Author's Note:

This is set somewhere early in season 2, after Stacy has left but before Wilson moves in.

I do not own House or Wilson. It's a shame but I double checked.

This is slash. If you don't like slash why are you still reading this?! Enjoy :D

Essence of Wilson

The door bell rang. House ignored it. It rang again. House emptied the vicodin into his mouth.

"House! I know you're in there!"

Pulling himself up on his cane, the doctor hobbled over to the door and peered through the spy hole.

"What gave me away?" He asked sarcastically through the wood.

"I could hear you pill popping from down the corridor"

House opened the door begrudgingly and Wilson stepped inside, holding tightly onto the six-pack of beer as he negotiated his way across the mess on the floor.

"It wouldn't kill you to tidy up you know" Remarked Wilson, reprimandingly.

"But why risk it?" House asked, prodding his friend's shoulder with the end of his cane. Simultaneously he tripped over a pile of medical journals and fell headlong onto the sofa, collapsing on top of his bad leg. A spasm of pain flashed across his face as he pulled himself upright on the cushion.

"This is the part where you're supposed to laugh" He said to Wilson, both hands on his leg.

"I don't find it very funny" The other doctor answered, and balancing the six-pack on a precarious tower of newspapers, he crouched down in front of House and pulled the diagnostician's leg out towards him.

"Ow!" House yelped, indignantly.

"Take off your pants"

"If you're trying to seduce me you'll have to try better than that"

"Fine. Be in pain. I'll just drink these all by myself then…" He glanced over at the beer.

"If anybody asks, you forced me"

"Oh shut up" Wilson responded, pulling the rest of House's jeans off and onto the floor. He reached up to the other man's leg.

"Tell me where it hurts"

"I can tell this is going to be a worthwhile exercise" House returned, his face screwed up in pain.

Wilson tentatively moved his hands up House's thigh, the latter buckling up against him in anguish.

"It would be better if you didn't move" Wilson reprimanded, lifting one eyebrow.

"Maybe I enjoy making your life difficult" House half-heartedly returned, wincing in pain.

"Oh I have no doubt" Wilson said, simultaneously pressing his thumb down on House's wound, causing the other to cry out in agony that slowly evolved into a moan as the oncologist's expert fingers found the right nerves and applied pressure until the pain momentarily subsided.

For a moment, House didn't dare open his mouth to say anything for fear of the noise that might come out. Finally the touch of Wilson's warm hands on his skim got to him.

"Ok Stop! Stop!" He yelled through clenched teeth.

"Why?" Wilson asked, drawing out the syllable but not removing his hands.

"Because if you keep rubbing me like that you are going to have to jerk me off as well"

Wilson immediately withdrew his hands as if they had been burnt.

Without meeting House's eyes, he got up off the floor, dragged the beer over to the sofa, and sat down a good space away from House.

House took a bottle from the other doctor without a word, very aware that his pants were on the floor by his feet and simultaneously aware that if he tried to pull them on they would probably get stuck somewhere around his nether regions.

"Of course" Said House, breaking the awkward silence that was sitting uncomfortably between them. "While you would be considerably cheaper, I would receive more enjoyment if I called in one of my more expensive 'friends' to help"

"Keep telling yourself that House!" Said Wilson, shaking his head with a grin, tapping his bottle to House's, and settling down in front of the TV.

"Are we okay?" House asked as he limped into the oncologist's office the next morning.

Without looking up from his desk, rubbing the back of his neck and pretending to do paperwork, Wilson answered

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"Oh" House started, hobbling over to the sofa "I was thinking after all that wild sex last night there might be some friction"

"I'm sorry; I must have missed that part of the evening"

"I knew that beer was a bad idea" House smirked "You always were such a light weight"

Wilson glanced down at his file and realised he had written the same sentence twice.

"I could always remind you" Came House's voice from the sofa.

Wilson absentmindedly wrote the sentence again, and then getting annoyed with himself flung his arms in the air –

"Will you please stop rubbing your cane in that obviously suggestive manner!"

House lept up, as best he was able, and made his way towards the desk. Wilson, on the other hand, had begun to head for the door.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?!" House asked, blocking Wilson's exit with his cane and sidling over to him.

"If you think for one second…" Wilson began, but just then the door opened and Cuddy flounced in, doing her infamous double take with her eyebrows at the sight before her.

"Do you mind?!" House exclaimed, waving his cane in the air, "Wilson and I were about to have hot gay sex on top of all his cancer patient's files!"

"Maybe you should concentrate on your own files" Cuddy retorted, handing House a case and leaving the room. House threw a theatrical wink at Wilson before following her out.

Wilson rolled his eyes and shook his head before heading back to his desk to correct his notes.

Before Wilson had even raised his hand to knock, House's front door was flung open. House surveyed the state in front of him.

"Don't ask" Wilson said, with his hands as much as his mouth, sidled into the flat and walked round towards the sofa.

"What happened?" House questioned, following him.

"What part of 'don't ask' do you have a problem with?"

"The part where I'm meant to squash my insatiable curiosity" He was leaning on his cane at the end of the sofa, head forward watching the other doctor.

"Did she kick you out? Were you having an affair, was she…."

"Shut up House, will you"

"Nope. I think-"

Before he had a chance to finish Wilson had pulled him towards him and planted a kiss on his mouth. Then as quickly as it had come it went, and the oncologist sat back down and flicked on the TV. Then he grinned,

"Knew I could make you shut up"


"What?" Wilson asked, dragging his eyes away from the screen.

"You tasted of mint" House answered, over-obviously licking his lips. "Now why would you taste of mint?"

"Unlike some people I brush my teeth before I leave the house"

"See that's not an argument" Said House, scooting Wilson over and sitting down on the sofa. "By the time you had then got ready to leave and driven here the mint should have dissipated."

Wilson avoided his eyes.

"Which means" The diagnostician continued, "That you must have had something minty in the car…which means you knew you were planning to kiss me. OMG! Wilson has a crush!"

"No." Wilson interjected, patiently, "I happen to be an extremely hygienic person, unlike some people" He added pointedly.

"So why silence me with a kiss?"

"I thought I would go ahead and break all that sexual tension you are always going on about"

Unable to come up with a witty retort, house just reached for the remote, but Wilson held it out of his reach.

"Give me my remote"

"You can have it when I've finished erasing your TiVo"

House had been woken up to the sound of a hair dryer. He rolled his eyes and then rolled over. Then he was re-woken to the smell of toast and coffee and eventually dragged himself out of bed.

When he reached the kitchen his eyes fell on the table set with his breakfast. He swivelled to look into the kitchen.


There was no answer. Shrugging, he grabbed a slice and headed back to the bedroom to get ready.

House joined Wilson at the elevator in PPTH

"You left"

"You were asleep"

"I feel used"

"Of course you do House, this is all about you"

The elevator opened and Wilson stepped in, immediately pressing the doors closed button but quick on the uptake House caught them with his cane. He checked to make sure it was empty apart from Wilson and then hobbled in. Someone tried to follow him, but he pushed them back with his cane explaining

"We need a 'private moment'" He indicated at Wilson with his head "I'm sure you understand" He added sarcastically as the doors closed.

"I'm curious"

"I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why are you curious?"

"I was wondering if essence of mint was very different from essence of Wilson"

"You can go on wondering, House" Said Wilson leaving the elevator and heading for his office.

"You're breaking my heart" House said dramatically clutching his chest, and enjoying the look on his duckling's faces. Wilson just rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him.

House pushed his chair back from his desk and glanced across the balcony, but couldn't see the oncologist. The ducklings were trying to explain something, but he had tuned out.

"Wilson has a crush!" House interjected.

"How is this relevant?" asked Cameron

"We should go and ask him if it's cancer" House said, grabbing the file Foreman was holding

"We have ruled out cancer"

"Wilson doesn't know that"

He limped out of the office and down the corridor; his minions just looked at each other and followed him.

"I need a consult" House opened with, barging into the oncologist's office.

"I'm sure you don't"

"We don't" Interrupted Foreman

"Told you" Wilson replied returning his eyes to his work.

"Spoil sport" House said, limping over to the x-ray board and hanging up a picture of his patient's chest. "Well?"

Wilson wandered over to look, "It's not cancer"

"How about crushing? You see any crushing going on in there?"

"No crushing, House"

"You absolutely sure?"


"He says there's no crushing"

"We never thought there was" Said Chase, utterly confused as usual but looking very cute.

Later, when Wilson went to check an x-ray he turned on the light to find some one had written 'Wilson Loves House' in a big heart on the screen.

This time he didn't even bother to knock, he just grabbed the spare key and let himself in to House's apartment.

He had spent the whole day listening to whispers and finding unconventional notes everywhere and was well and truly fed up.

"House" He bellowed

"Yes my sweet?" House responded, hobbling around the corner, a fake smile plastered across his face.

"Enough is enough! You're driving me crazy!"

"That's because I'm so unbelievably sexy isn't it"

"Funnily enough – no! It's because I can't work when you keep winding me up! And for the record, I have no wish to discover 'essence of House'"

"Liar" House smirked.

"Goodnight House" Wilson opened the door, but House snapped it back shut with the end of his cane, effectively trapping the other doctor between him and the wall.

"I see three options." Said House, alarmingly close to Wilson's face. "We can sit down and watch TV and act like nothing is going on, you can walk out of here and we never talk again or-"

Without any warning House closed the gap between them and kissed Wilson. He withdrew again, his eyes never leaving the other doctors.

"Or you could stay and not watch TV"

Wilson rolled his eyes and slipped off his jacket, letting it drop to the floor.

House smirked and brought his lips down again.

House was a lot softer than Wilson had imagined, not that he had ever actually imagined doing this. That would be crazy.

It was crazy.

He tried to draw back and tell House to stop, but by opening his mouth he just invited the other man's tongue in, brushing against his teeth and massaging against his tongue. Wilson gave in and kissed back.

"You still taste of mint" House murmured into the other man's mouth. Then he pulled sharply back.

"Were you planning this again?"

"Yes House, of course I was. I came here with the distinct desire to jump your bones" Wilson answered sarcastically.

"Good" House responded, falling into him again, running his hands through Wilson's hair and along his jaw line, and then moving his mouth to scatter kisses down his neck. By the time they reached the sofa House had wrestled the shirt off of Wilson's back and the oncologist had pulled his top up over his head. House collapsed on the cushion and Wilson straddled him, taking his House's face in both his hands and exploring the other man's mouth with his tongue, very aware that House had both hands on his ass and was pulling him closer and closer.

"I'm going to get stubble rash" Wilson mumbled into House's open mouth.

House smirked. "That should be fun to explain…"