Characters: Carter, Lupo.
Pairing: Carter/Stark. Kind of.
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: Season 1
Summary: One of the last people who hadn't thought he and Nathan were secretly gay for each other had been witness to the most intense makeout session his life.
Beta: Apologies to enigmaticblues, but it hasn't been. Sorry, Hun!
Feedback: is a must!
Disclaimer: Not mine. I play with other people's toys.
A/N: Written for enigmaticblues in the Stark's Lab ( community . livejournal / starks_lab /) Secret Santa.
A/N2: Warning, this is a 'science made them do' it fic. However, it's not Fargo's fault. Or Taggart's. Or Larry's.
A/N3: Remembered afterwards that this was for *Stark's* lab. With very little mention of Stark. So there must be a second part, right?

The request;
Pairing preferred (or gen): Jack/Nathan, but I'm flexible
Pairings NOT wanted: Any slash other than Jack/Nathan
Prompt: If there was one thing Jack and Nathan had in common, it was...
Things you don't want: Unhappy ending, PWP

...

If there was one thing Carter and Stark had in common, it was that neither man knew when to give up. Deputy Lupo told him as much on Nathan Stark's third week back in Eureka. To her surprise, he hadn't argued the point. He just looked at her blankly before reclining in his chair and closing his eyes.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

Lupo sighed. Of course her new boss would turn out to be the kind of jackass who answered a question with another question.

"Never mind."

"Okay." He continued to look at the ceiling, as though he had nothing better to do. Jo continued to watch him for another minute, then pulled out her gun and began to take it apart. "He'll break before I do." Jack said conversationally. The Deputy stopped and looked at him oddly.

"Uh, Carter?" She squinted at him, as though trying to figure out if he'd lost his mind. "What are you talking about?"

"Stark." Her brow furrowed further.

"Yeah, I got that. Break how?"

"Uh..." The phone on Jo's desk rang then.

"Lupo. Yeah... uh-huh... okay. Yes, Fargo, got it. Stark's throwing a fit. Not all that unusual... No, I'm not insulting Doctor Stark, I'm just making an observation. I swear." Lupo rolled her eyes at Jack, who grinned at her. "I'll be there soon. Okay." She hung up the phone and leaned forward on her desk.

"Fargo blew something up again?"

"Actually, no. It was Larry. Believe it or not, Fargo's running the clean up. Stark's so furious that there were personal experiments going on that used GD resources that he wants Larry arrested."

"Okay." Carter stood up and fixed his handcuffs to his gun belt.

"You're going?" Lupo asked, and Jack nodded.

"Yup. Why?" Jo shook her head and sat back into her chair, watching him secure the belt and head to the door.

"No reason. Have fun."

"Yeah. You too. With the gun." He waved distractedly and left, leaving Jo to watch the door swing closed.

"That wasn't at all odd."

.

"Honey, I'm home." When he walked into the station a few hours later, Jack was soaking wet, even though the sun had been shining all day. His Deputy smiled sweetly at him and levelled her gun.

"You call me honey again, and it'll be the last thing you call anyone." Unfazed, he whistled as he sat down, still smiling wildly. "Are you okay? Why are you wet" She gave him a strange look and her eyes ticked towards the door. "And where's Larry?"

"I shot him."

"What?"

Nearly falling off his chair laughing, Carter braced his hands on either side of his desk, trying to calm himself down. "Relax, Jo. I'm joking. He's with Taggart. His little 'project' involved messing about animal hormones and cinnamon buns." He shuttered. "A combination I never want to understand." Jo nodded, still looking at him oddly. "What?"

"So why are you dripping all over the station and why are you glowing? Did you get any of Larry's stuff on you?"

"According to the Hazmat suit's monitor, I'm fine. Nothing penetrated it." The Sheriff broke into giggles again and Jo sighed. This was going to take awhile.

"And the water?"

"Some sort of hypo-hydro... something. It's supposed to be evaporation resistant for deserts or something. The lab working on it was next to the empty lab Larry was working in and apparently shared an air vent."

"So how'd you get the water on you if you were wearing the Hazmat suit?"

"After the air filters got rid of all the air pollutants, the tool working there hit the wrong button and his tank blew." Another snicker and Jo reached for the phone. Hitting speed-dial, she kept a careful eye on Carter as the phone rang.

"Allison? Hi. Have you seen Carter today? He was at GD today and- No, he's not missing. He's here, he's just... Well, he's acting drunk." Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Jack spin a pencil on his desk. "I wish I were kidding. Yeah. Something to do with Larry and hyper-hydration water, I think. He was cleared, but he's not acting normal."

"Nathan!" Jack jumped when he heard Allison yell. He looked around and only then did he notice that Jo was on the phone.

"Why's Allison yelling at Nathan?"

Jo waved her hand at him, dismissively. "Allison? Are you okay?"

"Jo, can you hang on for a second?" She heard a crash and winced. A moment later, Dr. Black was back on the phone. "That was Nathan. Apparently, he decided it would be a good idea to riffle through my desk." Lupo heard Stark argue something, but she ignored it.

"Right. So, I'm thinking that something Larry did manage to affect them in some way that wasn't detected."

"It's looking that way... Can you get him back here? I'd like to run some more extensive tests."

"No problem. We'll be there in 20." She hung up and found Carter looking at her expectantly. "Come on, we're going to Global."

"We're going to see Nathan?" She looked at him warily, then walked over and took his gun out of his holster. She tossed it into his open drawer, and then kicked it closed.

"Yeah. But you can't shoot him."

"Don't wanna shoot him. Just want to hang out."

"Right. Okay then," she held out her hand. "Give me the keys."

"No fair. I want to drive. It's my jeep."

"Tough. Do you want to see Nathan or not?"

Much to her surprise, he gave her his baseball bat keychain and followed her out the door.

.

Groaning, Jack slowly opened his eyes to the high-intensity lighting of the infirmary of Global Dynamics. Immediately, he closed them again. "Oww."

"Dr. Blake!" He winced as Zoe screamed for Allison.

"Hey Zo..." He rasped, unwilling to open his eyes again, "Could you keep it down? My head feels like it's going to explode." His daughter snorted. "What?" He ground out.

"I bet it does."

"Thanks for your understanding." He was out again before Allison came over.

.

Much later, Jack opened his eyes again. This time the lights were dimmer and the throbbing in his head had gone down to a dull ache. He sat up slowly, nausea making his stomach roll and he groaned. "I'm going to kill Larry."

"It wasn't Larry."

He looked over to see Jo curled up in the chair next to his bed. "Hey, Jo."

"Hey yourself. Feeling better?"

"A little? I mean, yeah. I don't feel like I'm dying again." He rubbed his forehead, trying to clear his head. "What do you mean it wasn't Larry?"

"Larry's experiment was a flop. Big surprise, huh? We've found someone even less competent then Fargo." They both chuckled darkly. "But you can't kill Vincent. He meant well."

"VINCENT drugged me?"

"Actually, he drugged a third of the town. I've been informed that since Stark's return, happiness levels have dropped significantly and he came up with a way to fix the problem."

"By getting us drunk?" He looked at her doubtfully.

"Not quite. He used a form of GHB, but altered the composition just enough so that it wouldn't result in blackouts or memory loss. But it was stronger than it was supposed to have been."

He laid back down, tilting his head to look at her. "Oh, well then, that makes it all better." Jack said dryly. "Now that I know I was roofied under the best intentions, it's all okay."

She laughed. "I should get going. I've got Taggart watching the farm, but I'd better get back."

"Sure. Thanks, Jo. See you later."

"Feel better." She waved. "By the way, nice hicky."

He shot up, his head immediately throbbing again from the sudden movement, but she was gone. "Crap." One of the last people who hadn't thought he and Nathan were secretly gay for each other had been witness to the most intense makeout session his life. Along with Allison. And Fargo. With Nathan.

Slowly, he closed his eyes, and lay down again. "Double crap." He used all of his willpower not to look around to see if Nathan Stark was in one of the other beds in the room. If he didn't look, it didn't happen. He could pretend that it was a drug-induced hallucination. It was a common side-effect of altered GHB. Jack knew it to be a fact because he just made it up.

"So gonna kill Vince when I get out of here."

.

Watching through the one-way glass outside the infirmary, Jo laughed and Allison tried to smother a smile.

"Absolutely in denial."

"Vince was right." Jo looked at Allison. "How much are you out?"

Allison grinned. "Are you kidding? I won." She laughed at the other woman's expression. "I was married to him for years. I know him better than anyone else here."

"Wow."

"Yeah." Still laughing, she steered Jo away. "Come on, I'll take you to dinner."

"I thought Café Diem was closed."

"It is. But I know this place..."