"But I don't want to sit on the floor! These pants are from Giorgio Armani's Spring collection! And they're white!"
"Kurt, I told you to move your ass because my living room is small and there are twelve of us! You're fifteen minutes late for our meeting!"
"Mercedes, my dad was looking through my closet. If he found my corset, he'd kill me. Or himself. Probably both."
Puck snickered and Kurt glared, "Hey! I agree with your dad. And don't get into a hissy fit, Hummel, it's not 'cuz you're a dude. If my daughter had a corset, I'd go apeshit, too."
Kurt sniffed and turned his nose up, "That might have been the smartest and or kindest thing you've ever said, Noah."
"You're still a freak, Hummel."
"And you still smell like a zoo, Puckerman."
"Now that we've reached a new level of understanding—" Quinn didn't flinch at the glares she received from the two boys, "—Kurt, sit down so we can get these plans underway." The Glee club was meeting to discuss fundraising ideas. Now that they were going to Nationals, they needed much more money for travel and hotel expenses.
Kurt huffed, "I can't sit, Quinn, so I'll stand. Carry on."
Quinn gave him a long-suffering look before sighing and pulling out her notepad and pen, "So, we can't have a repeat of Puck's pot cupcakes. Any other ideas?"
Kurt rolled his eyes at Puck's predictable reply. Suddenly, however, he felt his balance shift and squealed as he fell over.
Right into Artie's lap. Shocked, Kurt looked at the bespectacled boy. Artie grinned, "You were blocking my view. And I get nervous when I'm sitting and someone is standing."
"Joke, Kurt. Joke. Do you mind sitting in my lap? Because it's clean. And comfortable!"
Kurt blushed, "Thanks, Artie. That would be nice."
Together, they shifted until they found an ideal position, with Kurt's left side plastered to Artie's front and Artie's arms around Kurt's waist. Turning their attention to the meeting, Kurt was shocked to see everyone staring at them. His face heated up with the blush that flooded it. But Kurt was Kurt and he wasn't going to back down, "What? I found a seat without help from you guys. Artie here is kind enough to offer. And besides, if Tina and Santana's butts weren't so large, I could fit on the couch with them."
The comment was ridiculous, obviously. Kurt knew they would take the sentiment in the manner it was meant to be taken, "Listen here, Lady Fabulous. You wish you had this." And with that, Tina smacked her ass. Santana got up next to Tina and the two girls started to dance, "I like big butts and I cannot lie/ You other brothers can't deny"
The rest of the club joined in, "When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist/ and a round thing in your face/ you get sprung!"
They dissolved into hysterical laughter, weirdness effectively effused. Rachel got everyone's attention back to the issue at hand, "What if we sold singing Valentines?"
Kurt tried to pay attention, he really did. But it was hard with Artie's hands caressing his hipbones. They moved from his waist down to his hips and back up. Up and down, up and down. Careful not to bring unwanted attention to them, Kurt whispered into Artie's ear, "Something wrong with my body?"
Kurt was sure Artie shivered, "No! Not at all. I just can't believe how small you are."
Kurt flushed and whisper-yelled, "I am not!"
Artie smiled that gorgeous smile and Kurt felt himself blush deeper, "It's not a bad thing. I lo—admire your hips, especially when you dance."
Kurt wasn't sure quite how the rest of his body hasn't wilted and died, because he was pretty certain that all the blood he had was in his face, "Thanks."
"Well, how about we record a CD of love songs to sell?"
"What love songs can we sing?"
"Just pick any of the songs that Finn and Berry sing! Seriously, Aretha, what are you smoking?"
"Oh, screw you, Mohawk."
"Come to think of it, Aretha, you're one of the only girls that hasn't taken a ride on the Puckerman express."
Kurt laughed so hard, Artie had to tighten his grip to prevent the countertenor from falling off. Puck pouted as all the girls took turns high-fiving Mercedes.
As the rest of the club tried to decide which songs to sing for the CD, Kurt tried to keep his reactions to Artie's ministrations under control. He never knew that the wheelchair confined boy was so touchy feely. He also never knew that he would be so affected by those gloved hands running all over his body. Kurt was getting serious chills.
Artie apparently didn't have the same problem concentrating, "I think we should include 'Somebody to Love'. It's our best number and has love in the title! How perfect is that?"
Kurt chuckled; Artie's humor was so off-beat and great. Artie started to tap a beat on Kurt's thigh and Kurt was happy to find that he knew the song. 'Single Ladies' will be forever engrained in his mind, unsurprisingly. Kurt went to explore Artie's fingers with his own and suddenly, they were holding hands. Kurt gasped and looked up at Artie's face.
Their eyes met and Kurt was surprised by the color of Artie's eyes. He never knew Artie had blue eyes! They were really…beautiful. They sparkled with humor and excitement and if Kurt wasn't mistaken, attraction. Artie liked him! Score!
Their faces got closer and closer, until Kurt was sure that the kiss was inevitable. Of course, he forgot the force of nature that was Rachel Berry.
"Yes, and 'No Air' would be a fantastic ad—oh my, God, Kurt and Artie are about to kiss!"
Kurt fell out of Artie's lap this time. Crap. Crapcrapcrap. He was about to cry. He lost his only sure shot at kissing a really cute, really nice guy. Picking himself up, he prepared to run out of the room.
When a strong hand caught his wrist and pulled him back into a lap, "Yes, Rachel, we were and you interrupted. That's rude."
Rachel (and the rest of the club) gaped at him, "Uh, s-sorry, Artie."
"You should be." And with that, Artie snaked one hand up the back of Kurt's neck and into his hair, pushing their faces together. Kurt's eyes fluttered closed and he couldn't believe that his first kiss was going to have an audience and—Good, Lord, his lips were soft!
Kurt moaned a little as Artie maneuvered his lips expertly (or what he thought was expert, because he didn't have any reference) and caressed Artie's face.
When the need to breathe became too great, they broke apart, smiles gracing both their faces. Kurt turned to the shell-shocked club, taking in Puck's particularly shocked face with glee, "So, I think 'Endless Love' would be a good addition to the CD. I, of course, will be taking the Diana Ross part."
"Kurt, you are obviously confused by the passionate and admittedly fantastic-looking kiss. I will be singing the Diana Ross part, if we so wish to perform this song."
Trust Rachel Berry to bring everything into context.