A/N: Sue me for taking ten thousand years to update. Seriousleh, I just found something out that fucking killed my awesome strike, so I totally had to bury my mind in a pit of sorrow for awhile…But I'm better! Ish! XD

FML.

SP4L

-Jazzelz-

"Pleaseeeeeeee Kyle?" I pleaded, clasping my hands together and opening my big, blue eyes in order to guilt him into answering.

"NO. Absolutely NOT" He glared in my direction, me responding with a pout.

"Oh but it would make Christy so HAPPY!"

"Don't get me wrong Kody, I LIKE Christy…I like her a lot….But I don't know if I can handle that kind of relationship at THIS age"

"You little fucking pansy, your 14 years old!"

"You just proved my POINT!"

"Kyle, pretty pretty please! If you don't, I'll tell Cartman that God was Jewish" I crossed my arms over my chest as he glanced at me in horror.

See, If Cartman found out God was Jewish, he would steal my time box, go back in time and stop Mary from baptizing him, creating a time paradox. How do we know? Well, this all started because some chick named Cleo told him Hitler was gay…..

"FINE. But I am not wearing a tux" Kyle replied

Happy happy joy joy! YES!

"Oh Kyle, baby, you HAVE to wear a tux! You look so sexy in crisp black" I cooed, resulting in him blushing like mad, then straightening his collar.

"Well…if you say so…"

The male ego is key in order to get them to do what you want. Write this down, girlies. You'll need it when your husband won't get his lard ass off the couch to fix the fucking drain….

Kyle. Check. Now I needed some excuse to get Christy on my Dad's boat…

…..Why the fuck are you looking at me like that? Is it cuzz I said my dad has a boat? HE DOES!

Hmm…I need to do some planning…Illy, think think….

-------------------------------------Magical Time skip, 2 hours later-----------------------------------------

"C'mon Christy! We're going shopping!" I dragged my best friend out of the school, her brown eyes looking sickened at the thought.

"SHOPPING? THE TORTUREEEE!" She screeched.

"Oh shut UP Chris, we need to get you a white dress, and I need a blue one…" She stopped.

"Why do I need a white dress? What did you do?" She questioned

Groan.

"My dad is having a party on his boat tomorrow, and ii am not watching all these stuffed shirt rich people by myself" I lied. Hey, it was for her own good! She'd probably hate me AFTER, but for now, I have to lie to her. It's a best friend thing my friends.

"Really….well why white?" Does she have a question for everything? Damn it!

"White's your color. Blue is mine. Anymore questions Sherlock?" I answered, getting rather annoyed.

"JCPenny or Macy's?" She grinned, whipping out the credit cards.

Let the games begin!

"I don't want it to be…too extravagant…are you sure I need all this flair?" Christy asked me while I was pinning back her white dress. It was a little short, about an inch below her knees. It had a grey belt over the waste, and from the belt down it shimmered with sparkles. God she looked so pretty! And her earrings and necklace and heels just complete it! ENVY!

"Oh absolutely! You must look good in front of English muffins!" She giggled at my comment, then scowled again

"But your dress isn't nearly this flashy…"

Tis be true. Mine was light blue, with a white sash over my waste, it had sewn white flowers from the bottom of the dress up to my thighs, and the top had little bits of glitter on it. But the point was it's all about HER. NOT ME!

"Doesn't matter. We're getting the dresses. And I'm buying them"

"But I don't understa-"

"Don't try sweetheart, It'll fry your brain like eggs on a sidewalk"

We changed back into our normal clothes, Paid for the dresses then walked out of the mall.

I couldn't WAIT for tomorrow! If only there was some sort of way to make time go faster…

-------------------- May 8th, 2010 2:10pm----------------------

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES C'MON!!!!

It was Saturday! That means it was time for my plan to start! YESSSSS….

I quickly ran into my bathroom, stripped of my rabids pajamas, and showered. I had to smell awesome for today, it was crucial. I wrapped my hair in my towel, stepped out of the shower and starred at myself in the mirror

"Ello mirror, I can't dance today. I'm busy" I grinned and grabbed my makeup kit.

I hate the stuff, but hey, everyone needs a bit of it eh?

Light blue eyeshadow…light pink lipgloss…SLIGHT blush..done

I grabbed the blue dress from off my wrack and threw it on. Blue pumps and all. I decided on wearing my hair up in a bun with rhinestone hair clip pinning it up. I grabbed the crown that my mom wore at her sorority reunion, threw it in my purse and went downstairs

"Aww, you look normal" Kael laughed.

"Shut up, DAD! I'M USING YOUR BOAT NOW!" I screamed into the hall across from the kitchen. Hearing a grumbled ''alrighty then'' I smiled and left, flipping off my moronic brother.

The boat looks so MAGICAL! GOO RAH! It had white and red streamers, a red carpet leading to the alter, HUGE bundles of flowers everywhere, and white chairs lined up next to the carpet. God it looked pretty! You're probably wondering why the hell there's an alter at a party? If you haven't figured it out yet, that's sad.

REALLY Sad.

I already picked up Christy (she had no clue what was going on) She was in the backroom, doing who-knows-what. I was fixing one of the fruit arrangements when I heard a loud-

"AWWWW! IT'S SO CUTEEE!" Ah, fuck. I see Wendy and Bebe are here…

"This is gonna be the best ceremony in the history of ever!" Bebe screeched, jumping up and down in her heels. Part of me hoped they broke, the other part of me hoped she'd fall right off this boat.

"It's gonna be fun. Is Kyle here yet?" Wendy questioned, darting her blue eyes around.

"The Jew says he'll be out in a minute. And I'm disgusted I'm actually attending this bull-shit" I heard Cartman spit from behind us. " The only reason I'm here is because Cleo asked me to. And her boobs hypnotized me into coming. So shut the fuck up and wipe those god forsaking smirks off your faces" He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Aw, he looked cute in his tux…..

"Oh shut UP Fat-ass. You came here because you wanted to see Kyle blush like mad" Kenny grinned, leaning on the alter. Where is everyone COMING from?

"And just what would I get from watching Kahl blush Kenneh?" Cartmaned fumed, narrowing his eyes at Kenny

"For one, you would get a boner, and for two, a smile on your lips"

"Oh fuck off, you poor piece of crap"

"Suck it, fatboy"

"AYE!"

Ah they went a little nuts after..which was entertaining to watch, but then it all got quiet when Kyle and Stan walked in

"And introducing for the first time in the history of our age group, Kyle Broflovski!" Stan 'introduced' Kyle, he strode all ego like and proud and it was nice to watch…

Until he fell on his face -record scratches- ouch.

"HAHAHAAA!" Cartman roared with laughter, and knowing him, he'd never stop. Wendy smacked him upside the head, earning a "AYE! CALM DOWN HOE!"

"Where the fuck is the priest?" I asked particularly no one.

"I'm right here!" We turned around and faced Cleo, in a bishops gown

"Ello ladies and gentlemen I am the Cleo Matthews" She bowed and I grinned.

"Alrighty people, take your places and imma go get Christy" I said and dashed out the backway

"YO CHRISTY! GET IN HERE!" I pulled her away from the guitar she was examining and placed the crown on her head

"What's this for?" She asked, clearly bewildered.

"Nothing, just hold this bouquet and where the crown" I answered, taking her arm in mine.

"Damnit Kody what the hell are you doing?" She half yelled, half asked as I guided her towards the door

"Remember how I asked you if you wanted to marry Kyle someday?"

"Yes…but what does that have to do with anyth-" She was cut off by the doors blaming open, revealing the beautiful chapel behind

"OH MY G-"

"Theme Music!" I cued before she could finish. The wedding march played, only with a more hip-hoppy techno remix beat. Christy had gone pale as I lead her down the isle, And I was getting worried. Had I done the right thing or has my medaling ruined my friendship? I gave her over to Kyle, nodded to him then joined Bebe and Wendy on her left.

"Dearly beloved we have gathered here this day to join these two awesome people known as Kyle Brovfloski and Christy Morjeon in not so holy matrimony" Cleo began, raising her hands in the air. Christy was still pale, and Kyle was fidgetting. Ah, crap…

"Now see here Kyle, do you take Christy here to be your loverly woman, to have and to hold, to murder guys who go anywhere near her, and to protect her without crying like a pansy?" Cleo asked, starring Kyle down.

"I-I do?" He stuttered, Kinda like Butters…

"Do you Madame Christy, take here, to be your sexeh man-cake, to love and make out with, to care and go out with, and to destroy any woman who gets within a 25 radios of him?" Cleo questioned Christy.

"I-I-"

"ARGH!!! DON'T DO IT! IT'S TO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek, suddenly, from the crowd behind us screeched.

"SHUT UP TWEEK!" Red yelled, throwing her shoe at him

"ACK! JUST WARNING THEM!"

……..Anyway, back to Christy……..

"I-I guess I do…" Christy nodded, almost unsure of what she had said

"ALRIGHT! You may SEXILY and ROMANTICALLY make out with your woman now!" Cleo proclaimed, watching the awkward couple while smiling

When I say awkward, I mean the cute awkward! They SO love each other but are just embarrassed like hell! But they finally managed to get a cute kiss in between it, resulting with a hand full of "gag-me's'' from the audience.

YES!

I pulled Christy into an embrace. My plan had worked! Success is mine!

-------------------------Few days after the wedding----------------------------------------------------------------------

So Christy and Kyle were know helplessly in love, I'm still her best friend and life rules. I had forgotten about it, kinda, when I got a call from the bride herself

"Kody, can I ask you something?" I heard her from over the technology in my hand

"Sure, lay it on meh Chris!"

"Why'd you do it?" she whispered, me not getting the gist of what she said until it hit me

"Hey, you said you pictured it. I made it real. It's just what I do, baby doll" I shrugged and leaned back on my bed, twirling my blue black hair between my fingers.

"Is that really then reason?" She continued the question

"Yup. I love you Chris. I'd do anything to make you happy!" I replied honestly. Hey, she's my best friend!

"Oh…oh thanks so much Kody!….I'm gonna have to repay you" I could just taste her grin, but wait wha? Repay me? Wait a minute here…

"What do you mean repay me?" I grilled her, quirking my eyebrow in suspicion

"You like Stan don't you?"

"Kind of wh-….CHRISTY! YOU WOULDN'T DA-"

"MWAHAHAAAA!" She laughed, thrusting down the phone

-Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppp-

Oh shit….

And thus concludes my little twoshot :D I hope you liked it Christy! 3 The characters weren't in character, I KNOW…but that wasn't what I was thinking about. All I thought was Christy. Kyle. Love. That's IT!…..Dudes…I wanna change my username…XD So I have a few suggestions…you guys can tell me what you think yes?

1) California Gruesome

2) xiTheRandom

3) NOOO! KEEP THE USERNAME YOU HAVE NOWWWW!

I'd like it if you'd help me! Review review! Bai bai now! ^_~