Authors Notes: I found this story sad and half written while clearing out my folder a few days ago. I can't believe I forgot about this! It's a sequel to my smutty oneshot Cat Life and honestly....I have no idea what made me come up with this stuff xD Seriously. I need help. Even though it's a sequel it can be read as a oneshot so don't worry about whether or not you read the first Cat Life.

This is some weird fanfic crack, slightly OOC, and VERY rated M. Read at your own risk. You have been warned!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters for very good reason.

Enjoy :D


Cat Life II; Dog Style

It was summer. The scorching hot sun blazed violently, cursing any poor sap naïve enough to walk outside without lotion with third degree sunburn. Naruto had already filled up a cereal bowl with crispy epidermis after falling asleep on a park bench for three hours in mid day then waking up redder than the devil's ass. A small price to pay before basking in the delicious reward called freedom.

School was out for summer and Naruto could not have been more ecstatic. His lazy time had been upped from one day to hours everyday in between working at Yamanaka's Flower Shop and bartending at Midori Ai. Now instead of rushing to college like a big boy in between shifts, he came home, lazed around in his boxers, watched TV, and slept.

Heaven on earth except more nude.

His small hovel apartment room was on the top floor of the dingy old complex and as anyone who got a third grade education knows; heat rises. The blonde had already nearly died of dehydration while watching a Ninja Warrior marathon for the better half of the day. The small Charizard thermometer on his wall always read 97 degrees only dropping to 80 at night when the white washed walls trapped in all the daily heat like an adobe oven. The tree branches from outside blocked the window; the only source of fresh air.

While freedom was nice, baking in a studio apartment was not. Naruto had already saved up from his weekly paycheck and had enough for a classy air conditioner he had stared at so dreamily in the store down the hill. He whistled happily as he jammed the box into the window (after an epic war with the protruding tree branches) and nearly cried in joy when the AC was plugged in and a cool fresh stream of cold air was flowing into his fortress of solitude like a gift from the gods.

Life couldn't have been better. He had an AC, three best friends, two great jobs, and now he was free to be lazy bones all summer. Perfect.

Well…all except for one small tiny insty bitsy little detail.

Gaara. His new pet cat.

The crazy cat lady next door had been delighted to see Naruto had shared her affinity for small furry weasels and was kind enough to let him have a few essentials for owning a kitty. Gaara had his own fluffy pink bed pushed against the wall near the kitchen, complete with a hand woven basket and a canopy for unknown reasons. A red ceramic bowl with two compartments; one for water one for food. Three cat nip filled toys shaped like mice and a bird, a small litter box, and a pink bonnet….Naruto would never understand what a cat would ever need with a bonnet unless the cat was going to picnic along the English countryside and eat blueberry scones.

In fact, Naruto had no idea why a cat needed any of these useless perks, or at least why his particular little beast needed them. Nothing was used; expect the red leather collar Naruto had picked out himself with a black tag reading "GAARA" in bold white letters. No, his cat was seemingly above sleeping in baskets and eating out of bowls on the floor. His cat sleep on the bed, sat at the table and used chopsticks, and the bonnet was replaced with a long red flowing kimono that hung loosely off a pale lithe body.

This was because his cat turned into a human at exceedingly random moments throughout the day.

It was stressing the blonde out enough to give him a bleeding ulcer, and what was worse; no one believed him. Really, was a cat turning into a human that hard to believe?

Apparently.

Gaara stayed in his cat form when it was convenient. On hot days when he wanted to sleep on top of the AC, when he wanted to get sky high off cat nip, when he tagged along with his owner to the store for Friskies and Fancy Feast, or when he simply wanted to lounge on Naruto's belly as he watched television. But his human form also popped up when it was convenient for him. When he wanted to eat take out at the table, while taking a bath….when he wanted certain physical needs fulfilled...

Naruto's life had become slightly more complicated the last few months.

Sure, the baka had to admit it was nice to have someone to snuggle against at night, to kiss you when you returned from work, to cook you dinner when you were tired (although Gaara's culinary skill consisted only of making tuna rolls) or even someone to sleep with when jacking off got boring.

The last one would have been better if his cat was a girl. Now on top of having a cat with the hormonal tendencies of a 14 year old boy, Naruto was questioning his sexual orientation. Just because he slept with a guy didn't make him gay did it?! He liked girls! Girls with boobs and tiny waists and big hips! Besides, Gaara was a cat.

This just raised further questions.

"I'm telling you!!! This cat is a horndog!!!" Naruto shouted over a meal at Mc Donalds at lunch with his best friends Sakura, Sasuke, and Sai. All three were also out of school meaning they would all be mooching free lunches off each other regularly. "He turns into this redheaded boy with a kimono and dark rings around his blue eyes and he even wears a kimono!" He held his hands up on his head like ears to illustrate. "He attacks every night!!!"

"How many Twinkies have you been eating lately?" Sasuke asked disenchanted, sucking on his straw making loud suction noises in the empty cup. Sakura giggled behind her hand while Sai seemed more interested in staring at the playground outside with a strange longing then anything else.

Naruto scowled. "I can't believe you don't believe me…."

"We've seen the red cat, Naruto. He's a cat. Either you're having some really crazy wet dreams or you're into bestiality. Both of which I don't feel like discussing over my Big Mac." Sasuke stood up to refill his soda and Naruto grumbled crossing his arms moodily. Sakura smiled, patronizingly putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Look Naru-chan, maybe all the television you've been watching is working its way into your dreams and making them really unusual. I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about."

"Maybe he watches too much porn."

"Cat porn?"

"Ew, they actually have that stuff? I wouldn't be surprised."

"Ask Naruto, he's the one watching it."

"Ewww! Naruto, don't touch anything!! You might infect it with some weird feline hormone!"

"Orange Tabby Revue."

"Okay shut up!!" Naruto yelped, snatching his milk shake and drinking it violently earning him a nice brain freeze to compliment his frustration... "Nevermind lets just….let's ride our trays down the slide and get our minds off of it." He pointed to the playground with a grin.

"I'm in." Sasuke shouted, grabbing his tray and running to the purple slide. "Last one there is a cat boinker!"

Of course Naruto was the last one.

After lunch and helping Sakura pick out a dress for a date she had later that night (Naruto had tried to coax her into trying on a Yoko cosplay outfit to no avail), blondie made his way home, walking up the familiar semi deserted hill to the apartment complex. The more than slightly dilapidated neighborhood always looked like something out of a level from Silent Hill at times especially his creepy neighbor Orochimaru who was somehow always sporting new ways to freak Naruto out. Just the other day he had walked past the pasty guys house to be met with the sight of the weirdo wearing a full on drag queen get up only he was wearing ass-less chaps and a leather garter.

Naruto couldn't sleep that night.

He hurried past the creep's house before he saw something he wished he didn't and made his way up to his room.

Room number 69.

Laugh all you want.

"Tadaima!" Naruto called out as he entered his small beloved studio apartment. The room was cool and smelled like a sweet bakery thanks to the bulk pack of Twinkies, dumplings, Snowballs, and Zingers he splurged on at the market the day before.

Living alone the past three years of his life he had never needed to announce his arrival before, but now that he had someone else in the room…

"Okaerinasai." Gaara answered back. He was sprawled across Naruto's futon, his kimono loose on his body exposing long slender smooth legs and smooth porcelain skin. Naruto blushed. He would never be able to get used to that. But having someone to welcome you home wasn't so bad either. A grin spread across Naruto's face as he threw his bag into the corner and grabbed a Twinkie from the elaborate Hostess Twinkie Temple of Obesity Doom he had spent three hours building.

"Are you hungry?" Naruto asked his nekoboy; opening the fridge and scanning the contents for anything cook able and not heart attack inducing or sugary. Actual food. Gaara sat up, his bushy red stripped tail flicking around in quick circles.

"No." He answered curtly.

Another thing about Gaara was his lack of vocabulary. He definitely wasn't one to waste words. He only ever spoke if spoken to, and it disturbed Naruto a little but he was becoming more accustomed to the man of few words. Besides he was a cat. They didn't really speak. They didn't turn into humans either….

Naruto took out a soda from the fridge and opened it with a fizz, taking a seat on his futon next to the redhead. Gaara immediately leaned against him, rubbing his cheek against his arms and coiling a slender leg around Naruto. Naruto blushed, turning on the television and staring intently at the screen although not really seeing any of what was flashing colorfully across. Gaara was always overly affectionate, it got some taking used to and Naruto was a healthy young man. "These reactions are normal!" He had yelled at his reflection after he attacked Gaara within seconds of his daily snuggle fests. Being "healthy", Naruto didn't find it odd that he was so easily aroused by his feline companion, but rather he found the fact that Gaara was indeed a male the disturbing part.

"He can't be sexy." Naruto had said to himself over and over while doubting his sexual tendencies one late night. "Sexy means a small waist, curvy hips and things and breasts." He cupped his hands over his chest to illustrate. "Girls! Girls are soft and pretty and always smell good…Well he always smells really nice…NO! Girls have smooth soft skin…Well actually his skin is flawless…"

He argued with himself for hours before concluding Gaara was a cat therefore normal rules didn't apply.

So there he was. Drinking a soda, watching TV, a redheaded cat boy sprawled all over him and purring contently.

Naruto couldn't help but lax, leaning back against his Mothra pillow and serenely running his fingers through Gaara's short red choppy hair, always soft and silky to the touch. Naruto loved that about having Gaara at his side. The feeling of another body radiating heat, the feeling of skin against skin. It was something he was beginning to really love. It was calming in a way, easing.

As he relaxed against his pillow, he distinctly felt the feeling of cool fingertips running up his stomach under the materiel of his shirt. He gulped. Ginger was already starting a nightly attack.

The blonde stared hard at the television as if his very life depended on him not missing a single second of the Preparation H commercial, trying his best to ignore the whisper soft touches sneaking down his abdomen and softly caressing under his clothing.

Not tonight, not tonight, not tonight. Resist!

Naruto needed to prove to himself (for unknown reason) that he wasn't some horndog who was easily coaxed into sex by a seemingly innocent red headed boy with cat ears who chased a faux cat nip coated parrot around in circles.

"Aah, yep. I'm pretty tired today." He said, yawning dramatically and stretching his arms up over his head. "Better get some early sleep. Uhh…for growing. You grow the most when you sleep….So if you drink milk with every meal and sleep every other day you'll level up and become a Paladin." He coughed a little wondering what the hell he was talking about. Gaara simply stared at him, his dark ringed eyes starring unblinkingly and wide which was okay for a cat but in human form it just made him look like he had some form of graves disease.

"Why do cats always look the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe murderer…." Naruto grumbled, leaning back against his pillow and changing the channel to something more exuberating but he eyed Gaara suspiciously wondering what his next attack would be…

"GAH!"

The redhead suddenly grabbed at Naruto's crotch without a seconds hesitation earning an immediate 'healthy' reaction from the blonde. It wasn't so unusual for Gaara to be so straightforward and honest about what he wanted from his owner, but for Naruto it still took some getting used to.

"Bad kitty!" He snapped, covering his lower section with a shield/pillow and pushing Gaara's face away from him. The plan backfired when the neko took his hand and suckled gently on the digits.

"You will not defeat me!!!" Naruto practically shrieked, using the shield/pillow to cover his lower parts as the cat boy advanced on him dangerously like stalking prey. This was usually the part when Naruto's defenses would fall, the white flag was raised and full on moe hentai ensued. But not this time. Blondie had to prove to the universe he wasn't so totally hormonal.

As Naruto jabbed at Gaara with his L plushie, his orange cell phone began to ring. The Lucky Star theme broke the cat's focus and Naruto grasped the opportunity to retreat and answer his phone while regrouping and coming up with a new tactic. "I'll call the blacksmith and have him wield a chastity belt made of titanium alloy!!!"

"What the fuck are you going on about now?"

Oh. He had already answered the phone.

"Sasuke! Thank god! The cat!! The cat, he's attacking me again! Save my virginity!"

"…..Goodbye."

"Wait!!!"

"Okay, if you mention that cat one more time I swear I'll never talk to you again and I'm keeping all the games you ever lent me, and I'm telling everyone that thing you do with half cooked ramen noodles, and I'm burning our friendship Pikachu then pissing in the ashes."

"You bastard!! You need to talk to me in my time of need!!! Just what kinda friend are you!? Huh?! Huh?!"

"What you need is the number of a doctor who can procure a speedy lobotomy."

"Hold that thought." Naruto covered the speaker of the phone and looked over at Gaara who was strangely fidgeting in place. "What's wrong with you?" He watched as the redhead narrowed his eyes, his tail flicking around in wide circles as his thighs spread open. A volcano erupted in Naruto's gut as he was met with the sight of Gaara's glistening hard-on twitching at him from across the room like a living entity. Gaara let out a low whimper as he ran his fingers daintily down his chest and circling around his lower abdomen before wrapping his hand around his arousal and stroking it gently, erupting fireworks in the baka's loins.

Naruto stared with his mouth open like a brain dead goldfish. He slowly lifted the phone back to his ear not changing his expression.

"S-sasuke…Um…D-do cat have heat cycles often?

"Oh my- I am NOT talking about-"

"For the love of Jashin just answer you duck butt hair Uchiha!"

"Ugh….why me…..They're mostly in heat during the summer, so being that its summer you must be spitting up fur balls with ole fluffy huh?"

"You prick." Naruto was distracted by a loud moan from Gaara who was now freely pumping a hand up and down his arousal, his voice calling out to the blonde seedily, no shame.

"GAH! So he's using THAT tactic! He's playing hardball! Sasukeeeh! Come save me from straying off the path of righteousness!!"

"Okay, enough of this…" Sasuke sighed on the other side of the line, the sound of a door closing in the background. "I'll deal with your perverted bestiality shenanigans later. We have slightly more pressing matters at hand here, dobe."

"What the hell could be more pressing then my innocence!?!?" Naruto shrieked as the redhead was rocking his hips off the futon, his abdomen muscles clenching with every movement and shimmering in a thin sheen of perspiration under the flashing glow of the television.

"The matter of Sakura's date tonight with that old pervert!!"

Naruto had to pull the phone away from his ear as Sasuke was now yelling at the top of his lungs. "I can't believe she actually went on a date with her Literature teacher!! How old is that geezer!? He could be her frickin father for crissake!!! We have to go spy on the date and make sure he doesn't give her GHB and Coke on the rocks!!!"

"…..And you say I'm crazy?"

"Shut up! Are you in or not, dobe?"

Naruto chewed on his lip, his palms sweating as he watched Gaara mesmerized. A slick line of clear fluid was starting to dribble down the redheads arousal before he violently reached his limit, his muscles contracting and releasing as he went limp on the futon. Naruto was feeling his own pants getting uncomfortably tight.

Fuck the cat boy, or spy on his best friends date?

Life was so full of hard choices.

"O-okay, I'm leaving right now!"

"All right, good! Meet us at the bar."

Dial tone.

The blonde gulped, standing shakily up to his knees and backing away from the cat boy slowly like he was a ticking time bomb ready to detonate at the slightest shake of a limb. Gaara immediately sat up, his large aqua eyes staring scrutinizingly up at him in pure suspicion.

"Where are you going?" He asked quietly, his voice edgy in annoyance.

Naruto gulped. "Uhh, just out. Ya know. Duty calls. So, yeah. Adios kitty-cat." He hastily saluted the neko before snatching his jacket and keys off the counter and making a dash for the door, reaching out to the doorknob like his last line of defense before a strong tug pulled at his pant leg.

The neko sat on the floor, his kimono open wantonly, his pouty face stern. "I'll come as well." And in the blink of an eye and a comical poof of smoke Naruto still couldn't help but giggle at, there was a large ginger cat sitting at his feet, pawing at his Converse impatiently.

Naruto sighed, squatting down to pet the cat who immediately began to purr louder than a motorcycle. He didn't have time to fight with a cat. Seriously. He nearly needed facial reconstruction the last time he got into a tiff over trying to get Gaara to take a bath while still in cat form leaving his features identical to that of ground turkey meat.

"Fine, come on fur ball."

Gaara mewled and hopped into Naruto's messenger bag contently, his usual transportation, and the blonde hurried out of the room, locking the door behind him, rolling his eyes for good measure.

The train ride to Midori Ai was moderately short but Naruto sweated bullets on tenterhooks no one would notice he was smuggling a red cat with a stripped tail in his bag like some kind of psycho. Although that was most likely what he was. Sasuke always said those kinds of things always happened to idiots. In truth, Naruto didn't know what kinds of things the Uchiha was talking about but he assumed it meant this. Who hasn't had a cat problem every once in their life?

The train pulled to a stop and Naruto hurried out, bumping into a few business men as he shuffled through the station and out into the cool streets.

Past Harajuku's bright neon colors and masses of uniquely dressed patrons enjoying what the lively night life had to offer was a small, almost unnoticeable, road leading to the chic bar Naruto bartended at. Midori Ai was empty around that time, although the regulars were already loitering suavely at the large jade double doors. Naruto spotted his friends waiting outside by the smoking area and ran up to greet them, catching his breath as he slowed to a stop.

"You're late." Sasuke said venomously, obviously irritated under the circumstances of Sakura being out on a date with a man who could easily be her father, maybe grandfather. Everyone knew he had a thing for the pinkette although it was never uttered for fear of decapitation at the hands of the arrogant Uchiha. What he lacked in proper brain cell function he made up for with an ego rivaling Friedrich Nietzsche.

Obviously in light of the current stalkers convention, Sasuke was conspicuously adorned in a large overcoat despite the heat and a Fedora with a scarf pulled up over his chin. Naruto immediately snorted out a laugh.

"Is that supposed to be a disguise? You look like the Nightstalker!"

"Wha- You're the one who has a cat in your man purse you fucking freak!!" Sasuke retorted, pointing at Naruto's bag with an accusing finger. A red tail was sticking out of the corner of the bag plain as day.

"Don't know what chu talkin' 'bout." Naruto said huffily, crossing his arms.

"I can see his tail!!!!"

"Okay, calm down you two, lets just focus on trailing Sakura." Sai intervened, patting Naruto with a smile, although eying the cat in the bag uneasily as if to say 'Seriously did you really need to bring the cat? Seriously?'

Sasuke grunted in irritation as he shed the 'disguise' and leaned against the wall in a moody huff, running his fingers through his raven hair repeatedly like he usually did when annoyed. Just then the green doors opened and Karin walked out to join the spy party.

"Finally here, Naruto? Took you long enough." Karin sneered at the dobe who stuck his tongue out at her teasingly. Karin of course would follow Sasuke wherever he went being she was infatuated with the nut. Not to mention she was most likely snapping scandalous photos of Sakura with their literature professor for later black mail. This was made apparent by the camera bag sitting all too smugly at her side. The redhead was boisterous, nosy, and off her rocker. Not to mention bi-polar and showed oddly suspicious rapist tendencies. Sasuke ignored her for the most part, plopping him smack dab in the middle of a homicidal love triangle that only existed in Naruto's over imaginative mind.

"Sakura just left the station and is meeting Jiraiya-sensei at that Sushi place." Sai informed the group with a haughty grin. This kind of stuff was his cup of tea; the nosy art freak couldn't go two seconds without butting into someone else's business. He even went as far as writing down his findings about a specific person in a notebook he carried with him everywhere. Could have been the reason he was taking anthropology. Or maybe he was just weird like that. The latter, Naruto guessed as he watched Sai lead the way all too giddy in the situation.

"You do realize if Sakura catches us we can just kiss our balls goodbye right?" Naruto said to Sasuke who cringed slightly as if that fact hadn't occurred to him yet. Sakura wasn't exactly known for her peaceful methods of settling scores.

Karin snorted as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose superciliously. "If it comes to that, I'll kick her little petite ass faster than you can say flat-chested. I owe that girl a few good punches." Her eyes gleamed as they eyed Sasuke hungrily. Naruto walked further away from the rapist redhead for good measure.

A small sushi restaurant stood at the corner of the street and the gang quickly hid behind a large row of bushes overlooking the outdoor seating area where a pink haired girl was talking animatedly with the old coot.

"Look at that smug bastard." Sasuke grunted under his breath watching Jiraiya-sensei laugh and pour a bottle of Sake into Sakura's glass. "He thinks he's got her ready for a night of gross old man sex."

"I think they make a cute couple." Karin teased, holding in laughter. Naruto sighed, sitting on the concrete and placing his bag with the kitty inside on the floor at his side. He idly wondered why he had come when he could have easily been at home either catching a few re-runs or playing horizontal hokey pokey with a certain redheaded boy. As if on cue, Gaara twitched in the bag before poking his head out to look around, his aqua eyes scanning the surrounds with a scrutinized expression. Naruto gasped as the cat jumped out of the bag and trotted merrily towards the patio, no doubt with the keen intent of blowing their cover. Of course. Why else would Gaara have wanted to come with? To sabotage the operation and get his master back home early for more play!

"Naruto! Get you're feline fuck buddy back here!" Sasuke hissed quietly, grabbing the dobe around the scruff of his clothing and shaking him violently. "ACK! She sees him!" He threw Naruto down and hid under the leaves as Sakura's green eyes fell upon the ginger cat. In zero to one second her expression turned viciously brutal.

"Crap! She recognized Naruto's love pussy!"

"W-w-w-wait, m-maybe if we pretend to be Italian she w-won't notice us."

"What does that even mean!? Shut up and run like your ass is on fire!!"

The sound of a chair being pushed back from a table scraped loudly and Naruto looked up to see the pinkette casually standing. Her green eyes flashed red as they zeroed in on their lookout point with unfiltered, chilling murderous intent.

"YOU GUYS!!!!" She shrieked, grabbing a chair and chucking it at them with all the speed of a raging meteor. It hit point break on the center of Sai's forehead sending him spiraling back and slamming into a nearby trashcan sending the contents flying into the stratosphere.

"Wah! That's-a spicy meat-a-ball!!!" Naruto yelped out frantically, trying to turn and run like his ass was on fire but instead tripping over his own feet and smashing face first into the cement with a nasty cracking snap.

"Oh if it isn't Naruto and Sasuke." Jiraiya said behind her, waving casually at his students as if a potential homicide was not in the wakes of making world headlines within seconds. Sakura meanwhile advanced furiously on her prey, they weight of her pure evil aura paralyzing Sasuke and Naruto like flies under a newspaper.

"K-Karin, now's the time to pay her back those punches you were talking about." Naruto stuttered in fear as he clung onto Sasuke who was limp in his arms. But Karin was already long gone, waving as she ran. "Good luck!" She called out, her voice echoing as she got further away from the death zone.

Sakura cracked her fist, an evil smile spread across her face. "Spying on my dinner?" She spoke, her voice shaking in rage. "Trying to sabotage me? Eh? Haven't you heard of privacy? That's fine…You'll never see again!!!"

"Kyaaah!!!"

"We're trying to save you!!" Sasuke shouted, clinging onto Naruto and semi-attempting to climb onto his back rather than run himself.

"FROM WHAT!?" Sakura screeched, hurling a sign post at them like a spear in lightning fast speed, narrowly missing Naruto's head. "I told you five times already!!! We aren't even on a date!!! We're talking about my internship!!!"

"Wha!? Then why are you trying to kill us!?"

"It's the point of the thing!!!!"

Naruto grabbed the now half dead Sasuke, who was foaming at the mouth, and made a mad dash for his life. Sakura was running after him, screaming hysterically and bumping into random people who were at the wrong place at the wrong time and sending them flying.

"Noooo! I'm too young and blonde to die!! Sakura!! I'm sorry!! Please don't kill me! Kill Sasuke!!" He jumped down off a ramp leading to a fight of stair and frenziedly followed them down to a parking lot before exiting again this time in a dreary alley. He halted and panted breathily, Sasuke still clinging to his shoulders.

"Looks like we lost her…" He wheezed, leaning against the alley wall and sliding down. Sasuke blinked, shaking his head and grasping at his chest with a pained expression.

"Oh my god I thought we were done for…"

"You didn't do anything! I did all the running!!!"

"Wha-!!! Where's that cat of yours! He's about to get neutered!!"

Meow

Naruto's head snapped down to see Gaara purring smugly up at them, his tail flicking around arrogantly. He could just see the smile on his whiskered face. Sasuke yelped and started to claw at him, Naruto holding the Uchiha back desperately. Gaara hissed and swatted at his fingertips.

"I'll kill that little furball!"

"It wasn't his fault! He's just a stupid cat!"

"He's about to be a stupid bath towel!"

"That's gross!!"

"You two alright?"

Naruto and Sasuke stopped pulling on each others hair to look up and see Karin and Sai, Sai sporting a nasty looking bloody nose. He really took one for the team. Naruto considered taking back all the bad stuff he had thought of him but reconsidered.

Naruto stood up; picking Gaara off the ground and putting him back in the bag. "Yeah, Somehow. We need to have a serious intervention on that girls violence level…"

"She wouldn't have tried to kill us if that cat hasn't shown up…" Sasuke sulked, glaring at Naruto in annoyance. The blonde was about to open his mouth to retort when the loud metallic sound of metal hitting metal echoed through the alley ear-splittingly. The gang yelped, huddling together and shaking in fear of the pinkette reappearing to show up and take their body parts for tinsel.

Instead a large white animal emerged from behind a trashcan, a soggy cardboard box of pizza hanging dully from its mouth.

"It's just a stupid dog." Karin huffed irritably, standing back up and fixing her red glasses with an embarrassed cough.

The animal was indeed a dog, large and white although his fur was dirty and grimy and turning grey at certain points. His ears stood perked upright on his head and Naruto noticed a thing scar running down a sharp black eye. The dog dropped the pizza box and trotted to them, its tail wagging hastily, his pink tongue hanging lamely out the side of his mouth.

Karin made a disgusted face as Naruto kneeled down to pet the animal's shaggy white fur, the dog dribbling all over his hand. Gaara growled audibly in the bag. "He has a collar!" Naruto exclaimed, trying to lift the dogs head to see but his bushy fur and his inability to stay still in pure wagging excitement made it difficult.

"So see if it has a number and get the fleabag home." Sasuke sighed, standing straight and running his fingers through his raven hair moodily. "I, on the other hand, have seen enough excitement today. See you tools late-er."

"What?!" Naruto turned to see Sasuke walking away, his hands in his pockets." You're leaving? What about the pooch?"

"You can take care of it." Sasuke turned to sneer wickedly in sweet sweet revenge, his eyes flashed dangerously making Naruto shrink back obediently. "After all, you seem to get along so well with animals. Should be a piece of cake. Hey, you might even have a hot animal orgy. Byee~"

"Ahh, right. Good thinking Sasuke." Karin nodded, following Sasuke and grinning teasingly down on the dobe. "Have fun, Usuratonkatchi!"

"S-Sai!?" Naruto called out desperately, but the artist was already scurrying away with the other two, smiling back at him apologetically. "Sorry Naruto! Gotta jet!"

Naruto was left in the alley with a hissing cat in his bag and a huge white dog drooling puddles on his arms. "You guys suuuck!!!!" he yelled after them as the white dog lapped at his face, his tail wagging nonstop and knocking over a trashcan; spewing the dobe in moldy food and used condoms.

"Leave a message after the beep."

Beeeep.

The blonde sighed as he listened to the answering machine recoding for the fifth time in a row. "Uh, yeah hi, This is Naruto Uzumaki…uhh….I guess you aren't home…uhh, I think I found your dog soo, if you can just call me back so you can come pick the big guy up that would be great." Naruto left his cell number and address and hung up with a long drawn out groan of irritation. His flat, it seemed, had suddenly turned into a petting zoo or a Furry paradise. The large white dog was sitting on his futon happily wagging his big bushy tail, the remains of Naruto's favorite rubber ducky, Bruno, brutally murdered at his side.

The dog was named Kakashi as it seemed, his tag was simple and small and hard to read except for the name in a fancy cursive font and the number of what Naruto hoped to be his owner under that. For the sake of it, he tried the number again only to be met with the same answering machine message. He hung up in frustration and walked back to his futon, sitting in front of the large dog with a scowl.

"Do I smell like an animal or something?" He asked the white dog with narrowed eyes. "Did someone put a sign on my back that says 'Free Housing'? Do I emit some kind of weird canine or feline aphrodisiac? Do I smell that good? Do I? Really?" He groaned and fell backwards onto the futon, bumping his head on the Playstation with a dull thud. The dog took the opportunity to tackle him and lick his face madly. Naruto laughed in spite of himself and scratched the mongrel behind the ears.

"Okay, so maybe you aren't THAT bad. Don't think he likes you much, though." He pointed to Gaara who was still in his cat form and sulking moodily in his basket under the table in the kitchen. His eyes narrowed angrily and he turned his nose up to the dog and Naruto when he saw they were looking at him. Naruto grinned, amused by the sudden jealousy his cat was displaying. He'd like to see that behavior explained on Animal Planet. The dog barked in agreement and Naruto nodded at him with a grin. He always thought of himself as more of a dog person but living in the tiny toy box of an apartment that he did, a dog was completely out of the question. He barely had enough room now that a cat lived there, and that was when he wasn't in human form.

"You can stay here until your master picks you up but that's all, got it?" He asked Kakashi with a stern nod. The dog barked again and Naruto patted his head seriously. "Good boy. Now stay put and watch some Pokemon." He increased the volume on the television as if dogs could really enjoy a show about an electric rat and walked into the bathroom, ignoring the violent glares Gaara was shooting him from under the table. He sighed and shook his head at his luck, looking at himself in the mirror. "You're gunna go insane like this, old boy. You weirdo. Just wait." He shook his finger threateningly at his reflection before shedding his shirt and hastily kicking off his shoes and pants at the same time.

His shower was something of an oddity, and anyone else who was used to the luxury of living in an apartment that didn't violate basic human rights laws would have had a hard time using it. The shower stood upright, no bathtub, and was about two feet by two feet with no shower curtain. Most of the water ended up on the bathroom's dull lime green tile floor where it would sink under the floor and rot the wood out of existence. Naruto figured he would deal with that potential problem when there was a huge gaping hole winking back at him, until then, he rather enjoyed splashing water all over the place. The blonde threw his blue and black stripped boxers on the toilet seat and turned on the water. You always had to wait a while before the hot water came out, until then the nozzle choked and puked out random spurts of ice cold water. When steam finally filled the small room, Naruto hopped into the shower, moaning in relish as the soothing hot water hit his body.

He sang a tuneless song about mushrooms as he bathed, hitting high notes he could only hit while in the shower, completely at ease.

Until someone's hand snaked up his back.

Naruto's eyes snapped open.

Of course.

He never did get used to using the fully functional lock on the door.

A shiver ran up his spine despite the heat of the water and he looked back to see, unsurprisingly, a pair of red ears poking out of a head full of equally violent red hair.

"Gaara…" Naruto sighed, wishing there was more room in the shower to shy away from the cat boy's soft touches. He winced as a pair of soft lips pressed against the top of his back, which was as far as the petite boy could reach without standing on his toes. "Can't you let me go one day without attacking?"

"Get rid of the mutt." Gaara spoke with a rather menacing tone. Naruto rolled his eyes, though highly amused.

"I can't do that, it's cruel. And you know it."

"I don't care. Dogs belong outside." Gaara pressed his body against Naruto's, embracing him from behind and Naruto distinctly felt three things; Gaara's body warm and slick against his back, his wet hair tickling his skin, and something hard poking against his leg….

The blonde gulped thickly and turned around, giving into his desires easily. The heat of the water was making his head spin and his face was flushed, although it had little to do with the heat.

Gaara immediately tip toed up and pressed his lips firmly against Naruto's, who melted into his lips, wrapping his arms around the redhead's small waist. He moaned into the kiss feverently, his thoughts becoming more and more clouded with each passing second. This only increased as Gaara sneaked a stray hand down the Uzumaki's abdomen and wrapped his dainty fingers around Naruto's arousal which responded instantly. Naruto groaned sweetly, breaking away from the kiss and leaning his head back, water dripping into his mouth through his parted lips. Gaara seized the opportunity to reach up and nip playfully at Naruto's neck. The heat in his body was rising, and Naruto was feeling all for skipping fore-play and jumping right into the steamy bits. He roughly propped the redhead up against the tile wall, Gaara moaned wantonly as he jerked his thighs open and pressed needingly against the blonde. Naruto was now panting in need as he positioned himself to enter the catboy, to penetrate him and violate him….

"Oh my, aren't you two quite close."

The shower suddenly felt a lot colder.

Naruto froze.

He turned his head slowly to the right towards the open bathroom door and shrieked loudly like a scared school girl, dropping Gaara from his pinning grasp; Gaara yelped and slid down the tile, landing on his backside with a loud wet thump.

Standing in the doorway was a tall white haired man with a scar over his eye, large white dog ears and a busy tail. He had a strong build and was very lean, wearing a grey kimono draped loosely over his body. He had an amused look on his face but Naruto recognized that glint in his eye anywhere.

Any normal human being would have proceeded to freak the fuck out, call the cops or fight the intruder out but Naruto was already two steps ahead of the situation.

"No! No! Nononononono! NO! Turn back into a dog and go chew on your ass over there or something!!!" He yelled, pointing to the living room like you would a normal, non human turning dog, wrapping a towel around his waist and turning off the shower all with the other hand. Gaara meanwhile sulked at the lost opportunity, still on the floor. Naruto, towel securely wrapped around his nether bits, roughly pushed the man out of the bathroom and began to beat him with his Mothra pillow.

"No…..more….metamorphing….animals!" He cried with each smack. Kakashi shielded himself with his forearm, laughing at Naruto's attempts pleasantly.

"Ah, sorry did I startle you? I assumed you'd be used to seeing-"

"No! Don't even talk! Don't even breathe! I didn't see or hear anything! Lalalala!!!" He covered his head in the pillow and ran around in circles which didn't help how dizzy he felt. Finally he yielded and sat down on the futon in front of the white haired man. He scowled at him pointedly.

"You okay?" Kakashi said with a grin and a tilt of the head, poking Naruto's cheek in obvious amusement. Since when were dogs so smug?

"I'm just wondering why it's always me who had to go through this shit…"

"Well I was going to leave you alone until I saw that whole steamy shower scene. You can't expect me to stand around and watch while kitty has all the fun, can you?" He chuckled softly.

Naruto glared and looked back at the bathroom where Gaara was walking out, making no effort to cover his nude body which was still dripping wet. He also glared at the dog.

"Nobody invited you, Pluto." He said coldly, crossing his arms huffily. "So scram."

"Maa, maa. That's no way to talk to a guest is it?" Kakashi retorted pleasantly. "Ne, Naruto-kun?"

But Naruto was swaying in place, his head still full of steam clouds. He was so aroused in the earlier bathroom scene and his body was still flustered, the tightness between his legs very uncomfortable and keeping his mind elsewhere. The room was a hazy blur and he could barely make out Kakashi's form in front of him. Hot showers were definitely banned from now on. It would save him gas money at least.

"Ah, looks like you two overdid it in there. Tsk tsk." Kakashi shook his head playfully at Gaara and lightly took the blonde into his arms. Naruto shook slightly but wasn't that far gone.

"Hey! Hey hey hey, whoa!! Hands off, puppy!" He yelped, jumping up onto his feet and snapping his hands out in front of him ins some weird Kung-Fu form he had seem somewhere on television earlier. Kakashi just chuckled and in one swift motion, snatched the towel off Naruto's hips. Naruto made an odd gurgled squeaking sound and rapidly sat back down, hiding himself with his legs and hands. Gaara growled and sat down next to his master, shielding him from the silver dog with a venomous scowl.

"You don't have touching privileges. This one is mine. Shoo, shoo." He waved his hand hastily at Kakashi with a sneer. Kakashi simply tilted his head.

"Then are you going to take care of him yourself? If you keep it in for too long you can get sick you know."

"I'll take care of it."

"Let me help, you won't regret it." Kakahi's lips spread into a sly smile and he gently leaned forward, grabbing Gaara's arm and pulling him close. Gaara stiffened at the touch but he couldn't deny his sensitivity. He let out a low whimper as the dog caressed his skin, pulling Naruto close with the other hand. Meanwhile, Naruto was feeling dizzy again and wondering why he was getting so easily turned on by all this. What happened to all his well trained defenses? His vow to prove he wasn't so totally hormonal?

Those were out thrown out the window now along with any morality, dignity, or boundaries and the blonde found himself moaning wantonly as Kakashi's skilled tongue ran down his chest, flicking teasingly over a hardened nipple. His wet body shook in anticipation, gasping out and shamelessly lifting his hips off the futon as Kakashi mercilessly lingered inches away from that one melting spot between his legs that needed so much attention…

"Ah…l-lower…come on…." He begged, spreading his legs open wide. Kakashi smiled and sat up, running a single forefinger up the blonde's hard length earning a low groan from the Uzumaki.

Gaara sat inches away, starring perplexed at the show before him, his body flushed. His eyes lidded over as he became more aroused seeing his master so needy and submissive. The redhead let out a soft moan as he gently touched himself, his eyes unable to tear away from the expression on Naruto's face. Kakashi noticed the cat's transfixion on his master and pulled him closer.

"You've never seen him like this?" Kakashi cooed, pressing his lips into the nape of Gaara's neck and lapping at the creamy damp skin ravishingly. Shivers ran down Gaara's spine and he shook his head, unable to respond as a moan escaped his lips. Naruto was shaking beneath them and his body jolted as two digits suddenly invaded his body.

Kakashi licked his lips as he pushed his fingers further into Naruto's warm crevice, scissoring the ring of muscle open. Gaara watched with half lidded eyes as his master was dominated, watching as Naruto moaned unlike he had ever heard him and lifted his hips and arched his back as he was entered. Kakashi pulled out of Naruto and grinned playfully at Gaara, leading his body on top of the blonde and positioning him above Naruto's arousal. Gaara let himself be handled and moaned as he felt the head of the blonde's length press against his entrance. He shuddered under Kakashi's grasp as the dog feverently kissed and nipped at the back of his neck and shoulder. Naruto watched through one open eye as Gaara lingered above him, moaning out incoherently and shaking his hips. The Uzumaki couldn't recall ever being more turned on than he was at that very moment. Just the sight of Gaara and Kakashi above him was enough to make him come.

Kakashi seemed to notice Naruto's need and smirked. "Don't come just yet, Naruto-kun." He said in an almost sing song voice. "Wait until you're inside of kitty here."

Gaara and Naruto moaned as Kakashi pushed down on the redhead's shoulders, impaling him on Naruto's length. Naruto completely lost it at that point, clamping his eyes shut and throwing his head back with a grunt as he released inside the catboy. Gaara shuddered feeling the warmth spread through his lower belly, his tail twitching uncontrollably.

Kakashi smirked proudly over his work and licked his fingers as some of Naruto's seed as dripped onto him as he held up Gaara's legs. After coming, Naruto's head cleared and he sat up, Gaara moaned at the sudden movement and threw his arms around his neck.

"You didn't have to butt in you know." He snapped at the dog through jagged breaths.

"I didn't exactly see you putting up a fight."

"I..Err….Touché….Touché." He narrowed his eyes. "Ow!" He winced feeling Gaara nip at his earlobe needily with a mewl. Kakashi chuckled.

"We aren't finished, kitty still needs some relief."

"I had a feeling you would say that…."

"Shall we, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto blushed and looked away but nodded and rolled over so that Gaara was under him. The redhead was breathing heavy, his chest rising and falling, the line of his ribcage appearing and reappearing with each breath. Naruto was transfixed by the completely unfiltered lewd form the cat took beneath him. As usual when he gave in to his desires, he thought the familiar "Why did I even try to deny this?!"

"I don't think he needs any preparation, just enter him." Kakashi cooed breathily into Naruto's ear.

"I know that!" Naruto snapped although he shivered in pleasure against the feeling of the cool breath against his ear. Kakashi laughed quietly and pushed Naruto's hips against Gaara as if he was teaching step by step how to screw. Like Naruto needed it. Nevertheless he obliged and entered Gaara with a low gasp.

Gaara tensed up, arching his back off the futon and letting out a loud moan, his toes curling as he felt Naruto digging deeper and deeper into his body until he reached the hilt. His back rested back on the futon and he opened his dark ringed aqua eyes to look hazily up at Naruto.

"Please~….Naruto, please…" He moaned breathily and Naruto gulped and nodded like a dork. Kakashi ran his smooth hands up Naruto's thighs from behind as Naruto obliged to Gaara's request and began to thrust his hips against the redhead who let out loud moans, bordering screams. The dog leaned in and nipped at Naruto's ears, kissed his neck and slyly traced the curve of his back up and down causing Naruto to lose focus and erratically thrust his hips at odd angles. Kakashi found this amusing and cooed into the blonde's ears as he guided Naruto's hips. "Just like that…."

Naruto was on cloud nine, moaning out both of his companions names as he moved his hips, Gaara twisting and writhing in pleasure below him when his natural high came crashing down. He yelped and looked back to see Kakashi once again pressing his fingers into his entrance. The blonde let out a thick groan and shook his head 'no' wordlessly as he wouldn't find any sensible words in his scrambled brain.

"You'll like it, trust me." Kakashi said smoothly with a smirk. "Look at how much kitty is enjoying it."

"T-that's…not the point..Ah!" Naruto jerked his hips as Kakashi pushed his rather large arousal into his body. Naruto bit into his lower lip and fell forward, pressing his body against Gaara who wrapped his arms around his master tightly. Naruto let out an odd squeal he never heard himself make before and would have been mad about it he hadn't been drowning in a sea of pleasure right at that point. Kakashi thrust his hips, letting out a low groan. Naruto's insides clamped tight around him.

"Keep moving." Kakashi said thickly, in a bossy tone Naruto would have usually snapped back at. Instead he gladly obeyed and propped himself up on his arms, thrusting back into the redhead. Stars erupted behind his eyes. Each thrust was unlike anything he ever felt before, his length buried deep inside Gaara's walls while Kakashi pressed against his sweet spot behind him. He moaned loudly with Gaara, only wondering for once second if the neighbors could hear all the racket before rightly decided he didn't give a fuck if they did.

Both his and Kakashi's movements became more sloppy and erratic, Gaara almost unconscious underneath them before Naruto tensed, the muscle in his back convulsing as he came again. The sudden convulsion caused his insides to tighten and Kakashi moaned out his name as he hit orgasm. Gaara was right behind them, arching his back, a thick ribbon of white hitting his chest. All three laxed and fell in one tangled heap on the futon.

Naruto was so grateful to have the AC at that point, he felt hot and sticky and the cold air flowed out of the machine as the thermostat came on cooling his burning body, the fresh air a marvel and relaxing him further. His back throbbed a little and he wanted to push the other two bodies away from him to take another shower but he couldn't fight the deep sleep that overcame his senses.

"Naruto? Naruu. Are you home? Pick up the phone you lazy fat ass…No? Okay we're gunna be there to pick you up in a bit, Sai scored some movie passes and we need to treat Sakura to something before she tries to kill us again…So be ready when we get there or we'll go without you! Bye."

The answering machine declared that was the end of the message and beeped loudly on the tabletop next to assorted gaming magazines and a large antique NES Naruto had found tucked away on a shelf behind used underwear at a thrift shop. The obnoxious beeping of the answering machine awoke Naruto rudely and he groaned loudly as he sat up, his back cracking audibly. He yawned and stretched, rubbing his hair which was sticking up at all possibly angles and then some. The sun was peeking through the single window in the studio apartment and he shivered slightly as the AC was still running, the Charizard thermometer on the wall reading 50 degrees. Naruto shook his head and was about to stand when he felt a petty weight on his legs. He sleepily opened the covers to see a red ginger cat sleeping comfortably under the futon blankets. Gaara's fur was making his leg sweat and he shook the furry animal off. Gaara meowed in annoyance and slid off, curling up in a ball next the him, determined not to wake up.

"Fine.." Naruto muttered, stretching again, the throb in his lower back growing. He winced and looked around, his sleepiness draining away. The clock said 1:45 p.m. It was then he felt another warm furry creature at his side. He blinked and kicked off the blankets to see a large white do snoozing soundly under next to him.

Realization.

Again.

Naruto groaned loudly and buried his face in his hands shamefully. "Please let that have been a dream, oh please please. I can never look at a pet shop again, oh my gosh, please." He muttered, smacking himself on the forehead with his palm. "Idiot! Bad Naruto! Bad! What's the matter with you!? Think with this head! This one! On the shoulders!" He scolded himself a few more times before walking into the bathroom, showering as quickly as humanly possible in COLD water and hastily dressing himself in a pair of black jeans and a white shirt with the Midori Ai logo on the back. He muttered to himself angrily as he stared at the two sleeping animals in his living room.

"I am issues." He said firmly with a stern nod as if the statement was the one unyielding truth of the universe. Which it was.

Just then, someone knocked at the door and Naruto jumped with a shriek before composing himself and walking to answer it. He took a deep breath and shook out his still wet hair before opening the door, bracing himself to see a whole mess of zoo animals waiting outside.

To his surprise, it was human being.

He was slightly taller than Naruto with dark brown hair pulled back into a lose ponytail and a strange scar running horizontally across the bridge of his nose. Naruto thought he looked like the fussy kind, which was apparent by his neat way of dress.

"Naruto Uzumaki?" He asked and Naruto nodded.

"Uh, yeah. And you aree…?"

"Iruka Umino, I called about a few times last night after you left me that message but no one picked up." Naruto sank into inner depression, no finding it odd he missed the phone ringing through all that….excitement. Iruka continued. "I'm here to pick up Kakashi, you said you found him."

"Oh! Yeah, he's….sleeping." Naruto couldn't even look Iruka in the eyes as he invited him in and watched as he called Kakashi, who woke up with a start and barked happily to see his owner, his tail wagging non stop. Naruto narrowed his eyes at him but the dog was too happy to see his master to notice.

"Sorry about this whole thing" Iruka said with a happy grin as he kneeled down to pet the white dog's shaggy fur while putting a red leather leach on his collar. "I moved a few days ago and this guy took off while we were moving the furniture into the new place. I hope he didn't cause too much trouble."

Naruto felt the urge to scream and rant about just how much trouble the pervert was, but bit his tongue and shook his head. "No, not at all. He was a pleasure. I mean! Uh, he was really good. No um, that's is….orgasmic…Err….shit…"

Iruka blinked curiously at Naruto with a raised eyebrow before standing and shaking his hand with one last word of thanks. "Lets go, Kakashi." The dog barked in agreement as Iruka led him out of the apartment. Naruto watched as the dog looked back at him with a weird dog like smile and almost didn't notice the blush that spread across Iruka's face as he walked him out.

"Weird." He sighed, closing the door behind them and leaning against the wall, feeling twice his age and sore all over.

Gaara meanwhile stretched before poofing to his human form and spreading out on the futon, obviously very smug and satisfied.

"I think I underestimated dogs. Maybe they aren't such foul creatures after all."

"Yeah, I beg to differ." Naruto grunted, walking back to the bed and sitting down, turning on the TV. He cursed as an episode of The Dog Whisperer flashed across the screen before violently changing it to cartoons. Gaara smiled in amusement at the sulking Naruto and sat up to comfortingly wrap his arms around his master, lovingly nuzzling his chest. Naruto melted like ice at that point, sighing and embracing the cat tightly.

"What am I going to do with you…" He said with a grin, looking down into the aqua eyes under him. Gaara simply leaned up and kissed him. The kiss took Naruto by surprise and he hesitated before kissing the redhead passionately back, deepening the kiss lovingly.

"I love you…" Gaara whispered as Naruto kissed the side of his lips. Naruto froze, a strange fluttering sensation flooding his stomach and he blushed. He looked hard at Gaara, a bit flustered and taken aback before he coughed awkwardly and looked absentmindedly out the window.

"Uh…ahem….Ditto. I mean…I…love you too."

Gaara smiled and reeled the blonde in, their lips meeting softly once again. It was a personal and intimate kiss and Naruto was quickly swept away by the warmth. He fell forward, taking Gaara with him, running his hands up the redhead's thigh. It wasn't too early for some fun. Really. It was one already.

Gaara mewled happily as Naruto trailed kisses up his neck and nipped at his collarbone lovingly as the neko ran his fingers through his blonde tresses.

It was intimate and close, and the body heat and scent of his body was real and soothing and driving him crazy, making him realize just how he felt until-

"Naruto!!!! Are you ready!?"

The door to apartment number 69 banged open by a harassed looking Sasuke, followed by Sai, Sakura and Karin who hastily let themselves in.

"We only have half an hour befo- HOLY SHIT!"

Naruto stared frozen, mouth agape at the group of people who stood equally frozen, mouth also hanging open in complete bewilderment as a red headed boy with cat ears and tail hung off Naruto wantonly.

Gaara simply meowed.


Reviews are loved! :D I'll give you cake! ....(virtual cake) eAe;