Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I don't own Bleach.
Warning: Spoilers for chapters 500 something.
Author's note: I wrote this before today's chapter (561) came out.
Summoning the Shinigami
Abarai Renji felt awkward. Senjumaru Shutara might be the best seamstress in Soul Society and perhaps everywhere else too, her clothes might also work as armor and emergency reiryoku source, but her fashion sense left a lot to be desired. With all the cloth she had heaped on him he felt like a girl. All the silk made it hard to move around without tripping over it and in was covered in flower patterns in pink, yellow, baby blue, lilac, pastel green, cream, and did I mention pink? He looked so girly and cute in it that Rukia had laughed at him. He had retorted that she looked just as bad, but she had pointed out that she was a girl and looking girly and cute was a good thing for her. He had been just coming up with a witty comeback when the message of the Vandenreich attack on Soul Society came, sparing him further humiliation. He and Rukia raced to Seireitei, but it was too far away. So they ran. And ran. And ran some more.
And then he felt a tug and suddenly he was somewhere else. It looked like the Living World, but it had a different feel to it. When he looked around, he found out he was standing on a roof inside of some barrier. There seemed to be a battle going on around him. And there were two men, one old, dressed in armor, one younger, unhealthy pale and with a really weird soul. And that man was laughing.
"So that's your ultimate technique?" He paused to chuckle. "Summoning a transvestite? What good it is going to do you?"
Transvestite? Renji saw red. Some weird guy in a dress with a girly ribbon had no right to call him a transvestite just because he was wearing... eh, a dress. Maybe it was time to test his new zanpakutou.
A minute later, as the pale guy's body was lying on the ground in several pieces and his soul was being sent wherever the souls of people of this world went if they were seriously evil, he decided that the replacement for Zabimaru worked really well. So he returned to his original problem. There was a man who had seen him in a dress. For a brief moment he considered killing him, but then decided against it. It might send the guy into Soul Society and there he might tell what he had seen. So he just whacked him on the head and hoped it would cause traumatic amnesia. Then he remembered he had the memory replacement device and used it. He hoped the old man will end up 'remembering' something really weird.
And then it was time to test how his new Zanpakutou opened the Senkaimon. He had to return to Seireitei quickly and kick some Quincy ass so he could finally get rid of the ridiculous dress.