"I can't explain myself at all… I swear, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. It's… it's wrong, to feel like this, isn't it? He….he rips me apart. It's like he's just using me and… What do you think, Blaise?" came the soft voice of the seventh year Slytherin who was currently sitting on his four poster in the boy's dorm
Blaise Zabini looked at his best friend of seven years and his face softened, unable to be upset with the boy any longer. He had come to talk to one Draco Malfoy an hour or more ago to confront him about his behavior of late. Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince, had seemed so distant lately and looked as if he had lost a lot of weight and as if he was tired constantly. After ranting for a bit, Draco had finally cracked and had spilled out the whole story to Blaise and Blaise had slowly come to realize that this really wasn't some joke that Draco was pulling on him.
"Well, I guess I can see why you'd be feeling this way , Draco. He did save your life. You're lucky that you made it out okay," Blaise said softly.
"Okay? Blaise, I'm fucking blind. Okay? Don't try to act like it didn't happen. That fiendfyre blasted right into my eyes and now I'm blind. It's not going away and it's not going to get better sometime in the future. That's the way I am for life. My feelings have nothing to do with Harry saving me or not. It has nothing to do with it at all," Draco practically shouted.
Blaise felt himself shrinking back as his friends words washed over him. He realized that everything Draco was saying was true. Everyone had been walking circles around Draco since the Battle of Hogwarts had taken place a month ago. The Malfoy heir had been feeling useless because he still hadn't gotten a hold of getting around without being able to see where he was going. Draco had taken to staying in his dorm and he would have nothing to do with anyone. The only person he had seen on more than one occasion was Harry Potter and a house elf by the name of Winky, who had started coming around the Malfoy boy as he was the only one who reminded her of Dobby.
The fiendfyre that Crabbe had summoned that faithful day in the Room of Requirement a month ago had been responsible for the destruction of one of the evilest of creations and Draco Malfoy's eyesight. As the full story came out, Blaise had become increasingly horrified about the thought of what he had believed so strongly in the past and the man he had felt had the right of it. Fiendfyre, being a powerful inferno of destruction, had caused more damage than anyone could have thought possible. Draco would be forever blind because there was no way to correct what the magical fire had done. He would no longer be able to fly, no longer be able to find the snitch. He would no longer be able to see anything. Blaise could not imagine what Draco was going through and he found himself desperately pulling on strings the few times he had been permitted entrance into the Slytherin Prince's self-imposed prison.
"I know, Draco. I know," was all he felt he could say to that but it seemed to be enough for Malfoy because his shoulders slumped and started shaking. To Blaise's great surprise, he realized that Draco Malfoy was crying. It shocked him greatly and he couldn't think of anything to say until suddenly Draco spoke again, seeming determined and to be filled with a new purpose.
"Blaise… Whenever I think about Harry, it's like the walls are going to close in on me. It's like I can't breathe. When he comes to visit me, a weight is lifted up off my chest. He makes everything clear. When I'm with him, it doesn't matter that I'm blind. It doesn't matter that I can't see because he sees enough for both of us. With Harry, I don't need to put up a front because he knows, Blaise. He knows better than anyone what I'm going through," he said fiercely.
Blaise just looked at him, taken aback by a sudden realization. Draco Malfoy did not just have subtle feeling for Harry Potter. He was in love with him, something that seemed as if it should be wrong, as if it should never have happened. That wasn't the case though, he thought, it wasn't the truth at all. It seemed… Right. Almost as if it was supposed to have been from the beginning. Swallowing back his stupid prejudice and feelings on that subject, he spoke to him.
"Draco, do you want me to go get Harry?" he asked.
Draco leveled his head towards him and said simply, "Yes."
With a nod, Blaise Zabini unwound his legs from underneath him and swept out of the dormitory, out of the Slytherin common room, and into the corridor. It was a long way up to the Gryffindor tower and he ignored the stares of the few people he passed. They knew where he was heading, they knew he was on his way to the Tower. They, of course, had no idea why. He didn't care, though. Blaise Zabini had long ago gotten used to what people thought about him, the whispered words said behind his back. He had gotten used to ignoring them. Upon arrival to the Tower, he started pounding on the entrance, ignoring the protests from the Fat Lady in the portrait. Finally, the entrance opened up to reveal none other than Hermione Granger.
"What do you want, Zabini?" the girl questioned, crossing her arms.
"Could you please get Potter for me? I need him," he asked politely to which her eyes widened a bit.
"Why would you need Harry?" she demanded.
"Sorry, let me rephrase that. Draco needs Harry. Now," he calmly said, not being deterred by his fellow classmate.
"Oh," she said gently, her eyes wide. It occurred to him suddenly that Harry must have already told his mates what was going on. A movement behind Granger caught his attention and he wasn't surprised to see Harry Potter walk up behind the Gryffindor girl.
"It's okay, Hermione. We'll finish our talk later, alright?" he spoke softly, touching her arm. Hermione Granger nodded and moved aside. They watched the door shut on her and then Potter turned to Blaise.
"Is he okay?" he asked urgently.
Blaise smirked slightly and looked at Harry out of the corner of his eye, saying, "Oh, he's quite alright, actually."
"Then what does he need me for?" Harry demanded.
"I'm not at liberty to say," Blaise answered calmly.
They moved at a fast pace through the halls and soon were at the Slytherin Common Room. Blaise spoke the password (Severus Snape, appropriately enough) and they were inside. A few of the slackers stirred, shocked to see Harry Potter in their midst, but didn't say anything. The war had put them all down a few pegs and the mood inside the common room had been more melancholy than anything the past month or so since the day of the end of the Second Wizarding War. Upon entrance to the dormitory, Blaise stood back against the doorframe and watched as Harry stood awkwardly in front of Draco.
"Zabini said you needed me?" he asked more than said.
Draco simply nodded, staring at Harry. Blaise had the feeling that he should be leaving them alone but he just… He couldn't. Draco had been his best friend for seven year, had seen him through a lot of hard times and Blaise wanted to return the favor, even if it was just by being there to make sure nothing happened that would cause him more pain than he already was in. So he stayed, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, watching as the two stared at each other. Even he could see how Draco's face relaxed, how he turned his body to face Potter.
"Harry… After all of this, I've learned that it's not so much what I need but what I don't want to need. When you saved me in the Room of Requirement that day…. It's like something came over me. I only feel… right, if that's the word, when I'm with you. You make things clear to me. I don't need to see when I have you. Everything that is inside of me, all of my suicidal thoughts… They vanish. All the darkness disappears and it's like I'm clean again, you know? It's only you, Potter. Only you that makes me feel this way," Draco said, just looking at him, not speaking desperately like Blaise had thought he would. He was all calm and quiet and Blaise felt his mouth drop open, unable to explain to himself just what he was seeing and hearing. Of course, he had heard Draco say this just moments ago but it seemed… So much more real with him saying it to Potter. Speaking of… Potter just stood there, a soft smile on his face, as he appeared to contemplate what to say back.
"What took you so long, you stupid ferret?" he teased gently.
"I dunno. I guess I was blind all along," Draco answered back with a straight face, seemingly serious until he cracked a smile.
"It's the same for me, Draco. Only you," Harry Potter told Draco Malfoy.
Blaise turned into the hall and shut the door behind him quietly, thinking it was time the two of them were able to be alone.
Author's Note: This was written for the Quotes Challenge. The prompt was "I can't explain myself at all"- All American Rejects It Ends Tonight. As you can see, I used the whole song, basically. No copyright infringement is intended and all recognizable parts of the story are owned by someone else. There were 1621 words in this alone! I've never written a 'slash' story before, so I hope that was okay. As explained in the story, it takes place a month after the battle and Draco was blinded by the fiendfyre. Well, until next time! Tchao.