Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, or the characters in this story. I simply wrote out the scenario in pure boredom. XD... like all of my other stories lol
Summary: Sometimes you just need to put it all out on the line.
Notes I: Yet another addition/one shot between updating my chapter fics haha
Notes II: For some reason, I'm really feeling the pair of Craig/Kyle... they are a feisty match for one another lol
Notes III: Just a little one-shot. I was watching 'The Office' - and I adore the scene in season two, when Jim finally comes clean to Pam about how he feels. For some reason when I was watching it this time, I thought of Craig and Kyle haha.
Chapter Song: Exit Music for a Film - by - Radiohead
I didn't know what else to do.
I had one shot... ONE shot to get everything off my chest; everything that had been bubbling inside me for the past five years.
Having a crush on another boy wasn't the greatest experience... especially in South Park. Luckily, our generation was nowhere near as narrow minded as our parents' generation; there WERE gay couples within the walls of Park County High.
But having a crush on a Jewish, redheaded bookworm was even worse. Partly because said-redhead was already in a relationship with my childhood rival: Stan Marsh. Kyle and his best friend had been dating ever since we started high school and he broke up with Wendy Testerburger for the hundredth time. I always thought Kyle could do better... namely: ME. But their group had never really gotten along with ours - and as luck would have it, Stan had easy access to his best friend, and thus, swooped in before anyone else.
When we'd gotten to high school, the childhood competitions our groups engaged in kind of diminished. So it's not like we were enemies; sometimes we all sat together at lunch... but personally, I found it too hard to bear. I couldn't stand seeing Stan paw over Kyle at the table. Of course it didn't matter WHERE I went, I couldn't escape it. They were always together - in the halls, in the cafeteria, in most classes and outside of school. It was infuriating. Seriously, I couldn't understand what Kyle SAW in that animal-loving, jock-pussy Marsh.
My only salvation was a science class. Marsh wasn't as intellectual as his boyfriend, whereas I was smart enough to be in whatever class I wanted. There was a difference between being stupid and not giving a shit. Half the time, I just didn't give a shit. School wasn't really 'hard' for me. But on the first day of our last, senior year (when I realized Kyle was in my science class) - I started to give a shit about science. I wasn't bad at it either; my grades sometimes rivaled his own.
After our first test, Kyle seemed to realize that I wasn't as stupid or careless as most people thought... and began to sit beside me at my lab station. From that point on, the two of us were partners for any experiments, lab work or projects. It was the ONLY time I had him to myself... and frankly... he seemed just as into it as I was. I even made him laugh sometimes, though our back and forth normally consisted of dry, sarcastic humor. Still, I secretly loved every second.
But I was Craig fucking Tucker: if I loved something, you never saw it. I had become a master at hiding my true feelings and motivations beneath a mask of apathy, with the occasional display of my trusty middle finger. Though I have to admit, I found myself smiling a bit more when I was in science class with him... not to mention, I blushed a few times. I almost NEVER blushed.
And I wasn't the only one. It might sound crazy, but I swear that on more than one occasion... Kyle would blush. And it would be because of me. After all, conducting experiments sometimes required us to work closely; the occasional brush of our hands seemed to fluster Kyle almost as much as it did me. I was just way better at hiding it. Yet every time I saw his cheeks color, or saw him smile shyly, or catch him looking at me... I inwardly jumped for joy.
None of that mattered though. At the end of class - when I would be on a rare, emotional high - I would come crashing down the moment I saw Stan waiting outside the classroom for us to come out. Within seconds, Kyle would be whisked away by his boyfriend, and I'd be left standing there like the idiot I was.
So when graduation rolled around... I figured enough was enough.
I knew he'd be going to some expensive, Ivy League school. Whether or not Stan would go with him was another question, but I couldn't really give a shit. I had gotten into Denver, so I'd be moving there with Clyde after the summer. But I couldn't leave without telling him. It might be the last time I'd ever see him... what did I have to loose? Worst-case scenario, he says 'no' and we go our separate ways.
Our school did a small spree on a formal dance after graduation; everyone was supposed to get all dressed up and have a 'magical' evening... before the dance ended - and everyone migrated to Token's mansion for a raunchy after-party, which most high schools had. It was just the way it went. And while dances weren't really my thing, I have to admit, I couldn't think of a better time to get Kyle alone, and lay it all out.
I didn't go with a tux or fancy suit like most of the others guys; instead, I just wore a black jacket, black pants, and a black button up shirt. I decided to leave my chullo at home for once. I felt kind of naked without it, but my favorite blue hat didn't exactly scream 'formal'. I arrived at the dance with Clyde and Token, and we all sat at the same table in the decorated gym. Tweek was also there, but he was too wrapped up in his French boyfriend, Christophe. They seemed like a good pair, like Butters and Kenny.
Most of the night, I just sat at our table... it was hard to keep my eyes off Kyle. He looked so damn good in a suit. He was wearing a black jacket, a crisp white shirt, and black pants. Not to mention, his red hair was loosely tousled - and seemed to make his green eyes seem all the more piercing. Damn. For some reason though, I got the impression the full effect of the redhead's appearance was lost on his asshole boyfriend. Apparently, Stan, Kenny and Cartman had decided to pre-drink before the dance, and were kind of acting like dickheads. To his credit, Kyle even seemed a little embarrassed.
Toward the end of the dance, I noticed Stan had finally passed out on the table they were sitting at. Cartman was busy dry humping Wendy on the dance floor, and Kenny was off molesting a very willing Butters in the bathroom. I watched earnestly as Kyle checked sweetly on Stan, before he slipped out of the gym with his cell phone. I saw my chance.
Standing up, I quickly escaped out the doors as well. I didn't see him immediately, but I could hear him talking. As I moved toward the corner of the school, I heard Kyle talking on the phone to his mom; telling her he was crashing at Stan's. Lighting up a cigarette (so it wouldn't seem like I just followed him out here) - I smoked, and waited patiently for him to end the phone call.
When I heard him coming back toward me, I felt my whole body tense and my heart start to beat faster. As soon as he rounded the corner and saw me - Kyle flashed me the most gorgeous, effortless smile I'd ever seen. I almost stopped breathing.
I nodded back, flicking my cigarette away. "Hey." I told myself to just play it cool, but that plan was quickly fleeting from my mind.
Damn, why did he have to look so good tonight?
"Can you believe we're finally out of here?" He smiled, shaking his head as he stood in front of me. "It's so unreal. I can't believe I'm leaving this all behind." There was a hint of nostalgia leaking into his voice.
I ran a hand through my somewhat long, dark hair - pushing it away from my eyes as I focused on him. I knew my eyes were one of my more 'unique' features; they were ten times better than Stan's stupid, normal blue ones. I only wished Kyle would see that. "So, where are you off to?" I asked.
"Harvard." Kyle smiled proudly.
My heart sunk a bit. "Congratulations." I said, offering him a weak smile. As bad as I might feel about never seeing Kyle again, I was still adult enough to be proud of him. "Hey, um... can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked, clearing my throat awkwardly as I stood up straight from my previous position of leaning against the wall.
"About what?" Kyle smirked teasingly. "Did you want to tell me how awesome I am? Or compare our final exams in science? Sorry Tucker, you just gotta face facts... you'll never be as smart as a Jew." He grinned.
I found myself smiling back a bit sadly, "No... I, um..." I began, but the words caught in my throat.
My eyes were locked on his emerald green ones; he was watching me expectantly - but politely. He seemed happy and relaxed; he had no idea what I was going to hit him with.
"I'm in love with you."
There it was; blurting it out was certainly one way to go. Smooth, Tucker.
He furrowed his brow - his smile turning a bit more awkward, as if I were kidding. "...What?" He asked, like he was unsure if he heard me right.
"I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but... I needed you to hear it." I continued; my voice was low and smooth like it always was. Kyle's face had gradually fallen, and he wasn't smiling anymore. "Bad timing with graduation, I know, but I-"
He cut me off, "...What are you doing?" Kyle asked uncomfortably, shaking his head a bit. He looked semi-distraught, and almost like he was trying to keep himself from panicking. "...What do you expect me to say to that?" He asked almost defensively.
I sighed. For a few seconds, we just stared at one another.
"I just needed you to know." I said finally. "Once."
Kyle shook his head, finally drawing his eyes down as the blush on his cheeks only increased, "Well, I um... I..." He seemed to swallow his words as he brought his tragic, torn green eyes back up to meet mine. "I can't."
"Yeah." I mumbled my response; it was my turn to lower my eyes to the ground.
The faint sound of music from the gym could still be heard; it only reminded me what was awaiting us both inside.
I saw Kyle's feet take a small step forward toward me, as he spoke again, "You have no idea..."
"Don't do that." I snapped quietly, looking up to him briskly. That was the LAST thing I wanted to hear. My heart was sinking fast, and I didn't want to hear any kind of 'what ifs' from the redhead that was crushing my heart.
But he continued, "...what your friendship means to me."
"Come on," I scoffed, shaking my head as my intense eyes focused on his own. "I don't want to do that. I want to be MORE than that." I told him honestly, taking a step forward so I was gazing down into his bright eyes. I tried to ignore the slight, pathetic crack in my voice when I admitted to him that I wanted to be more than just his friend.
I'd never felt more vulnerable... hell; I could even feel my eyes beginning to water as I looked down at his slightly shorter, skinnier form.
But Kyle's eyes seemed unwavering - though steeped in sadness.
"I can't." He repeated. My eyes shifted away from his again. This had gone worst than I imagined. "I'm really sorry... if you misinterpreted things." Kyle continued. "It's probably my fault."
I shook my head slightly. "Not your fault." I told him. Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I tried to ignore the tears still stinging my eyes. "I'm sorry I... misinterpreted our 'friendship'..."
My tone came out slightly bitter (but more defeated) as I brushed passed him and walked back through the gym doors.
I'd never felt so horrible. That had gone even worse than I expected. It was pathetic to say that the 'hopeful' side of me had almost anticipated him saying 'yes' or maybe that he liked me too.
But this wasn't a fairytale - this was South Park.
I sat back down at my table; no one had even noticed I was gone - which wasn't a big deal, since they probably just thought I had gone for a smoke. I couldn't help but take notice when Kyle came back in... though it was a good five minutes after I had. My eyes followed him as he walked back over to Stan and sat next to his boyfriend, who apparently, had waken up and was chatting enthusiastically with Butters and Kenny. Kyle seemed a bit distracted; his face wasn't as bright as it had been at the beginning of the evening... and it was pretty obvious to me that my confession was now consuming his thoughts.
Good. I wanted him to feel guilty.
But I knew he probably didn't feel half as rotten as I did. The 'rejecter' only took half the emotional beating that the 'rejected' did.
I immediately regretted my decision to go to Token's party.
I should have just ditched, gone home, and wallowed in self-pity. I took little comfort in the fact that I wouldn't see Kyle again after tonight. I doubted that we'd see each other during the summer (especially after this), and then we'd be moving to different cities. It was a bittersweet feeling.
Actually scratch that. Bittersweet implied that I was happy about something... but there was nothing 'happy' about this entire mess.
I'd managed to have a few drinks at Token's before Kyle and his good-for-nothing boyfriend finally showed up. I jealousy pictured them having a quickie in the back of Stan's truck before arriving. It was so fucking devastating; even though I had no real proof that had happened... just imagining it was enough to make my blood boil. Abandoning drinking in the house, I slipped out back to have a smoke. Kenny and Christophe interrupted my peaceful getaway shortly after, and busted out a few joints. I was more than happy to partake in smoking with them; weed would at least allow me to feel removed, relaxed, and completely out of it.
When we'd finished, the three of us retreated back inside - and lazed around the kitchen. Their small, semi-drunk blond boyfriends soon joined us; I kind of engaged in the conversation, but I was too high and too depressed to really care what they were talking about.
"Are there mixers in here?" The cheerful voice of Stan Marsh interrupted.
My whole body and jaw tensed just hearing his annoying, cocky voice. It seemed like he was grating on my nerves more than usual tonight. My icy blue-gray eyes trailed up to see Stan wandering into the kitchen with a goofy grin, as Kyle followed behind. I was a little relieved to see Kyle looking just as miserable as I was; he was careful to avoid looking at me as he stood in the kitchen with Stan - who was now chatting with Kenny, Butters, Tweek and Christophe.
I wanted to leave... but I didn't want it to seem obvious as to WHY I was leaving. So I just leaned against the counter and kept to myself - ignoring my friends as they exchanged drunken jokes and meaningless conversations. A few times, I DID lift my eyes to look at Kyle (sue me, it was hard not to look at the gorgeous redhead in the room) - but every time I did, a jealous knot twisted in my stomach.
Stan was currently trying to suck on Kyle's neck - pulling and tugging him closer. But to my surprise, Kyle actually didn't seem into it. He seemed kind of embarrassed and distracted, almost borderline annoyed with Stan's behavior as he shied away from the attention.
Unfortunately, as I angrily watched Stan trying to get it off with his boyfriend in front of the rest of us (though to be honest, Kenny and Christophe also seemed otherwise engaged with their boyfriend at the moment) - Kyle raised his eyes to look right into mine.
I froze briefly.
Thankfully, the sad, almost heartbroken look in his green eyes only entranced me for a few seconds... before the anger and embarrassment that resulted from his rejection resurfaced in the pit of my stomach.
Shifting from my position against the counter, I stormed out of the kitchen and stalked broodingly back through Token's monster-sized living room. This was torture. I should have kept my mouth shut... maybe then I could have spent the party having fun like everyone else. Hell, I probably could have had a few last, memorable moments with Kyle that would have allowed us to at LEAST part on good terms.
I picked out a seat near Kevin, Clyde, Token and Cartman - who were playing flip cup. I didn't participate, but I was somewhat amused just watching.
That was, until I saw Kyle pushing through the crowds from the kitchen angrily - phone in hand as he dialed, and slipped outside.
I wanted to ignore him; I wanted to just stay there, and pretend like I hadn't seen Kyle looking semi-distraught and clearly upset as he barged out of the party alone.
But my stupid heart was already thumping in my chest - giving directions to my brain to stand up and follow him. Heading out the front door, I furrowed my brow when I didn't see him. Closing it behind me, the silence of the night surrounded me... and after listening for a few seconds, I heard a familiar voice speaking in a hushed voice.
Taking a few steps toward the side of the mansion - I stopped at the corner and rested against the wall; listening as Kyle talked on the phone:
"...About two hours ago..." I heard him say; I clearly caught him in the middle of his conversation. "No, I didn't know what to say..." He paused. "Yes I know." Another heavy pause, "Um... I-I don't know, Ike... he's a friend, I-" He stopped himself again, listening to his brother on the other end. I'd stopped breathing myself, praying it was ME Kyle was talking about. "Yeah... he's great." Kyle continued; his voice sounding choked up with tears. "Yeah... I think I do..." He admitted meekly.
With a heavy sigh, I stepped out from around the corner - alerting him to my presence. Kyle tensed and turned around, facing away from me and quickly wiping his eyes. "Um, I have to go." He said quickly into his phone. "I will, yeah, bye." He rushed, before closing his cell phone.
Slowly, he turned back toward me as I approached him.
"Listen, Craig... I-" But he didn't get to finish.
Instead, I pulled him into my arms and kissed him deeply on the lips without waiting (or asking) for permission. I felt his smaller form tense against my own for a few moments... before gradually, he sunk into the kiss. To my surprise, Kyle even started to kiss me back. A small moan erupted from the back of my throat when his slender hands came up to cup my cheeks - before they slid back into my longer dark hair. My arms pulled him closer to me as our kiss continued.
It wasn't a heated, porn-like kiss - we weren't trying to devour each other or anything. It was a true, genuine kiss: deep and slow as the two of us savored it.
When our lips finally parted, our bodies remained close, still wrapped in each other's arms. Our noses lightly brushed together as we stared at one another - breathing deeply and unevenly. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that..." I admitted in a husky tone.
"Yeah..." Kyle breathed. "Me too." His green eyes shifted as they stared into mine. "I think we're just drunk."
I furrowed my brow a bit. "I'm not drunk. Are you drunk?" I asked.
"No..." He said, trailing his eyes along my face. Craning my head down a bit, our noses and lips brushed together again - I was ready to engage in another kiss, when I felt his head pull slightly away from mine. "Craig..." He whispered sadly.
I opened my eyes to look into his again; once more, I saw pain - the regret, the embarrassment.
"...You're really gonna stay with him?" I asked. It didn't really need to be clarified that I was talking about Stan.
As his lower lip trembled slightly, Kyle nodded.
My heart sunk again - but this time, at least I was prepared for it.
"Ok." I nodded back; seemingly ready to accept the fact that we were not going to be together. I'd tried... twice.
Slowly, I slid my arms from around him and took a step back. I couldn't be sure, but I could have sworn that Kyle leaned forward a bit as I moved away from him. We stared at each other in silence for a few minutes... and that's when I realized my hand was holding one of his.
Regretfully, I slid my hand out of the redhead's and walked away. But I didn't go back inside.
Instead, I just gathered up what was left of my dignity... and walked home...
Summer allowed me to isolate myself from the humiliation I felt. Thank god I didn't have to go back and face Kyle in our science class. Since we'd graduated and it was the holiday, everyone was busy preparing to move away for college or university. I only saw friends I wanted to see; namely Token, Clyde, Tweek, Christophe and a few others.
Not that avoiding Kyle kept him out of my mind. I thought about him at least once a day... but jealousy immediately followed. When KYLE popped into my mind, Stan followed shortly after; I could only imagine the two fucking like bunnies, and it still tore me up inside.
What made it even worse was that he tried to call me a few times. My phone would vibrate; I'd look at it, and instantly freeze when I saw 'KYLE' on the caller ID. Of course I didn't answer. I didn't want to have to hear his voice, and after the way we'd left things at the party, I thought I'd been clear that I was letting him go. He chose Stan, and I had to accept that.
So as curious as I was... I ignored the occasional phone call I got from him.
That was, until, he showed up in my room.
There was about two weeks left in the summer holiday. Most of my stuff was packed up already, and as nervous as I was about moving to a new city... I was relieved to finally be getting out of this town. It was about eleven o'clock at night; I was lying on my bed reading when I heard some commotion near my open window. Glancing lazily away from my book, I immediately tensed when I saw Kyle standing there.
He looked as gorgeous as ever, even in a simple t-shirt and jeans, with his red, loose curls tousled so effortlessly across his forehead; illuminating his green eyes even more. But he looked sad. His eyes were a bit puffy, like he'd been crying - and his whole body looked heavier... like there was a great weight on his shoulders. The two of us just stared at one another for a few minutes.
What the hell was I supposed to say? I thought ignoring his few calls would get the message across that I didn't (or rather, couldn't bear) to see him.
But before I could say anything - Kyle crossed the room and crawled onto my bed; straddling my lap as I dropped my book; forgetting it as my eyes ran over him in confusion. "What the fuck are you do-" I started to speak until his lips claimed mine in a deep, needy kiss.
I was stunned, and for a few minutes, I froze. When his tongue lapped over my slightly parted lips, a small moan escaped my throat, and I kissed him back. As his hands threaded into my black hair, my arms snaked around his waist and pulled him closer. Our lips finally pried from one another, and my brow furrowed, "What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously - a small hint of resentment leaking into my tone. Kyle had made his choice, and it was clear I wasn't it. Or rather, it HAD been clear I wasn't it.
"Shut up." Kyle choked out sadly, slamming his mouth over mine again.
I knew it was wrong. I knew I should have protested more... but fuck - kissing Kyle was addicting. His lips rivaled his skin and hair in terms of how soft they were. As we continued to heatedly make out, I could feel a damp wetness occasionally brushing against my cheeks. When I opened my eyes, I noticed Kyle was crying. Frowning, I pulled back from the kiss again, trailing my eyes over his face with concern and confusion.
His tone was so sad, so heartbroken.
I wanted to know what had happened; clearly he was upset, and images flashed in my mind of Stan hurting him... emotionally, and maybe even physically. Anger boiled up inside of me, and I wanted so desperately to ask him what had brought him into such a sad state. I had no qualms about kicking the shit out of that jock pussy if he'd somehow hurt Kyle.
Instead, I became distracted as the redhead's lower lip trembled, before he pressed his mouth to mine again eagerly. This time, I didn't protest. I kissed him back - desperately wanting to take away any hurt I could; he wanted a distraction, and I would give it to him. Increasing my iron like grip around his slender waist, I flipped our positions so he was trapped beneath me on my bed. He moaned as I ground my jean-clad hips between his legs.
I felt his hands tugging at the bottom of my shirt; our lips parted briefly so he could pull the t-shirt over my head and toss it aside. The sound of our mingled panting, the occasional moan, and the bed creaking with the increased activity were all that could be heard in the room as my hands began to fumble with the front of his jeans...
When I opened my eyes the next morning, I was met with a mess of red curls. My nose and lips instinctively nestled into the comforting scent of his hair as I took a deep breath in.
We were still in my bed, naked; I could feel the heat of his skin against my own as we lay on our sides. I was spooned right up against his back with my arm draped over his waist. His hand was holding mine - and he squeezed it tighter when he stirred in his sleep... slowly waking up as my lips trailed along the shell of his ear and down the side of his neck.
"What time is it?" His quiet voice asked.
I kept my cold-colored eyes focused on him. "Around seven." I told him.
The two of us stayed in bed for a few more hours, simply holding one another - occasionally kissing, occasionally talking - but not really moving from our embrace. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end... and soon, we both got up and got dressed. My parents and sister liked to sleep late, so I wasn't really worried about walking Kyle to my front door and being seen. When we got there, the two of us paused, unsure of what to say or how to end this encounter.
So I said the only thing I could...
"Good luck at Harvard." I mumbled, giving him a weak smile. "I know you'll do well."
I didn't bring up Stan, or any of our previous heartache. I wasn't sure WHAT last night meant, or what it was... but I knew enough to just keep my mouth shut. It had happened - and truth be told, I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Kyle had a small smile on his lips, but his eyes were still attempting to hide some kind of pain. Leaning in, he placed a sweet, lingering kiss on my mouth. I kissed him back, and when our lips parted, our noses lightly nuzzled against one another before he backed up and disappeared down my front walk way. Leaning against the doorframe, my icy-colored eyes followed him all the way down the street; still basked in the early morning light.
I was almost certain I wouldn't see him again...
E P I L O G U E
Clyde and I came home from Denver together - like we always did - for the holidays. It had been four years, and we were both in our last year about to graduate in our respective programs.
As soon as we arrived, Clyde made us go to Token's house before anything else - he was obviously eager to reconnect with his boyfriend (who was consequently away at Oxford during the school year), and I only agreed to go along because Token was my friend too. It was always nice to see him. To my surprise, Christophe and Tweek were also at the house; they had just arrived from Paris the previous night. Apparently, Christophe was still doing mercenary work, and Tweek was working in a caf .
The five of us had a great time catching up, as we always did. But halfway through the night, Christophe got a phone call from Kenny - inviting us out to the bar for a drink with him and Butters.
We headed out to Skeeter's Bar (once a hang out of our parents), and met up with the blond couple - who consequently, had stayed in South Park. Butters had become a teacher and Kenny was working as a mechanic.
I was both relieved and a bit disappointed to see that Kyle wasn't there. I'd kind of hoped he would be; it had been four years since I'd seen or spoken to him... but still... I thought about him. After a couple hours (and seat rotating), I finally landed a seat beside Kenny. We began to chat idly about the good times when we used to skip some of our high school classes to go smoke together outside.
Finally, I found an opening...
"So, you still keep in touch with your old posse?" I asked casually.
Kenny shrugged. "I still talk to Stan and Kyle, but I haven't heard anything from Cartman. Not that I'm loosing sleep over it." He chuckled. "I think Stan's coming in on Saturday, and Kyle will be coming in tomorrow." Kenny told me, taking another sip of his beer. "He's excited to see you."
I quirked a brow at the last comment he'd decided to tease me with.
"...Really?" I asked awkwardly.
Kenny flashed his infamous Cheshire-cat grin. "Yup."
"I thought he'd be more excited to see his boyfriend." I grumbled, downing the rest of my own beer. I just couldn't help but make the comment; I was an asshole by nature.
The blond furrowed his brow, "Why? Who's he dating?" Kenny asked curiously.
"Marsh, dipshit." I reminded him with a scoff.
But Kenny shook his head, "Dude, they haven't dated since high school. They broke up a few weeks before Kyle left for Harvard." He told me. I immediately stiffened at the information; no wonder he'd been so distraught and upset when he'd come into my bedroom. I thought about that night a lot. "I guess Stan wasn't willing to try the 'long distance' thing, and they called it off."
I didn't know what to say... I was too busy trying to keep a smile from spreading on my lips. It was sad news, for sure, and I was hurt that Kyle hadn't just TOLD me what was going on when he showed up in my bedroom. I would have been there for him; maybe I could have helped him through it. But frankly, the news only confirmed my initial belief that Stan was, and always would be, an idiot. Seriously? He gave up someone like Kyle just because of distance? Hell, I knew I would have done everything and anything I could to stay with him... distance or not.
But that was four years ago.
When our group finally left Skeeter's bar, Kenny got a phone call on his cell. As I was about to head to my car (Clyde was going back with Token in his, so I was free to finally go home) - the young McCormick man grabbed my arm and stopped me. I lit up a cigarette impatiently, waiting for him to end his conversation, and tell me why he was preventing me from finally getting to bed.
"...Yeah, I'll come pick you up." Kenny smirked, still staring at me as he spoke on the phone. "See you soon."
Hanging it up, I raised a brow. "What?" I asked.
"Do me a favor?" He grinned. "Go pick up Kyle from the airport."
I stopped breathing for a second. Clearing my throat, I glanced toward Butters, who was waiting in their car for Kenny to join him. Token, Clyde, Christophe and Tweek had already left. "He's... here?"
"Yeah." Kenny nodded. "He caught an earlier flight. He asked me to pick him up, but... Butters isn't really used to driving at night, and I'm too buzzed to drive. Besides, everyone else already left." He explained; though I got the impression the 'excuse' was bullshit. "So, that leaves you." He smiled.
I wanted to protest... I wanted to find some kind of excuse because I didn't think I could stand to see him. It might be too painful. I'd lost four potential years with him because he hadn't told me that he and Stan had broken up. Not to mention, he'd rejected me after I confessed I loved him. But my curiosity won out in the end, and eventually I agreed.
The whole ride to the airport was done in silence; I didn't even have the radio on... I was too nervous, too anxious. I just kept running over all the possibilities in my head. What if he wasn't happy to see me? What if he was already seeing someone else, and Kenny just didn't know about it? What if he was with someone at the airport? What if things were awkward? What if he was mad I hadn't tried to contact him in four years?
When I pulled into the airport parking lot, I saw Kyle standing near the main entrance. It was pretty late, so there was only one other person who seemed to be waiting for a ride. Despite the fact it had been four years since I'd seen him... Kyle still looked as breathtaking as ever. His hair still hung loosely around his ears and forehead beautifully; he was wearing a dark green pea coat and jeans. He looked a bit older, but not by much; he would be about 22 now, while I was 23. I got the impression he'd 'dressed down' to come home, which was only natural.
Sliding out of my car, I felt a bit self-conscious approaching him. I wasn't wearing anything spectacular... but I wished I were. I just had on simple black jeans, a blue button up shirt, and my black winter coat. I also didn't have my lucky chullo... and I wondered briefly if he'd recognize me without it. Or even remember me.
But then again, Kenny HAD said that Kyle was 'excited to see me'... so... that had to mean something, right?
As I walked closer and closer, I saw him look up and focus his eyes on me. He was unresponsive at first... but the closer I got - the more his face seemed to change. It ranged from curiosity, to hopefulness, to surprise, and finally, recognition.
But he didn't smile...
And that disheartened me more than anything.
Stopping a few feet from him, we stared at one another silently for a few moments.
"Hey." I greeted uncomfortably. He still wasn't saying anything; he was just staring at me. "Uh... I know Kenny was supposed to pick you up, but, uh... he asked me..." I explained, clearing my throat awkwardly. I sounded like such a tool. "We all went out for a few drinks, and I think he drank a bit too much... um... so... he asked if-"
My lame, rambling explanation was cut off as Kyle suddenly charged toward me. I stepped back a bit - initially expecting him to punch me. After all, I was only used to people 'charging' at me in a confrontational manner. But shock followed that initial flinch, when he wrapped his arms around my neck and slammed his lips against mine.
I stumbled back a bit from the force of him throwing his weight into me - but I caught myself, and him, as my feet planted themselves and my arms wrapped around his waist. When our deep kiss ended, Kyle placed multiple, smaller kisses along my lips and face before resting his forehead against mine.
The two of us stood there in the cold - in front of the airport - panting deeply as we recovered from the kiss... and our previous tensions and anticipation began to melt away.
"Why didn't you tell me you and Stan broke up?" I breathed out deeply.
Kyle sighed and closed his eyes; "I was embarrassed..." He admitted gently, nestling his nose against mine. "You told me you loved me, and... I still picked Stan. I've never felt good about it... and... it came back to bite me in the ass." He said heavily. "I knew it would."
I nodded slowly, but didn't say anything.
For some reason, 'I-Told-You-So' didn't seem appropriate, despite how eager my inner child was to scream it.
"I missed you." Kyle whispered sadly; his familiar, vibrant green eyes seemed to be searching mine for some kind of reassurance.
Giving him my best, cocky smirk, I leaned in and kissed him deeply again. "I know. Kenny told me." I lied. McCormick had said he was excited to see me, not that he'd missed me. But the two went hand in hand right? I saw Kyle narrow his eyes a bit, clearly unimpressed by my answer.
"I missed you, too." I said after baiting him a bit.
Slowly, a smile grew on his lips to match my own...