First of all, no, I haven't died.

Sorry I haven't updated anything in AGES. So, as an apology, here's a comedy/graphic/oneshot for you.

Just to keep your taste buds tingling.



Oh, fuck.

That body. The way he makes his slick, tan skin glisten in the dim light. He knows it turns me on. He knows it.

My breath lodges in my throat as his eyes meet mine. Those gorgeous, crystal eyes.

"Sasuke…" his full, pink lips form my name and his husky voice protrudes across the bedroom.

Fucking hell. I want him. I want him badly.

He comes closer, ever so slowly; agonizingly slowly. His moist lips part. God, I want to taste them.

He places his hands either side of me. I fidget in the chair. I don't want him to touch me, I want to touch him.

Nevertheless, he crouches onto his knees. He lowers his head and rubs his cheeks smoothly against my clothed knee.

"N-Naruto, wait—" I start to protest, but this is Naruto. He won't go down with just words. My teeth automatically grind against each other when he slides his hand up my shirt.

I love the way he touches me, when he does. When he has the chance. I normally flee before it has anything to do with me. Whether it means going to the bathroom, or to work early, or if I've forgotten something round a friend's house.

His gentle hand slithers across my skin. It makes my body hot, my eyes glitter, and my hands shudder. I want him to touch me more, but I can't. I can't let him.

"Naruto, stop it!" I hiss, but he's already latched onto my pants, releasing the belt, and pulling them down. He reveals me, and he licks his lips.

Oh, shit. I want those lips around me, so badly. His eyes flicker to me and his lips curl into a knowing smile. He thinks he's got me. But he hasn't.

"Naruto, stop it." I order firmly, shoving him away with my hand on his shoulder. "I told you to stop." I immediately leap up from my seat. I need to calm down.

"But, Sasuke!" Naruto whines, dropping his head onto the seat I just left.

"I said no! You're practically forcing me! I don't want this. I'm not ready yet." I tell him., tucking myself back into my pants and belting them up. He throws a huff and rolls onto the floor, staring at the ceiling. I glance over my shoulder and suck in my lips.

I love the way the romantic red of the room reflects against the chandelier and onto his body. His skin absorbs the colour. He looks angelic. Like a work of art, a masterpiece. His skin has that natural glow. You know; that youthful, healthy glow.

I don't care if I'm riding him, or pounding into him. I want him. But I can't have him.

"Sasuke, we've been going out for 6 months, now. You've done everything for me. Can't I at least jack you off?"

I wish. I really do wish, Naruto. But I can't. I can't stain you like that.

"No." I say sternly. Though, I fully understand what he's saying. Whenever Naruto wants a hand-job, a blow-job, or anything else, I'll happily give it to him. I love to see him writhe in ecstasy when I touch him. I'd do anything for that. I enjoy giving pleasure to others more than receiving it, especially to Naruto.

He growls so ferociously that I swing around and think that he's turned into some beast. He sits up, gives me the worst ever glare, and his cheeks flush.

"I want to touch you!" He stands and patrols towards me without any plan of stopping.

"Wait, Naruto, please—" I start protesting again. No! No. I don't want this. I hold my hands up as he presses me against the wall. My hands are rough compared to his silky shoulders. He grunts and buries his gorgeous face in my neck, licking and sucking.

With his free hand, he rubs me eagerly. I am completely thankful to know that he's finally stopped leeching on my neck. But then, he leans back. He gives me the most seductive expression I have ever seen.

His eyes are half-lidded; those blue crystals peeking at me suggestively. His smooth, pink tongue slips out of his mouth and runs along his lower lip. His breath begins to quicken, short moans and grunts sounding through my ears.

His hand dives straight to my dick. Cold fingers grapple greedily at my chest. He squashes me further against the wall to force out a moan.

Which he receives. A feeble bleat comes from my throat. Naruto already looks proud. I bite my lip. No! I feel it already. I'm going to come. I'm going to come.

He pulls out my shaft and pushes back the foreskin excruciating slowly.

I can't hold it any more. My mouth opens and a loud moan fills the room. I let myself go. I fill Naruto's hand with my own white fluid. He's shocked.

Oh, fuck, no. Please, Naruto.

"That was fast." He commented. No shit, Naruto. Just make it worse for me. I push him away and hide my head in my hands, turning my back.

"That's why I don't want you to touch me." My voice cracks. I don't want him to leave me.

"You should have said!" He sounds offended. Maybe I should have said. Now he probably thinks that I don't trust him.

"How could I?" I snarl, tucking myself back into my pants. "Oh yeah, 'Naruto, just wanting to tell you: I come prematurely.' Because that's fucking easy, isn't it?"

"I would have listened to you!" He comes up from behind and snakes his arms apologetically around my body, pulling me close. My expression falls.

"I don't want you to leave me." I explain. I place my hands on top of his and we rock slightly. It's comforting. "I can wine and dine you and treat you like a prince, but when it comes to sex, I get zero points out of ten." A sigh escapes from my lips.

"It doesn't matter. Honestly." He squeezes me tightly. "Just relax, okay?"

Ironically, I immediately tense up. My whole body stiffens in anticipation. "What are you doing?" I ask. I have to know. I hate surprises.

He hushes me with a single peck on my shoulder blade. I love him so much. Unconditionally. Eternally. It's more than physical. He makes me feel what no other had made me feel before, male or female. I want to be with him forever.

His hot breath warms my neck as he lets his hand lunge into my pants for seconds. My libido drives me crazy and I instantly grow hard, and much to Naruto's delight, he strokes me gently.

"Trust me, alright?" The whisper softly glides against my cheek, soothing my thoughts. My knees almost buckle in pleasure. My head falls back and rests on Naruto's shoulder. I can't help but moan.

"Nngh, Naruto, I'm going to come!" My brows furrow and my head shoots upwards. I try to pry his arms off me. I'm so close. He won't release me.

"Naruto!" I wince, ready to shoot. He grips the base of my dick so tightly that I yelp out in pain, but the orgasm comes rolling. "Ahn…" I stammer, eyes closed. It feels amazing. Tingles explode into spasm in my lower abdomen. I almost fly forward, though the support from behind sustains my quivering leg muscles. As soon as it came, it had gone.

I open my eyes and look down.

"Fuck!" I exclaim. I'm still hard! Rock hard! I hear Naruto chuckle that seductive chuckle in my ear.

"Again?" He starts to pump my erection, tight hand massaging it sensually. I feel myself coming close again, but I'm relaxed now. I trust him. The tingles bustle in my stomach.

"Hnn!" A rapid and loud exhale signals my orgasm, and right on cue, my lover grips hard onto the base of my dick again. My body spasms in bliss.

"Oops," Naruto squeaked when he let go of my erection too early. The smallest amount of cum jets out before he re-attaches his hand in a better grip. I don't care if he leaves me like I am now and runs off to bed. What I can't get over my head is his technique. Where did he learn to do this? I thought that once you were a premature, you were always a premature.

"Naruto," I pant out. He hums in reply and puts his hand back to work. His fingers skill over the tip, squeezing gently, driving me absolutely insane. "Where did you learn— nghh," I have to take another deep breath. Nevertheless, Blondie behind me is as calm as ever. I bet his ego is swelling right now. "To do this? Ahnn!"

"What's the matter? Don't you like it?" He teases. I flinch when he leans forward and rests his head on my shoulder, peering down at his work, strands of soft hair eagerly tickling my skin. He sneers proudly.

"Of course I like it. You're – nghh – a-amazing." Long and scarce exhales swirl into rapid, oft pants. Naruto laps this all up, I know he is. I can see his sneer.

"Good!" He barks. "Now…" His hand stops moving. I can't help but whine in gloom of the loss, but then he takes my hand. My hand! Feminine fingers circle around mine, and he moves my hand towards my erection.

"I'll teach you." He whispers into my ear.

With his hand, he moves mine. Back and forth slowly, but tightly.

"I want you to practice for me."

Naruto, I'll do anything for you, but please. Let me come! I feel myself building up again.


He clamps his hand down on mine and crams my fingers over the base of me. With his free hand, he clutches my balls.

I exhale loudly. My needy pants follow after. "Please," I beg him. "I need to…" He releases my hand. I have to release my hand, too. It feels weird standing so close to him with my hand on my dick. It's embarrassing and reminds me of all the times I jacked off to my imagination of him when I was 18.

"Hold it in." He throws a rosy, defiant glare my way and orders firmly. Fuck, dominance suits him. He strides around me and examines me from the front. He pushes me back with his hand until we reach the chair. He slams his hand down and I obey, sitting clueless on the chair. He sits on his knees. "No running away, this time."

Wait. Is he going to—?

"Naruto!" I grunt. Fuck, oh god, shit, damn, hell, motherfucker. I could scream every word under the sun but it would never be able to explain how his lips feel around my dick. I wince; brows furrowed, teeth gritted. He gives me that 'got you!' look and swirls his tongue around the head. I'm going to blow my load just gazing at that expression of his, I swear.

Okay, Sasuke. Calm down. Remember what he taught you, just cup your hands around the base and—

How am I supposed to do that while he's sucking so ferociously on my dick?

His mouth is so warm and wet. And with that, like he can hear my thoughts, he deep throats. I see him wince and I open my mouth to protest, but all that comes out is a moan. That'll just encourage him.

My eyes roll back with pleasure. Hold it in. Tense the muscles, the ones that clench when you orgasm. Come on, Sasuke. If you manage to do this, you'll be in the perfect relationship!

I feel myself coming close, and I close my eyes tight, uttering a short grunt. Naruto's warm hands slither all over me, tracing over my abdomen, – which is tingling right now – my thighs, and of course, my dick.

"Naruto, I'm coming!" I warn him, just in case I shoot on his face. Not that it wouldn't be a bad sight. He pulls back, lips sucking around my shaft for the last time. I wince at the sudden coldness. His mouth is addictive; I want to be back in it.

"You do it." He continues to pump up and down fast, staring at me. Why does he have to look at me? I don't want him to see my face when I—

I try my best to clench the muscles… down there.

Naruto is still pumping, and I hear him stifle a small moan when I breathe out in bliss. He must love giving me pleasure as much as I do to him. I open my eyes slightly to see that he's touching himself, too. I watch his hand move quickly, pre-cum oozing out of the head. The tingling disappears, and my orgasm deteriorates.

"See?" He struggles to say that without moaning, but he's still stroking me as hard as he can. I grit my teeth.

"Naruto…" He throws his head back as I say his name, uttering out a pleasurable moan. I almost come again right off the bat, but then he stops.

"I want to go all the way, Sasuke." He breathes quietly, climbing to his feet. He clambers on top of me, his legs to the side of mine. I lift a hand and press it against his smooth chest.

"Are you sure?" I mutter in his ear. He sinks his face into my neck and sucks gently, swirling his pink tongue over my skin.

"Yes, Sasuke, yes! I need you." Fuck. How could I say no to that?

I trace a shaky hand down his chest and to his dick, wrapping my hand around it. He moans and arches his back, pushing himself into my hand further.

"Tighter, Sasuke!" He orders, and I have no means to disobey. I grip my hand around fiercely and begin pumping, to which Naruto responds gorgeously. "Uh, Sasuke… Annh…"

I watch him move his own hand to his back. After a few seconds, he's moaning even more. What is he doing? Is he… No way. If my dick could get any harder, it would do. His free hand slides to my manhood again. So, I'm stroking him, he's stroking me, but then he's fingering himself. He's moaning over me. He can't even stay still; he's thriving on top of me.

Just the thought of it…



I bite my lip. Do I really want to go all the way with him just yet? Is this the right thing to do? Before I can think over anything else, he takes my erection in his damp hand and slides himself onto it. I hiss at the new 'environment' and heat. Has he done this before? He knows what he's doing, but he said he hasn't been in a relationship before. He's a virgin. I'm his first, he's my first.

He hisses at the pain, and I can't blame him. He's incredibly tight, so what it must feel for him is agony. His bright eyes are shedding tears. My hand clamps around his erection. "Slow down, Naruto, you're hurting." I pant out.

"No, no, I need to find it." He groans, eyes determined. All the while, he's making me feel amazing. And I'm doing the whole hold-it-in thing amazingly, too.

"Find what?" I gasp. I don't have a clue what he's on about. I want him to feel pleasure, not pain. "Naruto… I can't hold it any longer. I don't want to. It feels too good…" I murmur, but his eyes widen.

"Please, hold it!" He starts riding me faster, moving his hips in strange positions. He leans forward, chest crashing onto mine, and then his eyes widen even more, mouth gaping wide. Not a word is uttered from him, but you can see that he wants to scream. His eyes rolls back. Is he in pain?

"Naruto, stop." I order, taking my hands from his dick and placing them on his hips, pushing him down, and to stay down.

"No, I've…" he moans. "I've got it." It? I take my hands from his hips and replace them where they should belong. He opens his eyes. Fuck. I delve onto that delicious pair of lips of his and suck. He takes advantage and plays with my tongue. His hot breath feels agitating against my heated cheeks, but I don't care.

I can't hold it. I tighten my abdomen as I feel myself release, continuous shoots pulsing throughout Naruto's body. Panting, he's riding out the orgasm for me. He has to come quick before I go soft, but without a doubt, I'd be up again in no time if he keeps giving me these expressions and noises.

"Sasuke—" With one last up-down ride, he pushes himself far down onto my dick, so that none of it is visible. He cries out with a delectable moan. I lean forward and lightly nip his neck with my teeth, sucking and swirling my tongue across his skin as he did to me. He pants and crashes onto my chest, placing his chin on my shoulder.

"That was amazing."

I can't reply because I'm so enticed with it all. I just fucked Naruto. The man of my dreams. I can still feel my ex-erection twitching with delight inside of him.

"I should go and clean up." He announces, just about to lift himself off, but I grab his arms and pull him into a hug. Partly, I didn't want to face the cold again, because Naruto's ass is so warm. But the other part, I just wanted to embrace.

"I really, really like you, Naruto. I love you so much, you know that, right?"

He gives me that knowing smile.

"I know you do. Ditto, 'kay?"

I gently press my lips against his in a chaste sense, feeling somewhat guilty for pounding the hell out of him. "Where did you learn to do all this?" I stroke his blonde tresses. They're damp.

"Haven't you ever watched porn?" He chuckles, patting my shoulder before pulling himself off me. I can't say I'm surprised; Naruto's probably the perviest man out there, let alone his mind-blowing sex techniques. "Next time, we'll watch it together. Though there's no need to. I'll teach you everything you need to know." He winks ever so seductively and pecks my cheek. I watch his backside jiggle into the bathroom.


Oh, fuck.

I love this. Now I need a shower, because I feel so dirty.

Smut rating /10, please? :D