My first fanfic ^^ I've wanted to have more Yellow fanfics read so I ended up with writing one myself for the sake of de-stressing before a big math test that is coming up tomorrow.

Btw: As you all know, Taki is a mix of a confident man and a guarded bundle of insecurities and it never got pointed out why he couldn't sleep after the "Meeting Kei"-arc so I wrote this, I really like warped characters like Taki anyways ^^ English is not my first language and I rarely write in English so if I have some bad grammar you are hereby warned… but please enjoy it anyways.

Disclaimer: This is a fan fiction!! A fan written piece of writing which by no means are the same as the original work, I'm just borrowing the characters a bit. Yellow belong to it's original creator Makoto Tateno-sensei.

I sit down in the couch with gin and a smoke, I can't sleep, the mission with Kei just got me thinking, about a lot; the meaning of Kei's words, my partnership with Gou and his past and… my own past.

It's true that I've slept with enough women to get stabbed in the back, if any of them was serious that is, but none of the was serious and when it began going towards that point I often left or she did. Just to stay alive, I was staying in different places, getting a place of my own without needing ID, working at different jobs; among them as a bartender. For the sake of surviving I learned a lot, built on what I was taught earlier and learning new things, until I got introduced to the snatching job.

Meeting Gou gave a different experience, and luckily I wasn't his type, so after some months I started to trust him bit by bit, even though he tried to seduce me. Now I trust with my life and I can die for his sake, so in a way I love him, I just don't love him romantically, I think.

We trust each other, but we don't know much about each other, even though it's strange to trust someone you barely know it's not necessary for us, knowing that we can back each other up is enough. But meeting his former partner still got to me, because unlike the many guys he bring home this one is different, he has worked with Gou many times before Gou and I even met, a part of Gou's life that I didn't need to know, it hurts to know…

As I take another sip of the gin my thoughts wander towards earlier today, remembering that and clinging to Gou, even letting things go that far…I shiver slightly, Goh is coming out of his room, I ask him if he too couldn't sleep, he blames me and asks what I'm drinking. While I tell him I share some trivia and he makes a pun out of it, he never ask, I never ask, it's like entering red-lighted territory, too risky, even for us. I'm done with my cigarette and on an impulse ask Gou for one, even though I still have enough left, before I light it myself he stops me and shares a light instead, as a payback for the cig he asks for gin, even though he doesn't care for gin, I warn him then pass him a glass. Just like that we sit side by side, towards dawn in silence, after that we go to sleep in our own rooms with a promise to wake up at noon.

Really, times like this, while sharing the silence, it isn't too bad…