"It Isn't Me."
by pari106

pari106@hotmail.com; http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html; Disclaimer: DA is not mine;
Rating: PG; Code: M/L; A/L; short; Summary: Keeping with the trend of wrapping up my "Inspired By"
collections with an Alec/Logan piece, this is Alec's POV at the beginning of "Dawg Day Afternoon".




It isn't me.

That could be the story of my life.

My whole life I've either been judged for the actions of someone I'm not, my brother, or I've been lying
low…pretending to be something I'm not. Human. It's a theme that's governed some of the most
important moments in my life.

Standing in a cell in Seattle, coming face to face with my "breeding partner" for the first time…

"Ben?" she'd whispered, as if in awe.

'Who or what is "Ben"?' I'd wondered. Not me.

Or sitting in another cell, a jail cell, almost a year later…still in Seattle, still claiming the same defense…

The guards' eyes had seemed to speak to me as they'd walked by. They were the only ones who would
speak to me. And what they said was "Murderer". "Psycho." All I could think in response was "It wasn't
me…it isn't me."

That's all I can think now, with Eyes Only up there on the t.v. screen. It wasn't me.

It wasn't me who nearly took those eyes off the air. For good. Just like it hasn't been me those eyes have
followed across a room… It hasn't been me Logan has risked his life, time and time again, just to be close
to. It's never been me. Even though I've gotten the feeling, now and then, that it could have been. It could
be me. If not for Max still hanging around… Hell, even with Max still around. If I only worked hard
enough for it. And God knows it's worth working for.

But I don't. I never have. Because I don't want to get Logan hurt. Or killed. Or worse.

Still, he got hurt anyhow. And it wasn't me who hurt him, but it scared the hell out of me all the same.

And it wasn't Max who cared…really cared enough to do the right thing, to protect him, until it was almost
too late. But it's her he's still chasing after, all the same.

"You know what this is about, don't you?" I say to her.

"Logan's just trying to do what he thinks is right," she responds.

Idiot.

"He's reaching out to someone, Max," I tell her.

And it sure as hell isn't me. That's the story of my life.