It appeared that Near's messenger had gone into complete shock. He had stopped even attempting to splutter things and instead had stood rather awkwardly, stared at L, and then left the room without a word. It wasn't often that sane people visited the task force and whenever they did she felt reminded that she was in fact right, she worked in intolerable conditions.
Naomi turned to L, "I think you overdid it there Mr. Holmes, perhaps we should be more tactful when trying to eliminate our terrorist friends."
"He'll be back," L said calmly as he also proceeded to stand watching the door with expectant eyes, "He doesn't have his notebook yet."
"L, my loyalties to you are limited and you're actually competent, how loyal do you think he is to your understudy?" Naomi pointed out, "Because if it was me, at this point, I would have left ages ago with or without that notebook."
"Yes but I wouldn't have sent you, now would I? You do know, Misora, that most people do have a smidgen of loyalty toward their employers and that you are in fact not the norm." L said in a rather scathing tone, "I suppose we should follow him out before he makes a mess of things."
"Normal for my situation jackass," Naomi said rejecting his words as they made their way toward the door, "You expect me to work for you for over four years and still think you're the greatest thing to ever walk the earth."
"Most people do, yes." L said, "Look at Matsuda."
"Well then they're idiots." Naomi said, although even Matsuda appeared to be losing his faith in L if he sent in Naomi for damage control.
"You're just jaded."
Then they opened the door to find Near's messenger desperately looking at Matsuda for advice, "What am I supposed to do?" He was asking Matsuda with a rather piteous tone.
Naomi glanced at L, "Yep you really handled this bit of public relations well, he's asking Matsuda for advice."
"Um, well, you know, maybe you could just explain to Near that we're really okay without his…" Matsuda managed to stutter as he desperately sought both L and Noami's eyes in a plea for help, advice, or anything that might make the situation better.
"No you're not, Kira's been at it unhindered for six years! He's been in charge of everything! Think about it, who is really in charge of this investigation, who gives you all the information and steers you in the direction he wants! It's Kira, not L or his replacement or any of you…" He trailed off as he noticed that L and Naomi had exited the room.
The sad thing was that Light had been doing none of that ever since L had conveniently not-died, most of the time he just argued with L or was being sexually harassed by L, Light didn't even bother to steer the task force in the wrong direction because in the end they had absolutely no direction to go.
"Misora, would you please debrief this man on the current situation, I hate repeating myself." L said with a hand wave as if brushing the man out of existence.
"Am I your secretary now?" Naomi asked glaring at him out of the corner of her eye.
"I'm sorry, didn't I hear something about how your lover has gone missing? I couldn't hear over your constant complaining." L responded, without giving Naomi the chance to shout that he was her husband and she had been married for quite some time, and made his way over to the door, "Unfortunately I'd love to stay around but since Matsuda appears to be busy I will be buying my own doughnuts tonight. Try not to break anything or get kidnapped."
And L left. L left them with Near's messenger, just like that, and there was nothing the rest of them could do about it.
"That bastard." Naomi said her eyes locked on the door. He had left. He had really done it. He had left them alone with his heir's crony who looked hopelessly lost and confused and had left Matsuda to negotiate details. He'd really done it. L had crossed many lines in his lifetime but in that moment he had crossed one line too many. Naomi vowed in that moment that she would destroy L or at least make his life miserable until she managed to find her husband.
Naomi turned to her cohorts, "Well, I suppose I have no choice. I guess I will be taking over the task force for the brief period where neither Ryuzaki nor Light give a hot damn."
She noticed that the others were beginning to look nervous and then slightly confused as they realized that she was probably the lesser of three evils; which said a lot, considering they thought she was the crazy cat lady.
L wanted a price? She'd give him a price. She'd take his precious investigation away from him and leave him with nothing, and then he could start negotiating. She'd sit on his stupid computer chair throne surrounded by his minions and watch as he tried to beg his way into the office.
It was a new Naomi, a Naomi who wasn't going to take shit, and she had just been given her opportunity.
(That and the only real way to motivate L was to make him fear for his life.)
"Well gentlemen, I believe we've been presented a priceless opportunity." And she smiled.
Near's negotiator paled and turned to Matsuda and then back to her perhaps imagining her manipulating the task force in order to further Light's goals. She was manipulating the task force, so he was right about that, but it sure as hell wasn't for Light.
"A… A what?" Matsuda asked smiling and shaking his head.
"Ryuzaki has left the building, let's discuss how we actually feel about our lord and master."
Matsuda breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh, okay, for a minute there you were getting pretty scary there but if we're just discussing…"
He looked at the others who were still somewhat terrified and realized that discussing didn't mean what he thought it meant, apparently.
"We have been harassed for over five years with nothing to show for it. We have worked ourselves to the bone, distanced ourselves from our families, locked our sons in prison, locked ourselves in prison, watched as this entire investigation has disintegrated to the point where we can't even take ourselves seriously anymore."
They were still staring at her in shock, she must have gone pretty deep into Light impersonation mode if she had managed to strike that much terror into their faces. That should have been a more frightening realization than it was but somehow Naomi could not find it in her to care.
"If we want to actually stop Kira we need to stop sitting on our assess and do something! We're being made fools of! We're so pathetic that a twelve year-old who probably can't even function in anything resembling normal society actually has a reasonable argument in why he should take over the investigation."
The others looked at each other, Aizawa coughed and then said, "Look, Naomi, I know it's frustrating but…"
"Shut up asshole!" Naomi interjected before he could continue, "Can you think of one time in the last four years that anything has actually gotten done? Anything that actually will help us find Kira."
There was a slight pause from everyone and Naomi decided to take it as complete confirmation. They all seemed uncomfortable but they weren't about to deny it either.
"You think you'd do any better…" Aizawa began but was cut off again by Naomi.
She stopped shouting and simply gave him the Light Yagami glare of death and spoke quietly, "Yes, Aizawa, I think I would."
"Well I don't, Ryuzaki has done his best…" Aizawa started looking at his fellow task-force members for confirmation.
"Really? This is his best? Maybe four years ago was his best, but can you honestly say he gives a damn right now? He just left us alone with a spy seeking information in order to go get coffee which was really just a thinly veiled excuse for not wanting to deal with him. Are you honestly trying to tell me that Ryuzaki was trying five minutes ago when he walked out the front door?"
"That doesn't mean I want you in charge." Aizawa said with narrowed eyes.
"Fine, anybody can be in charge, just as long as it's not Ryuzaki I am fine with it." She said crossing her arms, so long as she could make L suffer she didn't really care who was in charge of the damn Kira case.
Aizawa apparently hadn't been expecting this he blinked and looked around his eyes finally settling on Soichiro, "Why not the chief?"
The chief looked surprised then proud and was about to respond when Naomi cut him off, "No, too biased. Please, that will only fuel Near's point."
"Are you saying that Light is Kira?!"
"No, I'm just saying that if we want to look legitimate we can't have our only suspect's father head the investigation."
"Fine, then I will head the investigation."
"Good? That's it?"
"Fine by me."
They stared at each other for a few moments the tension almost visible. Aizawa turned to his new task force then and appeared to try to decide what the hell he actually wanted to do. Apparently he didn't actually want to do anything because he ended up looking back to Naomi for guidance.
Good, now that that was settled, she turned back to Near's messenger who looked as if he was still trying to absorb what just happened. He looked at her and then back at Aizawa and then at the door where L had disappeared and then back.
"I can't leave without that notebook." He finally said.
"Unfortunately I actually agree with Ryuzaki on that one, we can't just hand the notebook out to anyone who claims to be more competent than us. I'd love to but frankly given your boss' alma mater's track record I'm a wee bit hesitant. I mean I don't know him personally so I hate to stereotype but really… there are truths to stereotypes."
He blinked for a few moments, shook his head and repeated, "I cannot leave without that notebook."
"Wow, you actually are dedicated." Naomi said in shock, "Wait a minute, is Near, actually a good person?"
"…" The man seemed to have difficulty answering that question eventually he managed to say, "Yes. Now can I please have the notebook."
"So, what is he like?" Naomi asked well and truly baffled as she tried to reform her image of Near, "Does he… go outside ever?"
"… Well no but… That's really not your concern."
"So he's also a recluse, but he's nice, he's a good employer? He didn't deem one of your team coffee-boy?"
"… Can I please have the notebook?"
"So he actually is an ass, you just don't want to admit it because you're working for the greater good."
"Well, that's beautiful. I hate to break this to you but here at this task force we work for the greater good as well, otherwise I'm pretty sure we would have thrown L out of a window by now." Naomi said looking to her fellow members for support which didn't seem too forthcoming, "Or rather I work for the greater good."
"I trust Near way more than I trust you."
Naomi looked at him dubiously, "Would it insult you if I considered than an insult?"
Just before the man was going to stubbornly ask for the notebook again Light finally decided to show up, "I heard we're having Ryuzaki arrested for the possession of narcotics, why wasn't I told earlier?" He entered with a broad grin and a very expensive camera hanging about his neck, apparently Matsuda had said word for word what she had told him to. Good for him.
"Well you're not late or anything." Naomi noted and then turned to Near's messenger, "This is Light, if you want to bother someone about the Kira thing go talk to him."
Light looked over at the man and back to Naomi no longer quite so amused, "Can I have the elevator pitch of the scenario before you throw me to the wolves?"
Naomi sighed and began to summarize her latest day at the office, "Well I walked in and Matsuda was concerned over Frodo's wellbeing. He assumed Ryuzaki was going to try to dump Frodo and Doormat on poor Mister..." Naomi paused as if to ask his name and then decided she didn't really care, "Whoever this is. He was very worried about the state of L's morality and since I was the only one here I went to deal with it. I also wanted to talk to him about my missing husband, who no one seems to care about, but that's another story. I went in and he had kept Mr… We'll call you Smith for now in his room for probably an hour or so just staring at him in that creepy way he does. Mr. Smith was demanding the notebook claiming that we were incompetent, which is kind of true, and said that we should give it up to Near. We informed him that we don't actually have the notebook but he didn't really believe it. He also thinks your Kira and have been sidetracking us for years and he didn't believe it when we told him that this is just the way things roll around here. Well Mr. Smith got frustrated and left the room to consult with Matsuda, Ryuzaki got so bored that he actually went to get coffee himself instead of sending Matsuda, and I decided that we should declare mutiny and overthrow him. I'm in charge because if we put you in charge it may give Near more reasons to bother us."
Light blinked a little and then looked at the task force to see if they had followed her rambling either, apparently they hadn't, he looked back to her, "You know L did tell me that on the event of his death I was to be his successor. If we're really declaring mutiny even though it might make things inconvenient for Near I think I should be put in control."
Light was grabbing at power, well that was a little predictable. She looked at Near's messenger, "Will you continue to do business with us if Light is in charge?"
"I assumed Light was in charge."
"And look how much we're getting down now, see Light we can't put you in charge, it just gives Near an excuse to walk all over us."
Light appeared to think about this for a few moments and then responded, "Naomi, if he's going to assume I'm in charge anyway I may as well be in charge. Besides, it would be rather pathetic of us to roll over and die just because a twelve year old makes a few demands."
Well there went having power over Light Yagami, at least judging by the much more relieved faces of the task force. Except for Matsuda who looked a little more nervous than he had when Naomi declared herself to be in charge. Of all the people to catch on to Light's true nature she hadn't expected it to be Matsuda. Not that Matsuda's opinion would matter much to everyone else, it was pretty well useless.
Naomi decided to cut her losses and be blunt, "Light, where the hell is my husband?"
Light's eyebrows raised as if he had no idea what she was talking about, "I don't know. What does that have to do with my taking control of the taskforce?"
"Goddammit Light, my husband is missing. He goes missing the moment my back is turned."
"Yes, but you also didn't notice he was gone for quite some time."
"That's not the point! The point is that he's gone and that no one seems to give a damn. Half of you can't even remember that I am married! Most of you think I'm crazy cat-lady!"
And now they were all looking at her with blank expressions. Great. There went plans. She sighed put her hands on her hips and said, "Alright, fine, I'll go find Ryuzaki and break the bad news."
"Yes do that, also make sure he brings back the coffee. I rather like the idea of Ryuzaki as coffee-boy."
And those were Light Yagami's, king of the task force, parting words. She really hated everyone she worked with.
We should have done this to L years ago
Author's Note: Wow it's been a while since I've updated. Anyway thank you everyone for reviewing and for reading and all of that wonderful jazz. Reviews are always appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note