Mr. Monday: There's no actual song in this chapter, it mostly just follows the Reapers.
Chapter 7, The Best Song in the World:
Ketsueki, Joshua, BJ, Tehno, and 777 were all sitting in the Dead God's Pad to talk about the musical, Joshua had called the band in a few minutes ago and Joshua had introduced them to the Conductor.
"Nice to meet you, my name is Ketsueki Mikoto; I'm the new Conductor of Shibuya and also musical director." Ketsueki introduced himself to the Reapers.
"Wait a minute, you're the Conductor? Why weren't we told anything? And what the hell does 'musical director mean?" The clearly confused 777 asked.
"Well you see, the Angels think I'm incompetent or something so they're judging a Reaper's Game to see if I can go a week without doing something wrong. Obviously the only way to prove to them how great I am is to have a musical game, and Ketsueki is the guy in charge of making the music." Joshua explained, expecting it to make perfect sense.
"Wouldn't it just be easier just to actually do the Game right without doing something completely retarded?" BJ asked.
"NO!" Ketsueki shouted for some reason. "You see boys, I was like you once, I was naïve and thought that my artistic ambitions would all work out and that the Angels wanted a plain old game." By now Ketsueki had stood behind them and put his arms on their shoulders, making the Reapers visibly uncomfortable. "However, after my city was erased I learned my lesson, and now all I want to do is make sure that a major tragedy doesn't happen to someone else." The whole speech sounded like it had been practiced.
"Right..." 777 removed Ketsueki's arm from around his shoulder. "So anyways, what type of music do you do?"
"I do anger, pain, fear, and aggression." Ketsueki had paused between each word and briefly stared off into space for whatever reason.
"Right…Well we're a band." 777 explained, although he was pretty sure that Ketsueki knew that.
"Yeah, and you see, the real reason we brought you here is because we need a favor of you. The Angels will only be impressed if we have a great finale, so we need you three to write the best song in the world in three days." Joshua explained to the Reapers.
"Wait what? That's impossible." BJ was clearly confused.
"No it isn't, just do a lot of drugs or something and you'll be fine." Joshua reassured them.
"If we could have written the best song in the world that easily don't you think we would have done it already?" 777 asked, although Joshua clearly didn't understand how 'music' or 'writing' worked.
"Whatever you have to do just do it." Joshua shrugged, then forced the band to leave.
Kurohime, Albatross, Kariya, and Uzuki were all sitting in the Dead God's Pad together, waiting for something that they apparently needed to talk about with the higher-ups. So far the room had been completely silent, Kariya didn't care enough to say anything, Kariya was trying to come up with a clever insult towards the new Reapers, Albatross was content with his usual smug grin, and Kurohime was just bored. Finally Albatross decided to break the silence.
"Ketsueki and Joshua are probably firing you two and allowing us to replace you." He said.
Kariya shrugged, but Uzuki was a bit less relaxed.
"Yeah right! You two suck as Reapers and you look like Tim Burton characters." She scoffed.
"THESE ARE DARK STAR CLOTHES!" The twins shouted in unison, although why they would get so offended over clothes was unclear.
"Kurohime, Albatross!" Ketsueki called for the twin from another room.
Both Goth Reapers looked angry still, but left.
"What the hell was that about? Why did they call us here if they didn't need us?" Uzuki asked her partner.
"Who cares? They probably have to do more of those songs." Kariya replied.
Joshua walked into the room where the two Reapers were sitting, although he had no idea why they were there.
"What are you two doing here? You should be watching the Players or something!" Joshua, who looked like a nervous wreck, explained to them.
"So how are we going to do this?" 777 asked his band mates, they had been sitting in their recording studio trying to figure out how to write the best song in the world.
"Well we should probably start by not being Japanese." Tehno said.
"And why is that?" 777 asked.
"It's like a scientific fact that 100% of Japanese music is awful." Tehno replied.
"We could go on a wacky journey to find a guitar pick that's actually Satan's tooth." BJ suggested.
"Wait a minute…That's it!" 777 had figured out the answer to their problems.
"Really?" BJ was excited because for once he had a good idea.
"No, but I've got a great idea from that." 777 explained, hoping that in this game's mythology there was an opposite end to the spectrum. "What we need to do is ask the Devil to give us the ability to play the best song in the world." 777 explained.
After about five minutes of internet browsing they found a guide on how to sell their souls to Satan, and after another five minutes they had all the necessary pentagrams covering their studio.
"Klaatu verakta niktu!" They all shouted the magic spell they saw on the internet. There was a flash of red light, and they could hear heavy metal guitar riffs playing in the background. In the largest circle in front of them they could Satan. Except the author didn't feel like improvising a Danny Elfman Devil so instead it looked like the Devil from the Pick of Destiny.
"The fuck do you guys want!" The Devil demanded, shouting for no real reason.
"We want the power to play…"
"Listen, if I have to hear the phrase 'the best song in the world' again I'm going to kill you three!" The Devil interrupted 777. "Anyways, do you know who I am exactly!" The Devil demanded.
"Umm…A giant red dickhead who keeps shouting?" Tehno guessed.
"NO!" The Devil shouted, again. "I am the Devil, the Prince of Darkness. You three are some mediocre Reaper bands who think that I help anyone who calls me out of Hell."
"Well, don't you?" 777 asked.
"Actually I do. I kind of forget why I even got mad at you in the first place." The Devil sighed. "So if you sign this contract," A giant scroll contract appeared in Satan's hand. "Your souls will belong to me and you'll be able to play the best song in the world." The Devil sounded less like the ultimate evil and more like a lawyer or something.
"DEAL!" All three Reapers shouted in unison.
They signed the contracts with magical pens that also appeared out of nowhere, and five seconds later the Devil and all of the satanic symbols they had put everywhere disappeared. They all did get a bitchin pentagram tattoo on their wrists.
"Is there something wrong with me if I can still see all the little designs we made even though they're gone?" BJ asked.
"That sounds like a personal problem, why are you putting that in the plot?" 777 inquired.
"Just need some input from other people." BJ replied, although this response mystified the other Reapers.
Uzuki had dragged Kariya into her apartment, although when Kariya asked if she was hitting on him he was smacked. As soon as they got to her apartment Uzuki immediately went online and looked up Dark Star on Wikipedia. There were two results, a comic book company owned by a massive wanker named Damien Knox, and a clothing company. Uzuki clicked on the link to the clothing company.
"Dark Star clothing company, a Japanese clothing company, formerly owned by Ketsueki Mikoto. It was known for its gothic style, and commonly featured models and siblings Ken "Albatross" Sasaki and Kurohime Sasaki. The company faced financial problems after the rising popularity of Hot Topic, and closed after it failed to branch out and get another store in the town Shibuya." Uzuki read aloud.
"What's your point?" Kariya sighed.
"There's more: After it closed its founder Ketsueki Mikoto was sent to the Denton Hospital for the Batshit Insane because of his apparent spiral into madness evidenced by his Wily Coyote-like revenge plots on Shibuya. He disappeared from the asylum a week later, along with patient Masaru Sakuraba." Uzuki finished reading.
Mr. Monday: So there were no Players, but I couldn't think of anything important for them to do. And I really do need a second opinion.