"Kakashi." Tsunade called after him when he turned from her desk, mission assignment in hand.
"You've got blood on your mask." The tawny eyes pierced him. It wouldn't be the first time he hadn't reported an injury; it certainly wouldn't be the last, and he was especially touchy about injuries to his face. "Something you need me to take a look at?"
Kakashi touched his mask, feeling the slightly sticky spot over his lips. "Maa, it's nothing. Just a chapped lip, and between my team's training, my explorations of the road of life, and the fact that I spent most of yesterday helping an old lady re-shingle her roof, I haven't had a spare moment to get anything for it."
The hokage was shaking her head in amused disbelief. "Jounin. You'd think you people could take care of yourselves." She fished around in the deep pockets of her green coat, finally fishing out a small metal tin. She tossed it in his direction and sat back in her chair. "Chap stick. Or at least a close substitute. Use it. I have no desire to smell any more blood on you than I have to."
He tucked the medicine into his vest and gave her a jaunty salute. "Yes, ma'am."
Though he didn't look at her as he left, he could tell that the Godaime was rolling her eyes behind him.
The lip balm was slightly gooey, leaving a fine patina of grease on his fingers for hours after he'd applied it. But, to be fair, it was doing miracles for his lips.
The mission report was tucked under his arm because he didn't particularly want to smear the oil onto the papers. Too many questions could come out of that.
He ducked through the door to the mission room and was immediately overwhelmed by the dull roar brought on by too many people all talking at once. Interestingly enough, they were all crowded into the leftmost two lines, giving the third chuunin working the desk a wide berth.
Kakashi wasn't sure what Iruka'd done to strike the fear of god into the other shinobi, but he didn't particularly care. He was exhausted, dirty and sore, and all he wanted to do was turn in his mission report and go home. And, for some reason, he suddenly only wanted to talk to Iruka.
Still, he was surprised when Iruka smiled up at him as he approached – apparently the ire was only directed at the people who were already in the room – and he couldn't help but grin back. "Afternoon, Iruka-sensei."
Why was his heart pounding like that? He was grateful for the overly-loud conversation filling the room, otherwise the people around him might very well be able to hear it.
He let his fingers brush against the back of Iruka's hand as the paperwork traded possession, and when the chuunin blushed slightly at the contact, butterflies exploded in the pit of his stomach.
"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."
Kakashi leaned forward and cupped a hand behind his ear. "What?"
"I said, 'thank you, Kakashi-sensei.'" Iruka repeated louder.
The chuunin wasn't exactly soft spoken, and Kakashi had heard him fine the first time. He'd just succumbed to the inexplicable desire to hear the other man say his name again.
Iruka couldn't concentrate. The mission room had finally cleared out, and he'd pulled out his classes' tests from earlier in the day, intent on finishing the grading. But his brain was refusing to cooperate.
He'd actually been daydreaming about Kakashi for at least the last half an hour. Though it probably started longer ago, he'd just been able to continue working for a while.
"Wow, Iruka, you've got it bad."
"I know…" The words came out of his mouth even though he wasn't really sure what 'it' was.
Iruka smoothed the soft shirt self-consciously. He'd argued with himself all the way home, through the process of changing and all the way over to the jounin's house. This was insane! Why was he bothering Kakashi? Why couldn't he think about anything else? He tugged at the hem of the shirt. Maybe he should have just worn his uniform shirt and pants. Maybe it would look like he was trying too hard. Maybe…
The door in front of him swung smoothly open, and he gaped at the jounin who was framed and backlit by the lights inside.
Masked, as usual, but shirtless.
Iruka opened his mouth, trying desperately to remember all the lines he'd practiced on the way over to explain his presence, but nothing could surface when his brain was so distracted by the long length of pale muscles.
Before he could kick-start his mind, Kakashi lunged forward and practically slammed him against the opposite wall, mouth devouring his. Some small voice in his mind was protesting that they were in the hall, that anyone could walk by, that…. But Kakashi's strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling his body flush, forcing his shoulders against the wall and his back to arch away to keep contact with the other man.
He finally broke away, gasping for breath. "In…inside…we…"
Kakashi yanked him forward, but he barely noticed as they stumbled into the apartment, pushing and tugging at each other's clothes. All protests died, and he surrendered.
Everything hurt. He tried to roll over, but was hindered by aching pains in every single muscle – including some he didn't even know he had – and a weight across his chest.
Plus his brain felt like it was trying to jackhammer its way out of his skull.
He groaned out loud, only to hear the sentiment echoed from the general vicinity of his right shoulder.
"What the hell are you doing in my bed!"
Kakashi raised a finger. "Point. This is my bed." He dropped his hand back to the sheets before sitting up sharply. "Iruka?" Both men stared at each other, the hazy events of the previous night slowly filling themselves in.
Shizune was shaking her shoulder, trying to nudge her awake and convince her to move to her own bed instead of sleeping across her desk, again. She staggered sleepily upright, knocking her jacket off the chair and onto the floor. As she bent to collect it, a metallic sound echoed through the room as an item fell out of the right pocket. The small tin had a pale green streak painted across the top, and she peered blearily at it, as if it didn't make sense.
"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune returned to find Tsunade leaning over her desk, her coat spread over the various books and papers on the top, and pawing through the pockets, muttering, "Where is it?"
The hokage collapsed into her chair, holding the small, circular container that had fallen out of her coat between her fingers at eye level. "This is not good."
Iruka'd practically leapt out of the bed; only to bite his lip in pain as his legs almost refused to hold his weight. He scrambled around, managing to find his underwear, but nothing else. "Where are my pants?"
"I…think they're in the living room." Kakashi'd remained in bed, but had turned his back to the other man to accord him some measure of privacy.
Though after last night, the gesture was kind of like trying to drain the ocean with a slotted spoon.
At the thought of last night, Iruka felt heat flare across his face and down his neck, and he fled towards the living room, hoping to find the rest of his clothes intact. But given what he'd remembered so far, he wasn't holding his breath.
He was retrieving his pants from behind the couch – still in one piece though the button was completely missing and the zipper had seen better days – when a loud hammering on the door threatened to split his throbbing skull.
He jammed a hand against his eye, trying to hold in the pulsing, and flung the door open the moment he had his pants on, hoping to forestall any more loud sounds.
The Hokage stood on the opposite side. Her eyes widened when she saw him. "Oh dear."
Kakashi'd gotten dressed quickly when Tsunade called down the hall, telling him to get his ass out of bed and in the living room ASAP. He was sitting on one end of the sagging couch, Iruka on the other, as far away as he could possibly get from the jounin.
"I gave you the wrong medicine." Tsunade was explaining. "What I gave you was an experimental drug designed to increase libido on skin contact as a method of passively subduing an enemy. It would be particularly useful on undercover missions."
"You gave me something that made me horny?" The whole situation would probably be vastly amusing in a few days, but as it was, Kakashi was just irritated.
"Not exactly. If it was like that, you would have jumped the first person you saw." Tsunade eyes darted to Iruka and back. "I assume that wasn't Iruka."
Kakashi shook his head.
"Like I said, it's experimental. It's not working as I hoped – it's decreasing inhibition… and heightening existing emotions." She watched the expressions and was almost able to see the cogs whirling behind their eyes.
"Wait, you're saying that it…that unless I…." Iruka trailed off, his dark eyes wide.
The jounin sitting beside him straightened, brightened and eased towards him. "You liiiiike me." He drawled the words out, putting extra emphasis on the middle, oh-so-important word.
"Hey! You." Iruka jammed a finger into Kakashi's chest, "Kissed. Me."
Kakashi just smiled at him.
This. was. fantastically fun to write. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!