Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans, it wouldn't have gotten cancelled

I know, I hate the title too but i'm very tired and its all i could think of.

Alright so this is my first go at a titans fic so don't be too cruel

Should i continue?

Should i not?

I know its a bit (lot) ooc but bare with me.

I awoke to find my toes very cold and my head very hot. I first didn't worry me too much considering winter was coming on and Silkie had devoured the power cord of my heater. The second however was a little more concerning. I groggily wiped the sleep from my eyes and squinted into the light now flooding my room, half expecting to see Beastboy setting my pillow on fire. Instead my eyes fell upon a redheaded alien in a floral t-shirt holding a long black object and tugging on my hair.

"Starfire...are you straightening my hair?"

"Oh! Good morning Raven, forgive me, I did not mean to wake you."

"You're straightening my hair aren't you?"

"I awoke this morning feeling very much alive and full of energy, but no one else had risen yet so I-"

"You were actually straightening my hair while I was asleep."

"Well you never let me do it while you are awake."


"I suppose you do have a point there."

"Thank you, I thought I was being quite innovative."

She beamed happily, patted me on the head and floated over to my wardrobe. As I hauled myself into a sitting position I had to duck as Starfire flung various items of clothing at me.

"Dare I ask what you're doing now?"

"I am finding an outfit for you to wear today."

Oh no, the last 'outfit' she put together for me involved unicorns. And feathers.

"Um...can't I just wear my uniform?"

"No Raven, do you not recall? We are going shopping today with Bumblebee and Jinx."




"Oh...yeah...but Star," I said as I dodged a pair of pants "isn't the point of going shopping in the first place, that I don't have any nice clothes?"

"No Raven the point is to enjoy ourselves, to bond and to spend at least some on our monthly monetary sum before the boys fritter it away on junk food and the videogames."

How very devious of her.

"Wow Star, I'm impressed."

"Once again thank you." And she went back to her futile search for anything that could be deemed fashionable.

I dragged myself out of bed, made my way over to my dressing table and began to half-heartedly run a brush through my now nearly waist length hair. I really should get it cut soon but ever since it grew past my shoulders I can't do it myself and every time I went to the hairdressers the woman spent the whole time bombarding me with questions about how hot Robin's legs were and when did I think he would dump 'that alien chick', all the while waving her scissors dangerously close to my ear. Getting Starfire to cut it was out too seeing as the front bits were still shorter than the rest from the last time she decided I would look 'glorious' with a fringe.
Oh well, just let it grow Raven, and when it starts to become a safety hazard just get the kitchen scissors and hack it all off.
That right there's the master plan.

"Ooh ooh Raven, this is the one!"

I was jerked back to Earth by Starfire waving a light blue something in my face. Upon closer inspection I identified it as one of the hundreds of tops Starfire had either bought for me of forced me to buy for myself. This was one of the better ones though; there was some lace on the sleeves but at least there was no pink glitter involved and I could always snip off the lace while Star wasn't looking.
Why do all my plans involve scissors?

"Ok." I nodded and obediently changed into the shirt and some jeans I found hanging from the lampshade. When I was finished I held up my arms for inspection.

"Am I done?"

"I do not suppose there is any way I could prevail upon you to wear the lip colouring, is there?"

"No, no there is not."

"Then you are done...Oh!" She seemed to have been struck by genius once more "Come! We shall make the boys breakfast! They are always so kind, insisting we not cook for them, they deserve to be treated!"

With another giggle of joy she zoomed from the room, clapping her hands in excitement. Deciding not to burst her bubble by telling her that the reason for the boys 'insisting we not cook for them' was that whatever she prepared usually had the ability to crawl away and I always seemed to manage to set whatever I was trying to make on fire, whether I was using a stove or not.

When I arrived in the common room it was to find Beastboy and Cyborg waving waffles in each other's faces and Robin helping Starfire scrape her remaining zorga berries off the inside of the fridge.

"Uh, Star...I'm not sure these are still, you know...edible." He was saying, holding up a particularly greenish clump.

"Do not be silly Robin, the mould simply adds texture." Star giggled at her boyfriend's foolishness.

"Oh...um...o-of course...er... Good morning Raven."

"Morning." I grinned as Starfire waved at me and shoved a spoonful of mouldy berries into an unsuspecting Robin's mouth. I watched as our fearless leader turned the same shade of green as the alien fruit.

"They are good, yes?" Star's eyes glistened expectantly. It was a mark of their love that Robin swallowed the mouthful and nodded feebly before discreetly scrapping his tongue with a fork when she turned her back.

"Hey Rae!" Beastboy beamed dashing around the counter towards me still clutching his waffle.
I did not want to know how long he had been holding that thing.
"Would you please tell metal-butt here how much better tofu waffles are than those other cow by-products!"

Cyborg suddenly appeared on my other side. "Shut it green genes, everyone knows there's no substitute for a good old fashioned American waffle. Right, Raven?"

Why did they always ask me?

"Why do you always ask me?

This, I thought, was a fair and just question. It was ignored however, as the morons it was directed at were off in waffle world.

"Alright, the meat thing I kinda get, but why do you gotta be such a wimp about milk? Cows need to be milked! We're doing them a favour!"

"They only need to be milked cause humans made them evolve that way! It doesn't change the fact that you are drinking the life juice of cattle!"

At that point everyone in the kitchen turned to look at Beastboy with expressions ranging from bemusement to disgust.

"Yo man that's nasty..." Cyborg grimaced, holding his beloved waffles as far away from Beastboy as possible.

"Hey, you're the one who drinks it, not me." He shrugged, then turned back to me. "So tell him."

"Leave me alone Garfield."

"No, tell him that he's insane!" Cyborg huffed.

It's like I'm not even talking.

"Oh what, I care about innocent cows so now I'm crazy?!"

I could say anything right now and they wouldn't even hear me. Which I normally wouldn't mind but they keep trying to get me involved in this doomed conversation.


Ok enough of this.


"Guys, guys," I said, holding up my hands and making my way around the counter to where Robin and Starfire were trying to ignore the situation around them as best they could. "As I'm sure you know by now, after knowing me for many years, I simply live to solve your sad little problems for you-" they had the decency to look sheepish "- however this particular morning you'll have to excuse me, as I shall helping Starfire here prepare you all a lovely breakfast."

My sugary smile widened as I saw the horror on their faces.

"Oh yes! Fear not friends! It shall be a wonderful meal!" Star gushed; leaping towards the cupboard in search what I could only imagine was fungus.

Robin had stumbled over to stand with Cyborg and Beastboy and they were now all wearing identical faces of terror. After a few minutes Beastboy seemed to have recovered enough to look at me reproachfully.

"Why?" He mouthed silently.

I shrugged as Starfire emerged from the cupboard, clutching several jars with murky, and no doubt, pickled contents.

"Now, boys, would you prefer five month matured foot of the Cartheckian squid or the ripened essence of Tameranian gong orb?" She asked, presenting two particularly festy looking jars.

There was a moment of silent revulsion before Robin quickly glanced at his wrist and sprang back from the counter.

"Oh is that the time? I really have to get those police reports in, you know how they get when they're late." He blurted, rubbing the back of his neck.

"But Robin, you do not wear a watch..." Starfire blinked in confusion.

Knowing he had to act fast, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before bolting from the kitchen in the streak of multicoloured spandex. Star stood there, still holding her jars and looking slightly miffed. Cyborg took her momentary silence to announce that he had definitely put off patching up the hole in the T-Ship for too long and rushed off to fix it leaving Beastboy alone and practically sweating.

"Beastboy, you will remain, shall you not?" Star said hopefully, waggling the jars in his face.

"Oh no sorry Star, I-uh...I have to go too actually..." he gulped, slowly edging towards the door.

"Why must you?"


This ought to be good.


"Yes Garfield" I grinned, leaning against the counter "Do tell us."

He narrowed his eyes at me as Starfire moved to block the door.

"Gladly Raven, I'm very busy; you see...I have an appointment down at the...orphanage. I have to help hand out...puppies."

Puppies? Seriously?

"Puppies?" Starfire frowned in sympathy.

Oh come on! Even Star couldn't buy that.

"Yes" he nodded solemnly "you see the poor children, the lost their...roof in a...freak cyclone."

"Oh that is awful!" Star gasped.

"So you're going to give them puppies?" Even for one of Beastboy's lies, the logic was feeble.

"Yeah" he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world "Puppies make people feel better. Duh! And you know," he leaned in and whispered to Starfire "They're pretty sick kids...dying even!"

Dying orphans. He used dying orphans.

Star had tears in her eyes as she practically pushed him out door "Go! Bring those poor, deprived children their puppies!" She cried before closing her eyes and saying a silent Tameranian prayer for the non-existent terminal kids.

Azar help me.

Before the door of the common room slid shut Beastboy turned around and grinned triumphantly back at me.


I rolled my eyes at him in what I thought was a very 'you-are-a-moronic-imbecile-and-I-will-hurt-you-next-time-I-get-the-chance' sort of way. He just winked at me and ran off down the hallway before Starfire decided to make him a snack for the road.

Once her silent mourning was over Star looked at me disappointedly.

"So...I am guessing we shall not be making them breakfast after all."

When I first joined the Titans I would have just shrugged and walked out of the room to go get some meditation done, however the years of being forced to watch Disney movies with Starfire and Beast Boy and doing arts and crafts with Melvin, Timmy and Teether have made me go soft.

"Don't worry about it Star, you've still got shopping to look forward to, right?"

She nodded, somewhat less glumly but still not as bubbly as I had come to expect.

Don't say it.

But she's still sad.

I'm warning you, you'll regret it.

Shut up brain, I'm in charge here.

"I'll let you buy me something pink..."

Star's head snapped up and she looked at me sceptically.

"You are being serious?"




"And you will wear it when we go to the movies tonight?"

Absolutely not!

"If it means that much to you..."

It was nice knowing you.

"Oh Raven, that would be wonderful! Come!" She beamed, shoving the remaining zorga berries into her mouth and grabbing my arm, "we must not be late for our friends, go fetch your bag!"

Well at least she feels better.

Lazy thing that I am, I teleported up to my room, stuffed the essentials (money, communicator, house keys etc) into a bag I hoped remotely match what I was wearing and poofed back downstairs.

When Starfire was ready we snuck in Cyborg's room, stole the keys to the T-Car and made a mad dash for the garage before he could notice we'd stolen his baby.