A Small Spot of Bother
Merlin and Arthur find themselves in a tight spot. Merlin has a magical escape plan and Arthur's not too happy. Short, random, very pointless fun! Oneshot.
Written far too quickly (so sorry if appears rushed -- it is) as a result of a very random scene popping into my head and being fed up with my abysmal performance in two exams on the trot. Set at an unspecified time ahead of the series assuming Merlin's magic has been revealed to Arthur for a while.
Wide-eyed and slightly out of breath, the two young men staggered into the top-most room of the tower, barricading the heavy door shut behind them.
"Well, where is it?" the prince snapped to Merlin.
"Where's what?" his servant asked.
"The exit, Merlin. You said there was another way out from here and yet I can only see a window."
"Well a window is sort of like an exit," Merlin reasoned
"Yes, but not when you happen to be on the fifth floor."
"So where is the way out?" asked Arthur, still hoping there was a solution to the pickle they were in.
"How should I know where everything is?" Merlin complained. "I haven't been here before any more than you."
"Well I don't know, you're the sorcerer!"
"That doesn't make me omniscient. Besides, I'm an idiot remember?"
"Sadly yes. We wouldn't be in this mess otherwise." Arthur thought back to the moment they'd first arrived.
"I honestly don't think me saying 'that statue looks quite realistic' actually caused this."
"ROAR!" The pair jumped at the monstrous bellowing from downstairs.
"Can't you do something?" Arthur waved his hands in a vaguely mystical manner. Merlin raised his eyebrows at this display.
"Don't you think I've already tried?" he protested.
"What happened?" queried Arthur.
"I think I made it madder, although it is a little tricky to tell with ogres." There was a thunderous booming of approaching footsteps. "I think it's coming this way. "
"Yes I can hear that Merlin."
"It's nearly here."
"Yes, I can smell that Merlin."
"It's here," Merlin gasped as an enormous, grotesque, hulk of a beast burst into the room in a shower of wood from the former-door.
"Your powers of observation are uncanny, you do realise that?" commented Arthur dryly.
Merlin glanced outside. "I have an idea but you're not going to like it?"
"Now would be quite a good time," said Arthur, backing towards the window and wishing he still had his sword… or a knife… even a spoon might come in handy; his weapon of choice had been used as a toothpick after the ogre had polished off the last of five knights for elevenses.
"I know but…"
"Whatever it is, just do it!" yelled Arthur.
"Ok… Scúfan!" Merlin shouted, his arm thrust out towards Arthur.
"What th–" the prince began, taken aback as he was hurtled backwards into the empty space outside. With the wind rushing against his back he saw his companion follow, leaping out of the rapidly shrinking window he'd just been unceremoniously flung from. Merlin could be seen to mutter more of that incomprehensible gobbledegook he always used and Arthur's fall was suddenly softened by a cushion of air. Arthur managed to land with an undignified thud and a clatter, due to his armour. He looked around, peeved, as Merlin landed gracefully on his feet beside him. That wasn't fair, Merlin never did anything gracefully.
Irritated, Arthur pushed himself to his feet and turned to face Merlin who was glowing with his achievement.
"MER-LIN! What have I told you about doing that?"
"Ah, yes," Merlin faltered. "Give you some kind of warning first… but technically last time it was a cliff and we were running away from a–" Arthur rolled his eyes in disbelief.
"Before deliberately pushing me from any great height… warn me!"
"Right okay, next time–"
Arthur glared daggers at Merlin, who shrank back guiltily. Next time?
"There probably won't be a next time," Merlin corrected, "but if there is – which again, is very unlikely – I'll let you know first,"
"If its not too much trouble."
"At least I used a different spell than before. I'm really glad it actually worked," said Merlin proudly.
"Yes, me t– What do you mean? You didn't know it was going to work?" cried Arthur, dumbfounded.
Arthur heaved a ginormous sigh of exasperation.
"It's not too late to have you executed, you know," he said.
"You wouldn't last two minutes without me and you know it," replied Merlin grinning.
"You wouldn't care to try it sometime and give me a moment's peace?"
"Not a chance."
"Thought not," Arthur said.
"I thought you'd be pleased I didn't use the same magic as before," Merlin pointed out. Arthur wasn't best pleased.
"Don't even talk about the last time," warned Arthur, a finger pointing at his servant. "The notions that enter your head sometimes are… beyond words."
"I was just saying– "
"Never, I repeat, never mention last time."
"DON'T!" Arthur said crossly. "I was moulting feathers for a week."