Say hello to another random crack fic I'm starting! XD I just can't help myself with these but I know you'll all enjoy at least a few of these! XD

So, hopefully Edward will survive all of this random crap thanks to Winry and I came up with this while chugging soda. So, here's to you caffeine highs as I write yet another crack fic!

Note: Each new thing is after Edward goes back to get repairs by Winry. He just screws up his arm that much. XD

It was automail tune up time for Edward Elric and this time he wasn't particularly excited about it. Especially due to the fact that his mechanic had gotten hold of new blueprints.

"Come on Edward! You'll be the first one with this stuff!"

"Just fix my arm!"

"Fine you jerk!!!! Alchemy geek…."

He did not expect however to be a guinea pig.

"Okay Edward, if you ever are falling, or get stuck in water, or anything like that then press this button."

"Why that button?"

"JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY ALRIGHT?!"

And the automail testing commenced

1. Floatation device

"Boss, what's the new button on the automail?"

"No clue, Winry put it on."

"Well, let's try it!"

"Breda, I don't think you should……"

WHOOSH!

"Your arm just deployed an inflatable raft."

"This thing is huge! It takes up nearly half the room!"

"Morning………….why the hell is there a floatation raft in my office?"

2. Car Alarm

Edward only bumped his right arm into Mustang when sirens started wailing………from his arm.

"PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM THE ALCHEMY SHRIMP. PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM THE ALCHEMY SHRIMP. PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM THE ALCHEMY SHRIMP PLEA-"

"PLEASE MAKE THIS FUCKING THING SHUT UP!!!"

"I don't know Fullmetal, this is good advertisement for you."

"SHUT UP!"

3. Bubble Wand

"Oh crap, she installed another button."

-pokes button-

"Bubbles?"

"Yay! Bubbles!"

"Al, come on! A 6 ft tall suit of armor shouldn't go skipping down a road with a kitten and chasing after bubbles! It's not manly at all!!!"

"Neither is you with your long braided golden hair and you blowing the bubbles in the first place!!!!!!!!"

"SHUT UP AL!"

More randomness to come……..