A/N: OMG According to sexuality dot about dot com, May is Masturbation Month. When I read that, how could I not respond? Seriously! (Also seriously, I have found about dot com to be a wonderful resource on many various topics. I didn't know they had a section devoted to sexuality, but wow!!)

May 1:

God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time. – Robin Williams

It wasn't the first time Hikaru Sulu was glad that the showers in the Officers' gym were private, complete with locks. It also wasn't the first time he had taken advantage of the privacy they offered. Nor was it the first time he had had to seek refuge in the locker room after giving a fencing lesson to Pavel Chekov.

With the gods as his witness, Sulu's first ever loss to Pavel was not intentional. He had just been…distracted. By the graceful way Pavel thrust and parried. The way his hips flexed when he was in the middle of an advance-lunge. How could he not be distracted? No one had the right to look so appealing and beckoning while executing a Passata-sotto while Sulu's blade whizzed harmlessly over the top of the blonde curls so carefully protected by his helmet. To be so innocently alluring was an unfair advantage, and Sulu was certain that had there been a human judge scoring the match, Pavel would have been immediately disqualified.

As it was, the electronic scorekeeper announced that Pavel had landed a fatal blow, and Sulu accepted his defeat gracefully. And gratefully. In truth, he could barely contain himself until he reached the locker room and the showers where he could take care of the source of his distraction in blissful privacy.

He stood as still as he possibly could under the steaming water, not wanting to risk detection. Surely if anyone saw him moving his feet more than one would normally during the course of a shower, they would know the reason why. His hands, however, were safe from curious eyes and were therefore far busier than would be expected in any instance, except for this one. Sulu also concentrated on not making any noise, except for the rushing of the blood in his ears. He was pretty sure if anyone was in the vicinity of the showers, they wouldn't hear that particular sound, as loud as it was to him.

With experienced hands and mental images he would never admit to having, at least not until he was sure the object of those desires was receptive to his thoughts, it wasn't long before the evidence of his success was being washed down the shower drain with the soap that had assisted his efforts. He took several deep breathes, turning his face up to the hot water hoping that if he encountered anyone once outside the shower, they would assume his face was glowing from the effects of the water.

Drying off slowly, to give himself time to recover and re-center, he finally stepped out of the shower. As much as he wanted to, he forced himself not to retreat when he found Pavel patiently waiting for him, sitting on the bench across from their lockers.

"Hey," Hikaru said, congratulating himself on sounding almost nonchalant.

"You vant to get something to eat?" Pavel asked with his typical sunny smile.

"Uhm…sure," Hikaru said, clearing his throat and wishing Pavel's smile hadn't reheated certain sections of his anatomy. "Why don't you go ahead? Since you're already ready. And then I'll be there soon."

"I do not mind the vaiting," Pavel said with a shrug. "It vill not be so long for you to be ready."

"Okay," Hikaru agreed, careful to keep his back to Pavel. It was a relief when Chekov started talking about a transmission he had gotten from his mother back home, sharing all those things every family went through, no matter where they lived. When Hikaru was finally dressed and ready to face Pavel, he closed his locker and turned to him with a nod. "Alright. Let's go eat."

"You are not vanting the shoes?" Chekov asked with a smile, looking at Sulu's bare feet.

"Oh," Sulu responded. And all he could think was 'busted.' "Yeah."