a.n. yeah, I know, I still haven't done another chapter on 'Anger' but I just realized how terrible I am at 'Final Battles'. If anyone can help, PLEASE DO! Okay, this popped into my head after watching 'things change'. The reasoning came from me, I do think she may have lost her memory, but to create a new life from scratch? Highly unlikely. Anyway, on with the story.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. How sad.
Raven was pissed. Nothing unusual there, at least, not to the casual observer. The fact that the reason she was angry was connected to Beast boy added to the illusion. But if you were to dig a little deeper you would discover a difference. She was not angry with Beast boy, nor was she angry with herself because of him. She was angry because someone had hurt him. She couldn't stand it when he was like this; defeated, depressed. In many ways, literal and figurative, he was like a kicked puppy. Terra. He had been so desperate when he thought she was back, alive and whole. And because of that, Raven could almost forgive her. Almost. But then she wasn't. He came back to them empty, a shell. He claimed that it might well be Terra's body, but the mind inside was a stranger; with almost no likeness to the girl they knew.
Raven was intelligent. She wasn't a scientist like Cyborg, but she knew about many things, philosophical and psychological. Because her powers were so out of control when she showed emotion, a good way to escape was to read. So that was what she did, for most of her young life. Literature could give her a thrill, and yet it was not strong enough to set off her powers. So she read. And because she read she knew of matters of the mind, and she was logical. Raven knew it could well be that Terra's subconscious was suppressing the memories it did not want to acknowledge. This was common among people who had been in comas, and of course, people with Alzheimer's disease.
But that left gaping holes in the reasoning to Raven. Sure, she could possibly not remember what had happened, but that did not explain how she could enroll in school with no parents. And even if some of her memories were suppressed, she would still remember Beast boy, and her powers would still work. If there was one thing swapping bodies with Starfire had taught her it was that powers were tied to the body, not the mind. And she claimed not to recognize Beast boy. Who in Jump city wouldn't recognize a Teen Titan? There was only one way to find out. She would have to ask Terra herself.
Finding her was very easy. Beast boy had mentioned the school she was enrolled in, so Raven had staked it out to find Terra. It hadn't taken long. She spied her sneaking out the back door at the end of the day, very afraid. Raven could feel it, along with confusion. It was exceptionally strong. Now why would an ordinary school girl feel like that? She shrugged. Telepathy was not a skill she used often; she felt it was an invasion of privacy, but in this case she'd make an exception.
Raven gently touched ground a few meters away from Terra, "Terra."
Terra jumped, her eyes wide, "W-who are you? Why are you calling me that? Did that green guy send you?"
Ravens eyes narrowed, "Nice try Terra, but you don't fool me."
"P-please, tell me what you want, is it money? I don't have much money, but you can have it. O-or, is it" she was broken off by black energy that covered her mouth.
"Now I want you to listen very carefully. We are going somewhere more private, where I am going to explain to you what I want. I will not hurt you or anyone else, nor will I take any of your possessions. Am I clear?"
Terra nodded fearfully.
"Good. Hold tight."
The next thing they knew Raven had phased them to a clearing in the forest outside of the city. She released Terra and stared at her for a minute. Terra fidgeted under her gaze. "What do you want?"
Raven sighed, "What I want Terra, is the truth. Beast boy told us what happened when he saw you, and I see some big holes in your story."
"I don't know what you mean! That's not even my name!"
"Really? Tell me Terra, and I know it's you, can you remember what my powers are? Specifically?"
Terra kept to her part for a moment, confused and afraid until she understood, "Empath." She breathed, taking a step back.
Raven smirked evilly, "And when I choose, telepath. You can't lie to me Terra."
Terra closed her eyes and turned away, dropping the pretence. "Just go away Raven."
"So you do remember!"
"Of course." She said bitterly, "What I did isn't something you just forget. Or forgive."
Raven chose not to acknowledge that, "Why did you lie?"
"Because I don't belong with all of you Raven! I don't belong with the Titans or Slade or anyone! I don't even know who I am anymore!" She collapsed to the ground, not in tears, but frustration. Raven knelt beside her.
Terra shrugged, "I don't know. I was aware of what was happening when I was a statue, so of course I was very bored. Thanks for trying to get me back, by the way. Then, about a year ago, the earth trembled, and I couldn't hear anything. Most of the time I could hear noises from above; cars and whatnot. There was nothing. Then, next thing I knew, this wall of white energy came towards me, and hey presto, I'm alive again."
Raven nodded understandingly, "That was me."
Terra gasped, "You saved me?"
"Be it indirectly. You're probably aware that I'm something south of human. My father was the most evil demon in existence, and when I was born there was a prophecy that I would become a gateway that would lead him here, to end all things mortal. Long story short, he came, turned everyone bar the titans to stone, and we beat him, turning everyone back. I must have turned you back to human as well."
"Well, however you did it, thanks."
They sat in silence for a moment more, "What are you going to do now?"
Raven frowned, "I don't know. I didn't even know for sure if you were you. I just needed to know."
"Okay… Why do you care so much anyways? I know we never really got on."
Raven chuckled slightly, "That's an understatement, but I never disliked you for any valid reason. Well, not until… Anyway. At first I didn't trust you because I'm a generally suspicious person. And after that it was… Jealousy I suppose."
Terra was taken aback, "Jealous of what? My uncontrollable powers?"
Raven blushed and mumbled something incoherent, Terra punched her arm lightly, grinning, "Come on, it's not like I'd tell anybody, I haven't got anyone to tell. Besides, this has got to be the longest conversation we've had without fighting, that's gotta count for something." Raven remained silent. Terra had a shrewd idea as to what she was avoiding, but she knew needling would never work.
"Tell you what; you tell me why you would be jealous of me, and I won't tell anyone you like Beast boy."
Raven's head shot up, her face bright red. "Who told you that?"
Terra laughed lightly, "You did, just then."
Raven grumbled, looking at the ground. "How'd you know? I've had a lot of practice concealing my emotions."
"Yeah, but that doesn't change your actions. Besides, I've seen the way you look at him when you think no one's watching. And when I think on it, there's nothing else you'd be jealous of me for. Plus, and you have to promise you'll never repeat this, we're similar people, so you're easy to read."
Raven frowned and cocked her head, "I suppose we are. I never thought about it like that before."
But now that she did, it seemed obvious. They both had trouble controlling their powers, they both had problems with men who wanted to control their lives, they were both willing to give their lives to save their friends and the planet. And they both cared for the green shape shifter.
"He really cares about you, you know."
Raven snorted, "He cares about you more."
Terra shook her head sadly, "I don't think so. It'd be nice, but I doubt it. He never stopped talking about you, and when I was… attacking you guys, he saved you, rather than try to reason with me."
Raven suppressed a smile at the information and blushed again. "He's miserable you know."
"Since he saw you, and you lied. He's been despondent."
Terra heaved a heavy breath, "I can't go back. It'd cause too much discord. You can never trust me again."
Ravens eyes were sad, but she knew it was the truth. Terra had lied to them, betrayed them, tried to kill them. She couldn't get past that.
"Do you love him?"
"Beast boy. Do you love him?"
Terra was downcast, "I don't think so. At least not in the way you're implying. I do care about him, he was always so nice to me, I never gave him any reason to be. He was the best friend I ever had."
Raven came dangerously close to smiling, "I know the feeling."
Terra grinned, "Awww, look at you! I never thought I'd see you so smitten."
Raven blushed heavily, "Shut up."
Terra grinned for a few moments more before she frowned and looked around, then looked back at Raven, then at the surrounding area again. "Your powers are controlled by emotions. So why isn't anything exploding when you get embarrassed?"
Raven smiled a secret smile, "Since I defeated my father I've got considerably more control. I can feel most emotions now without fear of my powers getting out of hand. All that's left that makes them go off is Rage. Don't tell anyone."
Terra cocked her head, "Why? Can you not use your powers anymore?"
"No. but, I, uh…" she trailed off.
"You haven't told them?"
She nodded silently.
"Why not? They'd be happy for you right?"
Raven shrugged, "Even though I can now, showing emotion seems… wrong. I don't know why, but it seems if I let it all out, like everyone else in the world, I won't be me anymore."
Terra looked sad, "That must be hard."
Raven shrugged, "Not really, because now it's my choice. Before I had no say in it."
They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a minute before Terra plucked up her courage, "Raven?"
"I-I'm sorry. All those things I said to you, and doing those things… I can't say I didn't mean it, cos I did, but I'm sorry."
Raven nodded. She couldn't forgive Terra, not yet, but she could accept her apology. It was a step forwards. She looked down, remembering what had happened. As the scene played out in her head her shoulders tensed at the memory of the things Terra had said.
Raven shook herself, "Nothing. Just, remembering."
Terra put a hand on her shoulder, "I really am sorry."
"It's not that, it's just… you were right; everyone liked you better."
Terra stared at Raven in open mouthed shock for a second before shoving her so hard she almost fell over, "I thought you were the smart one!"
"Well it's true! I as good as died, there's a chance that I'm back and only Beast boy looks into it. If that was you they'd call the army or something! They wouldn't rest until they had you back. I might have been a friend, but you guys are a family. That's why I can't come back."
Raven nodded, absorbing Terra's words, "I never thought about it like that before."
Terra grinned, "It's true no matter how… introverted you are."
Raven smirked at Terra's attempt to be tactful, "What are you going to do now? Continue at school?"
"Yeah… what are we going to do about Beast boy though? I can't go back, but I don't want him to be miserable. Can you make sure he's okay?"
"Of course. I've been trying to, but he's been in your old room. He won't let anyone in."
"He'll come 'round. Now go get him tiger!"
"Oh, shut up!"
a.n. yes, once again, it is unresolved. Oh well. I don't really like evil Terra; I don't think she ever was evil. Just confused about who to be loyal to.
I am review hungry.