderment in his trembling voice.

Jim merely nods. But before he can apologize, bow his head, and run away, Spock is retaking that step forward, and then in one last stride, has crushed the Captain inside an embrace so tight and so desperate Jim gasps. Astonished.

"If you are not unwilling to state such an illogical sense of human sentiment to me again. . ." Spock gives a tiny shudder within the equally tight and crushing folds of Jim's arms. "I would not be unwilling to hear it again." He whispers.

Jim can't even begin to understand what the fuck just happened. In fact, the only thing he finds himself capable of doing is burying his face into the crook of Spock's neck and grinning so wide that it hurts his face.

"I'm in love with you. I love you."

And , who am I kidding? It feels so fucking good to say it out loud.

"I believe. . .that I love you as well. . . Jim."

THE END!