All characters © Kubo Tite
Summary: One time when the Karakura Board of Education came by, wondering why Jinta and Ururu were not in school, Kisuke had posed as a homeschooling teacher.
Sensei, or Not
"No," Jinta stated matter-of-factly, shaking his head.
"Um, Kisuke-san, I...agree with Jinta-kun on this, sorry." Ururu winced, trying her best to hide behind her long fringes. Disagreeing with the owner made her visibly uncomfortable.
Urahara Kisuke smiled sunnily, unabashed, with one hand steadying his pinstriped hat. "If you have any other options, please tell me, Jinta-kun," he said lightly, with a tone that suggested he more than relished the idea he had just presented.
After a pause and a sigh that signified that he could not come up with anything more fantastic, Jinta picked up the torn envelope and shook it in his hand defeatedly. The smudged stamp on the envelope's front informed the reader that it had been sent by the Karakura Board of Education. "This," he snapped, "is exactly why we can never live comfortably."
"For the record, Tenchou, I too think this is a horrible idea."
Urahara shook his head at Tessai, turning to Jinta and Ururu. "They want to know why you two are not in school, and we'll give them a reason," he said.
"But you don't know the first thing about arithmetic or grammar! Or even modern human history."
"You also need legal documents," Tessai added, but by now he was merely straw-grasping and he knew it. He could already see that this was a matter that would be impossible to expostulate. The battle had been won a long time ago. With a push of his rectangular spectacles, Tessai fell silent.
"Those are fabricated easily enough. Besides, when have we ever done anything conventionally?"
"You do have a point there, Tenchou," Jinta muttered. "But I still don't like it!"
"There's no easy way around it," Urahara agreed, scratching a hand through his thick, blonde hair, "but I'm sure a captain of heaven can fool a simple human inspector."
"Well said," Tessai said, and nodded at them. "Anyways, you will forget about it soon because…" he held up a wooden broomstick and Jinta groaned loudly. "It's Cleaning Time, Jinta-dono!"
"Alright, alright, I'm coming." The boy sat up from his slouching position at the table, grabbing Ururu on his way out.
"Alright, pigtails. Let's settle who cleans the garage with some Janken."
"But you always cheat, Jinta-kun."
A few days later...
Jinta stared at the letter from the table incredulously, his lunch forgotten. "'We apologize for the inconvenience. Sincerely, the Karakura Board of Education?'" he finished, his voice rising with each word.
"You honestly have no faith in me," Urahara said, sipping his tea contently--if a trifle smugly. Ururu darkened, busying herself intently with her meal. "Did I not tell you that I would make a good homeschooling teacher?"
"Shut it. Do I want to know?"
"Not really," Tessai muttered, knowing that Urahara would fill the two in regardless. He had sent Jinta and Ururu out to pick up some merchandise while the BOE inspectors came to visit Kisuke at the shop the other day.
"It was really quite amusing," Urahara began. "I merely informed them that I had forgotten to renew my qualification. I wore a suit, for the sake of professionalism, and explained to them that you two were children with special needs. My proprietary acumen and use of modern Japanese had them thoroughly charmed, I must say."
"Sp--special--" Jinta spluttered, his face becoming as florid as his messy mop of hair."Wait--there were more than one?"
"A pair, in fact."
"Well it's true," Urahara miffed, holding up a finger. "You two are very gifted. But then afterward..."
"Tenchou," Tessai warned. Urahara flapped a hand at him.
Jinta glared at Tessai. "What is it?"
Tessai fiddled with the end of one of his braids, finally conceding. "Tenchou used a gigai to conduct the meeting," he stated.
"He did. And then while that one was talking with the first inspector, the real one was talking with the other outside."
Ururu looked up from her meal. "Did they...meet?"
Urahara's eyes twinkled furtively from beneath his hat. "Hm, I wonder."
After that day no more inspectors ever came to the Urahara Shouten.