Whoot! Sorry for the delay... Gonna be a lot of time skips, but not big ones, more like scene changes:

Blood Drenched Scorpion- AU Fanfic


Yaoi Smut - SasoDei & KakuHida


An American knowing nothing of Tokyo in charge of the story. *Lee thumbs up*

Very Possible OOC


Pairings: SasoDei, KakuHida, KisaIta, My Usuals...

Phox stood outside by the company's shuttle bus waiting for the others to arrive. The first to show was Sasori with Deidara trailing sleepily behind. After all, Sasori was known for his promptness. Itachi and Kisame were the next to arrive, climbing into the bus without a word. Phox remained outside until the twins arrived with Madara and Tobi. Once Konan had arrived, she boarded the bus as well, squeezing next to Sasori.

They arrived at the airport in hardly no time at all. Konan could drive fast when she needed to. Thanks to Tobi's need of his stuffed animals, it took awhile for Kisame to stuff the stuffed critters in the luggage hold. Now that bag was sitting on the masked boy's lap and valuable time was wasted. Of course, the effort of having to shove the bag in a cramped space left Kisame dehydrated and Phox was left to fetch some food and drink.

They had pulled away but Konan had felt they forgot something. Halfway to the airport she remembered when her phone rang. She abruptly turned the van around, sending Phox to the floor. Her brother, Pein boarded, squeezing next to Madara. Then they were off once more.

"Nobody has any concealed weapons, right?" Madara looked at Phox.

"Nope." She smiled innocently.

"Nice try, Phox." Konan sighed, holding out a bag.

Phox gave a sigh, digging into her boot to pull out a dagger. The others watched in awe as she began revealing a wide variety of weapons from her person. Once Konan was sure she had finished, she turned to Madara. He heaved a sigh then added a revolver to the sack. Zetsu, both twins, added pocket knives of their own. Then she held a bag for Pein to place his piercings in until they made it to America. Poor Sasori was new to the whole routine and worried when every single person turned to his Deidara.

"Now then, Deidara. You've finally earned your admittance near an airport. I don't want a repeat of last time's incident." Phox drawled.

"I have no idea what you're talking abou- Let me go, Kisame, hm!" Kisame had wrapped his arms around the blonde restraining him while Itachi snatched his hip pouch. "Give that back, un!"

"No explosives."

"Damn... un..."

Sasori gave a dark chuckle at his brat's pout. Konan put away the bag of weaponry, hiding it under the bus driver's seat. Atari and Suki would drive it back once they returned from their anniversary. The moment they made it past security, they had to rush to the plane. Luckily, the plane had many vacant seats. Every couple got to sit together. Although Konan, Pein, and Phox sat with strangers.

"Calm down, bitch." Kakuzu sighed, catching a plate that Hidan had thrown at his head.

"I refuse to wear a fucking dress, BASTARD!" He screeched.

"I never said you had to!" He snarled back, "Why would I waste money on something so stupid!"

"So you think I'm stupid?" Hidan misunderstood, storming out of their new kitchen.

Kakuzu took calming breaths before following after his fiance. They had been getting into many fights and quarrels over the wedding plans. Kakuzu trying his damnedest to please his lover while keeping a budget. Their wedding would be tomorrow and they were pretty far behind. Some foolish new secretary that had been helping with the wedding, with many other soon-to-be new employees, had brought a dress forgetting that Kakuzu was getting married to another man.

Good help was so hard to find these days; especially in America. At least they had the vows down and knew what they were to do. Kakuzu found Hidan in front of the two story house (excluding the basement & attic) and wrapped his arms around his waist. Hidan took no notice, jaw dropped as he kept his eyes trained straight in front. Kakuzu followed the gaze and his jaw dropped as well. A bus pulled up and out stepped their friends from Tokyo.

Phox ran to them first, throwing herself at them. They returned her hug while Deidara started to jog up to them as well. Before they knew it, it was a group hug. Everyone broke apart save Kakuzu, Hidan, and Phox.

"What are you all doing here?" Kakuzu was the first to ask.

"I should ask you two mother fucking bastards that." Phox growled.

"Language and temper, Phox." Madara reminded her as she stepped away to join the others to glare accusingly at the 'Immortal Duo'.

"Come inside, I guess..." Kakuzu sighed, turning back to the house.

Hidan suddenly remembered the wedding dress was still on display. He ran ahead of them and into the living room. He snatched up the repulsive light colored dress then rushed to take it to their master bedroom upstairs. Meanwhile, Kakuzu had led his former cohorts to the living room and waited patiently for Hidan to return. He hurried down, pulling on a tank top since he usually walked around half-naked. He joined Kakuzu on the loveseat.

"So when's the wedding, hm?" Deidara asked.

"How did you-" Kakuzu cut off Hidan with, "Madara."

"Zetsu and Tobi, actually." Madara corrected them.

The couple shot a glare at the accused. Deidara frowned at them, impatiently waiting the answer.

"It's... tomorrow." Hidan finally managed.

"But so is everything else!" Kisame pointed out.

"... We're having the ceremony on the day of the stupid thing... It was all Madara's idea though." Kakuzu sighed.

"You guys are going public?" Itachi blinked.

"No. They'll be having it just before the thing starts." Madara assured.

"Hidan, can I speak to you, un?" Deidara asked Hidan, whom had kept his silence, a rarity for all.

"Yeah, come with me. Not in that fucking way, Phox." He glared before she could make a remark.

Deidara followed Hidan out of the living room to the bedroom upstairs. He plopped down on the bed, stretching. Deidara remained standing, his mouth pulled down in a frown as he watched his old friend stretch, carefree. He cleared his throat and Hidan sat up, smirking.

"Well, bitch, what the fuck do you want to say?" He laughed.


"Why what? I love him, he's the fucking sex, he cares about me -althoughit'shardtobelieve-, and–"

"No, un! Why didn't you tell me?" Deidara interrupted.

"Oh. Damn, I don't know. You're one to kinda... overreact. I mean, fuck, remember when you found that frilly underwear in my room?"

"That was completely different, un!" Deidara fumed, face a light red upon recalling that day.

"You put him in the fucking hospital, again! And whose underwear was it in the end, dumbass?"

"... Yours..." Deidara blushed further, looking at the blood red floor.

"Yes, they were mine. Not some slutty secretary's underwear. Fuck man, that was more embarrassing for me than you! I had been hoping you would've claimed them as Phox's." He sighed.

"She would never wear something like that, un." Deidara laughed then suddenly deadpanned, "Wait... You're just trying to distract me, hm."

"No shit, Sherlock. Seriously though, you overreact and you're my best friend; shit, more like a fucking brother. I thought a clean break would be best. I'm not a very good influence nor friend for someone like you." He grinned halfheartedly.

"Bullshit, un." Deidara scoffed.


"You could have told me and I wouldn't have overrea- what is that, un!" Deidara suddenly stopped, pointing to the ring Hidan was fiddling with and rushing over.

"You were saying? It's just a fuckin' wedding ring, seriously." he smirked, placing it back in the box on the bedside table.

"Wha? Bu-But that's! Congratulations, Hidan-chan, un!" Deidara threw himself at the startled Jashinist.

"OVERREACTING!" He managed to exclaim as the blonde started to choke him; with his hands.

"I can't believe you two! You didn't tell your best fucking friend, un! Are you forgetting it's thanks to me your two are even fucking together?" He continued to wring Hidan's neck until he grew exhausted and pulled back.

"Jashin, bitch! Are you satisfied now?" He panted, rubbing his sore neck.

"Only if I get to come to the wedding, un." He panted.

"Of course, dumb bitch, I never said you fucking weren't." Hidan sighed, "After we moved I realized I couldn't handle a clean break. I'm such a fucking pussy."

"Why didn't you call me then, hm?" Deidara rose a brow.

"...I uh... left my phone at the apartment." Hidan blushed, avoiding Deidara's eyes.

"And Kakuzu, hm? Don't tell me Mr. Perfect forgot something."

"Um, actually..." Hidan chuckled nervously, "I broke it..."

"And he didn't replace it because...?"

"It's too expensive and in case you haven't noticed; there's a lot of fucking shit coming up." Hidan sighed, growing impatient.

"Oh right." Deidara blinked.

He soon joined Hidan on the bed and they started to converse further. They mainly caught up on what the other missed. Hidan choked when he heard his friend had given Sasori his virginity. Deidara was equally surprised when Hidan informed the blonde of the secretary's screw up with the dress. They continued their conversation until Kakuzu entered the bedroom.

"Hidan get your ass back in the kitchen before I claim it again." He growled.

"Fuck you, fuck-face! I said save it for the fucking honeymoon." Apparently, something he said struck a nerve in the miser for Hidan was in the kitchen after a single blink of Deidara's blue eyes.

"Fucking marriage. Fucking honeymoon. Not fucking Hidan." Kakuzu grumbled under breath.

"He actually proposed celibacy, un?" Deidara hiccuped.

"Yeah... until the honeymoon. Been refused sex for about three week. Let's just say there's no fucking way he'll be walking the same after our honeymoon." He chuckled darkly.

They all sat around the table, which was fairly large for only two tenants. Hidan had made a tuna casserole, much to Kisame's horror and Phox's pleasure. She hated fish and seafood, tuna being the only exception. In fact, tuna was a favorite and with pasta that made it even better. Once they were finished, there was a knock at the door. Tobi went to answer, shrieking that Tobi was a good boy. He returned moments later with a young girl with long, dark blue hair. Everyone noticed she held a bag for suits.

"Hidan-sama, I'm so sorry for bringing you the wrong outfit!" She stuttered, bowing her head while the addressed went over to take her bundle.

"Hinata-kun... how the fuck could you mistake me for a fucking bitch?" Hidan smirked, "Now help me with the dress."

Deidara snickered while everyone stood or sat confused. He looked over to Kakuzu whom was just getting up to follow the pair.

"New secretary seems pretty shy, un."

"She's more Hidan's personal slave than my secretary now. Besides, I have a few others." He shrugged then continued upstairs to help his fiance change when Hinata returned, blushing with the dress in hand. No doubt Hidan had already started to strip before she had the chance to leave... again.

The group of Akatsuki employees sat around the living room, waiting for Hidan to reappear with Kakuzu. They showed up but the others were disappointed to find them in their pajamas.

"Do you all have somewhere to crash?" Kakuzu asked.

"Zetsu, Zetsu, and Tobi will be staying with me at a hotel. Pein and Konan included." Madara answered.

"So we need a room for Sasori and Deidara and Kisame and Itachi. Phox can sleep with us tonight."

"Objection." Phox cried, much to everyone's surprise.

"What do you mean? You love sleeping in our bed..." Deidara detected a hint of pouting in Kakuzu's voice.

"I'm going to spend the night in a mansion near here." She replied.

"With who?" Kakuzu demanded.

"Is it with that one friend of yours? The one that looked like the devil's spawn from your movie?" Sasori questioned.

"Maybe..." She looked away with a slight blush.

"The one that was snogging you after hitting on that one twin, un?" Deidara huffed.

"You were what?" Kakuzu's eye twitched.

"The one you bring to the apartment every week night?" Itachi added.

"Please tell me this was a girl, Phox." Kakuzu hoped.

"Um... His name is Aaron and well... We're dating and have been since you two abandoned me..."

All was silent while Kakuzu glared down on his adopted child. She glared back. The glaring only stopped when yet another knock came at the front door. They watched in curiosity while Tobi scrambled back to the front door. He reappeared moments later with a girl around Phox's age.

"Heya, Ai." The red head greeted, skipping over to her side.

"You ready? Aaron and Kirai are waiting." She girl gave a stretch and Phox gave a nod.

"See you tomorrow, pops." She smirked, snatching up her luggage.

"Glad to know that there will be another girl with her..." Kakuzu mumbled when the door closed.

"Danna~ I need a shower, un." Deidara moaned lowly, rubbing against Sasori.

"Hmn, is that an invite, brat?" Sasori purred, pulling Deidara to the guest bathroom, "Are you sure your friends won't mind the mess or waste of hot water?"

"Who cares, un... I say they deserve it for deserting me." Deidara replied, connecting their lips.

Sasori smirked before licking Deidara's lips for entrance. Once it was granted, he started on the blonde's pants while Deidara took care of Sasori's. Their mouths broke contact and they finished undressing the other. Sasori left Deidara to turn on and test the water, instead occupying himself with the view. Deidara turned around, rolling his eyes at Sasori's action. He stepped into the shower, closely followed by the puppet. They started with it being a normal shower visit; Sasori gently running soapy fingers through the long blonde locks before him.

Once Deidara's hair was washed, he pulled it into a loose bun to prevent it from getting dirty again. He turned around to face Sasori, rubbing their erections together. Sasori bit back his moan, relying on Deidara to make the arousing sounds. He trailed his hands down Deidara's back to grope him with a smirk. Deidara nuzzled into the crook of his neck in response then slid down, never breaking contact with his Danna.

"What are you doing Deidah!" Sasori jolted in surprise when the blonde took him in.

He rested his hands on the top of his head, trying not to undo the bun. Blue eyes looked up at brown eyes and Sasori's breathing became ragged. He closed his eyes, no longer able to handle watching the show sanely. Deidara grinned with this knowledge, giving a slight nip to his member. Meanwhile, his own hand reached for his neglected erection.

"Dei-dar-ah..." Sasori panted his warning moments before...

"Hm... tasty, Danna." Deidara laughed, licking his lips while Sasori flushed.

"Sh-Shut up, brat! It's the water, I swear." He stuttered, avoiding those ridiculing blue eyes.

"I'm ashamed, Sasori-no-Danna, you usually last before me." He held up his clean hands.

"... Turn your ass around. Now." Sasori growled in response.

Deidara rolled his eyes, giving Sasori's lower head one last lick before he obeyed. He placed his hands on the wall and let Sasori reposition behind him accordingly. The taller took a deep breath and shivered when he felt one of Sasori's prod his entrance. The front wasn't left alone for long though and Deidara felt he'd explode with the pleasure.

"Fuck, knock it ah-off, D-Danna. Take me now!" He managed through clenched teeth.

"Very well, Dei-chan."

He removed his fingers abruptly and placed his tip where they had been removed from. Deidara took another deep breath and cried out as his puppet master made his way in. Sasori soon received aid up front when Deidara returned his hand to lick whatever skin it could find. Sasori's thrusts gained speed and lost rhythm in no time. This brought more frequent, loud moans from his uke until they felt the end nearing.



They let the water run down their bodies for a bit before Sasori decided to withdraw. He was still panting when Deidara moved to wash himself once more. He turned off the water and Sasori stepped out for a towel. Once they dried and returned to their temporary room, Deidara curled up against Sasori. They released a blissful sigh before drifting off to sleep in peace.

The morning of the wedding soon arrived for our favorite characters of Naruto known as Akatsuki... Jashin help us all...

"Kakuzu! Where the fuck is my hair gel?" Deidara grumbled at Hidan's early morning outburst.

He turned to look at Sasori whom was also waking up thanks to Hidan. The two artists got the guest room just under the soon-to-be-married couple while Kisame and Itachi got the living room and pull out couch bed. Sasori crept from under the covers and reached out for the nearest blunt object. Deidara, realizing his plan, jumped up and snatched the lamp.
"Now now, Danna, they're getting married today, un." He soothed, setting the lamp back on the night stand while Sasori grumbled, shuffling to the bathroom.

Deidara smiled and threw on some clothes. He hurried upstairs and opened the main bedroom door. Kakuzu was on the bed, pulling on some pants. He spotted the blonde and indicated to a door leading to the bathroom. He knocked on the door and waited for Hidan to let him in. He stepped inside and Hidan closed the door behind before Kakuzu could peek inside.

"Can you help me with this stupid fucking bow tie?" Hidan scowled, pointing to his neck.

"Couldn't find your hair gel, hm?" Deidara smirked.

"Can you fix my hair then?" He huffed, reaching past the blonde to grab a comb.

"Gladly, un." Deidara laughed, taking the comb.

Soon all members of the house were gathered in the living room. They weren't wearing formal wedding suits, save Kakuzu and Hidan, just the nicest clothes they owned. Soon after all were assembled, the group that stayed at a hotel arrived. They all boarded the new company's shuttle bus when they received a call from Phox.

"She should be just up ahead, Konan, hm." Deidara pointed out a large house with a car in the drive.

"Alright, I'll go in and fetch her." Sasori offered since he was closest to the door.

They watched him jog to the front door and knock. He waited for awhile which, to Sasori, was too long. He was about to turn around when something flew out the door, bowling him over. It was a girl with waist-length blue hair. She blinked her blue eyes then hurried to her feet, helping Sasori up with her.

"Sorry Sasori, Phox is on her way out. She's gotta get dressed." The girl laughed before jumping off the porch as a pink haired boy rushed out after her.

"Get back here, damn you!" he shouted.

"You'll have to forgive them. Cat and Ares fight over the smallest of things... this time it was over his cock size..." Phox snickered, passing Sasori to get to the bus.

He followed after silently. He tried not to dwell on her words. She climbed in and squeezed in, next to Kakuzu. He returned to Deidara's side and they were off again. They arrived, much to everyone's confusion, at the new company grounds.

"Atari and Suki should be here by now according to Madara." Zetsu-san mumbled.

"They're coming too, un?" Deidara questioned.

"Who else is going to fucking wed us under Jashin-sama?" Hidan scoffed.

"Kakuzu actually agreed?" Itachi found the thought difficult to process.

"Of course... after Hidan told me about the... ceremony..." Kakuzu's blush went noticed for he was without his mask for a change.

"Wait... and just what kind of ceremony is this?" Kisame bit back a laugh.

"The private kind, of course." Atari boarded half way then stepped out.

Phox stood up and followed Kakuzu and Hidan out the bus. In no time the others joined Atari just inside a building for special occasions. He led them to a large room with many tables surrounding a dance floor.

"You all will wait here while I take Kakuzu and Hidan to a separate room. After they have joined before Jashin they will return to you and the party will begin." Atari explained calmly then added, "Phox is welcome to follow us for now."

Phox was given a room directly next to the one her fathers were led to. She was stunned to meet Suki there, looking out a window. She joined to see Atari on the other side, standing in front of Hidan and Kakuzu. She noticed a Jashinist symbol drawn on the ground around them. She glanced over at Suki whom looked to her in turn.

"Don't worry, they can't see us. After all, they need witnesses." He explained with a grin, "They also deserve to believe they have privacy."

"So my guess was correct... the ceremony is-"

"Yep, now hush and watch." Atari arrived suddenly, making Phox's hair stand on end.

"Eh... won't be the first time, I suppose..." She sighed, turning her attention back to the window.

The three were quite startled to find that her parents had already stripped to their boxers. Kakuzu helped ease Hidan to lay on the floor in the diagram. To one side lay what looked like a dagger. Phox groaned, not one for excessive bloodshed. Kakuzu picked up the dagger, lips moving as though in prayer as he trailed the dagger across Hidan's exposed torso. The bottom male shuddered with impatience and lust. Phox's interest reared, straining to see what her adopted father was etching on his lover's skin. It looked like his name in kanji.

"Aw, that's so sweet. I wonder if Aaron will do something like that..." She trailed when Kakuzu finished, laying a trail of kisses.

It was almost sickeningly sweet and brought relief when she noticed he was biting to draw more blood. Kakuzu's patience was wearing thin so he did the expected, shredding Hidan's boxers to reveal his erection. The larger took no time in devouring it, obviously taking pleasure in whatever Hidan had been screaming. The brunette pulled away early, shedding his remaining clothing. Hidan smirked and flipped over to give his seme a better access.

By this time, despite having walked in on the two more than once, Phox was quite red. Kakuzu wore a sadistic smirk as he simply shoved in, skipping preparation. Hidan's mouth opened in an unheard scream then bit his lip. Kakuzu laughed at this but leaned in to lick the blood from his lips as if apologizing. In no time he had already pulled out only to slam back in then repeat. Off to the side, Phox could tell Atari and Suki had been turned on by this and prayed they wouldn't start this 'ceremony' as well. She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard a muffled shout. Hidan had released already and his partner was soon to follow.

They pulled apart rather reluctantly and Kakuzu went to gather their clothes. She turned to ask Suki and Atari a question, only to find them leaving the room. With a start, she followed after.

Sasori looked away from Deidara's face when he heard Kakuzu and Hidan returning with Phox close behind. Something was different about the two of them though. Kakuzu didn't seem as grumpy as he had been and Hidan was beaming. Phox looked a bit pink as well and hurried over to sit at the main table. Everyone got up from where they were seated and joined around the newlyweds.

"Well, well, Kakuzu, for someone deprived of sex for the past few weeks you're looking pretty cheery, hm." Deidara smirked.

"Huh... so that's how you got Kakuzu to agree then, Hidan..." Suki arrived with Atari.

"Fuck yeah! I got him wrapped around my fucking finger!" Hidan snickered softly.

And we end this story now by saying Hidan was left unable to walk for the length of the honeymoon, Sasori and Deidara live happily ever after together, and that Aaron proposed to Phox.

4142 – Word Count

36730 – Rough Total Word Count

Wow... I actually made an ending... I... am so proud of myself. :D

This was for BloodDrenchedScorpion and I hope I met ye expectations.

Now to finish a KakuHida MPreg... then KakuHida Fluff... then a sequel to a previous request...

Shoot... I'm forgetting the overdue KisaIta stuff too...

Jashin help me to never fill my plate this full again...

I also have to judge a contest and create the prizes...


PS – This chapter is roughly 6 pages...