Not the pairing I usually write, so sorry if it's not up to standard.
Dedicated to Diehardstormhawksfan (that is a mouthful), for her amazing fics and pure awesomeness. :D I hope you like it!
Someone is screaming in my ears and I just want it to stop. I want everything to stop. I want to be dead, so I can't feel anything any more. Because this pain has ripped out my heart, thrown it in the dirt and stomped on it over and over, until I'm left an empty shell. The screaming is getting louder and louder. I can't stand it. All I can look at is my fingers entwined in his hair. My arms are wrapped around him, I cling to him, and I don't want to let him go. Ever.
Someone is trying to pry me off him, and I keep yelling No, no, no! Over and over, but they don't seem to notice, and pull harder and harder. I would swipe at them but I don't want to let go, I don't want to leave him. I know something bad will happen if I do. Instead I scream louder and louder but this person is relentless. But I come on top and soon they stop, and the tugging has turned into pleading, a hoarse, broken voice trying to coax me into letting him go. I very reluctantly take my hand out of his blood-matted hair and whack and whack at this person, willing for them to stop. "Oh, god, Piper, please." I know that voice. I associate it with a joyful, annoying boy with blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. It doesn't exactly sound like him though. He is dead inside, just like me.
I turn around to Finn, though I am still holding his body protectively behind my back. I bare my teeth at him, like a wild animal. "Piper, we have to go. We'll be dead too if we don't get out of here!" His normal happy but whiny voice is somber. Tears are streaming down his face, and his blue eyes are lost, like an orphaned cub. "Please?" He adds, and my face crumples and suddenly I'm crying, sobbing and hitting Finn over and over on the chest. "I won't leave him!" I scream, "How could you want to leave him too?!" I turn my back on him and continue hugging the man I love, the one who is now gone. Finn nods gravely, as if knowing this conclusion would come.
He takes one more step towards me. A fleeting thought swirls around my head, something about how Finn's hair is red, and how much he looks like an Aerrow with blue eyes. A strangled laugh escapes my throat, hysteria enclosing me and the laugh turns into heart-wrenching sobs. Finn gently tugs at my arm and for a second I let go of him, and that is all he needs. He pulls me off before I can calculate what happened. I get one more touch of his face, a soft caress. Finn's arms are steel bars; I am trapped in his embrace. I kick and punch him, even stooping to bite him. "Let me go! Let me go!" I want to clench my fingers in his hair, I want to smell his clothes, and I want to see his beautiful smile which made my heart flutter every time I saw it. I desperately want to kiss his tender lips. But I need to tell him I love him one more time. I need too.
I am on Finn's Skimmer now. I just want to jump off. I want to be with him. I've stopped screaming. I can hear Finn's sobbing over the throb of the engine. I can feel his tears beating pitter-patter on the top of my head. If I look up I'll see his lost eyes and I wouldn't be able to take that. I'd go insane. I'm already half-way there.
This morning, we were planning a dangerous mission. We were going to infiltrate Cyclonian dungeons. But these weren't any dungeons; they were guarded by the most elite Talons. Aerrow volunteered to go down and release the prisoners. I didn't want him to go at all. He had reassured me with a smile. Just to make sure he was safe though, I put my hand up to assist him. "Finn will come with me instead, ok?" he had said to me, and I sighed and agreed. And just before he left, he had turned to me with a determined glint in his eyes and murmured, "It's me, what's the worst thing that can happen?" I never saw him alive and breathing again. I never got to say I loved him one more time.
I open my eyes. I'm in my room, the glare from the window blinding me. I stumble to my door and wrench it open. Aerrow is standing there, his smile knocking the breath out of me. I flung my arms around him. "Oh, Aerrow, I had a terrible dream!" I breathed into his neck, clutching him tightly. He looks into my eyes. "I love you." he whispered, and steps out of my embrace. I smile and am about to answer back but he's not there.
He disappeared in front of my eyes. He's gone.
And again, I never get to tell him I love him.
I never will.
Aerrow didn't come back from the dead. She hallucinated him. Just in case any of you were confused.
Don't review! Did I mention I'm currently conducting an experiment to see if reverse psychology works? ;)