I don't own or anything you know? No FF7 people owned by me. I do warn this MEGA Yaoi content (Its what the story is about.) If you don't like Tough. Your warned before you read. THIS STORY IS YAOI GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Plz don't read just to flame. I hate people like that -_-.

The nightmares came again. Would they ever leave? The blonde man doubted it. It was always the same. The flames, the sword, his love falling helplessly to the ground. The pure crimson blood flowing out of the body draining it of life. His memory was still something he could quite piece together very well. How much of what he remembered was him? How much was Zack? He wasn't sure he wanted to remember. What he did was pain full enough.

He walked down were 3 others were seated around a table. Vincent was probably the only one who had a hint of what the blonde was going through. During one of the more intense Nightmare's Vincent had been the one to wake him. Usually he slept where no one could hear his screams but that night he had been to tired to care.

Then there was Tifa. Poor diluted girl still thought she had a chance with him. He cared for the girl as a friend and that was all it twas ever to be. He had one true love in his life and now he thought he would never be forgiven for their death. Would never see his sweet sweet angel even after his own death.

Then there was Nanaki. Nanaki was wise beyond his years and was trying to help his friend. Nanaki knew nothing of the real turmoil inside the blonde's head or his heart. He tried to find out something but the blonde forced him to believe he was fine. He had long ago taught the rest of his body and face to mask his emotions but his eyes would get away from him. His eyes were still the window to his soul.

He went through the days since the death of his love like a machine. He would wake up eat with the three at the table now (Barret and Cid would work evenings, Cait Sith was non operational while Reeve tried to work out things in the government and Yuffie had gone home to straighten things out there.) After breakfast he would leave and go to work trying to correct the damage that had been done. It would be a long task but he felt he had too for some kind of repentance. The others though he was just trying to work his hardest because of his good natured soul.

This morning though he couldn't take it anymore. He had to know what his life had been like before. Tifa was being much help for she confessed that they had been friends they didn't do a whole lot together. That was just what happened before he left. He smacked his fist against the table.

"Damnit I CAN'T STAND THIS." Said the blonde startling the rest of the group.

"Cloud are you ok?" said Tifa resting her hand on his Shoulder. He immediately jerked away. The touch felt like he was betraying his love all over again.

"I've got ....I've got to know....I'm leaving....I don't know where too but I've got too...." Said Cloud almost shaking.

Tifa began to protest but only Vincent nodded. He thought this would be coming for quite sometime.

"I'll go get your things together. But I'm coming with you. So is Nanaki here." Said Vincent raising from the table.

"I need to do this on my own." Said Cloud.

"Nope that line hasn't worked before and its not going to work now. There maybe some parts you need to do alone but you not going by yourself." Said Vincent.

"Yes I agree." Said Nanaki.

"Hey what about me?" said Tifa stomping her foot in the ground.

"Someone has to stay here and tell the others where we went. Besides I don't think you really want to be there." Said Vincent.

Tifa swallowed she got the drift of what Vincent was saying. He had a feeling her and Cloud hadn't been the closest of people or even friends really before.

"Fine Fine do whatever you want. Go get yourselves killed see if I care." Said Tifa waving her arms and leaving the house to start her day's work.

"Thank you." Escaped Cloud's lips in a tone most couldn't hear but the EX-Turk's hearing was better then most.

In less the 30 minutes they had gather all their materia, their ultimate weapons, several high potions and other supplies they had needed. They thought about the PHS but decided that it was better left alone. They left on 2 Gold Chocobo's (Nanaki riding behind Vincent). Neblihiem is where this had all started and he was hoping to find some answers in the town.

"Cloud you don't have to answer but what are you looking for?" said Nanaki.

"My past." Said Cloud in a sorrowful tone.

Nanaki was left with a feeling that he shouldn't have asked.

"Did you really lover her Cloud?" said Vincent

"Who? Oh you mean Aeris. No I didn't that was part of Zack. He would have done anything for her. To me she is just a friend." Said Cloud.

Vincent shook his head. He could have sworn Cloud was calling out to a lost love in his nightmare. He had called the person his angel. He felt personally responsible for their death....It couldn't be...No not them. Vincent shook his head from that train of thought. It was quite impossible that Cloud was in love with Sephiroth.

The night was cold and they kept a fire going most the night. Cloud stared at that sky.

"I wonder if they can see me. If they are watching me. If they forgive me." Said Cloud closing his eyes and letting a tear drop. He had completely forgotten that he wasn't alone.

"Who ever it is Cloud I'm sure they forgive you." Said Vincent.

Cloud's head jerked towards Vincent. He had the look of a dear stuck in a head light. Vincent was now sure that how ever impossible it may have seemed Cloud was indeed in love with Sephiroth.

"You loved him didn't you. You really loved him." Said Vincent.

"Yes." Said Cloud dropping his head. "Go ahead make fun of me. The twisted little freak."

"Cloud I would never..." said Vincent.

I really made it easy on myself didn't I? Falling in love with Mr. Perfect. psycho-killer. The thing is he wasn't always like that. Something happened at Nebilhiem. Something major and I can't remember. It was more then just him finding out about Jenova. I have a feeling I had a big part in it. I've betrayed him so much.." Cloud said. "I killed him by my own hand. Not really good for a heathly relationship you know? Still think he would forgive me?" said Cloud who was finally glad for some form of release.

He stopped talking and just started crying. Vincent not knowing what else too do held Cloud while he cried himself to sleep. Tomorrow moring they would be back in Nebilhiem though Vincent doubted Cloud would find much there. The fire dimmed and the night flew by.

When they awoke Cloud acted as if nothing had happened. Probably passing it off as just a dream. Vincent though now knew much and hopefully enough to help his blonde friend. What he really needed to know is how Sephiroth had felt. His action weren't exactly that of a man in love but on the other hand neither were Cloud's.

They arrived at Nebilhiem in the afternoon of the next day.

"I'm going to check on getting a few supplies. We are running low on antidotes. Vincent I suggest you go get us a hotel room which will allow Cloud some time to look around the town. " said Nanaki

Vincent shook his head and Cloud turned on his heals and headed straight for the Mansion.

"I hope you find the answers your looking for but I have a feeling they will be more painful then what you know now." Vincent said but Cloud couldn't hear him.

Cloud walked into the dusty run down building. He had been here several times before but never just to try and force himself to remember things. He avoided the secret chamber were Hojo's experiments had been conducted - they would be left till later. Instead he wondered the rooms of the house.

He walked into a bedroom and laid down on the bed. A flash of a memory came to mind. Silver hair dancing over pale white skin.- His skin.


"I know you hate it here so much. Its only for a few more days love." Said a voice ringing in his ears.

"Its just the people. God why did it have to be here?"

Cloud closed his eyes. That was one of the last time he had been with his angel. But then there was an earlier memory.

"Hey you!" yelled a Blonde hair child sitting in a tree.

A silver hair child looked around startled.

"Up hear. Come on hurry. You are running from them aren't you?" said the blonde kid

The silver hair kid nodded and hurried climbed up the tree. A few seconds later three men dressing Shinra trooper uniforms walked by.

"Shhhh" said the blonde kid in a low voice. The silver hair boy became perfectly still.

The men passed the tree by and when the blonde thought it was safe he turned to the silver hair boy.

"Hey I haven't seen you around before. My name's Cloud whats yours?" said the blonde.

"Oh I'm Sephiroth but you can' call me Seph for short. And I guess you haven't seen me because I don't get out much. I live in that house over there." Said Sephrioth pointing to the mansion.

"WHOA cool. Mom wont let me near that place. Says its dangerous." Said Cloud.

"Heh well it not the most friendly place. That's why I ran away. Thanks for the help." Said Sephiroth.

"Hey will you be my friend? I don't really have any and you seem like you would make a good friend." Said Cloud.

"Friend? I don't have any either. Don't make to many in that place. Sure I could use one." Said Sephiroth with a smile.

That had been the first time he meet the man whole was the center focus of his life. A memory left long forgotten. What else had he forgotten? He didn't know but he was on his way to remembering. He slept that night in the dust filled mansion on the bed he had laid down on.

He had dreams that night. Most he could deciper or even remember but one told his mind way to much. He wished he hadn't remembered this particular thing but it was all important to remember his past.

In the morning he set up in a cold sweat. He grabbed his things and when running out of the mansion as fast as possible. He ran clear through town and to the gold chocobo he had brought. If it hadn't been for the fact that Vincent was going to feed the creature's he would have been clean out of there.

"Whoa Cloud where are you going." Said Vincent grabbing Cloud by the shoulder.

Cloud instantly fell to the ground.

"Oh my God Vincent. I did it not Sephiroth. It was me." Said Cloud staring at his hands.

"Cloud what are you talking about? Come on snap out of it." said Vincent.

"I'm the one that started the fire that burnt down Neblihiem." Cloud said in an hollow tone.

Vincent when deathly pale.

OK I'm sorry if you don't like Yaoi or something X|. I just like seriously opposing characters. OMG I hope I don't get flamed for this XD. Pretty Please review my new story. I love reviews ^_^