Disclaimer: I don't own.

Starring: Wilbur Turnblad/Velma Von Tussle

Summary: Women like her had tricks that guys like him don't stock on shelves.

Wilbur Turnblad is a simple soul. He loves three things: he loves his baby girl, he loves his wife and he loves his store. He considers himself to be a lucky man that he gets to do what he likes to provide for his little family. He knows others, friends from school days that aren't as fortunate. So Wilbur does his best to keep his head down. Stays out of trouble, smoothes out the arguments that occur between the teenager and the mother and reassures his wife that she is still the apple pie in his eye.

Wilbur has everything he's ever wanted.

Wilbur Turnblad knows that his daughter is a mover and shaker. He thinks it's a good thing. When you try to keep a low profile you tend to miss things and sometimes change is good. You gotta rotate the stock, refresh the prank jar, and switch targets everyonce in a while. It keeps you on your toes. So when she sets out to right wrongs and change the world, why Wilbur couldn't be more proud of her.

Wilbur has accomplished everything he's ever wanted.

Wilbur Turnblad knows that not everybody likes change. Not everybody likes keeping a low profile. Not everybody likes the classic jokes, they prefer maiming and hurting instead of a good laugh had by all. So when she walked in he felt a sliver of ice run down to his toes and he knew that this would not be good. Women like her had tricks that guys like him don't stock on shelves.

Wilbur knows that this little domino effect could take away everything he's gained.

Wilbur Turnblad is a simple soul. But that doesn't mean he's stupid. He knows what she's up to – it's obvious really, in a dress like that and they've never met. He knows this woman's name and how she dislikes his girls. He knows that Tracy is trying to change the world and this harpy is in her way and Wilbur just won't have that. His girls and his jokes are all he's ever wanted. He slips the buzzer on he's hand and hopes that this vampire will get the hint.

Wilbur is the joker yes, but he's no fool.