A/N: This was birthed from a verbal fumble of a friend of mine. She switched fandoms too fast and her tongue got whiplash. In the ensuing hilarity, She tried to force me to promise never to write this fanfic. I laughed and promised her I would. This one is for you Rae Himura.

Stark Trek

Tony was not a stupid man. As a matter of fact, he's actually a very brilliant one. He could understand the concept of the Multi-Verse and even make sense of the mathematic equations that validated it.

The thing is, there is a very big difference between knowing that there is undoubtedly a universe where Kirk and Spock boldly go where no man has gone before, and being retrieved from space via the tractor beam of the Star ship Enterprise.

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Captain James T. Kirk made his way down to the retrieval bay alone. Whatever this thing was, it was believed to be responsible for the destruction of a planet's moon. The idea that something that small could do so much damage… It set his teeth on edge.

He entered the bay to find a rather battered looking red and gold robot. Kirk looked at the thing for a long moment before nodding to the guard and stepping inside The thing was leaning against one of the walls, head cocked to one side, staring into space as if it were in deep thought. "Hello," Kirk finally said, deciding that civility would not be completely amiss, "I'm Captain James T Kirk of…"

The robot cut him off, looking up at him and finishing the thought for him, "The Federation Star ship Enterprise." With a sort of sarcastic humor in its robotic voice, it went on as if by rote, "Your five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before."

"How did you know that." Kirk eyed the robot carefully.

The thing made a sound like a robot snort. "I own a TV." It reached up towards its head and Kirk's hand darted to his phaser.

"What are you doing?"

The robot held up its hands. "Deactivating the voice modulator."

Kirk studied it for a moment, like he might a person, to see if he could tell if it was being honest. Finally, he nodded, hand still on his phaser.

The thing reached for its head again, but instead of pushing a button or flipping a switch, it pulled straight up. With a hiss, the head came off, revealing a human face. The man stood, holding out a hand. "James Tiberius Kirk, it's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Tony Stark."