Title – I'm not singing soft kitty

Rating - K+

Summary - Post ep. Large Hadron Conductor. Penny and Sheldon spend Valentines day together and take care of each other in mutual illness. Friendship fic. One-shot.

Comments - Some dialogue words are intentionally misspelled to indicate pronunciation. If you say it out loud you'll get it.

"Sheldud, I got the tea the last three tibes. It's your turd."

"Fide." Sheldon wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and carefully stood up from his spot. "You don't do it right adyway."

Penny rolled her eyes as she watched Sheldon waddle into the kitchen and prepare the herbal tea that he was so picky about.

"Here," Sheldon muttered, handing Penny a steaming cup when he returned.

"Thake you."

Sheldon cleared his thought, but a tiny cough soon graduated to hacking. "Your welcub," he replied when he recovered.

"I wudder what Ledord and Raj are doing right dow," Penny wondered out loud.

Sheldon sniffled. "I don't."

The two sat in silence, or what would have been silence if not for the coughing, sniffling, nose blowing and sneezing, for the next twenty minutes. That was when Penny noticed Sheldon stairing at her. Not a creepy stair, more like pleading.


"What, Sheldud?"

"Sing Soft Kitty."

"Doe, Sheldud. I'b sick too."

"That's dot by problub."

Penny rolled her eyes and turned her head away from Sheldon.

"I'b sick because of you." Sheldon debated. He leaned toward Penny, who leaned back away from Sheldon. "You owe be."

Sheldon leaned back into his spot and Penny let out a raspy sigh. "Fide," she gave in and began to sing. "Soft kitty, warb kitty, little ball -" Penny interrupted herself with a fit of coughing. When she recovered, she resumed. "Little ball off -"

"Doe," Sheldon interrupted, "Start over."

"Doe, Sheldud. Forget it. I'b dot singing Soft Kitty."

Apparently Sheldon was too week to fight Penny, because he did not argue with her. They just sat there just as before for another twenty minutes.

Sheldon reached for the remote. "Saturd 3 in od."

"Sheldud," Penny said before he could turned on the television.

"Yes, Peddy?"

"I biss Ledord."

"I don't." Sheldon


"Yes, Peddy?"

"Sing Soft Kitty."

Sheldon set the remote down next to him and gave Penny a look of shock. "You want be to sing Soft Kitty to you? What good would that do be?""

Penny pouted. "Please?"

"Doe. I refuse to sing Soft Kitty to you whed I ab the party who is sick."

"Okay, so we're both sick. Cad we sing it together?"

Sheldon cocked his head to one side and thought for a moment. "I suppose that would be an acceptable comprobise."

Knowing Sheldon would not leave his spot, Penny shifted closer to him so that their shoulders were almost touching. They both coughed into a Kleenex and then began to sing.

"Soft kitty, warb kitty

little ball of fur

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty

Purr, purr, purr."

"I feel better dow," Sheldon admitted.

"Be too," agreed Penny.

"Happy Valentides day Shelly Welly."

"Happy Valentides day Peddy Weddy." Penny made a confused look. Sheldon explained, "I was bibicking your childish redering of a nabe pared with a rybing donsedse syllable intended as a quote 'terb of endearbent',"

Penny slowly nodded. "Uh hu. Yeah, I got that."

"Cad I wach Saturd 3 dow?"


Sheldon clicked the television on and adjusted the volume to a favorable level for ears already ringing from the sinus pressure. He sat in his spot and watched one of his favorite sci-fi shows. He was right about Saturn 3, but what he hadn't realized was that there was a Saturn 3 marathon. It was three episodes later before he gave any thought to Penny. He glanced over and only turned his head when he saw that Penny was fast asleep. Sheldon turned the volume down one point and looked again at his roommate's girlfriend. She then made a sound in her thought reminiscent of an angry grisly.

"Oh, doe!" Sheldon whispered in terror. He quickly grabbed the remote and turned the volume up six points. It was a commercial, so he turned his attention momentarily back to Penny."

"Happy Valentides day."