Before you read this I should probably warn you that it is SHAMELESS PERVERTED SMUT. So if you don't like that kind of thing then it might be a good idea to read something else. That being said, enjoy.


Hiccup was a skinny adolescent, with a shy awkward smile. His bright green eyes, though they where often downcast, or purposely hidden, sparkled with a certain intellect, that was uniquely his own.

He was a Viking, if you can imagine that, born of a blood thirsty warrior race, that inhabited the dragon infested island of Berk. However, he was himself a piss poor excuse for a warrior. He was clumsy, timid, and had a low tolerance for pain: three very detrimental traits that made him the laughing stock of the village, and an embarrassment to his father.

The Vikings his own age saw Hiccup as an easy victim. Tormenting him was their favorite pass time.

"Hiccup is a piss poor excuse for a warrior," said Toughnut to the circle of adolescents that sat cross legged in the grass out side of the training arena.

"Yea, he's a pussy," agreed his sister, Roughnut. Tormenting Hiccup was the only thing that they ever truly agreed on.

"Can you believe he's the son of the chief?" blurted out Snotlout suddenly. "I mean what a freaking embarrassment. Man, if I was the son of the chief I'd have all the women."

"Come on you guys," said Astrid. "Is there really any sport in taking down some one so pathe-oh who am I kidding? I hate him too."

"Then its agreed," said Toughnut.

What percisly had been agreed upon, did not have to be openly discussed. There was an understanding between the young Vikings, that they had established long ago. And so, Toughnut, Roughnut, Snotlout, and Astrid set out searching for Hiccup. Fishlegs said nothing but tagged along anyway. He was a tag along.


Hiccup was strolling through the wilderness, carrying an empty basket in his slender hands. A moment ago it had been filled with fish, but Hiccup's dragon, Toothless had made short work of that. The Night Fury was always ferociously hungry in the morning.

Hiccup smiled thinking about the dragon, and the way it wagged its enormous tail as he tossed fish into its open mouth. It was nice to have a friend.

"What are you smiling at," chided Toughnut cruelly, as he emerged from the shadow of a nearby bush.

He was followed by Roughnut, Snotlout, Astrid, and Fishlegs. All of them bore expressions of sadistic glee-except for Fishlegs who just looked uncomfortable.

"Oh...uh...nothing, I'm sorry," muttered Hiccup in his adorably nasally voice. He had gotten into the habit of apologising for everything he did, even if it wasn't his fault.

"It better be nothing," demanded Roughnut, she did this to be obnoxious rather than to actually indicate suspicion.

"It is nothing," insisted Hiccup, attempting to push through them, and continue walking.

The attempt failed.

"Your nothing," shouted Snoutlot, and he pushed Hiccup violently to the ground.

Hiccup yelped as his face collided with one of the sharp stones that littered the forest floor. He lay their for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut, and hoping that he wouldn't cry. Then he lifted himself slowly, cradling a deep slice in his left cheek. The blood was oozing out from between his fingers and running down his neck in long rivulets.

"Oh no!" taunted Roughnut sarcastically. "Is iddy bitty little Hiccup gonna cry? Why don't you cry, Hiccup? We know you want to."

"S-shut up," stammered Hiccup, looking at his feet.

"Hey don't tell my sister to shut up," said Toughnut whacking Hiccup in the stomach with the blunt end of his sword. "Only I do that."

Hiccup bent forward wrapping his arms around his wounded stomach. He was still looking at his feet. Toughnut hit him again with the blunt end of his sword, and he let out a single involuntary sob. The Vikings began to laugh.

"What a disgrace," muttered Astrid, shaking her head.

Hiccup felt the heat rise in his face, and realised shamefully that he was blushing.

Toughnut shot Hiccup a disgusted look and turned to Fishlegs.

"Punch him in the face, Fishlegs," he said, grinning.

Fishlegs stood thier for a moment looking uncomfortable, and massaging his fat fists.

"Go ahead, punch him," demanded Toughnut.

"Yea hit 'em in the ugly face!" agreed Roughnut.

Fishlegs ruffed his short blond hair with his fat fingers, looking, if possible, more uncomfortable than before.

"What are you waiting for?" Snotloud grumbled angrily, and punched Hiccup in the face himself.

The force of the impact sent Hiccup sprawling onto the ground. He lay their for a moment and then rose shakily, looking miserable and clutching a black eye.

Fishlegs shook his blond head slowly from side to side.

"This isn't right," he said slowly.

"And why the hell isn't it?" inquired Toughnut. There was a note of irritation in his voice.

"...He's not even defending himself," Fishlegs pointed out sadly.

"And explain how that makes this less right instead of more right." said Toughnut crossing his arms.

"...I don't pray on the weak," he said lamely.

Toughnut rolled his eyes, moving again toward Hiccup. He pulled his arm back, preparing to smack the cowering boy upside the head with the blunt end of his weapon.

"Don't hit him!" shouted Fishlegs suddenly, and Toughnut raised his head to see that the large boy had drawn his weapon.

Fishlegs was an acher, though admittedly not a very tallented one. However, he had been practicing and at this close a range it was safe to bet that he would hit his mark.

Toughnut dropped his sword.

"Oops!" shouted Roughnut merrily as she pretended to fall into Fishlegs shoulder. Her intention had been to make him drop the bow, but instead Fishlegs lost his grip on the arrow, and it went flying.

Someone screamed, and it took Fishlegs a few moments to register with horror that it was Hiccup.

The Vikings where silent for a moment, and then Toughnut, Roughnut, and Snotlout burst into laughter. Hiccup was lying on his stomach weeping and howling in agony. There was an arrow sticking out from his backside.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" laughed Toughnut "You don't prey on the weak' Man, you really had be going for awhile there, buddy. Ah dude, you shot him in the ass!"

Fishlegs looked horrorfied, but Toughnut didn't seem to notice.

"This guy," said Toughnut, still laughing,he swung his arm arround Fishleg's shoulder, and imbraced him in a sort of one armed hug. "This guy is a great guy!"

"Your going to be in so much trouble," spat Astrid, glaring a Fishlegs, and she stalked off back to the village.

So that's the end of chapter one. Please review, and feel free to flame. Its hurt comfort smut not Shakespeare. Expect chapter two soon.