A/N: me and plum-dulce were randomly PMing each other and talking about Kevin's hidden six pack and then some Greg Cipes videos (I'll post my two faves on my profile later maybe) and then somewhere along the line we started discussing Bevin and that it meant a bearded Kevin and what would happen if Kevin had a mustache and then I said I wanted a mustache and then we thought about naming mustaches and somewhere along the line Beard Girl came into it and… yeah. It was dang funny. So thank you to some randomness with plum-dulce, we came up with this.

Disclaimer: idea is shared with me and plum-dulce and then there's characters who clearly aren't ours…


The Adventures of Stalking:
Featuring Super Mustache Woman and Beard Girl

She stroked her thick, black curly Italian style mustache. "Beard Girl, we must find a way to capture Kevin Ethan Levin."

The smaller girl nodded, her fingers playing with the beard that had grown on her face.

Yes, they were a strange pair, one having a mustache and the other having a beard. Facial hair was not normal on girls. Neither were super hero tights. Yet, they both had each.

"Now how to capture him is another question…" said Super Mustache Woman. She kept stroking her mustache. She loved her mustache.

Very, very strange.

Beard Girl looked around the room. It was covered in posters of their targets. The said Kevin Levin was first off on their list. He was the eldest and had the best chance of joining them. His pictures were abundant across the walls, him in every single form they'd ever seen in the past year he'd lived in Bellwood. Covered in metal. Covered in rock. Covered in wood. Covered in more metal. Turns out, he absorbed a lot of metal.

Then it was Ben Tennyson, the Omnitrix bearer. They'd caught sight of all his alien forms in their stalking of the heroes. Swampfire's methane attack was on a ton of their records. Humongousaur was the most commonly used. They had his exact size at each interval of his transformation in a database of a computer. And Diamondhead's real Chromastone form had enough images to prove that they were of the exact same species and everything.

Now the problem with the other Tennyson cousin, Gwen, was that she was too connected to Kevin to let him go. Neither of the tight wearers liked her or had her as a target. But a mortal enemy, Darkstar was up on the list as was Albedo, the Ben clone, and Charmcaster. And Vilgax. It was strange that someone like him was up there, but he was.

And with a line up like that, what could possibly go wrong?

"We need to separate him from the Tennysons…" Super Mustache Woman's voice was contemplative. She mulled over her thoughts for a bit longer. "His home would be a prime target, but too exposed after the attack from Ragnarok. He would know to protect it from anything or anyone that could be considered as an enemy."

They really did know every single of the tiniest details of their targets. Middle names. Birth places. Exact species. There was so much to know and it was all thrown into their brains.

Beard Girl's head tilted to one side. "I believe I have found a plan, master," she said, golden eyes glazing over like a possessed zombie's. Her beard began to glow a faint light brown color, casting it upon her lips and cheeks so that her pallor skin was illuminated.

"Good," mumbled Super Mustache Woman. "Very good."

"THEME MUSIC!" cried the smaller girl as her beard stopped glowing.

The taller and lankier of the two headed over to a desk and pressed the button on a stereo with some serious surround sound music, rigged up in a way only Kevin Levin could rig it. They'd copied so much from their targets to live like them.

And music started up, surrounding the room and making the walls shake at the exact volume that Benjamin Tennyson listened to everything.

They both sang. "SUPER MUSTACHE WOMAN AND HER MIRACULOUS SIDEKICK, BEARD GIRL, WITH THEIR FACIAL HAIR AND AWESOME POWERS OF STALKING!"

Yes, they really did sing that.


A/N: oh jeez, talk about stalkerness… and trust me, it will only get worse! hope you laugh for a little while!! or even if you're creeped out is good too... leave a review and tell me which it is!

~Sky