A/N: This is me in one of my weak, bored moments. I love CM Punk (with or without his nasty beard) so I had to write something about him. I wrote this a while ago actually. When I thought about his Pepsi tattoo, I said, "Why not?" and out came this. So, um…Enjoy, I guess. :)
"Pepsi, Pepsi. Got to have my Pepsi," sang CM Punk as he walked to his fridge. "It's just the greatest drink in the woooorld!" Punk continued, holding the note. He got his Pepsi and laughed to himself. I'm a horrible singer, he thought.
Punk's girlfriend, former WWE Diva Ashley Massaro, had heard him singing and came into the kitchen. "What are you laughing at?" she questioned. Then, she saw what was in his hands. "Phillip! I told you to stop drinking that nasty stuff. It's not good for you. Hand it over."
Punk's face fell. "Oh, Ash. Come on. It's just one."
"Yeah? Well, one leads to two, which will eventually lead to two hundred. Now, give me the pop." She reached for the can.
"Ashley," Punk said, sounding stern. "This isn't just any pop. You see, this is Pepsi. What would you say if I called your precious Coca-Cola 'pop?'"
Ashley rolled her eyes. For some reason, Pepsi was a very touchy subject with CM. "You want the truth?" Punk nodded. "I'd say, 'Wow, Phil. You hit the nail on the head. This is pop.'"
Punk exhaled sharply. "Ugh. You just don't understand."
"And besides, I only drink Coke, like, once a week. I have it under control. You, on the other hand, can't stop at one. You just keep going and going and going." She pointed at him. "You're addicted and you know it. You couldn't stop drinking Pepsi if you tried. I guarantee it."
"Could too!" CM was outraged. Of course, he could stop if he wanted to. He was CM Punk, after all. "I just wanna drink it. I can stop at any time."
A light bulb came on in Ashley's head. "So you think you can stop drinking the pop? Well, then, do it. I wanna see you try."
Punk's eyes narrowed. "Bring it, Masarro."
"Oh, I will," she replied. "You can finish that can, but starting tomorrow morning, you have to go the whole day without it. So I hope you savor the taste, Phil. I have a feeling it's gonna be a long day."
"And if I succeed?" CM wasn't going to agree to anything unless he got something in return.
Ashley sighed. "If you don't touch the Pepsi until sometime after we wake up the day after, I will do whatever you want me to. Deal?"
CM thought long and hard about this. He held out his hand. "Deal," he said. His hand was shook firmly by Ashley. In the back of his mind, CM knew she was right; it would be a long day tomorrow. He also knew that failure was not an option.
Ashley walked out of the kitchen, and CM took his Pepsi into the living room. He looked at the coffee table and saw his cell phone sitting there. He picked it up and called one of his wrestling friends, John Hennigan.
After a couple rings, John picked up. He obviously had seen Punk's name on the caller ID because he said, in an aggravated voice, "Phil, what do you want?"
CM didn't realize that John didn't really want to talk to him. "John, guess what Ash is making me do tomorrow." He didn't give John time to guess. "She thinks I drink too much Pepsi so she wants me to quit drinking it for a whole twenty-four hours. Can you believe that?" Once again, he began talking right away, not allowing John to answer. "I mean, I don't drink it that much, do I?"
"Well…" John didn't really want to tell Punk that he was addicted to it. "You do drink an unhealthy amount, I would say. But what do I know?"
Punk slurped his pop. "Yeah, you're right. You don't know. But, you know me. You know I could stop if I felt like it."
"Yeah, I guess… Wait. Are you drinking Pepsi right now?"
CM took another sip. "Uh-huh. Why do you ask?"
"Why couldn't you just make a head start on the not drinking it? You're not really proving to Ashley that you can stop. It seems like you just started drinking it right after you agreed to this."
"Oh, man." Punk was now dejected. "Do you think that she thinks I can't do it? 'Cause I can do it. It may be hard, but I can do it."
"I'm sure you can, but I don't think you should have any more after that can. Just try not to, anyway. Restrain yourself. It's called self-control."
"Okay, I'll try. It's just… It's so irresistible, you know? I just can't stop myself."
Trying to comfort his friend, John said, "Don't worry, Phil. I believe in you. Just find other ways to occupy your time."
"Thanks, John. All right, I guess that's all I needed to tell you. Bye."
"See ya," said John, as Punk ended the phone call.
Punk thought over the things John said. He made some pretty good points. To take his mind off of things, Punk decided to have a bite to eat. He had finished his Pepsi and decided to follow John's advice. He wouldn't drink another pop for the rest of this day. He opened the fridge and, instead of taking his regular drink, he took out a bottle of water. He went into the bedroom, where he assumed Ashley would be.
His assumptions were right. She was sitting in front of the computer, emailing someone.
She jumped when she heard Punk's voice. After the shock wore off, Ashley looked back at him. "Yeah?"
"I'm feeling kind of hungry. You have any idea what I could have?" Punk was so hungry, his stomach was growling like crazy.
"I don't know," Ashley said, trying to contain herself when she heard her boyfriend's stomach. "What do you want?"
"I'm thinking some saucy macaroni," he suggested. "Maybe with some shells?"
"Ooh, saucy elbows," Ashley said, giggling. "Sure, I'll get right on it. Right after I'm done on the computer."
Punk nodded and then left the room. He plopped himself back down on the couch and turned on the television. He flipped through the channels, finding nothing that intrigued him.
Twenty minutes later, his food was ready. He ate it in silence, missing his Pepsi already. He would have to get over it. He was going to have to live without it for an entire day. If he couldn't make it without his pop for a couple hours, how was he going to handle not having it for a whole day?
When he finished eating, he was still bored, having no Pepsi. He wandered into his bedroom and got on the computer. He checked his email, but there were no unread messages to reply to. This caused his boredom to increase.
After multiple hours of doing basically nothing, CM decided to get ready for bed. Ashley had been surprised the whole night, having not seen Punk pick up a Pepsi once. She was actually proud of him, but the pride wouldn't come fully until he went an entire day without it.
The next morning, Ashley decided to keep a close eye on Punk. She didn't want to take any chances at losing this bet. She was watching him like a hawk. Ashley made it her business to keep him from touching to Pepsi.
Punk must have known she was spying on him because he didn't touch the pop as far as she knew. He was keeping his promise; he was winning this bet. Nothing was going to stop him. He had never been so determined in his life. Was he longing for his Pepsi? You bet, but he was a competitive guy. He wasn't going to fail.
Instead of thinking about his favorite beverage, CM occupied himself by practicing his lines in the mirror. He had to get his lectures right for SmackDown.
"You guys are all going to go out to your bars, drink your alcohol, and get drunk. Then, you're gonna smoke your cigarettes and wait to be diagnosed with lung cancer. Do your drugs and overdose. And you know what? I'm gonna be there laughing. You should've listened to me when you had the chance." He sounded as snotty as ever. "You know what straight-edge is? Straight-edge means that I am better than you. Each and every one of you. I don't need all those chemicals. You people are all just weak." He laughed at his little lecture. "I wish I could call them big, fat failure turtles like Edge did."
Ashley walked in then. "You enjoy looking at yourself in the mirror, eh?" She smirked at him. He just stared angrily at her. "Yeah, that's what I thought."
He looked at her and said in a disgruntled tone, "Like you're never in front of the mirror."
"Oh, Phil. You're just on edge 'cause you haven't had any Pepsi."
"How do you think I feel without it? I feel like I'm dying. But I will persevere." He honestly had a look of pain on his face.
Ashley patted Punk's head. "Of course, you will, honey. I have faith in you, believe it or not." She smiled at him. "I really think you can do it if you put your mind to. Who knows? Maybe you'll stop drinking Pepsi forever?"
"Keep wishing," Punk replied. He would never stop drinking his pop. Never. No one could make him quit. Oh, no, he thought. Maybe being addicted to Pepsi is just like being addicted to all of those things I criticize people for. Am I a hypocrite?
The day dragged on and CM still hadn't touched the Pepsi. Ashley was still watching him though.
He bided some time and started exercising. He lifted some weights, but he just wasn't into it at all. He decided to get on the treadmill. He saw Ashley's boom box sitting in the corner of his home gym and turned the radio on. He kept flipping through the stations but all he heard was people like Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift. Disgusted with the music, he turned the radio off. He went into his room and looked through his CDs. There wasn't anything there he wanted to listen to either so he opted to have no music.
He went back to the treadmill and began with a slow jog. His speed increased and he was soon running like a mad man. When he was through with that, he looked over and saw a punching bag that Ashley had bought. He thought that it would be a good think to take his frustrations out on. He sauntered over to the bag and began throwing punches. He punched and punched with so much passion that when Ashley came to see what he was doing, she actually got frightened. She had never seen him so angry. She had originally come down to tell him that the deal was off; if he wanted to have Pepsi, he could have Pepsi. But when she saw him like this, she figured she would be better off if she just left him alone.
Punk didn't know that Ashley had ever come into the room. He just continued punching without stopping. When he had got all of his anger out of his system, he went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. That was pretty much all he had been drinking all day. It was the only replacement for the Pepsi.
By the time his workout was over, the end of the day was nearing. CM hadn't touched a Pepsi though he daydreamed about it all day. Ashley was flabbergasted. Even though just a little while earlier, she was going to call off the bet, she was sort of upset that she was definitely going to lose either way.
"Well," she said to herself as she brushed her teeth at night. "At least there's no Pepsi in him."
Punk was thinking about how the next day would go. He'd finally be able to drink his most beloved soft drink tomorrow. That was the only thing on his mind. He couldn't wait to take a sip of it. He didn't care if Ashley would prefer a Pepsi-free him; if he wanted his pop, he was going to drink it. While he sat in bed, waiting for Ashley, he fantasized about his first sip of Pepsi in twenty-four hours.
Ashley came in shortly after. Before saying good night to CM, she looked over at him. "I'm real proud of you, Phil. No Pepsi today. Good job. You reached your goal…Well, my goal but whatever. You accomplished it, and you beat me. You won."
CM nodded his head. He was only barely paying attention. The Pepsi goodness was all he could think of. "Yep. Uh-huh. Thanks, Ash. Told you I could do it," he said, slightly distracted.
Ashley didn't seem to notice Punk's unease. She nodded, a bit embarrassed. "Yeah, you did say you could. I'm just stubborn and think I always have to be right. Well, I usually am right, but I'll try to work on that." She thought back to the bet. "Um…what exactly are you going to want me to do?"
CM hadn't even been thinking of the rewards of the bet. The only thing he really concentrated on was the winning of it. He scratched his head, but still was off in another world. Still distracted, he said, "Uh, I don't know. I didn't really think about it. If I come up with anything, you'll be the first to know."
Ashley, not looking at him, nodded and said, "Oh. Okay. Well, night, babe. Love you." She was a little surprised that their deal wasn't his first priority.
"Uh-huh. Love you, too." He kissed her forehead. "Night."
CM couldn't get to sleep as quickly as Ashley could. She was a fast sleeper so within a couple minutes, her eyes had closed and she was asleep. No sound came from her except her light breathing.
Punk fidgeted a little as he lay in the bed. He felt uncomfortable. He was squirming, an action that he never did. Something didn't feel right. He was usually sleeping as soon as his head hits the pillow, but tonight was different. Tonight, there was something looming over his mind, and that something was preventing him from sleeping.
He looked over at Ashley's sleeping form. He had a feeling she wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. Ashley slept through everything. Thunderstorms, hail, you name it, Ashley didn't hear it. There could be a hurricane or an earthquake and she might not make it just because she never heard anything.
Knowing it was wrong and that it was the most forbidden thing he could ever do, CM quietly got out of bed. At this moment, though, he couldn't care less. It wasn't even him doing this. A power unknown to him was taking over. He believed that he had no control of his actions. Technically, the day wasn't over; it was only ten o'clock. He tip-toed out of his room, down the hall, and into the kitchen.
It seemed as if there was a light shining on the refrigerator. It was glowing like a halo on the head of an angel. The fridge was calling for him, beckoning him to come over, to open it up. It taunted him, it teased him.
He stared longingly at the fridge. Before he knew it, he was taking faster, longer steps toward it. He got closer, closer, closer. He was standing right in front of the fridge. Losing the possession of his movements, some unknown force made him open the door. His head was going into the coldness of the fridge as he stared at the one thing he longed for in life. It was the only thing he ever wanted. He could never get enough of it.
"Hello, my angel," he said to the Pepsi. This was his moment. He was so close to the one thing he desired. His hands were wrapped around it—and then…
The light in the room came on. Startled, Punk turned around. Ashley was there. She had an evil grin on her face. "I win the bet."
Okay, um yeah…I have no words. If you liked it, why don't you just click on the review button and let me know. Or not…