I don't own Ashes to Ashes
Not the first and not the last – just my own interpretation about how THE KISS should happen....
You know there's gunna be smut.
He didn't know how he'd found himself here; one minute they'd been drinking, mourning, grieving, and then the next- the next she'd clasped his hand, tears in her eyes, and led him up the stairs to her flat without a word...
He hadn't been here for so long, it felt bizarre, foreign, distant; his last time here, he'd felt all over again that sickening, cold, plunging feeling in the pit of his stomach that said he was going to lose her, that she was going to die...
But there she was, holding his hand, shaking with tears, clinging to him like she didn't hate him, like underneath it all she maybe – just maybe – trusted him, even just a little bit...
"Gene- Gene, I have to- I have to tell you... I'm- I need to-!"
He didn't want to hear it; whatever it was, he knew it would stop them, knew a moment later she'd start yelling, screaming, demanding everything, nothing... anything.
He couldn't bear it; a moment later he was cupping her face, stroking tears away with fingers that trembled, his eyes boring into her own as he tried to show her everything he felt for her... and found himself failing miserably.
"Bolly," he murmured softly. She didn't stop; she was shaking her head, mumbling, rambling, practically incoherent... "Alex," he whispered, tightening his hands slightly and tilting her head slightly upwards, closer to his own...
And he shouldn't have; he knew he shouldn't have the moment her perfume wafted into his nostrils, the moment those hazel eyes locked with his own and her hand grasped for purchase on his shoulder, the moment her rasping sobs stopped and she stilled; he knew it was a mistake...
But then she was coming closer, lips parted, wet cheeks shining, eyelids fluttering closed; she was so close now, he could smell her breath, practically taste the wine she'd finished downstairs, see the slight crack in her lip where she'd bitten so hard to stop herself crying...
And against his own wishes, against all that he knew about how wrong this was, he knew he was moving closer too, wetting his lips as her own came fractionally nearer to them, so close he could nearly taste them, parting even further as she tilted her head slightly to the side, her breath hitching, his eyes closing... And then she snorted, convulsing painfully, and he knew the moment was gone.
Fresh sobs streaked down her cheeks, and instantly she'd buried her face in his neck, clinging to him almost painfully. Gene bit back a groan, acknowledging all too firmly how tragically close he'd just been to kissing her, tasting her, knowing her... With a slight, nervous chuckle, he lifted her head again, unthinkingly smoothing a hand through her hair as she sobbed all the more.
"Bols," he mumbled, crinkling his brow at the sight of her make-up stained face. "You might wanna mop yer face up; looks like a spastic fireman's been attackin' you with his hose." She smiled, a watery smile that made Gene's heart tighten in his chest, and then she'd drawn away, swiping at her eyes and sniffing slightly as she nodded.
"D'you want a dri-?"
Gene cut her off, turning her gently towards the bedroom and pushing her lightly in the shoulder. "I can find it, Bols," he muttered. "Get yerself cleaned up, 'ey?"
She glanced over her shoulder at him, managed a small smile, then moved into the bedroom; Gene could still hear her crying in the next room, and had to fight back a frightening urge to comfort her, before heading into the kitchen and finding the whiskey.
He was still in the kitchen when she'd finished, and he didn't realize that she was done at all until he heard music, heard her walk into the kitchen, felt her stand at his shoulder and reach for the whiskey he'd poured out for her...
When he looked at her, he half-smiled; she'd cleaned her face, reapplied her makeup, and brushed her hair. Tears still glistened slightly in her eyes, but they didn't fall as she met his gaze, as she swallowed the whiskey down and gently bit at her lower lip. Gene swallowed too, taking a large gulp himself, then moving to refill his glass, feeling a sudden wave of tentative awkwardness as Alex watched him; the moment he reached for the bottle, Alex reached out, stilling his hand and pushing the bottle gently away.
"Bols," Gene murmured, staring at her small, warm hand as it folded around his own, as her fingers entwined with his... "I should-"
"Stay," Alex whispered, looking up into his eyes, gaze pleading and desperate as her hand tightened on his own.
He gulped, remembering all too clearly the moment in his office, the moment when he'd spoken that exact same word, the moment she'd stayed with him and waited for a traitor – waited for Chris... And she'd only think he was a total twonk if he didn't stay now. He stared at her hand, felt it tighten around his own, and then a moment later he'd nodded, and she was leading him into the living room, her hand warm, nervous, and tentative. He let her lead the way, listened as the track changed on the record player, felt waves of indecision rolling off her...
"Gene," she whispered, turning back to him and cupping his face suddenly, her tongue wetting her lips. He tried not to stare too hard, tried not to think about how dangerously close he had come to touching her lips and tongue with his own. "I need to know... I have to know... If I want to get out of here, I need to-!"
"Y'know, Bols," Gene murmured, swallowing slightly as her thumb caressed his cheek. "You're always on about leavin' – goin' somewhere, buggerin' off home..." his hand found hers again, fingers intertwining as his other hand found her waist. "You could transfer, if you really wanted..."
"You don't want to," he stated softly... Indecision suddenly descended on his features, and then he swallowed. "Do you?"
She looked at him, staring into his eyes as though terrified, uncertain, nervous... Then she looked away, pulling back and sinking into the sofa, her knees drawn up to her chest; Gene swallowed, clenching his fingers into his palms for a few moments before sighing, rubbing a hand into his hair and gulping awkwardly, trying to think of what to tell her.
"Sometimes, I think I don't," she said eventually. "But others, I- Gene, I can't stay... I can't... it's not-"
"Ain't that easy," Gene murmured, nodding slowly. For a moment he waited, saying nothing, and then added, almost nervously, "I'm not the enemy, Alex; whatever you might think... I'm not." He watched her, carefully, then sighed, turning towards the door and making to leave.
"I know..." She whispered softly. "I just- I just want to know what happened."
Gene turned back to her, watching as she rested her chin on her knees, biting her lip. He hesitated, his fingers frozen over the handle of the door, and then he swallowed, knuckles cracking as he ground his jaw slightly. "Bols, I-"
"It doesn't have to be now," Alex whispered, standing up and walking towards him almost nervously, reaching out to him with hands that shook and grabbing a fistful of his sleeve as she moved closer. "Just promise me, Gene, that someday – someday soon – you'll tell me the truth..." Her eyes were pleading, eyes shining with unshed tears, and Gene gulped, looking away.
"What's the point, Bolly?" He murmured, glancing into her face and seeing confusion and pain on her features. "You don't trust me."
"I just have to know the truth, Gene," she whispered, stepping closer. "I have to understand; please, just- just trust me..."
"Like you trust me?" He asked softly, eyes flickering between her mouth and eyes. "Snooping in my desk, accusing me of murder... That kind of trust? The sort of trust where Jimbo gets you sniffin' about like a dog, tryin' to set me up?"
She wet her lips, shaking her head, stepping closer, gently resting her head against Gene's cheek, whispering softly, her breath teasing across the flesh of his neck; he stiffened, hand finding her waist and squeezing tight against his own will, swallowing hard as she warmed his skin, as she spoke softly, hypnotically, quoting lyrics that, by all rights, were as gay as a Christmas tree, but that somehow drew him in, stopping him from pulling away as she whispered softly in his ear.
"I bought a ticket to the world... but now I've come back again..." Her hand slid into his hair, forehead pressed into his cheek as she willed him to believe her, to listen... When he didn't answer, she spoke again, softly, quietly, as though scared to do so. "I have to know what happened to Sam, Gene," she whispered, "but not for Keats... For me; for the truth..."
Gene swallowed, senses filled with the scent of her, the sound of her voice, the touch of her hand... "Bols, I-!"
She cut him off with a shake of the head. "Please, Gene... Not now..."
He swallowed, and then nodded, and a moment later Alex was pulling back and taking him swiftly by the hand; Gene didn't resist, following as she moved over to the record player, taking off the needle and switching the record.
When she turned back to him, she reached for his other hand, and Gene blanched.
"You are bloody joking me!" He exclaimed, eyebrows knitting together as Alex smiled, glancing down at the floor as she shook her head, fingers twining with his even as he remained rooted to the spot.
"No," she whispered, "please?"
"I'm in the police force, not bloody Riverdance!" Gene protested, grimacing with disgust.
Alex rolled her eyes, watching as Gene grimaced in distaste. "Dancing in a private room is not going to put you in the West End; and I promise, I won't tell anybody."
"Gene Hunt doesn't dance," he growled softly, even as she moved his hand to her waist and rested her own on his shoulder. "I drink, I smoke, and I bash bent scum, but I do not bloody dance!"
"That's lovely," she murmured, swaying gently and raising her eyebrows suggestively. "Am I going to do this by myself?"
"Two minutes ago you wanted me to tell you the bloody truth," Gene muttered, his eyes narrowed. "And when I do you try an' get me dancin' around like the keebler elf to bloody Spandau Ballet!"
"I'm not asking you to do the Viennese Waltz," she answered, stepping closer, gently kneading his shoulder with her fingers as she swayed gently. "Please...?"
He swallowed, glancing down at her, noting the fact he could see the curve of her breast, see her chest rising and falling, feel her breath against his face... "Bols, I'd rather just 'ave a-"
"Gene," Alex whispered, her face coming closer, her breath hitching as she squeezed at his hand. "Please trust me..."
He felt his chest tighten, felt his breathing quicken, and then, for some unsightly, horrific and frankly inexplicable reason, he was dancing; well, maybe not dancing, he thought. Swaying was probably more appropriate- swaying like a giant nancy - a nancy who wasn't even bloody drunk.
"Bols," he mumbled. "You tell anyone and I'll bloody kill you..."
"I won't," she whispered, closing her eyes as she shifted closer. He wet his lips, eyes flickering from mouth, to eyes, to tits – oh god, her tits... were they getting closer? He flicked his eyes back up and blinked, finding her mouth within an inch of his, her perfume in his nose...
"So you trust me?" He murmured, eyes fluttering almost closed as she moved slightly closer to him, her head nodding fractionally as she kept swaying.
"I trust you to tell me the truth," she whispered, wetting her lips. Gene swallowed, knowing what she meant in an instant; she didn't trust that he was innocent.
"I want you to know," he mumbled, keeping his eyes shut as he spoke, not wanting to see the questions he knew would burn in the depth of her gaze.
He felt her squeeze at his hand, felt her squeeze at his shoulder, felt her breath hot against his lips, and his eyes flickered open, briefly meeting hers as she moved closer, hand touching against his neck and slipping into his soft blonde hair, still swaying... And then she was almost kissing him, nose brushing against his, lips parting again; his heart hammered in his chest, hand tightening on her waist, and her lips touched against his own like a feather, teasing and nervous as she moved closer, chest touching his own...
For a moment, he didn't respond, feeling his breath hitch and his chest clench, but then she was kissing him - really kissing him; her hand drew his head closer, sucking gently on his lower lip and swiping gently with her tongue, and then instantly he knew he was lost.
Gene sighed softly, drawing her more tightly into his chest as his mouth moved against hers, his kiss becoming quickly more insistent as his arms wrapped around her back, lifting her into him as she let out a soft moan. He turned her around swiftly, pressing her into the wall as the tenderness abated, quickly becoming desperate, needy, heated...
"Gene," she whispered softly, hands swiftly finding his shirt buttons and pushing them free, breath hot against his mouth as her fingers found hot flesh, rubbing his shoulders as he lifted her up the wall, hand pushing beneath her blouse as her legs wrapped around his back. His hand cupped her breast gently, squeezing lightly as his tongue moved gently against her own. Her fingers were deft, opening his shirt and pushing it quickly from his shoulders, murmuring softly as he pulled her shirt over her head. Her hips pressed up into his own, grinding teasingly for what felt like an age, until he gasped against her mouth.
"Sofa?" He murmured, drawing back only briefly, hand in her hair, hips pinning her to the wall. He saw the indecision, saw her glance towards the bedroom, and for a moment, he wondered if she would throw him out entirely, because there was no way that look was a good sign... Then she nodded, pulling his mouth back to hers.
"Sofa," she whispered softly against his lip, cupping his face and kissing him firmly. He felt himself sigh, felt a slight twinge of disappointment, knowing without question exactly what she meant; the bed was too personal, too delicate – she couldn't let him in until she knew it all... He understood, but it didn't make it any easier, even as he walked her to the sofa, lowering her gently as his mouth moved over hers.
"Alex..." he murmured, gently brushing his nose across her cheek. "Christ, Alex..." his lips found her neck, gently sucking and caressing as he slid his hand to her waist, finding the zip of her trousers and slipping it down, hand easing gently below. Her hands worked the buckle of his belt, unbuttoning gently, easing open the zipper and stroking under the waistband, brushing his erection before moving her hands, kneading his arse eagerly, pulling him closer to her and urging her hips up into his hands...
"Gene," Alex whispered, turning her head and trying to capture his lips. "Gene, I-"
"I need you to trust me," he murmured, gently pressing his mouth to hers as his fingers eased into her knickers, stroking her gently as his eyes locked with hers, the other hand pushing her trousers down, awkwardly tugging them off one foot and then abandoning them, crawling back up her body, snapping off her underwear, fingers of his other hand still buried within her. "Can't tell you the truth if you won't trust me..."
She nodded, swallowing hard as she pressed her lips to his throat. "I trust you..."
He watched her, fingers stilling within her for a moment as he shifted over her, lips moving to within an inch of her own as he breathed heavily. "You don't..." he murmured softly after a few moments, sucking her lip gently as he pushed his fingers deeper, causing her to gasp slightly as he went on. "But you have to..."
"I do..." she whispered, eyes closed tight as she pushed up at him, hands tightening on his arse as she fought to capture his mouth. "I trust you, I-"
He kissed her, tongue plundering her mouth as he squeezed gently on her breast, stroking her clit with his thumb and groaning as her hands pushed his trousers and boxers down, grasping his length in her warm hand as she hooked her leg around his waist.
"Alex..." he groaned softly, nibbling at her lip, pressing his hips into hers and growling slightly as she stroked him with one hand, leaving the other on his back as she pulled him forwards. The tip of his length brushed her inner thigh, and a moment later she was whimpering her frustration as Gene withdrew his fingers suddenly, pressing his mouth firmly to hers as he pushed her legs further apart, one hand tugging her wrist away whilst the other danced across the crease of her thigh.
"Trust me," he groaned, twisting his hand into hers and squeezing almost painfully as he positioned himself between her legs; he didn't give her time to answer, pushing into her a moment later with a harsh growl that tore from his throat.
Alex's hands tightened on his back, nails digging harshly into his skin as she let out a whimper of pleasured surprise; Gene simply froze, pressing his face into her neck as he tried to memorize everything- the feel of her; so hot, wet, inviting... the smell of her; sweat, arousal, perfume, shampoo... the taste on his lips as he gently tongued the hollow at the base of her throat; salty, warm, almost vanilla-like in flavour...
"Gene..." Alex's whisper was like silk trailed across his ears, and his hand gripped her waist tightly as he gently kissed up her neck to the shell of her ear.
"Bols..." he murmured softly, returning his lips to her skin and sighing as her hand slipped to his neck, stroking up its column with gentle fingers.
She shivered, clinging tighter to him and closing her eyes as one strong arm slid beneath her back, moving him slightly within her and making her gasp with delight. His lips slid sensuously along her jaw line, leaving her trembling as his hand squeezed at hers, and she was struck with the overwhelming realization that this felt right; right, in a way that she couldn't have imagined. His touch, his smell, his voice, the warmth of his body pressed into hers... Right.
"Gene..." she whispered, stroking his hair gently, "Gene, please, I-"
He shook his head, turning his head and capturing her lips, kissing her softly as he wrapped both arms around her, shifting slightly above her and gasping as he moved gently within her, tongue slipping gently across her own. "Trust me," he groaned softly, pushing himself deeper, his breath hot against her ear as she tightened her legs around him, urging her hips against his and gasping as he unclasped her bra, his mouth falling to the gentle curves of her breasts and kissing softly. One hand tugged the bra from her body, dropping it on the floor at the side of the sofa; she was dimly aware of his soft whisper of "beautiful," vaguely noticed the slight groan as he urged himself deeper when he felt her clench around him, but mostly she was overcome with emotion, with feeling, with the sudden, inexplicable need to apologise, to trust him...
"Bols," he whispered, moving both hands to cup her face, holding himself up on his elbows as his hips pushed gently against her own. "Bolly..."
Her hand slipped to his cheek, lips following the line of his jaw, the plains of his cheek, and the creases of his forehead. "I know," she whispered. "I trust you, Gene; please..."
He groaned softly, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers as he pushed deeper, harder... "Not about trust though, is it?" He grunted, gasping as her other hand clawed at his back, pulling him closer as she whimpered slightly at the feel of him, the sensation of being so deeply filled.
"It is.." she gasped. "It is... I trust you, Gene, I-"
"It's not," he hissed, turning her face slightly to the side and biting down hard upon her neck, thrusting deeper. "Truth... You want- oh God!" He broke off slightly, gasping as her hand slipped between them, rubbing his balls, stroking her clit, teasing his base... Her mouth was on his a second later, and she'd pushed him back against the sofa, moaning softly as he went faster, his teeth and tongue clashing with hers as he urged her onto his length.
"I want you..." she whispered. "I want you..."
"Do you?" He growled, nipping at her throat and flipping her straight onto her back once again. There was nothing gentle about his touch now, his hand cupping her breast tightly as he thrust into her, hissing his pleasure as he ground out his words. "Or do you just want the truth?"
She was whimpering, clenching around him as her fingernails drew blood on his back, gouging lines as she clung onto him, trying to keep coherence in her thoughts when all she wanted was for him to keep going, keep fucking her, screwing her, doing wonderful things to her body because he knew she'd let him, knew she'd wanted him to since day one... "I- I want- I want y-!"
"I want you, Alex," he whispered, hands moving to her arse as he thrust into her again. "Never bloody stopped..."
"No," Alex whimpered, shaking her head, then nodding alternately, then whimpering again as she went on. "Yes, I want you... I want-!"
He didn't let her finish, plundering her mouth fiercely as he plunged into her, hissing and groaning as he felt her tighten, felt her go rigid as she lost control, felt her silenced scream as it vibrated into his mouth, her whole body thrashing against him as he thrust once, twice, three times, releasing as he went, her name swallowed by her desperate kiss as he collapsed over her, his limbs trembling, body spent.
"Alex," he gasped softly, drawing his mouth from hers and pushing his face into her neck. "Alex... Please just- just trust me..."
Her hand was in his hair, lips on his forehead, and she nodded, gasping for breath as she whispered her reply; "I do."
He could only nod, breathing still ragged, face burrowing into her throat, nose rubbing teasing patterns against her flesh. Her fingers stroked through his locks of blonde hair, nose inhaling the scent of sweat, cigarettes, alcohol and Old Spice, and a few minutes later she spoke, her lips still pressed to his forehead.
"Gene," she whispered, closing her eyes slightly. "I need to-"
"I know," he murmured, nodding and wrapping both arms more firmly around her, lips against her throat. "I know..." For a moment he was silent, and Alex didn't press him, instead moving to rest her cheek against his head, still trembling beneath him. Then suddenly he spoke, lips pressed briefly to her pulse beforehand. "Have dinner with me tomorrow," he murmured, hand stroking her back.
Her heart hammered, and she nodded, gently pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Truth?" She whispered softly.
He nodded, kissing her lightly but making no effort to move to look at her. "Yeah... Tomorrow.."
"What shall I wear?" She murmured, gently rubbing the harsh lines of red that stretched across his shoulders, a small smile on her lips as she felt his reluctant smirk.
"Somethin' nice," he answered, kissing her gently.
"Not slutty or slinky?" Alex teased. She felt him pause, could practically see the cogs whirring in his brain, then he shrugged.
"Somethin' nice," he mumbled, kissing her again. "If you can still bear to look at me afterwards, you can 'ave somethin' slutty underneath."
Not sure if it really fits (I'm certain it'll end up being totally AU in relation to order etc) but I couldn't resist.
Hope it was alright and stuck in character-ish...
Mage of the Heart