53 Things You Don't Know About Sookie Stackhouse

Summary: Pam & Eric receive a list about Sookie! Sequel to "55 Things You Don't Know About Eric Northman" and "55 Things You Don't Know about Pam Ravenscroft"

Rating: T for language and suggestion

Author: wicked18writer

Spoilers: There are some references made to books but if you just watch the show you'll get it.

A/N: You may have noticed that I've this fic in the Southern Vampire Mysteries and the True Blood fandom's, that's just to reach fans of each medium, but to do so I've had to slightly alter the titles for to allow me to do so. So here's hoping it hasn't caused anyone too much confusion. Also I'm going down in the number of items on the list so I don't have 6 fic's that start with '55 Things'.

Pam and Eric,

I've noticed that you two have been a little distant towards each other lately. I can't believe you would give each other the cold shoulder over a little list, but I think it is because neither of you can stand being the butt of the others joke. And since this all started with a stupid list, I thought I'd ask Sam and Jason to write one about me, so you could stop being mad at each other and instead get together and have a good laugh at my expense.

The boys agreed to write the list on one condition, I am not allowed to read it before you two do. So expect an email from Sam, after you've read it I would very much appreciate you sending it to me.


Sookie Stackhouse

Begin each sentence on the list with 'Sookie':

1 Stuffed her bra until she was fourteen years old

2 Still has the biggest crush on Uncle Jesse, a.k.a. John Stamos from 'Full House'…

3 …As a result of said crush, she has an unnatural hatred of Rebbeca Romijn, formally known as Rebbeca Romijn Stamos

4 Is afraid of people with alopecia

5 Often says résumé when she means resume

6 Does not like to shit in the woods

7 Asked Lafayette to give her a bikini wax because she felt shy about a stranger being in her nether regions…

8…Sookie lasted 5 minutes before Lafayette got half way done, then she started crying and ran out of the room…

9 …Subsequently Sookie has sworn off getting bikini waxes, from friends or otherwise

10 Prefers eating jello to pudding

11 Has watched 'The Wizard of Oz' 75 times and sing every song very badly and very off key

12 Likes to wear a crown when watching all Disney Princess movies

13 Once attempted to kill a spider with a flip-flop, but in the end, couldn't go through with it, morally speaking…

14 …When I (Sam) killed said arachnid, Sookie called me a murder and a sadist, to which I replied, "It's just a damn spider!"

15 … To which Sookie replied, "how do you know that! It could have been your long lost uncle!"

16 Once tried to tan using butter instead of sun tan lotion

17 Will hum the Jaws theme song when she feels a vampire mind approaching

18 Had a pet rock but she forgot where she put it down and now said pet rock is presumed dead

19 Once hid from a bully in the nurse's office bathroom, where she caught the school nurse doing it with one of the lunch ladies…

20 …In the middle of them doing it Sookie burst out of the bathroom screaming, "For shame lunch lady Doris, you serve our lunches with those hands! FOR SHAME!"

21 Gets really turned on if someone calls her 'Princess Buttercup' or is named Wesley and speaks in a British accent

22 Will definitely fall in the toilet unless you put the seat down

23 Has a crush on Eric but won't ever admit it…

24 Had a crush on Sam but would never act on it…

25 Had a mild fondness for Bill, so she made him her boyfriend, thus proving the towns people right for labeling her 'crazy Sookie'

26 Will grab an inch of fat on Andy Bellfleur and say, "Yeah in an apocalyptic scenario I guess we could all live off of Andy meat for a while"

27 Starts crying when Mufasa dies in the Lion King and doesn't stop until Rafiki goes to Simba and hits him with a stick, at which point she begins to laugh hysterically

28 Always preferred 'Saved By the Bell's' Zack Morris to that of 'Growing Pain's' Mike Seaver

29 Likes to dunk cookies in water

30 Prefers Damon on 'The Vampire Diaries' to Edward or Jacob from Twilight

31 Once stole a llama from a farm outside of Bon Temp and tried to hide it in her room…

32 …She abandoned the llama in the wilderness when said llama would not poop on my (Jason's) bed on command…

33 …Is now afraid of wild rabid llama's who may or may not be out for revenge

34 Was scarred for life after seeing the living headless chicken at a carnival

35 Has been asked if she is related to Scarlett Johansson…

36 …And Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls…

37 …And the Lollipop Princess from Candyland…

38 Loves to make friends and family sit through poorly produced abbreviated plays of 'Gone With the Wind', where she often plays both Rhett and Scarlett…at the same time

39 Wrote, but never showed anyone but me (Jason) and Gran, three children's books called "So Your Really, Really Gifted" and "How To Keep Calm Whilst Listening To the Lewd and Lascivious Losers That Populate Your Life" and "One Vamp, Two Vamp, Red Fish, Blue Fish"

40 Once became so annoyed with me (Jason), for setting her up with a guy on the football team who turned out to be gay, that she super glued the flies of all my pants shut

41 Played a tree in a kindergarten school play, but stood with her back to the audience the whole time cause she was so nervous

42 Will freak out the locals, by letting her stare go blank and pointing at someone and saying "One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! One of us!"

43 Attended 2 Spice Girls concerts and 1 reunion Spice Girl concert

44 Cannot be beaten at any board game on earth, except yatzee

45 Often becomes frustrated with the ignorance of customers and fantasizes about setting them on fire

46 Believes that Big Foot is real…

47 …As is the Loch Ness Monster…

48. …And the land of Misfit Toys

49 Hates people who say 'sup'

50 Loves people who say 'dead as a doornail'

51 Refers to Bill's inability to be badass as his 'feminine problem'

52 Refers to Jason as "Stifler"

53 Refers to Eric as "Big Chauna", "Big Tuna", and "Drop Dead Gorgeous Viking Sex God"

A/N: If you're the kind of reader who reviews, review me. If you're the kind of reader who just reads and doesn't review, telepathically send me a message telling me what you think of the story…and if your not telepathic you know the whole review button works too.

A/N: Also if I continue to be encouraged through reviews, I may do lists for Sam, Jason, and Lafayette!

I didn't plan on doing a series, but by golly I just might be writing one anyway!