2nd chapter of the new and improved Immortality Among Death!

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"Normal Speech"

"Demonic Speech"



Chapter 2 – The Start of A Beautiful Friendship...Well Sorta...

"Ah another sacrifice to Jashin Sama. Well come along Shithead I'll save you from heathenism."

Naruto gave the man a blank stare as the stranger in front of him hefted a lethal looking tri-bladed scythe onto his shoulder. This guy wanted him to go over there and sacrifice his life to some form of god he hadn't even heard of until 10 seconds ago? Was he high?

"I'm not being rude or nothing, but, what the fuck are you babbling on about? I'm not going to go over there and allow some ass clown like you to cut me open while I thank you for it."

"Oh so you are going to fight then, heathen?"

Naruto's response was to raise his fist and coax a bone to grow from his middle knuckle and effectively flip Hidan off which prompted said Jashinist eyes to widen comically before he charged forward, scythe at the ready.

"Die you insolent brat!"

Naruto wasn't expecting such a burst of speed and as a result was sent flying by a vicious kick to the temple.

Hidan grinned when the cocky brat was sent flying and immediately followed his flight path, half expecting the kid to be dead or at least unconscious. That is why he wasn't prepared to dodge the bone spear that tore a hole straight though his newly healed stomach and the trees behind him.

His surprise was quickly replaced by anger and he nearly had his head lopped off when Naruto sprung through the foliage with a bone scythe that closely resembled someone's spinal cord.

Hidan ducked under the swing and raised the back end of the scythe without looking to block the follow up slash. Utilizing his superior strength he swung in a downwards diagonal arc and just missed the boy's chest due to his shoulder springing out of no where and blocking his blade.

He quickly hopped backwards to avoid the blondes attempt to slice of an arm and laughed as he did so.

"Kid, what you're doing there is wrong on so many levels." His grin remained in place as the bone user glared at him.

He was forced to jump upwards when Naruto turned his hand into a makeshift gun which fired two bone bullets towards him.

"Fuck you!"

Not wasting an instant he twisted expertly and brought his blade down in an acrobatic mid air slash. He managed to knock the young boy off balance and knock his make shift scythe away from him.

The crazed religious maniac threw his overly large weapon as soon as he landed towards Naruto's head. It flew with enough speed that would leave most Jounin hard pressed to dodge, but just as it looked as though the blonde was going to block it with his freaky bone powers, Hidan yanked on the wire connected to the bottom causing it to swerve around the pre teens out stretched arms and hit him dead center in the middle of the chest.

Hidan's face lit up like a Christmas tree at the thought of the blonde's blood spilling all over his scythe. His mood was quickly dampened when he saw the child's chest had grown bones that halted its path and that there was no blood at all.

Quickly yanking the chain back and at the same time sprinting towards the rapidly approaching blade, he pivoted on his foot as he neared his smaller opponent and effortlessly caught the weapon while he was spinning before he used all of his strength to smash his scythe into his prey's torso.

Naruto was sent flying through several trees and would have been dead had it not been for his superior skeletal structure.

Hidan laughed like a maniac as he took off like a rocket towards Naruto and jumped into the air when he was close. He used the momentum of his fall to bring his blade down like a hammer on Naruto's position.

Naruto suddenly raised his palm and out shot a blade that extended through the air and ultimately through Hidan before he reached him

The immortal was carried 20 feet into the air by the bone that was still connected to the boys palm before he was thrown off of it and through some tree branches.

Naruto retracted the bone blade until it was only a few inches in length and sprinted in the direction of Hidan.

Naruto was upon Hidan before the immortal knew how to react and had buried his blade into the larger mans chest. Hidan grunted in shock before falling down, seemingly dead.

The smirk on his face was unseen by Naruto.

The Jinchuriki thought that the battle was over the allowed a sigh of relief to escape his lips just as he allowed the bone blade to snap off and remain buried in Hidan's chest. He turned to walk away but he was almost impaled through the throat with a deadly looking pike.

"AH! Fuck! Shit!"

Naruto had heard the displacement of air and hardened his skeleton just in time to avoid the fatal injury. The blade failed to kill him but it did give him a nasty gash on the back of his neck.

The purple eyed monster behind him let his eyes widen in delight as he quickly jumped back about 10 meters to complete his ritual.

Despite being powerful Naruto was still only 10 years old and being stabbed in the neck was definitely painful enough to bring tears to his eyes.

"What a pussy! Gonna cry brat? Hahaha don't matter any way, ya finished now!"

Allowing some blood to drip to the floor Hidan began drawing a strange symbol with Naruto's blood even though the wound on his neck had already began to heal while he yanked his spine out.

Naruto's attention had been on himself and not on Hidan for only a second.

That was all he needed.

Naruto stared in morbid fascination as Hidan's skin turned pitch black whereas the places in which bones were located turned white. He was snapped out of his fascination when Hidan trailed his pike down his arm creating a large gash.

Naruto was confused at first but when an identical wound appeared on his arm he dropped to both knees clutching said appendage in both pain and shock.

"How did you like that one? Hahaha!"

"What the fuck did you do to me?"

"You disrespectful heathen, this is gonna be nice and slow."

Naruto watched with wide eyes as Hidan slowly pushed the pike through his stomach while screaming in ecstasy while his own screams were those of anguish and suffering.

He watched through bleary eyes as Hidan removed the pike and pointed it against his chest, directly over his heart.

He didn't remember blacking out or wandering into the area in which the Kyubi was sealed, but when he regained control of his senses he stared at the fox with no real emotion other than contempt within his eyes.

"Why the long face meat bag? You dying or something?" It was meant to be mocking him but it didn't know how close to the truth it actually was.

"Yeah I'm about to be killed by some crazy Immortal who worships some God called Jason or something." Naruto subconsciously counted down from 3.


"I said th—"

"I heard what you said you hairless ape. I did not expect you to be this pathetic but can you at least give me a name?

"Huh?" The Kyubi just sighed.

"What was the Gods name? Was it Jashin?" The Kyubi's massive eyes bore down upon Naruto as he waited an answer.

"Yeah that's it." Naruto wondered why the Kyubi seemed so interested in the crazy guy's ramblings until he was answered.

"Hmm Jashin was a priest who through various rituals obtained the powers of a God. He grew arrogant and challenged us Biju so he could open the gate to heaven and overthrow Kami with our souls. He easily defeated one through seven but barely beat the Hachibi no Kyogyu, and he was then foolish enough to challenge I, the mightiest of all Biju, to a battle to the death. Needless to say I destroyed him."

"Wow your ego is as big as your head."

"You will hold your tongue mortal for I am still far more powerful than you while trapped behind this cage!" The massive fox glared at the creature in front of it for a few more seconds before it let up its killing intent and allowed Naruto to collapse to his knees.

"As long as you harden your bones then he cannot kill you unless he stabs himself through the brain or the heart and I very much doubt that he is intelligent enough to figure away around them." Its eyes still remained fixated upon Naruto who looked less than comfortable.

"Now, please, vanish." And with that the Kyubi let out a deafening roar which lifted Naruto from his feet and out of the doors leading to its cage.

Getting flung from your sub consciousness was definitely an uncomfortable experience and Naruto would not recommend any one trying it. As he regained his senses he quickly remembered his situation.

He immediately hardened his bones to the point in which he had never done so before. Hidan watched Naruto brace himself and then as his pike entered Naruto's chest before it…stopped?

"What the fuck? You little bastard what did you do?" Hidan's eyes now shone with a holy rage. What the fuck was up with this kid? Why wouldn't he die!

Hidan kept stabbing at various parts of his body but was unable to pierce any areas which contained bones. Naruto saw this happening and grinned like Hidan had done earlier as a plan formed within his mind.

Hidan's technique seemed to be linked to Naruto so what was stopping him from causing pain to him so Hidan would feel it?

He quickly dislocated his wrist without causing any pain to himself, but the yell of anger told Naruto that Hidan was feeling the exact opposite. He then began to slowly pull his spine out which prompted Hidan to nearly scream like a girl. Naruto winced and closed his as he still wasn't used to doing this particular maneuver just yet.

Hidan quickly kicked at the ground where his symbol was located which caused the technique to stop. Naruto didn't notice the straight away and was promptly drop kicked in the face.

Quickly getting up Naruto immediately regretted doing so because his head started ringing like 100 academy bells. Hearing a grunting noise Naruto opened his eyes to the sight of a grinning Hidan with his scythe slung over his shoulder while his free hand pulled out Naruto's finger bullets from his throat.

"No fancy little trick of yours is gonna save you now asswipe."

"Do ya know how much you suck?" Naruto narrowed his eyes at the grinning psychopath in front of him while he kept nursing his bruised head.

"Hahaha go fuck yourself kid, while your busy doing that show me where your mother lives!" Naruto's eyes clenched shut and his fists bawled as he attempted to keep his volatile chakra under control. He was clearly failing as sparks could be seen darting around his tanned skin.

If there was one thing Uzumaki Naruto hated beyond all things, including the villagers and the demon within him, it was when someone insulted his deceased mother. Despite not knowing her the Hokage had said that she had died with her arms wrapped protectively around his body and that was more than enough for the blonde pre-teen.

"The fuck did you say?"

Seeing as he had struck a nerve Hidan shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant manner and closed his eyes while grinning. "Jashin Sama doesn't usually allow things such as sex but I'm sure he would make an exception as I fucked her so ha- AHCK!" He didn't get to finish as a massive lightning bolt burst out of the back of his chest, which was soon followed by several bones piercing his stomach and other flailing limbs which subsequently impaled him to a nearby tree with the force he was travelling at.

Hidan slowly tilted his head upwards and he was met with the ice cold eyes of Naruto. Blood dribbled from his mouth as he was stabbed several times in the chest and throat by Naruto in blind rage, for a split second Hidan actually feared being killed by the state of his body.

Hidan could barely hear the blonde say something about how he hoped that Hidan would rot in hell like the stupid piece of dog shit that he was or something or other. As soon as the words had left the angry child's mouth Hidan had felt unimaginable pain course through his entire body.

He could feel his skin blister and melt before being burnt to a crisp, muscles expand and rip themselves to shreds, his body convulsed so violently that it would caused his bones to snap.

It only lasted for about 10 seconds but to the silver haired cultist it felt like years, he didn't have the strength to groan as his body was not too graciously flung against a tree and he was certain his back had just snapped like a twig.

Naruto glared coldly at the body that had twitched every so often, but that was probably from the result of having been hooked up to the equivalent of 1000 of the generators that powered Konohagakure.

His lightning affinity responded to his emotions and that's what had made it incredibly dangerous. If he got angry or pissed off then some one was going to get hurt by accident as electricity would randomly shoot out of his skin. And if he got reeeaaallly pissed off then his lightning affinity would go ape shit and cause a fucking electrical storm or something, and that was without the Kyubi butting in it's rather big head and intoxicating chakra.

Hidan would have just lain their and accepted death if such a thing were possible for him, but alas he would just have to lie there like a tree stump until Jashin healed his wounds.

Speak of the Devil he might have muttered if he had a tongue, the God of violence had suddenly broke off into excited whispers in his mind, what had gotten his lord so worked up this time? The whispers were impossible to sort through as it sounded like 100 men speaking at once and when they stopped a sign would usually appear before him.

Jashin would only contact him when something important needed doing or the god was extremely bored and wanted Hidan to do something that would alleviate the boredom for a few hours e.g. the mass slaughter of his whole village.

In this case Hidan had a sneaking suspicion of what he needed to do. His suspicions was proven correct as the whispers stopped and a tree branch smashed him on the head before rolling within the direction of one Uzumaki Namikaze Naruto who was lying their as his bones retracted into his skin.

Sighing he used his chin and what little strength he had in his left arm to crawl toward the boy who was probably resting given the fact that he passed out on his back.

As he reached the prone body of the blonde he immediately punched him with what little force he had left. Satisfied with the busted lip he had given the blonde he then brought his left palm to his bleeding mouth and spat some blood onto it, this caused to smoke to arise from the hand and a small object appeared their with a 'POP'.

The small object was actually a vial with a cork in the top that held about 15 milliliters of an extremely dark red liquid, almost black, within its confines.

Quickly biting the cork out with what little strength he had left within his body he poured the few drops of the precious liquid into the whiskered youth's mouth and then rolled to the side, also unconscious.

6 Hours Later

"Oohh, my head. What hit me?" Slowly sitting up against a nearby tree Naruto tried to clear the lingering dizziness with marginal success. Then his eyes landed on the sleeping body of Hidan. "Oh yeah, that's what hit me."

Slowly standing up so the headache didn't come back he stumbled towards the downed missing Nin before he paused. What was he actually going to do the guy? He had already stabbed him and electrocuted him further than what any human could possibly live through.

As he was pondering his possible choices Naruto didn't notice Hidan hand clutch the wire connected to his scythe. He simply had no chance of avoiding it when it came flying through the air from several feet away; he barely had time to allow his eyes to widen in horror before his head was sliced cleanly off his neck.

He thought that death would be painless and that it would be relatively quick, well it wasn't and it hurt like a bitch. He thought something was strange when he saw his own headless body fall to the ground, but he was starting to get creeped out when he heard himself gasp.

"Ahh shit. Hey are you dead?" Naruto couldn't resist the sweat drop that formed on the back of his head as he heard what was said.

He had wanted to say a witty and sarcastic response to what had just been said about his current state of health, he wasn't expecting himself to actually do so.

"Well done Einstein, how the fuck did you figure that one out?"

Nobody said anything for a few seconds, no animals moved, the slight breeze had stopped and Naruto could only stare in shock at Hidan who had a slight smirk on his face.

"Your taking being beheaded rather well ya know?" Hidan was laughing like a maniac when Naruto started to freak out, wells as much as a head could freak out by itself.

"T-this isn't happening, this isn't happening, I'm still unconscious and dreaming that's all, haha, I hit my head harder than I thought, I couldn't possi- OWWWW!" growing quite sick of the blondes rambling had led Hidan to do the only thing that could possibly make the situation better.

By picking up Naruto's head by his hair.

"Will you shut the fuck up!" it was a demand not a question. "You are immortal now as in you can't Die so shut up and deal with it. Why? Because Jashin sama asked me to."


"I gave you the last remnants of his blood. Apparently Jashin Sama saw potential in an ass wipe like you as a harbinger of destruction. And now he wants you to kill people in his name until the end of days, or until we are severely incapacitated and we cannot move. But what are the chances of being blown to smithereens and buried by some second rate, lazy ass, Konoha douche bag that spends his existence looking at clouds?"

While Naruto wouldn't admit it, being immortal did sound pretty cool. But he would never say that out loud in front of the demon that held his head by his hair. Without trying to sound too interested Naruto sighed and asked a couple obvious questions.

"Who the fuck are you anyway? And better yet who is Jashin?"

"Listen kid I'm getting really sick and tired of your questions. You can call me Hidan and Jashin is the god that I offer sacrifices to. Now, are you coming or what?"

"If I say yes will you put my head back onto my body?"


"Okay then, let's go!" Naruto's enthusiastic reply was sort of dampened by the fact that he didn't have a body.

After setting Naruto's head near his body the Kyubi had done the rest of the work and Naruto had full control over his body again, Hidan had watched with disinterest at whatever was happening and Naruto was mildly surprised by that. Apparently Hidan did not care that he was a container.

"So, where are we going?" Naruto asked, genuinely curious.

"This way." Hidan replied without looking.

"I know that but why?" his answer was a shrug and a "Shut the fuck up".

"I hate you." said the blonde as they traveled through the forests at a leisurely walking pace.

"The feelings mutual dickhead."

And thus was the start of a beautiful friendship.


Naruto still has an element that will not be shown just yet. But it isn't any of the big 5.

And hit the review this chapter button instead of just adding this to story alerts or whatever cos that shit just irks me, IRKS ME I TELLYOU