Disclaimer: Don't own it, just the plot and Lizzy.
A/N: Part of this chapter was done in collaboration with 8DRainbowManVan8D. He's one of my best friends from school and together, we hope everyone will enjoy this chapter. Also, as a side note, my profile page now has a Weekly news update on my progress and what I'm doing. Please check that out from time to time if you have any questions on why I take so long with my story, or where my progress is at. Anyway, enough with my chitchat. ONWARD! =]
Havoc stared into the fake, blue eyes of who he knew was Roy Mustang. Stuttering, he began, "I-it's o-okay. Really. It's fine." Havoc let out a nervous chuckle, hoping that Roy wouldn't notice that he knew it was Roy in disguise.
"Please," Roy said again, "I was the idiot that got your wine spilled all over yourself. How about I make it up to you by ordering you some cake? It'll be on me."
Havoc could only nod in agreement. If anything it would get Roy to leave faster and possibly get off his back. Havoc excused himself from the table to use the bathroom to get cleaned up. As he walked towards the restroom doors, he failed to notice the smirk that crawled onto Roy's face.
Turning around, Roy faced Riza and began to apologize to her for ruining her date with her boyfriend. "Oh, he's not my boyfriend," Riza said, earning an inward 'Yes!' from Roy, "he's just a friend from work. He just asked me out tonight and I figured I might as well go out rather than stay cooped up in my house."
"Ah, I see," Roy nodded, "in any case, I'm terribly sorry for ruining your dinner." With that, Roy turned around and began to head towards the bar. Just before he could sit down on the stool, Roy did a double take as something, or rather someone, caught his attention. He turned his sights on a flamboyantly dressed man that had started to make his way towards Roy. The man's hips swayed back and forth as he got closer, his dangling earrings moving with every stride.
The guy had a fohawk with brown hair and bleach blonde streaks. He had crystal, clear, blue eyes that sparkled like the eyes of Major Armstrong. He had on a tight button-up shirt that had two buttons undone at the top, showing off the tan skin underneath, and a tiger striped vest. His pants were tight, low-cut skinny jeans that clung to his legs as if they were a second layer of skin. To top it all off, he even had matching shoes to go with his vest.
Finally, the man reached Roy. Up close, Roy resisted the urge to gag. 'What the hell? This guy smells like a freaking perfume shop!' Roy thought.
"Hey there hun," the man said to Roy in a feminine voice, "the names Lizzy. How about you and I get to know each other better at that table over there?"
Roy looked stunned, never in his life had he ever been hit on by a gay man. 'Oh my god…is he hitting on me? He is! I'm not gay, I'm straight dammit!' Roy panicked, trying to think of a way to get rid of the man named Lizzy. Suddenly, an idea hit Roy and he let another smirk make its way on his face. "Sorry man, but I'm straight," Roy said.
The man pouted, "Are you sure? I mean, I can be pretty convincing." Lizzy winked, causing the hair on Roy's neck to stand up.
Roy chuckled nervously, "Yes, I'm sure. But, I do have a gay friend that happens to be in the bathroom right now. His name is Havoc. He's single, VERY interested, and has blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm sure you'll have no problem finding him in there."
Lizzy perked up at the prospect of another gay man, "Oooo, I'll be right back hun." Lizzy turned around and started to head towards the men's room. All the while his hips were swaying, elbows bent, and hands at shoulder level. Roy shuddered as he watched Lizzy walk away.
"I really need a drink," he muttered, making his way back over to the bar.
Havoc stood by the sinks, wetting paper towel after paper towel and trying to get the wine stain out of his pants. "Dammit, that stupid colonel just had to make a mess all over me." The door creaked open as Lizzy overhead Havoc. Havoc started to head to the urinals to relieve himself. Unzipping his pants, he starts to but then hears heavy breathing and warm air hitting his neck. Slowly, he turned his head around and was greeted by Lizzy's face, staring down at his "little happy man." His eyes got huge and as Lizzy looks up and smiles at Havoc.
Lizzy moved his hands to rub Havocs arm and shoulder. "Hey sexy," Lizzy purred, "I couldn't help but notice how well endowed you are. I'm jealous." Lizzy began to move his hands downward, rubbing Havoc's thighs in the process.
Havoc could only stare in shock, frozen like a statue at this mans advances. Then, he jolted out of his frozen state and screamed, arms flailing in the process. He ran out of Lizzy's grasp and into the bathroom stall, slamming it shut and locking the door, his back against the door. Panting, he tried to regain his thoughts on how to escape from the gay man.
Lizzy, assuming that Havoc was just shy or playing hard to get, headed into the stall next to Havocs. Havoc turned towards the door and crouched down, looking to see if Lizzy would crawl through the bottom of the stall doors. Little did he know, Lizzy was actually climbing over the stall and happened to see Havoc's butt sticking up in the air.
Smiling mischievously, Lizzy grabbed onto Havocs hips, leaned over, and whispered, "What a promising position," into Havocs ear. To top it all off, he even smacked Havoc's butt for emphasis. Havoc screamed once again as he desperately scrambled out of the stall and rolled away. Still screaming, havoc got up quickly and ran towards the door and out into the restaurant. Lizzy threw open the stall door and reached towards Havoc's retreating back, hands held out in front of him he yelled, "Wait hunny! We were meant to be!"
Lizzy ran out into the restaurant and attempted to follow Havoc through the crowd of people that were waiting for a table. He got twisted around and ended up losing sight of Havoc. His hands flew up to his face as he sobbed into them, muttering how he would never meet another man like Havoc again.
Havoc panted as he made his way back to his table. He looked over his shoulder to see if the gay man had followed him. Nothing. He sat down in his chair, breathing out a breath of relief. Riza raised an eyebrow, curious as to what could have relieved Havoc so much.
"Did something happen Havoc?" she questioned.
Havoc could only twitch. "You have no idea," he replied, his voice laced with tiredness. His face was still flushed from the run and sweat started to drip down the side of his face. Never before had he ran as much as he did back there. Riza leaned over the table and wiped the sweat off his face with a napkin. If Havoc wasn't red before, then he definitely was now over Riza's action. Her leaning forward had led to her face being closer to Havocs that ever before.
Roy, who was observing the two from his table, clenched his fists. Jealousy coursed through his veins at the sight of the two being so close together. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Hughes making his way over to the couple. In his hands, he held the cake Roy had ordered for Havoc as an apology for the wine incident. Roy grinned as another thought came into his mind. He waited for Hughes to come closer, then, discreetly, he stuck his foot out, tripping Hughes in the process.
Hughes let out a strangled yell as he hit the floor. "Watch out!" he yelled as the cake he once held went soaring over the tables. Like slow motion, Roy watched with a smile as the sweet dessert sailed over his head and hit the side of Havoc's face. Riza, who had pulled back from wiping Havoc's face, let out a gasp as the cake slid down the side of Havoc's face and hit the table with a SPLAT!
All eyes around the restaurant came to rest on Havoc. Everything was hushed and only silence reigned over the room. Then, Riza let out an unexpected giggle as the looked over Havoc's face. Her shoulders shook as she brought her hand to her mouth, attempting to hold in the laughter. Havoc slowly raised his hand towards his face, scooping the remnants of the cake off his face. More chuckles and giggles burst out throughout the room as the other people stared at Havoc.
Havoc shot a glare out to the people around him, successfully getting them to shut up. Narrowing his eyes in annoyance, he turned back to Riza. "Well, I'm glad you find this hilarious," he said sarcastically.
"I'm sorry," she apologized, "I couldn't help it. Your face was priceless."
Havoc let out a sigh, "How about we leave this place? At the rate I'm going at, I'll be lucky if I live through this night." Riza let out a chuckle and agreed with Havoc. As they left the building Havoc reached into his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. "You don't mind me smoking do you?"
Riza shook her head, "Normally I would but I think with all thats gone on tonight, you're entitled to a smoke." Havoc smiled, glad that she was so understanding. He placed the cigarette between his lips and reached into his pockets to grab a lighter. However, he frowned when he found nothing. Cursing, he began to look through his other pockets for a lighter. He sighed, giving up until a hand went up to his face, a match in it. He looked up and lo and behold, there stood Roy Mustang with a lit match.
"Need a fire?" Roy questioned. Havoc nodded. Roy extended his hand back out towards Havoc's face to light the cigarette. Just then, someone bumped into Roy causing him to drop the match right onto Havoc's tie. Havoc yelled, his hands hitting his chest as he tried to put out the fire.
Apparently, Hughes had run out of the restaurant in an attempt to find Roy who had followed the couple out. As he spotted Roy, he made a mad dash for him in his high heels. Unfortunately, since he wasn't used to the heels, he collided with Roy, causing him to drop the match onto Havocs tie.
Riza stood by Havocs side, attempting to get a hold of Havoc to calm him down. "Havoc!" she yelled, "stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll!"
Havoc fell to the ground, rolling back and forth along the cold sidewalk. Soon enough, the fire went out. Luckily he wasn't wearing polyester or else his chest would have been scorched. Havoc laid on his back, taking deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. 'I should've known better to take a match from Mustang. Something bad was bound to happen. Damn Maes. This is his entire fault. He promised that this night would go smoothly. So far I've gotten wine spilled on me, hit on by a gay man, hit in the face by a cake, and caught on fire. COULD THIS NIGHT GET ANY WORSE?' Havoc thought, distressed at how the nights progress has been.
Riza held out a hand for Havoc, offering to pull him up. Grateful, he took her soft hands as she gently helped him up. Roy and Maes had disappeared sometime during Havoc's distress over being caught on fire. Hopefully, that would be a good sign to Havoc and it would mean that Roy had decided to leave Havoc alone. Sighing, he said to Riza, "Here, let me walk you home. It's the least I can do tonight since nothing else has gone right."
Riza gave Havoc a gentle smile, then led their way to her house. After about ten minutes, they made it to her doorstep. Havoc walked her up to her door then turned to apologize to her over the disastrous date.
"It's not a problem Havoc," she reassured him, "think of it this way. Even if it didn't work out well, it's still one heck of a memory to remember by. I'm sure that one day you'll look back and even get a few laughs at this."
Havoc let out a deep chuckle, "Yea, but I for one don't ever want to have to go through this again. If me dating ends with this much disaster, then maybe I'll just stop."
Riza let out a laugh of her own. Then she looked Havoc in the eyes. "I really did have a nice night Havoc. You're a great guy and any girl would be lucky to have you but I'm afraid that I'm not one of them. You'll find that special someone. And when you do, I'm sure you can tell them about this date as a great story." Havoc smiled at what she said. A huge part of him was glad that this night hadn't transpired into anything more. If it did, then he wouldn't know what he would do to defend himself against Mustang's future plans of revenge. The other smaller part of him was just glad that she had enjoyed herself. She really did work too hard at work. She deserved a nice night out, even if it was at his expense.
Havoc's eyes widened as she leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Just before she did, she heard a rustle from the bushes by her house and a soft "Shh!" She leaned back and quickly took out the gun she had concealed under her skirt. Havoc's eyes bulged and he nearly fainted at the sight of her gun. 'She had her gun the whole time? What was she planning? To shoot me if I made a wrong move?'
She aimed her gun towards the bush. "Whoever is out there come out now!" No one answered so she pulled the trigger, aiming just left of the bushes. Immediately, two figures jumped out from the bushes, hands held up high. It was Roy and Maes. The two had followed them to Riza's house. Unfortunately, Roy had made too much noise as Riza was leaning in to kiss Havoc on the cheek which prompted Maes to shush him up. However, Riza had heard the rustling.
"Don't shoot!" Maes and Roy shouted together.
"We mean no harm Hawkeye," said Roy, "it's me, Roy." Riza narrowed here eyes as Roy started to sweat bullets. He began to wonder if she really would pull the trigger for spying on her.
"Sir," she practically growled out, "what are you doing here? And is that Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes?" She stared at the "girl" wondering why Hughes was dressed up as a girl.
"Maes?" the "girl" said in a high pitched voice, "Whose Maes? I'm not Maes. No, no, no, I'm afraid you're mistaken. My name's Maesalina."
Roy face palmed over Maes' stupidity while Riza and Havoc could only sweat drop over his obvious lie. Sighing, Riza slowly lowered her gun and re-holstered it in her hiding position. She opened the door to her house and turned towards the guys. "Havoc, did you know about this?" Havoc could only stare at the ground guiltily. She sighed again, "Why don't you all come in? You three have a lot to explain."
The three men could only nod as they followed her into her house. It was going to be a long night.
OK! Done with this chapter. The whole gay scene is credited to my friend 8DRainbowManVan8D. He thought up practically the whole thing. Please Read and Review (R&R).