A/N: *Clears throat*
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-...ppy Birthday! :D
XD This is my birthday Gift to NintendoGal55! :D It's her birthday today! So I wanted to do something special! :D :D :D That's what I meant by, "I'm running out of time, and I desperately need the space" back in my new fic "Brainy's Confession". :D Yup, I needed to get this done before the dead line! So here we are!
And now for a song... Sing with me! :D
Some Guy: Don't sing with her.
Me: Sing with me!
Some Guy: Don't do it.
Some Guy: Don't...
Some Guy: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me: *Tosses guy out window* ...NOW SING! :D
~Happy Birthday to you!~
~I like Beef Stew!~
~Happy Birthday to you!~
~Cows say Moo!~
Some Guy: *Yelled from out window* I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT!
Me: *Shuts window* :D Now we will continue!
Some Guy: *Muffled* NO!
~Oh, you're getting real old!~
~You're smellin' like mold!~
~You're losin' your teeth!~
~You cannot eat beef!~
~Gettin' wrinkles all over!~
~Ever since last October!~
~Your back's aching real bad!~
~And you're startin' to sag!~
~You're losin' your hair!~
~And people are startin' to stare!~
~You can hardly hear!~
~You need a new ear!~
~Prescriptions and shots!~
~You're seein' spots!~
~Got hair in your nose!~
~Can't touch your toes!~
~HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYY BIRTHDAY... TO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!~
*Music goes off*
*Cricket heard in backround*
-_- Yeah, yeah, spur of the moment dance numbers don't work. Whatever! :D Point is, happy birthday bud! :D Have a good one, Miss Saggy-Pants! XD
Ah, you know I'm messin' with ya. You only just turned twenty. That song suits my mom better.
Oh, hi Mom! :D
Enjoy, Nintendo! :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold!
Family Movie Night
Dedicated to NintendoGal55
You know, I have absolutely no idea HOW this happened to me, but it did.
"Arnold! Is the popcorn done yet?!"
Yeah, there she is.
Love? Where did that come from? I'm not sure I'll ever know. It just kind of... happened.
Oh, looks like the popcorn's finally ready. I take the bag out of the microwave, as the strong smell of popped goodness meets my nose. Ahhhh... Nothing like a nice Saturday night, just me and-
"Hi Dad! Oooh! Popcorn!" He snatches it right out of my hands, and opens it up, stuffing a handful into his mouth.
I gape at him. "And here I thought me and your mom taught you better manners." I roll my eyes, and snatch the popcorn back. "You could have just asked. It's not like I wouldn't have shared." I almost glare at him, but then remember that this is my sixteen year old son, not Helga. But still, the resemblance is uncanny. Same gorgeous blue eyes, golden blonde hair, and he even got the unibrow that I grew to adore so back when we first started dating. Of course, she got rid of it, but every time I see Zack here, it makes me feel a bit nostalgic of it.
"I know you would have shared. So what's the point in asking, Arnold?" And once again a wave of nostalgia hits me. He's snickering, I realize, but I barely register it. I shake my head, and stare at him for another moment. "Ugh, you're entirely too much like your mother." I shake my head, walking out of the kitchen and back out into the living room. There I find her curled up on a pillow, the tv lights flashing in the dim light and highlighting her sparkling blue eyes, her golden hair spread across the pillow as the television only seems to increase it's beautiful shine. I feel myself getting lost in the sight. I walk towards her, as she barely even glances at me. I set the popcorn down on the coffee table, and then just stare at her. I don't feel much like watching tv at the moment, but I see that she hasn't noticed my staring either. It's interesting... when we first started dating, for years I'd always had her rapt attention when I walked into a room. Over the many years of marriage, though, I see that she's gotten much more relaxed with my presence. I don't exactly worry about it, though. She still loves me, I know. But she's just been more relaxed and at ease around me now. Thus the result of so many years of being together. She feels secure and safe... at least, I hope she does. She told me that a long time ago, but I remembered. It's something important to me.
It's been a few minutes now, but it seems that the tv has her attention more than me. I ponder turning it off for a few moments, but then realize that would just annoy her and I still wouldn't get what I want. But I feel a bit jealous of that big, stupid, glowing box.
Yes, you finally realize that you've officially gone off the deep end when you're jealous of an inanimate object. But what can I say? I've been in love with her most of my life. I'm used to getting her attention, and that blasted television is stealing my thunder.
I scoot a bit closer to her on the couch, but she doesn't seem to notice too much. I scoot a little closer, as my thigh is now touching her feet. She's laying on her side, and her knees are bent a bit. She looks comfortable I see, and perfectly intent on staring at the tv instead of me. I begin adjusting it so that I'm laying behind her, my back pressed up against the couch, and my hand down on the softness of the couch. I lean over her, and take a peak to see if she's noticed my now close proximity. She glances at me with a raised eyebrow, and I chuckle a little. She's so cute like that. I just love that expression she gives me. But after a few seconds, she just closes her eyes, shakes her head, and then looks back at the television, much to my distaste. What now?
I get an idea then, and it's a very enjoyable one. I bow my lips down to her neck, and have my way with it. I can feel her stiffen a second in shock, before relaxing back into the couch. I love kissing her neck. It's so smooth and her skin is just so soft. And she always-Oh! There it is. She shivers a little, as if she's cold, but I know better. I lift a hand up to stroke back her hair and get better access to her. It's around this moment I really wish that Zack was younger so that we could scold him to go to bed. But I know we can't do that. Zack has seen me kiss Helga's neck before anyway. It was actually only a few months ago. I don't know how long he was watching, but after several minutes, and right around the time I was going to try something new, I heard some strange snickering coming from the door, and that had been when I realized Zack was laughing at us. Our own son. He does know how he was made, right? And he has the nerve of laughing at us. What kind of a kid laughs when he finds his dad kissing his mom? When they're younger, they just stick their tongue out and run away. But of course he found the display of intimacy to be amusing. Well, that's Zack for you.
But as I was saying, I know that we can't just tell him to go to bed and let us be. He's sixteen after all, and his bed time that he doesn't follow is at eleven-thirty. Oh well. I'm just trying to get her attention anyway. The tv can't give her love, now can it? Nope.
I continue kissing and sucking on her neck, and she lets out a little feminine sound of appreciation. Right before I'm able to even finish my thought of what to do next, I feel Helga jolt a little, and I open my eyes to unintentionally welcome in a blinding light. I blink a few times in a daze, before realizing that Zack is sitting on the couch next to us, and he's laughing. Again, he laughs at us? Why does he do that?
Helga and I sit up then, and we both give Zack an annoyed look. "Zack, how can you possibly find this funny?" I can't help but ask.
He lets out one last chuckle, and then smirks at me. "Well, Dad, is it really wrong to find it amusing that you two complete opposites can actually stand eachother, let alone kiss eachother, not to mention conceive me? It's so strange." He tilts his head at us with an amused smile.
We both blink at him in bewilderment. It's just so weird. What is he trying to say? That it's weird that we love eachother...?
I hear Helga speak up from beside me. "Um... Zack, what the heck are you talking about?"
He rolls his eyes at us, still looking highly amused. "I'm saying that Dad is Dad, and you're Mom. You both go together like staplers and trampolines. I just don't understand how you two are actually together."
I quirk my mouth to one side. "You're right. We're a horribly mismatched couple and I have no idea how we've managed to stay together for so long."
Helga smacks my arm then and sends me a glare. I just hold back the chuckle that threatens to escape my throat and lean back in my seat on the couch, giving her a small smile in mild amusement and shrug. "What? I'm being honest." The chuckle escapes me.
She just sighs at me in exasperation, and then directs her attention back to Zack. "Zack, why does it matter? Most kids wouldn't question why their parents are together. They'd just pray that it stayed that way." She crossed her arms over her chest, and gave him a sarcastic look. She's so pretty like that...
Zack speaks up then, breaking me of whatever was about to run through my head (After so long, I barely even register when I'm doing that), "Maybe so, Helga. But you've been married to eachother for almost twenty years now, and there's never a dull moment around you two still. I figure that I'm pretty much in the clear there. Face it, you're married, and there's nothing that's going to change that." He smirks. "But you know, you still didn't answer my question."
I can see the smirk growing on Helga's face, and I can tell that she really wants to tell him our story... I'm not sure I want to. I mean, sure, it's not that complicated of a story to tell NOW, but it sure was complicated back then. I can still remember all the uncertainty, confusion, and anxiety that had been growing inside me all that time.
She looks at me, silently asking if it's okay if she tells him. Ugh, I don't really want her to. It was an embarrassing time for me. And plus, what if she tells him about our first date?
I mentally shudder just at the thought. I can remember how nervous I was, and I was just learning how to deal with those new emotions she could provoke inside of me. I was jittery the whole time. It's too embarrassing for me to even think about. The things that had popped out of my mouth randomly that day were nightmare worthy.
I give her a pleading look, but her smirk just increases. Oh no.
I break out the doe eyes, and after a few moments, she finally deflates. It's the only way I can ever get my way. We'll tell them our story someday, but not now, and especially not to Zack. I can already see him in my minds eye, rolling around on the floor clutching at his sides from laughing so hard. Especially from that one time on the roof top. Now that was scary. Sure, Helga and I laugh about it now, but I don't much like the idea of someone else laughing at us about it. Not even our own son... Especially not our own son.
She just sighs, and I continue my doe eyes... just in case. I notice Zack giving me a funny look, but I don't care. I'm desperate here.
She looks at Zack, and just shrugs. "Opposites attract?" That's the understatement of the century. Oh well, it's not lying or anything. We didn't have to go on some crazy tangent about how we got together. Nope.
I drop the doe eyes and smile in relief. Zack just rolls his eyes, but accepts the cliche'. Good boy.
Then Zack grins at us, and I can tell that whatever is going to come out of his mouth now, I'm not going to like. "So, Mummy, Daddy, ya think maybe I could stay down here and watch tv with you guys?"
I can feel my brain shutting down at that, but luckily Helga seems to understand exactly what this'll mean for us also.
"Zack, don't you have homework or something?" She asks in a weary voice. I don't blame her. I'm not liking this either. Tonight was supposed to be just me and her.
He grins and shakes his head. "Noooooope. I got that done hours ago."
"Uh... okay then... don't you want to go talk to your girlfriend for hours and use up all the minutes on your phone like usual?" She tries.
He frowns. "I'd love to. But she's out of town with her folks."
"Oh, then how about you go play video games on that new system you spent all your life savings on?"
"Can't. I'm all gamed out."
"Why don't you-..." She falters, but then scowls. Uh oh. I can even see the confident smirk on Zack's face falter at the sight. Helga can be SCARY when she's mad. And no matter how hot she is when she's like this, it's still a little frightening to me. She scowls at him. "Zack-"
Before she can finish what she was going to say, I see Zack puff out his bottom lip, make his eyes real wide, and give her one of the most pleading puppy dog faces I've ever seen. I cannot believe him! The puppy dog face is my thing!
Oh no. Helga's scowl is faltering.
Zack speaks then, still with those big eyes. "Please, Mom. There's nothing to do. Can't I just stay down here with you and Daddy?" Oh, he's crafty. Definitely Helga's son. And he looks so sad. Especially since he looks so much like Helga. It hurts me to even think about Helga looking so sad. I avert my eyes away, and that's when I notice that Helga's scowl is completely gone. I can't much blame her, but she can't give in. I sit up, and put an arm around her shoulders for support, as I whisper in her direction. "Stay strong, Sweetie. You can do it."
She barely even nods before finally, she groans and throws her arms in the air in defeat. "Fine!" My eyes widen. No, no, no. It's no wonder he asked Helga that question. He knows that if it's okay with Helga, she's going to make it be okay with me. Not by force or anything... more by, um, bribery. But I won't get into that. Heh...
I shake my head rapidly then. "No, absolutely not. We were planning on this most of the night. Although, we'd counted on Zack having something to do. But the point is, no. Now I want you-..." I turn to Zack, but when I do, I realize he still hasn't stopped with those big doe eyes. So sad... so blue... so... I put a hand to my head then, and groan. "Fine." I mumble. This is so unfair. I can see that Helga is a little upset too, but mere seconds after the word 'Fine' leaves my lips, I can hear cheering coming from behind us.
Next thing I know, our three other kids are sitting on the couch beside Zack. My eyes widen at the sight of our other two sons and little girl. Fourteen year old Josh, Eleven year old Phil (Grandpa insisted), and seven year old Amanda. Helga named Amanda, but I picked out her middle name. Faith. I like that name.
Josh has blonde hair, only it's a darker shade of blonde, so it's mine. Helga's is more golden and soft and beautiful and shiny and-... anyway, mine is more crazy and a slightly darker blonde. So Josh got that, it's a little unruly, but it's a bit more tame than mine is. He also got blue eyes, and... a football shaped head. Helga had laughed for weeks afterward over that after he was born. He's tall, which I know he got from Helga, but he's a bit buff, actually. He seems to worry about that a lot. His personality is based a lot on mine. He's very moral, and he's got good enough judgement. But he's also very determined and strong willed, which I know he got from his mother. He worries a lot about his muscles, I've noticed, and he's even got a punching bag in his room. He used to say that he wanted to be a wrestler when he grew up... I just hope he grew out of that by now.
Phil has black hair, which he got from Grandpa, actually. That was why he insisted on naming him Phil, after him... because as far as he was concerned, he was going to be taking his place in the world after he 'croaked'. He spends a lot of time 'teaching him the ropes' and all that. He doesn't have the chin or anything, but he's got black hair, and green eyes, and he's kinda tall and lanky. He does look a lot like how Grandpa used to look back in his younger years actually. But he's got a mixture between Helga's personality and mine. He's very moral and just, but he's also very blunt and sarcastic, and he's very talented in theater. He says he wants to be an actor when he grows up, and he's always acting very dramatic and all. He's actually a very talented actor, and only at the age of eleven. I'm very proud of him for that, and so is Helga... But Grandpa... he's another story.
And then there's Amanda. She has Helga's beautiful golden blonde hair, and she always has it up in pigtails. She reminds me a lot of her mom, except for the unibrow. She does have black eyebrows though, but they're not connected or overly bushy or anything. She's got my green eyes, and she's a little on the short side. She's truly embraced her own personality. She's very strong willed, brilliant, creative, artistic, and she has a very strong sense of right and wrong that rivals even mine I think. She's very independent also, and whenever something she believes is wrong is going on, she stands up for what she believes is right. She's a great little girl, and we both love her. But... she has her flaws. For example, she got Helga's love of poetry, and she does love reading it... but when she tries to write it... it's not so good. I still remember the first poem I ever heard from her...
Roses are dark red
Violets are kinda purplish
That's what I said
And I don't like fish
Yeah, she wrote that at five. Either she's a late bloomer, or I don't know. I think the default there was, that she got Helga's love and passion for poetry... but my skills at writing it... Heh...
These thoughts flash across my mind as I take in each one of my children, all now sitting on the couch next to Zack, and all already fighting for the remote that was previously sitting on the coffee table.
"Will you all just shut up and give me the remote?!"
"No! You always put on some lame show!"
"Yeah well at least I won't try to put on 'My little pony'!"
"I hate 'My little pony'!"
"Not you, moron! I was talking Amanda!"
Helga snatches the remote from them all, and gives them all a loud growl, successfully silencing them. She then turns her attention to Zack, who was smirking in amusement at it all. "I don't remember agreeing to all of them coming out here to watch with us too."
Zack smirks, leaning back in his seat once more now that the ruckus has ended. He snickers. "What can I say? They follow me everywhere." He blows on his nails, then rubs them off on his shirt.
Amanda and Josh both just blink at him, and Phil looks a little peeved.
Helga rolls her eyes at him, and I just give him a blank stare. I'm not sure if I'm liking how my Saturday night is changing so drastically here. But I decide that things have already gotten this far, we might as well roll with it. I stand up, and walk over to our video cabinet, where I begin shifting through our videos to find a movie. I speak, "Okay, clearly you're all insistent on staying down here and watching SOMETHING with us. How about a movie?" I look over my shoulder at them all.
Helga looks very exasperated, but the rest of the kids look happy by how well I'm taking all this.
"Sure, Dad. What movie do you want to watch?" Amanda asks, standing up and walking over to me with expectant green eyes.
I smile down at her, and pull out a few videos. "Well, why don't we all just have an all out movie night? You can all choose a movie that you want to watch, and we'll watch 'em. But only movies that we'll all be interested in." I give them a stern look. I'm not usually a serious person. I mean, I can be, but I don't usually use it this much. It just came with becoming a parent, I guess.
They all smile and nod, and I can see Helga just sigh before smiling and giving me a light shrug.
I take on a concerned look at Helga, but I figure I can apologize for all this a bit later. And so everyone gets up and begins looking through the movies to find the ones they want to watch.
Awww, and tonight was going so great too. But then with Zack, and then with Josh and Phil and Amanda, and then with Arnold going along with it all. Ugh. Of course now, I'm sitting here on the couch while the kids are all running around the kitchen like chickens with their heads cut off, making all these different snacks. Arnold is sitting on the other end of the couch, fidgeting a little. I can see that he's sorry. I know he didn't mean to get us into such a massive pickle. He's Arnold. He just wanted to make everyone happy.
Well, Helga's not happy. Now we're stuck in some all night movie marathon. I was looking forward to just cuddling with Arnold while watching some tv... or perhaps having the tv on and not watching it. And I had him right where I wanted him too! Ever since I married Arnold, I love playing hard to get. He'll walk into a room, and I'll pretend like it has absolutely no effect on me. Works every time. I had him right there. RIGHT THERE! And now look. Oh well. Maybe I should just do what Arnold does. Look on the bright side. I love our kids, and we haven't had any good family bonding time in a while. Maybe this little movie night thing was long over due.
Still, I wanted to cuddle with Arnold tonight, and I darn well am! So of course now I'm pretending that I'm mad at him, giving him the silent treatment while he fidgets around in his seat. Ohhhhh! He's so cute! Even after all these years, I can't get over how adorable he is! And he's all mine too. I inwardly smirk.
I do the math in my head. So it usually takes the kids about thirty minutes to properly wreck the kitchen, so that gives me just enough time to drive Arnold insane here. Perfect.
My arms are crossed over my chest, and I'm looking away from him. Classic. I know he can't stand it when I don't pay him any attention. He's so spoiled. I gave him so many kisses and hugs in our younger years as a couple, that now that we're married, he can't seem to handle the fact that I'm not all over him anymore. It's too perfect. I spent so many years pounding my head into walls at how he never seemed to pay me any attention. Now this is my revenge. Sweet, right?
I can hear him groan a little, and then I can feel him scooting closer to me. He puts a hand on my shoulder, and I resist the urge to swoon at his touch. Ugh, I can't help it. He had that effect on me as a kid, and he's always going to have this effect on me. I often wonder if I have the same effect on him. I mean, I know he loves me. But I mean... does he love me like I love him? You know, go weak at the mere sight of me, mentally swoon at the sound of my name, have his breath catch in his throat if I so much as touch him. I sure hope I do. But I'll take what I can get. We are married after all. What more could I possibly ask for?
I can tell he's struggling with what to say to me, before he finally manages to speak, "Look, I'm sorry, Helga. But in all fairness, you were the one to give in to Zack first."
UGH! How could I possibly resist those big, ol' eyes of his?! He can't possibly blame me for caving at that. He's the one who suggested this whole movie night junk. Criminy! I humph a little, and I hear him speak again, "Okay, I get it. I really am sorry. But what was I supposed to do? They obviously weren't going to leave. I figured we might as well go along with it. We always have tomorrow."
I growl at that. Tomorrow is Sunday. We have to get to bed early on Sunday nights so he can get to work in the morning! How can he possibly say that?!
It takes him a second to realize his error. He groans then. "Okay, yeah, maybe not tomorrow. But we always have nextweekend." I can sense a small smile in his tone, and he begins running his hands up and down my arms. Ohhhh! I can feel myself melting at that. His hands are too warm and strong to resist. I turn around in my seat to face him, and give him a soft smile. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Football Head."
He smiles at the nickname, and pulls me a bit closer to him on the couch, nuzzling his head into my neck. This is how I work, you see? If I play hard to get, then eventually I get even more affection from him. And he's too dense to ever figure out my game.
I bring my arms around him, and start rubbing up and down his back as he continues his kisses up my neck. It's too bad the kids are in the other room. Oh well. His lips travel along my jaw, until he finally finds my lips.
We kiss for... I don't know how long. But I know we need to cool it down now. The kids will be back any minute. So right when he starts trying to lower me down onto the couch, I break the kiss and push him away. I've gained some serious self-control over the years, I realize. He's panting, and looking at me through hazed eyes. Poor guy. No man likes to be denied like this. But for Pete's sakes, we are parents now. We've been parents for sixteen years!
I can't help but find it funny how I'm the responsible one at the moment.
I pant out my reasoning, "A-Arnold... kids..."
He pants out a groan, but nods nonetheless. I offer a smile at him, but I can tell he's mad at HIMSELF now for going along with what the kids want. I sigh at him with a slightly amused smile. I lean over then and plant a small kiss on his lips to try and comfort him, but right when I do, I hear loud groaning sounds of disgust coming from behind me. I break the kiss and turn to see Amanda and Phil both in the doorway with their tongues stuck out. Haha! They're just lucky they didn't walk in a minute earlier.
I resist the urge to chuckle, and I look over to Arnold to see him staring off into space now. Well, that's a little random. I snap my fingers in front of his face and he blinks then, before shaking his head. He then notices Amanda and Phil, and laughs a little at their disgusted expressions. He then brings an arm around me and pulls me close, still with that wide, amused smile. "You may think it's gross now, but you kids just wait, because someday..." He looks around dramatically, and then looks them both in the eyes. "You're gonna want to do it, and when you do you're gonna... like it."
They both get wide eyes and shake their heads rapidly then, and I can't hold back the chuckle this time. If only Zack could be like that. I shake my head with a smile.
After another moment, Josh and Zack walk in with two trays filled with junk food; Popcorn, Yahoo sodas, brownies, ice cream, chocolate syrup, chili cheese fries, and even the chocolate turtles those Campfire lass girls made us buy. Usually, we don't allow the kids to consume so much junk food. But it is Saturday, the only day we allow them to eat more than the regular cookie a day, and stay up past their bed time.
Everyone settles in around the tv; Amanda sitting on the ground, hoarding all the chocolate turtles to herself, Phil sitting on the recliner, with a bowl of popcorn in his lap as he eats it absently and stares at the screen with rapt attention (Though he looks a little horrified), Josh sitting next to Zack on the other end of our large couch, both elbowing eachother to try and get more room on the supposed 'comfiest section of the couch', and then there's me and Arnold now sitting next to eachother. I'm inwardly pouting at the lack of contact. We allowed Amanda to pick out the first movie, and she chose some kind of complicated, drama slash action movie. She reminds me of me at that age sometimes. She's not the most feminine girl out there, but she's always got the innocent little girl look going on about her. And yet there she is, grinning like a maniac when one of the cars crashes into a building and everything sets aflame with some kind of Hollywood, overly dramatic explosion. She's been spending entirely too much time with Rhonda and Curly's girls, Courtney and Sydney.
She begins laughing maniacally then as another car runs off a bridge.
Entirely too much time.
I feel Arnold's arms envelope me then and he pulls me close. I look up at him, and he offers a loving smile before kissing my forehead and turning his attention back to the movie.
I feel a smile beginning to tug at the corners of my lips.
Maybe this isn't so bad after all.
Amanda Faith there is enjoying this entirely too much if you ask me.
I take a moment to look around and see if Mom and Dad have taken any notice to this too. There's nothing interesting happening at the moment in the movie. Just yet another cliche' car chase scene that I just know is going to end with an explosion. As soon as my eyes land on Mom and Dad, I immediately have to hold back a snicker.
They're both cuddling, seemingly paying more attention to eachother than the movie. That's something I don't think I'll ever get.
I know, I know. Why the heck are you questioning your parents love? Yeah, well, I'm not questioning it. It's obvious to anyone with eyes that they love eachother. That's not what I'm on about. What I'm trying to figure out is WHY? They're complete opposites. But there they are, all wrapped up in eachother like they're the only ones in the room. Strange crap...
I shake my head. I'll never understand that. My girlfriend, Sophie and I have tons in common. Like-... And how we both-... Huh...
Well, she's really sweet, and clever, and kind, and sweet, and smart, and caring, and loving, and sweet. And I'm-... Uh...
Maybe I should keep my trap shut. Maybe opposites do attract. My parents are a perfect example of that, I guess. But whatever!
I'm stuffing my face with double chocolate ice cream now, eating it right out of the container with nothing but a spoon, and as I do, I can't help but wonder...
What's Sophie doing? Ugh, I know it's stupid to think about right now, but she's been out of town since yesterday and I do miss her.
She's got black hair, you see. And it flows down her back in all these different, complex waves, and she's got the most amazing hazel eyes that shine in the moonlight. She has fair, soft skin, and long, sweeping eyelashes. And she has this beautiful, bright smile that sets a flame in my heart. She has a gorgeous body too, and this adorable little giggle. I can already feel the goofy grin pulling at my lips as I lick my spoon clean.
I blame puberty.
Wow, this movie sucks. That scene where that one lady was announcing that she couldn't marry that other guy because his job was too dangerous, was atrocious! When was this movie made? 1932? Why is Dad so into these older movies? I just don't get it. The picture is always horrible, the acting eye twitchingly atrocious, the action scenes done so obviously. You could SO see the wires in that one scene where that guy flew up in the air and did that one kick. I can't watch this anymore.
I avert my eyes, and that's when I come to see Mom and Dad giving eachother google eyes. I stick my tongue out. I'll never understand grown-ups. How can they do that? I mean, they're almost always kissing, cuddling, embracing, running their hands through eachothers hair, and don't even get me started on those googly eyes and goofy grins. It's disgusting! I swear it to myself, I will never get as lovesick over a girl as Dad has EVER. He's so corny about it all too. Always with the dinner dates and leaving me over at Uncle Gerald and Aunt Phoebe's house or Great Grandpa's.
That's all girls want. They bat their eyelashes at you, and next thing you know, you end up like Dad. All blindly in love and whatnot. It's sickening! And that's not the end of it too. After you take the bait, and after you get as hooked as Dad is, they make you MARRY THEM! Can you believe that? They hypnotize you practically, and next thing you know you're in a jewelry store looking at engagement rings. Stupid girls.
Yup, I can tell you one thing, you're never gonna find Phil Isaac Shortman getting all gooshy over a girl. I don't want to end up like Dad over there. I look over at Zack then, and I scrunch my nose up. Yet another sign of GIRLS. Look at him! He's so pathetic! Ever since he started dating that Sophie girl he's been doing the lamest stuff! I always thought he was cool. But now look at him! It's all that girl's fault!
Poor Dad. Poor Zack. Poor Grandpa Miles. Poor Great Grandpa Phil. I feel for them, really.
I guess I can't blame Dad too much. Mom is great! She's always ruffling my hair and calling me 'kiddo', and playing video games with me, and making me snacks.
I wonder how that happened. I mean, Dad's never really told us how Mom managed to tie him up with all that mushy love crap. All I know is, that Mom had some kind of crush on him, but he didn't know, and then one day, they started dating... and then there's something about a jungle, I think. Eh, oh well.
I know how Zack got that way though. He met that Sophie chick at school (She was a new student or something), and he'd offered to show her around, and then when he got home, he was bumping into stuff, and accidentally eating stuff that wasn't food, and he kept talking to himself too. Weirdo...
Then a little later, she showed up at the house, and was blushing and offering if he wanted to go to a 'Save the Whales' meeting or something. I know that Zack doesn't give a CRAP about whales, but he'd accepted so fast and was out the door so quickly that I thought he would trip... which he did. Again, weirdo...
Ever since then he'd been getting this dazed look in his eyes. He's such a freak! See why I don't want to EVER get any kind of crush on a girl?
Yup, no crushes for me. Because crushes can lead to love, and love leads to dating, and dating leads to marriage, and then you end up like Dad.
No. Arrhg! Tis not the life for me!
The door bell rings then, and I blink. Who the heck could possibly be at our door at this hour? Okay, sure, it's not that late yet, but no one ever shows up at our house at night on a Saturday.
I see both Mom and Dad blink at the sound, as if awakened from some kind of trance. Ugh.
I can see Helga reluctantly begin to unravel herself from Dad's embrace, but I get up and begin walking towards the door before she can stand up. "Don't worry. I'll get it."
"What? No!" Mom stands up, and begins toward the door with me. "You don't just answer the door to strangers at night like that." She walks ahead of me, and looks out the peep hole. She grunts then. "Oh great! It's another campfire lass!"
Amanda rushes out the door then, a wild look in her eyes. "Campfire lass?! Excellent! I'm running out of chocolate turtles!" She waves the box around at us, and we hear the sound of a few chocolate turtles rustling around in it. Huh, it does sound like it's getting a little empty there.
Mom smiles at her, and then opens the door hesitantly, taking a peak outside. I'm too busy staring at Amanda weirdly to care too much though. "Man, Amanda, what? How many chocolate turtles can one person possibly consume? Do you realize how many calories is in even ONE of those things? And we had three boxes of them, and now they're all gone. I know that I didn't get any, that's for sure." I roll my eyes at her, and she just gives me a mildly annoyed, half-lidded look.
"Oh, hello there, can I help you?" I hear my mom begin from behind me.
Then I hear... this soft, angelic voice call out from behind me. "W-Well, you see, Ma'am. I'm looking to sell as many chocolate turtles as I can before tomorrow morning. All the money goes to charity." I turn around slowly, and come to see these amazingly violet eyes and this straight, brown hair. She's wearing the usual campfire lass clothes, but I barely notice. I can't take my eyes off of her face... her skin is fair, and it looks so soft... I almost want to touch it... But my arms are frozen at my sides, and I'm completely rigid. She glances at me, and gives me a quizzical look. Oh, man... she's actually LOOKING at me... with those gorgeous eyes of hers and with that-
"Oooooh! Chocolate turtles! Perfect! Get twelve boxes, Mom!" Amanda's voice from behind me breaks me from the spell that exquisite creature put over me... wait a minute... exquisite creature? Geez, what just happened to me? I scratch my head, and turn around then to walk back into the living room. Well that was weird...
I jump back into my recliner (Yes, I said MINE), and begin to chow down on my popcorn again.
I'll never understand what it is about girls...
Do I even WANT to?
As I think back to the strange feelings that had come over me when I saw that girl, I can't help but think...
I really, really, really want to figure out what it is about them that makes them tick.
What a strange new feeling...
Ugh, my muscles are aching so bad from all that working out I was doing earlier. But wha'cha gonna do?
I realize after a couple minutes that Zack hasn't elbowed me in a pretty long time now, and I know it can't be because he's actually enjoying this lame movie. I look over to see him staring off into space with some goofy grin on his face. Hahaha! I love it when he gets like this!
I reach my hand over with a spoon that was laying on the coffee table, and get a big scoop full of the ice cream he's been hogging. Oh yeah, I so love it when he gets like this. I savor the ice cream now melting in my mouth, and look over to see Dad looking a bit bored now that Mom's gone. Awww, poor Dad. His hubby's gone and now he's bored. It seems like Amanda is the only one really enjoying this movie. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's an okay movie and all, but I've already seen it six times. And I know Dad has seen it even more times than that. I can tell he's whispering out the lines before they even say them in the movie. He already knows what's going to happen.
It's around this time Mom returns with a bunch of boxes of chocolate turtles, with Amanda trailing behind her with a huge grin. Phil looks excited to eat some too. That's weird. Usually he isn't too into the chocolate turtles. But now he's all hyper to try and get some before Amanda manages to stuff them all down her throat. What's his problem?
Oh well. Dad just looks happy to get his little cuddle buddy back. I think it's sweet how they can't seem to handle being apart for too long. Though it can get slightly nauseating at times.
Oh, this is so awesome! Chocolate turtles, explosions, and... I turn around to see Mom and Dad cuddling again. I wonder if they realize how much attention they're getting. It's so gross. How can they do that? All that kissing and hugging and all.
I don't get men. I mean, at all. There's this one guy in my class. Don't even get me STARTED! He's always picking on me. Throwing little pieces of paper at me, tripping me, and threatening to beat me up! It's so frustrating!
Dad is really great and all, but he does confuse me. He teaches my class. Yup, he's a teacher. Second grade. But what I don't get is, whenever Chris (That mean boy I was talking about) is picking on me, he doesn't do anything. He just smiles and gets this nostalgic look on his face. What's that about? I'm always asking him to make Chris stop it, but he just tells me to be patient with him and be nice. I know that. I'm always nice to Chris. I smile at him, but he just scowls. I offer for him to play with me on the playground, and he just yells at me and runs away. I treat him like a friend, and he treats me like dirt. And another thing is, Dad is always pairing us up for school projects, even though I'm always begging him not to. Maybe Dad is a sadist? No. He's too nice for that. But still!
Chris is so mean! And he never leaves me alone!
You know, maybe this isn't so bad. I mean, sure, we can't exactly kiss in the way we want to, but we can still cuddle. She's so warm and soft...
I manage to rip my eyes off of Helga to look around then, and take in each one of my kids.
Zack has this goofy look on his face, Phil is licking at his chocolate turtle very slowly, Josh is looking at us with a weird expression, and Amanda looks kinda angry...
I look back at Helga with a loving and proud expression.
We have some great kids.
A/N: I hate that I'm posting this, like, right at midnight! D: I've been slaving over this practically ALL day. It's already at over 8,000 words! JUH-eez Louis!
I blame puberty.
XD Anyway, I hope you liked it. I've been experimenting around with what Helga and Arnold's kids might be like, and voila! So this is my take on it. The kids are actually slightly based off of my own family. I've got three older brothers, and I'm the youngest of the bunch. So that's how I came up with three boys and one girl. I've even got a brother named Joshie. XD OH! And Curly and Rhonda's kids, Courtney and Sydney, that's the name of my cousins. XD
So anyway, I leave you with this.
HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY, NINTENDOGAL55! I WISH YOU A HAPPY TWENTIETH YEAR ON EARTH! :D :D :D
(And I'm so sorry it's late. I've been working on it all day and yesterday)
Review if you wish, Infidels.
*Confetti blows up in your face*