Allo my duckies.
The last week of December flew by and New Years passed in a blur of homemade fireworks, extremely painful party games and life altering resolutions (I'm going to stop picking my nose. I will join a hockey team. I shall learn the art of basket weaving. I'm gonna install an indoor pool. I will never eat fungus again) and soon we found ourselves at the airport saying goodbye to Robin and Starfire.
"-And don't forget you've got a routine prison check at four tomorrow and when you write the report on that Killer Moth incident from yesterday you cannot use the words 'sadass' or 'douchebag'. Oh, and you'll need to-"
"Chill man," Cyborg grinned, plucking Robin's clipboard out of his neurotic little hands, "I can see you sweating."
"Yeah dude, we only do this every day of our lives." Beastboy smirked as he leant against a luggage cart (in an effort to look what I assume was meant to be nonchalant), sending it rolling off down the hall as he fell to the floor, emitting a high pitched squeal and waving his arms in panic.
Oh yes, the city is in safe hands.
I could see Robin was thinking along the same lines and Starfire put an arm around his shoulders, "You must trust in our friends, Richard, they are quite capable and I am certain the city will be in pieces upon our return."
Beastboy and Cyborg exchanged a look of amusement and Robin tried to laugh but it just came out sounding like a nervous cough.
"Um, Starfire I think you mean 'in one piece'." I pointed out.
At least I hoped that's what she meant...
"Was that not what I said?" She asked in confusion as an automated voice rung out though the speakers.
"All passengers of flight 235 to Cape Town please report to gate 5. Your flight is now boarding. I repeat-"
"Well, that's us." Robin said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
"Oh!" Starfire was jumping up and down on the spot in a mixture of excitement and anxiety, "I will miss you all so much!"
And thus the bone-shattering round of goodbye hugs began. We all got one from Robin (well the boys kind of did that slap-on-the-back-man-hug thing but whatever) and three from Starfire.
I got four because I'm special.
And I said I'd water her plants.
"I shall confide in you through daily letters," she promised me as the boys gave Robin an extra packet of Malteasers for the flight.
Yay for me.
"Uh...you really don't have to do that."
"It is no trouble, and do not worry, I shall be as detailed as possible."
Wait, detailed about what?
She giggled, glancing at Robin.
No! She means detailed about their light-hearted, child friendly frolics with the safari animals! Right? ...Right?
Sure she does, honey.
...Azar help me.
I was dragged from this highly scaring inner monologue by the happy couple's last goodbyes.
"See you guys in a week," Robin smiled, "C'mon Star."
Starfire called back to us as her boyfriend pulled off down the hall by the hand.
"See ya Star."
If you send me letters about Robin's chest, legs and/or lips, I will hit you with a brick.
When we finally lost sight of the redhead's waving hand through bustling crowd, Beastboy turned to us with a glint in his eye.
"Let's go buy expensive crap in the Duty Free!"
"Dude, you read my mind."
"To the man-perfume shop!"
Citizens, sleep soundly tonight; the highest calibre heroes patrol your city's streets.
When we arrived home an hour later we were in possession of two bottles of ''BANG!' fragrance for men', a map showing all the pubs in Dublin and an embroidered top hat.
I'm so glad I live with such intelligent young men.
"Do I not look ever so sophisticated, Raven my dear?" Beastboy spun through the common room doors, clutching the hat to his head and twirling an invisible moustache, speaking with a very poor English accent.
I fixed him with a withering look as Cyborg began to rummage through the fridge from anything he deemed worth eating.
"You know that's a woman's hat right?" I raised an eyebrow and he stopped mid leap.
"No, it's not..."
"It's got flowers on it, Lady Garfield."
He pulled the hat off his head dejectedly as I lamented the loss of what would have most certainly won us a slot on Funniest Home Videos.
"Why do you bully me?" He grumbled, plopping down beside me on the couch.
"Why do you insist on wearing women's' clothing?"
"Dude! It was one time on a dare! And you guys weren't supposed to be home for hours!"
You really don't want to know the back-story of that.
"Alright ya'll," Cyborg called to us as he lay our dining options out on the bench top, "we've got orange juice, the chicken nuggets we didn't finish from McDonalds, that omelette Star made last week, what I think is tofu...pudding? And cheese, if you're willing to scrape the mould off."
"Um...is starvation an option?" I asked as Beastboy prodded the pudding with a fork and it deflated.
"In this house? Always."
"Super, I'll go with that."
We spent the rest of our evening watching How I Met Your Mother (during which Cyborg and I got desperate and ate the chicken nuggets) and playing an insanely dangerous and violent game of snap (I was up against a metal hand and claws. I gave up for my safety) before the boys decided 10pm was the perfect time to start a Battlestar Galactica marathon and I went off to bed.
Up in my room I found that my communicator had five messages from Starfire, the most recent of which involved her whispering to the screen:
"The plane is very dark now, I believe everyone is asleep. Oh, no, the man in front of me is awake! Hello, sir! Ow! It is not nice to throw your shoes at people!...Would you like to play the game of noughts and crosses?"
It continued on like that for another fifteen minutes.
I love my friends.
"You pit sniffing crud eaters! Lemme outta here!"
The following day in accordance with the sticky notes Robin had left all over the fridge, Cyborg, Beastboy and I made our half yearly check of Jump City Penitentiary.
Aka the worst excuse for a jail I had ever had the pleasure throwing villains in.
"So, um, as you can see, we've still got the Hive Five behind bars," the prison guard winced as he guided us down the corridor lined with cells.
I should bloody well hope so, we only handed them in two days ago!
"Um...good for you!" Beastboy smiled half-heartedly at the guard but it didn't seem to boost his spirits any.
Who could blame him? He worked at the jail with the highest escape rate in the state and twice a year he had to show the people who caught the bad guys just how many they'd let out.
Couldn't be the most confidence-building career in the world.
"So, your boss done anything about the changes we recommended last time?" Cyborg asked as we turned a corner and Doctor Light waved at us dejectedly, "You know, about higher security detainment and electromagnetic force fields and reinforced titanium for the Metas*?"
"The official metal of the Teen Titans." Beastboy whispered to me, "Get it? Titanium? Titans? Man I've gotta start writing some of these down!"
"It really would be very easy to send you to the underworld," I told him as the guard explained to Cyborg that construction had been scheduled for 2030. "All I'd have to do it click my fingers and it's bye-bye Moron."
"You know, a lot of your threats involve sending me to hell. That's a bit extreme if you ask me."
"Thanks for noticing."
"Look man," Cyborg was saying as Beastboy glowered at me, "that's really not gonna work."
"Um, well, the executives are having a meeting in a few minutes," the guard checked his watch nervously. "Maybe you'd like to, uh, put forward your suggestions there, or-"
Cyborg perked up the way he always did when he thought he was about to achieve something.
"You know what Carl? I think I will. You two," he looked at Beastboy and I, "keep patrolling the cells, I won't be long."
Beastboy pulled himself into a flamboyant salute, knocking my hood off my head in the process. "Aye aye Captain Metalbutt! He said, causing the prisoners in the cells next to us to snigger and Cyborg to bury his face in his hand before following Officer Carl towards the meeting.
"We can't take you anywhere." I muttered. Scowling, I grabbed Beastboy by the ear and dragged him off down the corridor.
"Do you want me slap you in front spider-head-guy?"
"His name is Fang...and no."
"Then shut up."
We had been patrolling (i.e., wandering absentmindedly) the various levels of the prison for about twenty minutes and had noticed nothing suspicious. Well, not unless you count Dr Light trying to sell us a packet of M&Ms for twenty-five dollars the second time we passed his cell as suspicious.
And apparently the lack of excitement was getting to be too much for Beastboy.
I don't know what he was expecting; last time we came here they showed us a fifteen minute presentation on how they prevent the spread of fungal diseases in the shower room.
Starfire bought a copy.
"Wanna play I-Spy?"
"Ok, I spy with my little eye, something beginning with- ooh! Secret door!"
I folded my arms, "That's not how that game goes."
"No, secret door!" he said, pointing at a shadowy door at the end of the hall, marked 'STAFF ONLY'. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards it.
Finding that there was no doorknob in sight he looked at me expectantly, "Alright, time to use your magicy ghosty powers," he waved his hands at the door, doing what I suppose he thought were 'magicy ghosty' gestures.
"Um, no" I said, "we're meant to be inspecting the prison, and besides-" I pointed at the sign printed in bold red letters, "-we're not staff."
"Oh please, we're better than staff," he waved his hand dismissively, "and I don't know if you've noticed, but we're really not serving a purpose here, we're just going in circles."
...He does have a point.
Oh shut up, aren't you supposed to be my conscience? You know, telling me the right thing to do.
Who said anything about that? I'm just the voice you hear in your head. You're crazy.
"Beastboy, I don't think-"
"Ok, I didn't want to have to do this but," he pulled his communicator out of his pocket with an evil glint in his eye, "I've got Aqualad on speed dial and I know he's just dying to ask you to go to the aquarium with him."
Is he blackmailing me?
He can't blackmail me!
Oh, who am I kidding?
"You sonofabitch," I muttered and grabbing his arm a little harder than necessary, we walked through the locked door and we were instantly plunged into darkness.
"I hate you."
"Hey! It's not my fault!"
"Whose idea was it to go in there in the first place?"
"I thought it was gonna be some super ninja weapons room. How was I supposed to know it was the kitchen?"
"Still hate you."
Beastboy and I were sitting on the floor outside the meeting room, ten minutes later, soaking wet and covered from head to toes in a mixture of mustard and cornflakes.
I really just don't want to revisit that memory.
"So..." Beastboy began nervously, as I tried to scrape the gunk out of my hair, "I guess you don't wanna play 'What Animal Sound Is That?"
I gave him my most withering look; I wasn't even going to bother wasting my sarcasm on that.
"That was pushing it, eh?"
"Just a bit."
I thought you weren't wasting your sarcasm.
I think it's just instinct at this point.
We had been sitting in silence for a few minutes when Cyborg stormed out into the hall, turning in the doorway to yell back into the room, "And no, I will not loan you my sonic canon on weekends and Thursday game night!"
He stopped just as he was about to step on Beastboy, staring down at us in shock. It took him a minute to take in the sight of his teammates covered in what Starfire would deem 'breakfast', before he shook his head and said, "You know what? I don't even want to know."
"Can we please go home now?" I groaned, as we got to our feet and started down the corridor.
As we arrived at the car, Cyborg suddenly leapt in front of Beastboy and I, folding his arms.
"I know, ya'll aren't getting in the T-Car covered in that crap," he said, raising an eyebrow.
"Come on dude!" Beastboy whined, throwing his arms up in the air. "What are we supposed to do?"
"Well ya'll should have thought about that before you did...whatever you did."
"It was a simple mistake; could've happened to anyone."
"Yeah," I muttered, "with the intelligence of a soup spoon."
"Don't start with me, woman!"
"Look, you two can go figure this out," Cyborg said, getting into the driver's seat and winding down the window, "on your way home."
"Oh yeah?" Beastboy scoffed, crossing his arms, "What are you gonna do? Make us walk home?"
"I can't believe he's making us walk home!"
"So you're not talking you me, eh?"
"You can't possibly blame me. I'm a victim too!"
"Yeah, I know how you feel. Utter betrayal..."
"Raven! You shouldn't use that sort of language!"
"Just stop talking, Beast Boy."
"HA! You talked! I win!"
"Ow! What the hell? Lady, you just crossed a line!"
"Beastboy, if you do not leave me alone, next time I will use a sharper rock and it will be aimed at a considerably lower region."
"...A nice quiet walk home sounds lovely."
It was nearly six in the evening when we finally arrived back at the bay, (having flown most the way before being grounded by an attacking flock of seagulls trying peck the remaining cornflakes out of our hair) and as we reached the water's edge, I, more out of habit than anything else, formed a round, flat disc of dark energy under my feet. As I flew out over the bay a green eagle crashed down next to me, looking exhausted.
"Phew," Beastboy said as he changed back into human form, "that took a while."
To be completely honest most of my anger faded by this point but tuning out Beastboy was just second nature to me.
"Come on," he said, half grinning, half frustrated, "there's no way you're still be pissed at me."
"I can't believe, that after all these years," I smirked, "you still doubt my capacity to be pissed at you."
"Please," he wagged his eyebrows at me in a highly disturbing fashion, "you can't stay mad me."
I'm hurt; it's like he doesn't know me at all.
"I am in a constant state of being mad at you."
"Whatever baby, you know you can't resist the Green Machine."
I never thought my eyebrow raise could fail me, but for the first time in my life it didn't seem to go far enough.
You know what you have to do.
"Goodbye, Green Machine."
I waved farewell as the disc under where Garfield was sitting vanished and he, too shocked to transform in time, fell into the water below.
I started to float away, grinning to myself when suddenly I felt something wet and slimy wrap around my waist. I barely had time to scream before the green tentacle pulled me into the bay.
As my head broke the surface of the water, I looked around to see Beastboy floating next to me laughing his head off.
"GARFIELD MARK LOGAN I WILL END YOU!"
"You're all wet!"
All thoughts of superpowers vanished from my mind and I made a lunge towards his neck. Despite my enthusiasm, I didn't actually hit him very hard and he caught me underwater and threw me backwards.
"Wow Rae, check out your ninja moves!"
"Calm down," he laughed as I tried to hold his head under water. "You don't really want to kill me."
I punched the closest part of him I could reach. "Wanna bet?"
"Ok, ok!" Beastboy held up his hands in defeat. "I surrender!"
Submit to the power of my fists of fury!
You drank a little of the sea water didn't you?
Not intentionally...ugh, why is he still laughing?
"Shut up!"I splashed the water exasperatedly, instantly mentally facepalming myself for the childish gesture. "It's not funny!"
"Oh, come on," he guffawed. "Look at us!"
As much as I hate to admit it, my scowl may have turned into the tiniest smile as I took in my surroundings. Beastboy was grinning like an idiot, his sopping wet fringe plastered to the side of his face in a Bieber-like fashion as he bobbed up and down in the circle of yellow goo that was finally washing out of his clothes.
"Hate you," I smiled, shaking my head as he grinned happily back at me.
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
"Come on," I said, as I rose out of the water and turned back towards the tower, "we're gonna catch pneumonia."
"At least we got most of the crap off," Beastboy said before transforming back into a bird.
We flew on in silence until, more to myself than to him I said "You know, if you think about it, Aqualad was just living in the water for like a years before we met him. It kinda like having a creepy neighbour living in your pool."
I'd never heard a bird laugh before but (assuming that was what Garfield was doing), it sounded a lot like strangling a kitten.
Yes, I do know what that sounds like; we've faced some sick bastards in our time.
Poor Aqualad, I never had a problem with him before (after all he is, as Argent once noted 'bloody sexyfine') but ever since he started with this crush thing (which I still don't entirely comprehend), everything he did just seemed to be uber-weird.
I mean, he e-mailed me a shirtless picture of himself as a Christmas present!
It was especially scary considering I had a feeling that he expected me to respond similarly.
"You know, I was thinking," Garfield said as we reached the island and he turned back into himself, "really we've got no one to blame-"
"I mean, we could have been mugged just because he didn't want to get his stupid car dirty. I don't really see what the big deal is, I mean, he like has to rebuild it all the time anyway."
"You have a point," I said, beginning to trudge up to the front door, "but in all fairness I doubt we'll ever get mugged."
"We're only kids."
"We're seventeen; I'm nearly eighteen."
"It's getting dark."
"We have superpowers."
"He has a duty of care Goddamnit!"
"So, what do you want to do about it?"
H e looked thoughtful as we pushed the doors open. "We could fill the T-Car with tofu."
"He'd just make us clean it up."
We got into the elevator and started up towards the top floor.
"Wait," he said, "so you're seriously gonna help me get back at him?"
"Garfield," I said seriously, "I had to wear a leotard full of mustard today, and that man just prolonged the experience. Vengeance shall be mine."
"Wow, it's so nice to be one the good side of your anger issues for a change. So what should we do?"
I thought for a minute then grinned, "I've got an idea."
That night we reset the tower's security settings and changed the override password to 'Cyborg is a mega sucky crap tool' (Beastboy picked it) before luring Cyborg outside with a turkey leg on a piece of string (I am not joking) and activating the lockdown system.
"Well, it's been a pleasure doing business with you, Rae," Beastboy said over the muffled sounds of the great metallic douchebag's furious yells from outside.
"Likewise, Gar. Goodnight."
And we went off to bed.
What can I say? You don't mess the Titans.
(Especially if you are one.)
A/N: Hehehe...yeah I know I suck, but writer's blocks a biatch.
But enough of my excuses, you've heard them all before.
Lol sorry, like nothing happened in this chapter, which i feel bad about so hopefully that will motivate me to write the next chappie faster.
(so much work to do even though it the holidays, WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?)
*Btw, for those of you who don't know/aren't as geeky as moi; metas are what they call the ppl with powers in the comics. But you're smart kiddlings you probably figured it out/didn't even notice cause I over-think everything.
Please Review, you make my life :D (my, that sounds a bit desperate...)
xoxo - lots of lurve