Chapter 4

"Sirius get off that bloody bed," Lily shouted. "James is in the shower, we don't have long!"

"Did you know that ten minutes of jumping on the bed can burn off 734 calories?" said Sirius, as he jumped up and down on Remus' bed.

"That is a very specific number for a fact that is total bollocks," said Lily. "If you don't stop jumping on that bed I will hex you..."

"Fine, fine, fine," said Sirius dramatically. "What are we talking about hot stuff?"

"I hope you're talking to him, not me," said Lily.

"You know it's possible he is, he called me honey pie at lunch," said Remus.

"And you loved it," said Sirius winking at him.

"We are talking about James' birthday," said Lily. "It is in two weeks and we have to decide how we are going to celebrate."

"Me, Moony and Wormtail will vacate the room, and you shag his brains out all day," said Sirius. "That will keep a smile on his face until next year."

"Yeah that is a given, and I would appreciate it if you vacated the room at night," said Lily.

"What about...there is a Chudley Cannon game on the day of his birthday," said Remus.

"We need permission for that," said Lily.

"Nah it's a Hogsmade weekend," said Sirius. "We can go during the day."

"Okay then," said Lily. "I'll go and get tickets tonight."

"Fine," said Sirius. "Is that it? The water is off."

"Yeah, I'll take care of the tickets," said Lily.

"Okay," said Remus. "Just one little problem, do you remember the little tiff you and Prongs had last week?"

"Yeah," said Lily.

"Well how exactly do you expect to get out of this castle and into Hogsmade for tickets tonight without him?" he said.

"Oh," said Lily. "I didn't think of that. James will just have to deal with it, his possessive habits can't be healthy."

"I'll come with you," said Sirius. "Prongs is masochistic, he will be okay if I go with you."

"And you are going to spin that, how exactly?"

"Leave James to me," said Lily.

"What are you going to do with me?" asked James. He was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing just a towel, still wet from his shower.

"Steal your towel," grinned Sirius.

"Hmmm," smiled Lily. She loved the sight of her handsome, toned boyfriend half naked, grinning like a little boy.

"Oh how disgusting," said Sirius. "You two need to learn how to control those hormones."

"I have homework to do," said Remus. "So do you!"

"Oh I'm coming," said Sirius getting to his feet. "Somehow I don't think I will be the only one," he called over his shoulder, just as Lily threw a pillow at the door.

"So..." said James.

"So..." said Lily.

"What was all that about?" he asked.

"Sirius' idea of an innuendo?" said Lily. "Not much of an innuendo, there is nothing subtle of about him."

"I believe you told them to leave me to you," said James. "Something is going on."

"Nothing is going on," said Lily. "Your hair looks good wet."

"It's the only time it will lie flat."

"I like it," she said. She reached out and stroked the side of his face. "You should definitely wear a towel more often too."

"I'll see what I can do," he said kissing the tip of her nose. "So what exactly were you planning with those two?"

"I'm thinking about dating all the three of you, I will consider Peter when he starts to bathe more often," she said.

"Good plan," said James. "Although neither of them are anywhere near as good in bed as me."

"You sure about that?"

"Positive," said James confidently.

"Fine I shall use you for sex, Remus for intellectual stimulation and Sirius for entertainment, what more could I girl want?"

"That is true, together we have the whole package," said James. "Now I will just have to find some girls, to watch quidditch with, maybe another for some additional sex and..."

"You are not funny!" said Lily crossing her arms looking furious. "You can go and find some slag to drop her knickers, see if I care!"

"You are allowed to joke about dating my mates, but I can't mention anything about other girls?" said James. "That is double standards!"

"I am aware of that," said Lily. "But when I joke about Remus and Sirius, it is funny because it will never actually happen, it is an impossibility. But you were never short of willing sluts before we got together."

"Oh come on, you dated too!"

"Not the volume that you did!"

"Quantity is not important."

"So quality is!"

"This is ridiculous!" James groaned.

"Is it?"

"Yes! I am not interested in anyone else," he said. "You know that!"

"Yes but you have the option," said Lily sulkily.

"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously.

"A little," said Lily.

"You are ridiculous," he said. "I have wanted you since I was fourteen."

"One day I will find out why," she said.

"I could list them...but we don't a few years," he said.

"You are very charming when you're almost naked," she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said. "I should go and dry off, you're going to get all wet."

"I already am," she grinned wickedly. "And I want that towel!"

"Oh...Okay," said James a little dumbly as Lily pushed him back onto the bed...

"James?" said Lily as they got dressed for lunch.

"Yeah," he said as he pulled on a shirt.

"I have to go out tonight, so you'll be on your own, okay?" She said casually.

"Where are you going?"

"Hogsmade," she said. "I have to pick up a few things."

"I'll come with you then."

"Nope," she said. "I need to go without you."

"Why?" he demanded.

"I just do," she said simply. "Sirius said you were a masochist, I don't think you are. But I am willing to take him with me, if someone finds his collar and lead."

"Can't you just pick up these things during the day?"

"No," she said. "Time limit, night is the easiest time to go."


"I am not asking for your permission, James," she said sharply. "I am letting you know that this is happening whether you like it or not, you will be staying in this castle tonight. I will be gone for an hour and you have a charms essay due in tomorrow."

"Take Sirius with you then?" he said.

"Fine," she said. "It's called compromise James, and it is no reason to sulk."